help me cuz I haven't got a fukkin clue with this one

[jbbrain]

I have no doubt that this site has shed some extrmely valuable light as to how a woman's mind thinks, but there comes a time when the things they do or say STILL baffle me. At this point, I rather not even try to understand what's going on in those crazy heads of theirs. A brief story 'bout me and my lady last night.

My girlfriend had asked me since the beginning of the week to go out with her and her friends on thursday (last night) because it was a guy frien of her's b day and she wanted to go out with me. Fine, I wanted to go out and hadn't spent so much time with her lately, so I was excited. The plan was to get going failry early and catch some free drinks becauser it was ladies night. Ladies night officially ends at midnight or some shyt like that. We wanted to get going at 11 or something of the sort. 1130 comes around, still no word. I'm dressed at my pace, looking great, ready to go and get my (free) drink on, and still no word from them. At the time, I had my friend over, so my time waiting was still time well spent.

I call her at 1130, her and her friends arent even ready. Fvck. I'm here waiting for this girl expecting her to come by at any moment and she isnt even ready. Long story short, we end up getting to the club only at 1245 or 1. To be honest, Im pissed, was busting her teasingly on her tardiness but then we get in the club and its like, I'm ready to have fun. Musics rocking, packed with people, getting my drink on, and I'm having fun. My lady and I are having a blast, kissing, dancing AND doing our own thing, talking to friends and such...a recipe for a very good night. All the meanwhile she keeps on drilling me:

"are u mad at me, are u mad at me, why are you looking at me like that??"

This WAS the ongoign theme for the night. I told her to fukkin relax and that I'm not mad and I'm just enjoying myself and she just can't get her own line of reasoning out of her head. That righteous little girl, she ALWAYS thinks she's right ie: "No..jb, you've been looking at me weird all night.."

Sigh. Why so fukkin defensive? Just believe me when I tell you NOTHING IS WRONG. Ahem. Overall, despite her nagging, we're still having fun.

All that turned I feel when I strted talkign to an old fvck buddy of mine whom my gf had never met. FB was wated as hell, so I was helping her find her friends. My girl comes up to us and I introduce them. We're dancing and finally FB leaves to find her friends meanwhile I see my gf is a little irritated (of course she would be TOO proud to be honest about it). So, she asks me with a straight face:

"Hey, did you hook up with FB?"

JB: "What a srange question. Why on earth would you ask that?Do you see me flirting with this girl, why the paranoia?" (and, in the end, why do you even CARE?)

"I'm curious..."

JB: "I still think its strange for you to ask me this out of the blue but if you want my honest answer, then I'm goign to be honest with you and tell you that..well..yeah. We hooked up."

"when?"

JB: "Before you and I even knew eachother" (I lied because I was nailing her as well as 3 other randoms when GF and I were still just dating at the beginning of September..I didn't want her to know that, wasn't going to help anything)

"Ok, i just wanted to know"

After this point, her mood was even more defensive, nagging me EVEN MORE about "Why are you looking at me like that? Jb, you're giving me the "weird eye"...

Guys, this is like the whole night. i wanted to literally punch this girls head in.

-Now, back in her bed at the end of the night-

I simply call hr on her bullshyt. This chcik has been acting fukked up all night and she's nailing me for being strange and looking at her "weirdly". Maybe still hell bent out of shape because she thought I was still mad at her for the strat of the night?

jb:"Babe, you know what? You've been acting like some chick I don't even know all night, and this mostly started after I told you about my previous "sexcapade"(didnt use that word) with this chick. But you're so in denial of your feelings and too proud that you couldn't even tell me about it. Not only that, but you're turning the tables on me like I'm the fukked up one the whole night. That is so fukked up and weird!

"No, I'm NOT CRAZY! I'm telling you I'm NOT CRAZY! You were looking at me weird! (girl is getting psycho here with her defensiveness)

jb:"you know..a sign of craziness is absolutely refuting and being closed to the idea that you could ever possibly be wrong (dont know if thats true, but it sounded pretty good)

"No, I'm NOT CRAZY!" (yikes)

I see I'm not getting anywhere with this girl right now. Not only is she possibly a little crazy, but seems to me even more about insecurity..hence her pride and her choice to avoid showing emotion at all costs. So, I let her know what i feel about the situation, she of course doesnt hear one word I'm telling her, so we change the subject..

