Headache from social stress

[anonymous12345]

These days I have headaches from romantic talking/dating. It’s during the interactions though I don’t notice it so much then for natural reasons, and primarily afterwards, can be several hours or even the day after. It is typically thoughts and worries about the interactions.

I no longer have bodily manifestations such as stomach problems or nervous body language, but it do shut down my reproduction system, psychologically and physically.

It takes a long time to get rid of; a long hot shower, working out, figuring out some way to rest, etc. But I do get rid of it that way. I get morning wood, meaning relaxing solves this.

I’d say it means I’m uncomfortable in these situations, I feel threatened somehow.

I think this will solve itself over time, as I get more comfortable. Or? Anyone with similar experiences or insights?

 

[Young OG]

These days I have headaches from romantic talking/dating. It’s during the interactions though I don’t notice it so much then for natural reasons, and primarily afterwards, can be several hours or even the day after. It is typically thoughts and worries about the interactions.

I no longer have bodily manifestations such as stomach problems or nervous body language, but it do shut down my reproduction system, psychologically and physically.

It takes a long time to get rid of; a long hot shower, working out, figuring out some way to rest, etc. But I do get rid of it that way. I get morning wood, meaning relaxing solves this.

I’d say it means I’m uncomfortable in these situations, I feel threatened somehow.

I think this will solve itself over time, as I get more comfortable. Or? Anyone with similar experiences or insights?

Hopefully it will solve itself over time. Keep working out, eating well, try to mediate, and take ashwaganda.

It's most likely stress and anxiety. If left untreated, it can cause health problems. If you can't solve this with the above, then I would recommend considering being put on Lexapro.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I no longer have bodily manifestations such as stomach problems or nervous body language, but it do shut down my reproduction system, psychologically and physically.

Can u elaborate on how did u dealt with the stomach problems? I went trough some work stress back in August 2020 and now Im stuck with a bunch of stomach noises, even when Im not stressed.

 

[anonymous12345]

First, I think there's a difference between a real threat and a perceived/phoney one. The latter could have been caused by a previous real threat but now is an irrelevant condition/response (think PTSD).

One can get better at dealing with real stressors. For instance, if you're performing music/doing a presentation you can react to that in a different way, by having experience or mastering the situation. So, "levelling up" or lowering the bar is one way to reduce that kind of stress. I find nothing wrong with turning something more easy, precisely because of the advantages of having joy, not being stressed, etc. Many "ambitious" people are pretty messed up, one has to decide what kind of life one wants.

I play/study jazz piano and took for that reason a course in Alexander technique:

Alexander Technique - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

One can question it a lot, but the teacher told me one thing that was worth it all: to breath with your stomach. This is a classic idea for dealing with stress, it activates your parasympathetic nervous system. Previously, I was very tense, all the time walking around with tensed abs. Once I started relaxing that was scary because I felt vulnerable, and I automatically tensed them over and over again. I think it took about a month of fighting this automatic response by relaxing, but now it's good. In stress situations (for me, think oneitis or HB or so) I consciously breath/relax with my stomach to fight that.

I had general anxiety years ago but took a course in transcendental meditation (TM), which solved that. Absolutely great. It's essentially about getting control over your thoughts, and I didn't even realise I didn't have. Again, this required practice, no results over night. TM has various religious/BS elements, but I picked the psychological aspects, ditched all that bs about energy fields, etc. Mindfulness is similar meditation, that might be an alternative. TM is standardised, might be there's a course in your city.