Help going from friend to boyfriend

[Newbie01]

So I met this chick in one of my classes (college) about 2 months ago and we've pretty much become friends. We've study together been to a concert together, rented movies ect. Right now I think she's interested in me in more than just being a friend (not %100 sure of course). I find her attractive and would like to start 'officially' going out. My question is, whats the best way to do this? I'm not really the agressive type and haven't really tried to make any moves on her or really talked to her in much of a romantic way. Thanks in advance.

 

[Starman]

you sound like you are on the right path, especially making a new screen name to ask this question.

What you want to do, is help her with all her homework, carry her books, take an active interest ina ll the guys she has been porking and fantasizing about, listen to her problems about her cats dandruff problem, and join the girls when they get together and talk about douching, maxipads, and birth control..

but whatever you do!!!! DONt EVER make it blatently obvious that you are flirting with her!! NEVER hit on her!! and if she ever accidently brushes against your hands or skin..pull away like it was poison ivy!

and NEVER try to touch or kiss her!! make sure she thinks all you are interested in is STUDYING or "getting to know her"

This is a great Formula for success!! and its worked for people like ANthony Michael Hall in Many movies!

cheers! Let me know if you need further advice

 

[Big Pappy]

Starman,

That was, without question, the funniest advice I've ever read!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

should have started approach 2 months ago - now she sees u as a friend - much harder to change her vision - may not b hopeless - get a surge of testosterone and tell her that u r a man and that she is a woman and that it is only natural for us to bond romantically - if she does not say "YES" emphatically - then move on - never become daily/weekly/monthly friends with a chick unless she introduces u to other potential victims, i mean, targets of opportunity.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

if u were attracted to her two months ago y were u denying your masculinity by avoiding to do that which is your divine duty.
u were silently and unknowingly stalking her - she probably already knows this - that u like her - hopefully she doesnt see your passive behavior as a weakness but as patience or shyness - some women dont mind that if they really like u - and since she has no boyfriend maybe she has been saving herself for u - have u ever considered that?

 

[JohnJones]

Make a study date, bring some beer to liven it up. Joke with her, flirt with her, then kiss her. If she wants you to, she'll make it really obvious.

If she doesn't, she'll make that obvious too

 

[Jay_VCU]

I kinda have the same situation. Thing is, I start school or whatever, get a bunch of numbers. But I had no cash, so I didn't date any of them. Now I have a bunch of female friends. I'm C&F with all of them, but there are three I would be interested in dating. I need some real advice that does not include alcohol. LOL.

 

[WestCoaster]

Good article on getting out of the friendship zone

As always, my posts are read the articles on this site before going to the message board for help. You'll get some good help here, but some funny comments (Starman's is a classic) and some pop-offs, and a lot of ill-advised stuff.

Read "Getting out of the Friendship Zone" either in articles or Hall of Fame from the front page, I can't remember.

Basically you can do this. You have to flirt, be ****y and funny, a challenge, and don't every let a retreat or pull-back from a woman visibly phase you. When she retreats, get a date with another woman pronto and she'll come running back faster than Marion Jones.

 

[sAxyguy83]

I think one of the real questions you need to ask is "How much do I care about this friendship, and how much do I want to become more than friends?" - Possibly one of the toughest feats to pull off is getting out of the "friend zone" without destroying the friendship. The way it happened for me and my gf was that I started inviting her to all the random social get-togethers with my circle of friends. Now, she wasn't very big on the kinds of stuff we did (we're gamers), but she started coming to the gatherings anyway, sometimes even w/o me asking her. It wasn't long after that that we became a couple.

My point is, try inviting her to any social gathering or event you go to, no matter how small or insignificant. That way, worst case, you'll become closer friends. Also try intentionally exhibiting the normally subconscious signs of attraction, "accidentally" ending up in some minor physical contact (your hand and hers slightly touching, or something like that) and seeing if she breaks away. If she responds well, ask her to join you for a meal.

 

[J2K]

sAxyguy83 has some good advice. I'm actually in the same situation and pondering the idea of doing what he said. Another thing I just realize is that, true she might be a great friend, but who are you kidding when you say that as you've grown to liking her that you haven't thought of getting in her pants. All men want to get in girls pants that they are attracted to, simple as that--women even know this too. You're gonna have to do what I'm about to do, just grab your balls and do something about it. I'm sick of sitting around and waiting for something to happen, and I'm sure you are too. So how 'bout we get off our asses and try to make something happen. What's the worst that can happen? Two months ago you didn't know the girl. I'm sure when you first met her you probably didn't say, "Wow, this is a cool girl, maybe she could cry all of her problems to me, we could get our nails done together, go drink some beer and watch sports with her friends." You probably said, "Damn, I want to get in this girl's pants." Two months ago you didn't even know the girl, and unless you said the first option that I presented, I really doubt you'd regret losing her over something that MEN are supposed to do--make advances. I bet you probably think about what you should do a lot. Well, quit thinking and do it. I'll tell you one thing though, the next time I talk to her, or whatever, I AM NOT gonna be the same ole' ****head that I have been. Do the same.

 

[Newbie01]

Wow, there's been some really good advice here. J2K, your exactly right. I know what I need to do, but I've just been too much of a ***** and too fearful. It's been a block in my life for a while and your advice is great encouragement. I need to go in with the mindset that she is expecting me to make a move on her-that's what guys do, right? So it's time for me to stop being a pansy and step up to the plate.

I'm going to ask her to do something on fri. night and then make a move like put my arm around her or hold her hand. Does that sound good (would she get the msg?) or should I be more direct?
Thanks again for the advice it really does help.

 

[J2K]

Newbie, don't punk out again, whatever you do. Today, a couple hours after I read what sAxy said, the oportunity presented itself for me to ask the girl that I had been friends with for about two months to ask her to do something less subtle than a date. We are at college about five hours away from our hometown, in a different state (we went to HS together, but never socialized), and I have a camp about 1.5 hrs from here. My family is coming over for a "county fair" type deal and I had invited her to come a few days ago when we were both drunk. Well today, she asked what I was doing this weekend, I said I was going up to my camp, and I said that she should come too. She said she was planning coming with me. Now, probably no bang-bang will be going on this weekend because my parents and younger brothers are all staying in the same camp, but I figure it's a good oportunity to show that I'm interested, and from her coming I also figure that she's pretty interested. Basically, in summary, what I'm saying is, I was nervous when it came up but I said to myself, "What are Newbie and I gonna' do? Be pussies and punk out again?" So I pretty much grabed my balls, realized the worst that can happen is she says no. She might get mad, but if she does, screw her and find someone else get with. Luckily it worked out just as I had hoped, and I look for this weekend to be a good one.

 

[ShortyBrown]

Can we say Multiple Personality Disorder children?

Starman-whatever you got him on, up the dosage.

 

[Newbie01]

We'll we're going out to city walk Fri. night (place w/ resturants, shops, ect.) so I'm thinking I should just go for a kiss when the time is right? That the best thing to do now under my circumstances?