TO SEX

We start having sex. This was all a minor fight, so the sex was good and intense. The phone rings, and this is at 430 am. I tell her to answer it (this is while she's riding me). So, she does. Something about a friend of hers who cut herself. So, she's talking for about a minute, then gf mentions "put a bandaid on it and it will be ok.."

WTF? At that point, not only did I figure out that it musnt have been very serious, but that also my GF is talking on the phone for 5 minutes with one of her gf's she talks to every day at 430 am while she was having sex with me about things like "yeah, so when did you get in? Oh really...? and on and on and on. Halfway through, I simply tell her to get off the fukkin phone and that they can talk tomorrow. She doesn't. Finally she gets off, I'm limp, a little drunk, and I just look at her with a look that just said everything I was feeling about the night with her. I was NOT impressed. I'm not even tired either, and she's not putting any effort into rekindling any sort of that horniness we both had right before the phone call, so I put on my clothes and tell her I'm going home. I'm leaving to her cries of (shes hysterically crying now)

"you really know hot make a girl feel CHEAP!" and other such nonsense. I call back and just say "You know what? Yoy can grow the fvck up" as I left through the door into the frigid 5am morning.

Guys, I seriously applaud you if you got down to this point. Honestly, thanks. I'm usually not one to ramble about or complain about these things. Especially something like this that can easily be understood and answered by "WTF are u talking about?" It is a ramble, but to me, at least, this girls behaviour was way off the charts. Her pride takes control of her and she plays the victim when she obviously has her OWN issues to deal with. Although I know this not be a very uncommon female phenomenon, I would still appreciate any feedback.

Jb's dazed and confused...

 

[jbbrain]

.

 

[jbbrain]

guys, wait.

No, seriously, wait.

I just read over this thread and have come to the conclusion that some things maybe aren't meant to be understood. Which is a shame because I just spent about 25 minutes writing that long assed post, but I honestly cannot see how any of you guys, who are not in my situation, can help me out with solid advice. I think there are too many variables to consider.

In any case, it still sucks ballz because we're apparently not talking. Ha...

 

[prosemont]

This is not uncommon whatsoever in the land of the LTR. Get used to it, kid.

 

[NatureGuy]

"Why are you looking at me like that? Jb, you're giving me the "weird eye"...

That part really had me laughing !! (not
at you JB ) I've had similar experiences
and I can really relate to it. Overall,
I think it's pretty normal and I probably
would have ignored her comments pretty
quickly. She seems to feel guilty about
something, so she's anticipating your being displeased with her. Probably the
fact that she was late.

 

[FreeStyleZ]

well i have no advice but figured id let u know i read through the whole thing because it actually was interesting. Most of the time i dont read long ass posts.

 

[Jvesti]

girls love the drama

you gave her what she needed

I don't blame you for leaving. You gotta have a 0 tolerance for that bull****. Right when she starts up that ****, tell her either get your act together or I will either leave or kick you out. Something to the extent of walking away from the situation.

Plain and simple, she will learn to get her act together through this. and respect you for it.

what i would of done:

Her: why are you looking at me weird (2nd time she said this)

Me: (in a cool strong relaxed congruent voice) Enough, with this either stop this bs and have a fun time or I'm "a. out b. your going to have to find another ride home because i don't deserve to deal with this it's not fun c. anything else that would get you out of the situation with her such as walking away and avoiding her and not spending the night with her.

From there on in: she makes a decision

a. she stays in line and both of you are happy
b. she keeps it up, you walk away from the situation and being the DJ you are find another situation that is to your liking

Be comfortable with it because either way your getting what you want out of the situation.

CASE CLOSED

 

[Jake Steed]

Jb, I agree with Prosemont that this is all part of LTRs, give or take a little, depending on what kind of girl you are dealing with.

The bottom line is, our girl is immature and insecure. This is a volatile combination, as you are discovering. Don't worry, it's pretty standard for girls like that. I've dealt with plenty of girls like this in college. How old is she--19?

