Help me decide which girl to pick...

T

Toddy

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Bit of context, I'm 48 years old, I'm 6'4 in great shape work out most days and do jiu jitsu a few times a week. 100k salary, so tick all the 6's boxes!
I was married for 20 years until separated a couple of years ago, I've been dating with a lot of success, I've dated in the region of 30 women, been intimate with probably half. Thing is I really want to be in a committed relationship, I've narrowed it down to two but can't decide. Some of you may have seen my other thread on one is looking at a girls weekend away which does concern me a little although pre-planned and is not a regular occurrence.

Thoughts please on the two options (I think both are fantastic and would be happy with either):

Girl 1
43yr 5'7 slim ish (although a bit of a mum's body, if you know what I mean looks slim in clothes) nice c cup very pretty. Single mom two girls 8 &12. Only had two boyfriends one being her ex-husband. So so attentive always make an effort, makes breakfast and a coffee, asks if I need anything from the shops, makes a lovely spread of food, when we go to the beach she brings two hot drinks. Is also up for fun, personality is amazing a little ditzy, has a nice job and a lovely house. I'm only able to see her once a week and every other weekend.

Girl 2
44yr 5'2 curvy but firm and not heavy lovely double dd's. Single mom two boys 16 & 19 and two dogs. Likely to have a high body count, the chemistry between us is insane, she is very adventurous (for me anyway) in the bedroom, loves dressing up, loves to be dominated. She's not as pretty as girl 1 but I'm so attracted to her. Decent job and a nice house. She can be jealous, a little needy in that she wants to see me all of the time. Doesn't cook, I'm not too fussed about this, as I'm fussy and like to cook keto stuff and fast so suits me.

I've been seen both now for a few months, it's implied we're exclusive but not confirmed and don't suspect either are talking to anyone else. I've had my fun and am looking for an LTR.
 
sharkfinale

sharkfinale

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My opinion is neither. If you are who you say you are, you should be dating women in 30s.
 
B

BackInTheGame78

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No this is wrong. It's NEVER implied you are exclusive and the fact you are thinking like this puts you in a weaker position in the relationship because you have expectations you should not have at this point.

If anything, SHE should be the one worried about that, not you.

That's a feminine role, not your job.
 
A

Agamemnon43

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You can't predict the future, you will not know which is objectively better for you. However, if you keep describing them more and more here, guys will just pick whichever description THEY like more. This is a hard question, since you don't need "usual" help with datin etc. here. I Don't think you should ask this here, you will be mislead. And you probably will still pick on your own and ignore this.
 
SW15

SW15

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Neither is a good choice. One is a promiscuous woman who goes on drinking/partying fests as a 40+ woman. Both are single moms.
 
FlexpertHamilton

FlexpertHamilton

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Neither, they're both too old. Date a childless 30 year old.
 
Dr.Suave

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Toddy said:
Bit of context, I'm 48 years old, I'm 6'4 in great shape work out most days and do jiu jitsu a few times a week. 100k salary, so tick all the 6's boxes!
I was married for 20 years until separated a couple of years ago, I've been dating with a lot of success, I've dated in the region of 30 women, been intimate with probably half. Thing is I really want to be in a committed relationship, I've narrowed it down to two but can't decide. Some of you may have seen my other thread on one is looking at a girls weekend away which does concern me a little although pre-planned and is not a regular occurrence.

Thoughts please on the two options (I think both are fantastic and would be happy with either):

Girl 1
43yr 5'7 slim ish (although a bit of a mum's body, if you know what I mean looks slim in clothes) nice c cup very pretty. Single mom two girls 8 &12. Only had two boyfriends one being her ex-husband. So so attentive always make an effort, makes breakfast and a coffee, asks if I need anything from the shops, makes a lovely spread of food, when we go to the beach she brings two hot drinks. Is also up for fun, personality is amazing a little ditzy, has a nice job and a lovely house. I'm only able to see her once a week and every other weekend.

Girl 2
44yr 5'2 curvy but firm and not heavy lovely double dd's. Single mom two boys 16 & 19 and two dogs. Likely to have a high body count, the chemistry between us is insane, she is very adventurous (for me anyway) in the bedroom, loves dressing up, loves to be dominated. She's not as pretty as girl 1 but I'm so attracted to her. Decent job and a nice house. She can be jealous, a little needy in that she wants to see me all of the time. Doesn't cook, I'm not too fussed about this, as I'm fussy and like to cook keto stuff and fast so suits me.

I've been seen both now for a few months, it's implied we're exclusive but not confirmed and don't suspect either are talking to anyone else. I've had my fun and am looking for an LTR.
Click to expand...
Option 1
 
C

Canadian_Man

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Woman 1 sounds like the one less likely to cause future issues, if that's an important part of your risk analysis.

She's also the one who sounds like a better companion, if that's important to you.

My hunch is you're leaning towards Woman 2, mostly because of what I presume is the better s*x.

If you're reluctant about the single mom aspect, Woman 2 likely won't have her teenage children for much longer living at home.

As mentioned above by someone else, and in the PsychHacks video with Orion linked above, it's about your preferences.

What do you value most?

What are the other considerations that you haven't mentioned but might be important for you?
Such as:
- do you like children in general?
- if so, do you get along better with one of the mother's children better than the other?
- what of the baby daddies, what are their involvement and how could they complicate your life?
- does one or both of them still seem very bitter or sour with their ex(es)?


Again my guess is appearance and s*x are higher on your list of preferences, given how you opened with a description of each woman's physical appearance, breast sizes, etc., so, the other considerations for you might relate to that

-------
If you're comfortable with it, then you might be better off waiting a while longer to make a decision (a few reasons not to would be to not string a woman along, and for mental peace if this is bothering you).

A few reasons to wait would be:
(1) to have a better feel for it to make a more informed decision,
(2) the allure of s*x might fade as the early honeymoon phase does, and,
(3) if that extra time is a month or two then one of the women (more likely Woman 2) might blow it up which would be better to have happen before dropping the other woman.

Personally I find I make better decisions and come to an easier peace with them for semi-important/important problems after I've thought about it a while, weighed the options, then stopped thinking about it for several days or a week. Provided I have the time to go through that process, the answer usually becomes obvious to me. Perhaps that process might be of use to you.
 
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