Help me figure this chick out!

[mahon83050]

There is a girl at work who I thought I had all the buying signals from, (maybe not playing with the hair)...but everything else. We e-mail each other alot and she is on the other side of the floor. I decided to non-chalantly ask her out thru our e-mail system.

Me: I was planning on getting a bite to eat after work on Thursday, I would like you to join me.

Her: "Well, I promised my aunt I would watch the final episode of friends with her at 8Pm. That does not give us much time."

Me: "Well, that is alright, I understand."

Her response was not really a rejection, but she never e-mailed me back after my last response and never suggested we hang out another time.

I thought this chick had fairly high IL...WTF? Any input?

 

[golf299]

the general rule is that if she doesnt counter-offer, and she easily could have, then her IL is way low.

but, some girls are weird. don't next her just yet. give her another chance...tell her to come somewhere with you again, just like you did before.

after that if she decline with no counter offer, i would look elsewhere.

 

[PRMoon]

I typically won't eat with a girl until she's agreed to put some quality time in my bed. Not saying we can't go to a bar for a snack but there had better be plenty of drinking involved and either a heavy make out session or sex before I'm droping change on any meal of some kind.

As for your case about her not goin out with you cause she wants to watch friends with her auntie, I wouldn't worry about it, but you will have to be more forceful and direct next time. Ask her when she has some free time and tell her to meet you at the bar during said free time... you'll be in like flint.

 

[TurboLover]

Ask in person or on the phone, so you can get a better feel on her IL.

Also, non-chalantly would be more like seeing her and say "hey I am going here after work today would you like to join me," on the same day. The fact that you picked a day later on, makes it seem like you thought about it too much.

Good luck.

 

[mahon83050]

Thanks for all of your replies. Furthermore, I seem to take rejection or what seems like a rejection personal. Now, I feel I will have a hard time being friendly to this chick. I want to ignore her and maybe be a little rude.

However, I guess they taught us that if I act the way I do above, I will look like a loser. Should I still be friendly and outgoing to her like I was previously.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

maybe this girl figured you were asking her out on a date and simply told you the truth, she didn't have much time on that particular day. She probably wondered just how interested you were/are in her since you asked her in such a non-chalant way. Girls dream of being swept off their feet by prince charming, not emailed an invitation to whataburger by a co-worker who has entered the "friend zone" by chatting with her online a lot.

She may in fact want to go on a date with you, so don't freak out... ask her again, face to face, direct and to the point, balls to the walls, full steam ahead, pedal to the metal. Good luck!

 

[JJMcLure]

In future, ask chicks out in person or on the phone. You have found one of the reasons e-mail is not a way you should ask a chick out. (Hard to interpret her reaction. And now you don't know what to do next).

It looked to me like she wasn't necessarily saying no. She just said you would have to make it short.

Then your reply left it hanging, like are you or aren't you going, it could be taken either way. She might have still expected to go but you never followed up.

Grab your fvckin' balls next time. E-mail is weak. She knows it, you know it. Consider how may guys hit on her face to face and then you come in with the e-mail approach. Don't let yourself appear unconfident that way.

Don't ignore her or be rude to her. That would be totally AFC. Just ask again and act the same as you have been.

 

[biker_gixxer]

Originally posted by mahon83050
Thanks for all of your replies. Furthermore, I seem to take rejection or what seems like a rejection personal. Now, I feel I will have a hard time being friendly to this chick. I want to ignore her and maybe be a little rude.

However, I guess they taught us that if I act the way I do above, I will look like a loser. Should I still be friendly and outgoing to her like I was previously.

Taking it personally is the biggest mistake you can make. If she isn't interested, who cares? Be cool and collected, don't act mad or be rude. Behaving this way shows that she got to you (this shows weakness).

Stay away from emails. This gives women the impression that your weak or timid. Ask her face to face, point blank as mentioned above. This shows that you're not intimated or scared of her. Make sure you have eye contact, let her know your the 'man'.

 

[Hollowpoint]

JJMcLure is so right.

And don't take it personal.

 

[mahon83050]

Thanks for your help, but there is more.

I e-mailed her the next day (work related) and she mentioned that she cannot go out Thurs...but stated another time.

I asked her out this week, in person...she said yes. I then confirmed with her today via e-mail if we were still on for Thurs. She said she had to cancel again (no reason) but said we can do lunch on Friday.

My problem is, doing lunch sounds more like two friends going out to lunch, not a date. I think this is a rejection, what do you think?

 

[Big Pappy]

Let this be a lesson to you.

When the lady says yes, you take her for her word. Why confirm? When a salesman has you signed to buy the car, does he offer to tear up the contract and let you sign another? Nope!


She's sounding a bit flakey, but this is possibly because of you.

Wait a few weeks before asking again, and ask out two or three other chicks. Then, tell her where you two are going. If she can't make it, you say "Ok, talk to you later." Then you leave or hang up. If she counters with another time, you tell her that the previously mentioned time was her time. She will reschedule her other obligations if her interest level is high enough.

 

[ElvisthePrez]

I had a very similar situation and I can confirm what others have said, which is blatantly obvious -- email is WEAK. It's easy and fun to mess around with, but relying on it too much can make face-to-face time unnatural, which is bass-ackwards. Anyway, good luck with the chick. I agree that being cool and staying away for awhile will suit you well. But watch out, my friend, she may be prone to giving you the email feelers. I would take these very casually...in your responses, how much you write, how fast you reply, etc. Work chicks are tough because you always see them. Make yourself more scarce.

 

[Hollowpoint]

"My problem is, doing lunch sounds more like two friends going out to lunch, not a date. "

Kino.


Make sure you shower though.



Edit: Oh yeah, using company email is even worse.....
Anyone checks that up at any preformance reviews and it will be a dark spot.

"Ok, I see you have used our email system to try and get laid. How do you feel about your future with this company?"

 

[BrWnSugaMan]

ElvisthePrez hit the nail on the head...

email is WEAK. It's easy and fun to mess around with, but relying on it too much can make face-to-face time unnatural, which is bass-ackwards.

- I once asked this girl out by instant message and we called it a *date*. When I went to pick her up it felt really awkward for the both of us. It was so awkward I didn't know what to do whether or not I should compliment her or what.