The first part of her freak out can be explained. She's immature and insecure, so when she was late, she became VERY self conscious that she'd pissed you off. If she was a mature woman, she would have taken your word that you weren't mad and that would have been that. But, she's young and immature, so she feels this subconscious need to stir up the drama pot a little bit. So instead of letting it drop, she lets her insecurities drive her nuts until she irritates you into actually being angry, which was what she supposedly didn't want to begin with.

You know how little kids, like your cousins or little sisters will come up to you and poke at you or tug on your pantleg so you'll give them attention? That's the equivalent of what she was doing.

Add to the mix the FB. When she saw you with the FB, her radar went off that you had fvcked that girl. No matter how you tried to act otherwise, women can smell it. This just fed into her state of insecurity and in her mind, she began to worry that you might re-hook up with FB in order to get back at her somehow.

JB: "Before you and I even knew eachother" (I lied because I was nailing her as well as 3 other randoms when GF and I were still just dating at the beginning of September..I didn't want her to know that, wasn't going to help anything)

Good. You did a smart thing here. I've been in a couple LTRs and this is the best way to avoid drama. She knew you'd been fvcking that girl, and she probably knew you were lying, but she just wanted assurance anyways, even if she knew it was a lie. Women are like that. They need bullshyt assurance from time to time. Always avoid drama any way you can.

That whole phone call thing was weird. It makes me wonder if she's actually 16, rather than 19. Again, this was another attempt to stir the pot. She subconsciously wanted to keep fighting with you, so she allowed the phone call to happen because she knew it would piss you off.

Remember the little cousin tugging at your pantleg for attention--this was just another one of those instances.

So of course things blew up the way she wanted them to. You left. Good. That's what you should have done. Removing yourself from the situation was smart because she deserves to be punished for this bad behavior.

"you really know hot make a girl feel CHEAP!"

Never respond to statements like this. This was just a desperate attempt for her to piss you off so you and her could have some more "healthy relationship fights". Notice it had nothing to do with the situation at all. She's the one who was disrespecting you by taking a fvcking phone call while you were fvcking. How would she have responded had you taken a phone call from a buddy and chatted about cars?

From here on:

1. Do NOT apologize. ONLY apologize when you've done something wrong. Believe me, I had a gf who loved to stir the shyt, and I learned that apologizing for something I didn't do made her lose respect for me. Hold your ground and explain to her calmly what SHE did wrong and that SHE needs to have an attitude adjustment.

2. Do not get into yelling matches with her. Have you witnessed the flame wars that happen online? Arguing with a woman is the same way. She will try anything she can to blindside you with rediculous statements that have nothing to do with the debate or her bad behavior ("you really know hot make a girl feel CHEAP!"). Women will do this when they know they are wrong.

They try to trick you into fighting about some other issue until when it's all said and done you are so confused, you don't know up from down, and you end up apologizing just to get it behind you.

Make sure you keep the argument on the topic of her mis-behavior, make your points in a calm, low voice (seduction), and be scientific about it. Do not let her hijack the argument. She will try.

Jake

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

This whole debacle reads like a comedy of errs. Here's what I caught and I'll try to just hit the main points as they came...

1) Naturally you were angry with her for being late. With good reason. The fact that she was an hour and a half late even given that she had all day before tells me she either a) didn't care to primp til the last minute, or b) That was only a fraction of the time she spent primping. I'm more inclined to believe 'b' which also indicates major insecurity. Let's take that and run...

2) So you're mad and start cracking on her in the car. This puts her on the defensive. From that point on every movement, every look, every gesture of yours will be seen through the filter of your presumed anger and magnified by her insecurity. (Can someone come up with an equation for that? Something like the ratio of an HB's positive state of mind= your percieved intentions + the factor of her insecurity multiplied by the effort she's put into looking as good as she does now?)

3) So this' been going on for a while and as her erroneous assumptions dog-pile on top of her, the pressure becomes greater to find out what's wrong. Cue exagerated reactions.

4) Here comes the fun part. She sees you talking to another girl (very attractive at that) and she thinks she's losing you because of your percieved hostility. Anxiety only increases when she finds out you had shagged the rug out from under the girl you were talking to. Now, she's got to factor in competition, and she's even entertaining the notions that you were talking to XFB to get a dig in at her because, or you're leaving her all together, because lets not forget you've been mad-dogging her all night by this point.

5) Cue the end of the night... You bring it up (perhaps a wiser course of action would be to just skip straight to the angry sex and nip this thing in the bud in one fell orgasm.) and she returns to the defensive, assuming of course that she ever really left that point to begin with. You in essence ask "WTF is wrong with you you neurotic schizophrenic?" (no matter how you said it, that's what she heard) Cue the repeated denials that she suffers from mental illness.

6) Now comes the sex. I would like to say at this point that you are a better man than I because I would've cut my losses and left a long time ago. You're both getting into it and the phone rings.

7) She's talking to her best friend over no big deal while simultaneously riding you, seemingly more interested in the phone fluff she's engaging in with her friend, than the hot raunchy sweaty deranged monkey sex she's engaging in with you. Disheartening to say the least. Naturally, you cut and run, but she sees the limpness and presumes you've finished and are running out on her...and she feels like you used her for sex and that's the only reason you stayed with her all night despite your outright loathing of all things her for the simple reason she made you late. Cue the cheap remark.

I can sum this entire situation up in one four letter word. N-E-X-T!

Let us know how things do or don't progress with Psychochic (as I will now affectionately call her)

-CyranoDeBergerac

 

[prosemont]

One more thing ...

Good advice Jake.

Re the talking on the phone bit. Here is EXACTLY what I would have done and I'm not kidding:

sounds like she was on top of you...

I would have flipped her around so that she was either missionary or doggy and then I would have fvcked her really hard up the bed until her head was LITERALLY banging against the headboard (or wall) and she would have to either explain to the caller wtf that sound is or get off the phone.

 

[CyranoDeBergerac]

Re: One more thing...

Originally posted by prosemont
Re the talking on the phone bit ... here is EXACTLY what I would have done and I'm not kidding:

sounds like she was on top of you...

I would have flipped her around so that she was either missionary or doggy and then I would have fvcked her really hard up the bed until her head was LITERALLY banging against the headboard (or wall) and she would have to either explain to the caller wtf that sound is or get off the phone.

Prosemont, I like your style.

 

[jbbrain]

Originally posted by Jake Steed
Jb, I agree with Prosemont that this is all part of LTRs, give or take a little, depending on what kind of girl you are dealing with.

-Great. You're saying this shyt is normal? Wow, that is the most disheartening thing I've heard all week. I'm thinking I should give this "serious" stuff up and go back to fukking randoms chicks...uhh, the masochism of humanity...

The bottom line is, our girl is immature and insecure. This is a volatile combination, as you are discovering. Don't worry, it's pretty standard for girls like that. I've dealt with plenty of girls like this in college. How old is she--19?

-It's crazy, because until just very recently, I never thought she was the insecure type. I mean, Immature, that was never a doubt. She's 20, and maybe you've read my previous posts how she's very inexperienced, is extremely passive..you scolded me before (it was actually a wake up call) when I said I felt in some ways I embarked in the relationship to change this girl. I mean, she had the perfect foundation-HOT, sweet, faithful etc. I wanted to turn this girl into the way I wanted her to be...very lame..but all of this because she is VERY immature. She'll need to get herself "out there" eventually..i give her time though...

The first part of her freak out can be explained. She's immature and insecure, so when she was late, she became VERY self conscious that she'd pissed you off. If she was a mature woman, she would have taken your word that you weren't mad and that would have been that. But, she's young and immature, so she feels this subconscious need to stir up the drama pot a little bit. So instead of letting it drop, she lets her insecurities drive her nuts until she irritates you into actually being angry, which was what she supposedly didn't want to begin with.

-Exactly. She knew i was mad..but when we got in the club, I was willing to let it go and just have fun. Meanwhile, she was nagging me with those questions and being borderline TOO affectionate-trying to make out with me all the time, looking at me to see my reactions etc.

Add to the mix the FB. When she saw you with the FB, her radar went off that you had fvcked that girl. No matter how you tried to act otherwise, women can smell it. This just fed into her state of insecurity and in her mind, she began to worry that you might re-hook up with FB in order to get back at her somehow.

-Yup. That radar is uncanny. What bothered me was I saw through her insecurities, yet she's too fukking proud to admit that it bothered her and thats why she all of a sudden became "distant" and nailing me more with those ridiculous accusations that I was looking at her weirdly. She's nuts. I don't think that she felt she was worried about me hookign up with her again though. I mean, its POSSIBLE, but HOW FUKKED UP CAN A GIRLS MIND GET? All we were doing was having a little scuffle up to that point. If you remembver I wrote a whiny post about how I was bothered because I felt that my gf didnt trust me. Well, maybe now you know why it bothered me. I think deep down she thinks I'm a player (because I was before we hooked up, but I'm super faithful) and she knows I love sex and that a lot of girls dig me. Whatver.

Good. You did a smart thing here. I've been in a couple LTRs and this is the best way to avoid drama. She knew you'd been fvcking that girl, and she probably knew you were lying, but she just wanted assurance anyways, even if she knew it was a lie. Women are like that. They need bullshyt assurance from time to time. Always avoid drama any way you can.

-Its funny you said that, because I almost got caught in the lie. The funny things was, she didnt pursue it to trap me and admit to it. She kind of accepted. Deep down I knew she thought I was full of shyt..it's all very true.

That whole phone call thing was weird. It makes me wonder if she's actually 16, rather than 19. Again, this was another attempt to stir the pot. She subconsciously wanted to keep fighting with you, so she allowed the phone call to happen because she knew it would piss you off.

-This was what I was wondering. My girls personality is such that shes very sweet, nice, and hence doesnt really like pissing ppl off. She gets hurt when she finds somebody doesnt like her. I also find her to be not prime "game playing type" (although maybe this whole experience disproves that point..shytttt.) I find shes the type who doesnt really know how to say "no". I heard her gf on the other side of the phone..she was yapping away like there was no tomorrow, and all the while I *feel* my girl was just way too passive to tell her friend to fukk off for the night. I could be wrong, and it doesnt make it right, but I rather her be passive than a fukkin worthless drama queen.

Remember the little cousin tugging at your pantleg for attention--this was just another one of those instances.

-Or, you could be right. Ill keep it in mind.

So of course things blew up the way she wanted them to. You left. Good. That's what you should have done. Removing yourself from the situation was smart because she deserves to be punished for this bad behavior.

-Of course. Not only was I drunk, peeved from the whole night because of her, but now I had total blueballs. All the while she didnt make any effort to get things started again. She thought she had done nothing wrong. The whole night. I had enough.

"you really know hot make a girl feel CHEAP!"

Never respond to statements like this. This was just a desperate attempt for her to piss you off so you and her could have some more "healthy relationship fights". Notice it had nothing to do with the situation at all. She's the one who was disrespecting you by taking a fvcking phone call while you were fvcking. How would she have responded had you taken a phone call from a buddy and chatted about cars?

-Her last statement before I got the helllll out of dodge was pure jargon. She was desperate for something, and I knew it.

From here on:

1. Do NOT apologize. ONLY apologize when you've done something wrong. Believe me, I had a gf who loved to stir the shyt, and I learned that apologizing for something I didn't do made her lose respect for me. Hold your ground and explain to her calmly what SHE did wrong and that SHE needs to have an attitude adjustment.

-Problem. She's so stubborn and adamant about her opinions, it drives me up the fukkin wall. Sometimes I talk to her, and I guess she gets the vibe that I'm being patronizing, and then all of a sudden, everything I say is wrong and she's right. How the fukk are u supposed to explain the "truth"(because I know Im able to leave my ego aside when I know I'm in the wrong) when she's not even willing to entertain the possibility of an alternative point of view? I know how she'll be. Im going to be talking and shes goign to interrupt me and claim she either did things she never did or never did things she of course did. Its very frustrating. But I'll get through it. But attitude adjustment? I mean, how is that really possible. Am I not essentially telling her to get over her insecurities, grow up a little, or else I'm out of there? I'm not one for ultimatuems either..I think they're so...cheap.

2. Do not get into yelling matches with her. Have you witnessed the flame wars that happen online? Arguing with a woman is the same way. She will try anything she can to blindside you with rediculous statements that have nothing to do with the debate or her bad behavior ("you really know hot make a girl feel CHEAP!"). Women will do this when they know they are wrong.

-I'm prepared for this.


Make sure you keep the argument on the topic of her mis-behavior, make your points in a calm, low voice (seduction), and be scientific about it. Do not let her hijack the argument. She will try.

-For sure. I wanto be able to do this without being patronizing though, which i admit I sometimes have the tendency to do. I know she won't repect my arguments if I'm trying to shove them down her throat.
Jake

Jake, thanks for replying. My replies are in the quotes next to the hyphens.

 

[seulaxplaya]

what I would have done

Considering your post was long I will talk about what I remember.

Her being late:

I would have just gone out without her. Called up a few people and go. When she would call I would have said well I am here at the club. Give me a call if you decide to show up.
Most likely shell be pissed but trust me she wont be late next time. Cuz she knows your not waiting.

Introducing your FB:
Good job introducing them. I have this thing where I dont point out to other girls who I screw around with. When she asked if we hooked up. Hooked up could be lots of things. Could mean sex, dates you know stuff like that. You could have said yeah we hooked up a couple times. We went here and there bla bla. NOt saying you had sex with her is key. Girls hate knowing you were with other women. Makes them feel dirty and cheap. Cuz in their mind they will be talked about much like the way you are talking about this person.

Her asking you why your looking at her weird:

Should have had some fun with this one. Could have said. IM looking at that huge ass pimple on your forehead and I am so tempted to just pop it. Can I? Haha that is so funny, She will get insecure and goto the bathroom and that will buy ya some free time. IF you dont like the funny approach just be like well babe your dancing right in front of me and so I have no choice but to look at ya. The lights must have an effect on my face because your looking at me weird too. Another answer could be "What you dont like me looking at ya weird, would ya rather have me look at another chick weird, maybe she will appreciate my eye contact."

Arguing in bed:

I would not have even brought it up.

Her answering the phone:
Dont let any chick ever answer the phone. If its important you will know. cell phones will be going off and you should hang up the first time and if its all that of importance they will call right back. Her talking on the phone must have meant she was just givin ya the azz cuz u were mad and she wasnt into it. While she was on the phone you should have been doin things to her to keep her interest. From your story it seemed u just laid there.


Thats pretty much everything and you probably wont even read this so I just wasted alot of time. lol

 

[Jake Steed]

I would have flipped her around so that she was either missionary or doggy and then I would have fvcked her really hard up the bed until her head was LITERALLY banging against the headboard (or wall) and she would have to either explain to the caller wtf that sound is or get off the phone.--prosemont

Hilarious. This is a great idea.

JB, I'm sorry to say but until you are dating women in the mid 20's range (my age range), you are going to have to deal with stuff like this from time to time. Young girls have so much bullshyt running through their heads. Things will mellow out when your girls get older, but unfortunately they still throw you a curve ball from time to time.

Reading over your responses, it sounds like you know your girl as well as you can. About the phone call, perhaps she DID just stay on the phone because she is too passive. That's a possibility. What I find weird about her is that you say she's passive, but at the same time, she's hard headed and will drive you up the wall with the arguments.

I'm not much into bullshyt psychological terminology, but sounds to me like your girl might be passive aggressive. In case you don't know what that means, it's when a person has a problem with you and you ask them what's wrong and they say something like "Oh, nothing's wrong....just....*sigh*it's weird how you abandoned me yesterday when you were late. Oh, nevermind, it's nothing." And then later all her resentment, comes out in some other form, like she freaks out when you don't rinse off a dish before putting it in the washer.

I don't mean that your girl's clinically insane or anything. I'm still convinced she's just a typical female. But females typically are passive aggressive in nature to some degree. Just something to keep in mind when you're dealing with her.

Regarding arguing with her--when you know you have done nothing wrong, you MUST stand your ground. My ex was hard headed, just like yours. In two years, I probably got 3 genuine "I'm sorry"'s from her when she fukked up. Trust me, I deserved a lot more. She HATED apoligizing.

The way I would handle her was I would always remain calm and never let her get me upset. I would logically point out why she was wrong in a calm voice and I would refuse to apologize unless I really had done something wrong. If she continued to try to fight with me, I would tell her I wasn't going to talk to her and I would ignore her for as long as it took for her to change her attitude. Every time she would eventually return to my lap like a kitty cat.

When you are dealing with immature girls, sometimes you HAVE to treat them like they want to be treated. If she's acting like a child, she WANTS to be treated like a child.

One last thing, don't stress about this fight. It's nothing. Sometimes women (subconsciously) create fights so you and she can go through this process together--of fighting and making up. They think it proves how strong your relationship is when you can go through something together and work through it. Even if she's not a "drama queen" she will subconsciously do this shyt from time to time in order to advance the relationship. The important thing for you to do is not let yourself get shaken up by it.

Jake

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

JB, from what I gathered from your post the most important thing was not the fact that she was constantly questioning you, rather I see that your girl disrespected you twice and seems to take you for granted as if she has you wrapped around her finger. She had you waiting nearly 2 hours to go to the club and then talks on the phone for 5 minutes while performing an intimate act. Huh? Do you see this? She has the attitude that she can get away with such inconsideration witout suffering any consequences.

Also she knew that any guy would be upset if his girl had him waiting for her and trying to control his time - so when she saw you with HB at the club she was worry because she knows that men, in their anger, are more bold in their actions and feel more justified to chase another woman if his current beau is disrespecting him and being inconsiderate. She felt vulnerable (in your pursuit of other women)....because of your current perceived attitude based on her rudeness.

Also this could be indicators of boredom and lack of exctement in a relationship. Would she have done the two actions listed above a few months ago?

 

[jbbrain]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
JB, from what I gathered from your post the most important thing was not the fact that she was constantly questioning you, rather I see that your girl disrespected you twice and seems to take you for granted as if she has you wrapped around her finger. She had you waiting nearly 2 hours to go to the club and then talks on the phone for 5 minutes while performing an intimate act. Huh? Do you see this? She has the attitude that she can get away with such inconsideration witout suffering any consequences.

Also she knew that any guy would be upset if his girl had him waiting for her and trying to control his time - so when she saw you with HB at the club she was worry because she knows that men, in their anger, are more bold in their actions and feel more justified to chase another woman if his current beau is disrespecting him and being inconsiderate. She felt vulnerable (in your pursuit of other women)....because of your current perceived attitude based on her rudeness.

Also this could be indicators of boredom and lack of exctement in a relationship. Would she have done the two actions listed above a few months ago?

Puerto Rican-sorry it took so long to answer you. In all honesty, this whole drama became a non issue for me. We talked it over and for now, it is resolved. But I'll still address some of your concerns. First, her being late, it was closer to an hour than 2 hours (I donyt know what I wrote) At the same time, she knew I was with a friend, and so I was having a good time anyways. She was waiting on her friends the whole time to get going. When I let her know how I thought she fvcked up-she was confused, because oin her mind our rendez vous was not so set in stone. She told me that if I was waiting for her, I should have called her and she would have gotten ready at my place instead. In the end, it was a lot of misunderstanding, but I'm confident she knows not to be late again, less there be a good excuse.

Now, the phone call. Yeah, what can I say? It was disrespectful. She compltely agreed to that and she apologized. She said her friend was flipping out and rambling drunk and that she tried to calm her down the whole time (because she cut herself and according to the friend, there was "blood everywhere". Ha. I let my gf know I'm compassionate to her friend's health and state of being but when its a simple cut that can be remedied through nothing short of a bandaid..enough's enough. She said she really didnt know what to do. I told her what I would have done if it was my friend: Tell the azzhole to suck it up and go to bed and that id call him in the morning.

And your last paragraph-yeah, you nailed it. Thst what happened and tahts what everybody else mentioned as well. Her actions were insecurity driven and this was only amplified when she saw me with my old FB-All because I called her on her shyt at the beginning of the night and let her know I wouldn't tolerate BS like that from her again.

So far, so good.