HB with ugly BF

[becker]

Wow, I just met the BF of this one girl I know who is totally hot. The guy was not too good looking, and he seemed a bit AFC. If anything, their relationship is totally controlled by this girl, because it seems like she can do 10 times better as far as looks. This girl is one of those girls who is sort of insecure and probably doesn't know how hot she really is. That's why she has a BF like that. Maybe this guy is just a smoother talker than it seemed when I spoke to him, but I doubt it from the impression that I got from meeting him.

I don't know what this demonstrates, but all I know is that there's something wrong with this picture. I should just swoop in and take this girl away. I also met her parents, and they were very nice. I think I can get along well with the dad because we have the same interests. I can also sweet talk the mom. I'm good with parents for some reason; I can always get them to like me. Don't know if that's exactly a good thing since most girls don't always agree with their parents, but if anything, I can be friends with this girl, who can introduce me to more girls like her, and I can play the "friends" game with her while getting her to set me up with her friends. It's also easier to be in the girl's life without asking her on a date if you become good friends with the parents.

I have found that one technique that seems to work well is when I have a girl "friend" and I just insist that I'm just looking to stay single and not get involved, and she keeps wanting to set me up, but I refuse, which makes her try even harder. Sometimes, they even end up being the ones that I end up with. Not an intentional thing, it's just something discovered by accident.

 

[dontmindme]

what's the financial status of the guy? maybe he's some sort of half-famous holly wood producer?

 

[oskiano]

Not all women put great looks first. With a lot of them, it is more about how the guy makes them feel. Now, assuming the guy isn't a troll, he may be good in bed, understand how to escalate a situation to bring out certain emotions (i.e. attraction, desire, etc.) in this woman.

Or maybe not.

There is NOTHING more non-DJ than thinking it's all about how you look.

"I don't know what this demonstrates, but all I know is that there's something wrong with this picture. I should just swoop in and take this girl away."

Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it's your attitude towards it. Maybe you see something there. Why dwell on one girl who's already with a guy?

Do you see the bigger picture here?

 

[Grey Fox]

Well one's mental image has something to do with it. Think your man and you will act like the man. Which means your going to be ****y and make women feel insecure cause you treat them like you treat anyone else. If this one dude is spineless, show they girl your not, call her out on some stuff in ****y and funny way, and make it difficult for her flirting to catch your interest. There's a decent chance you might land her or one of her friends you were talking about.

 

[Starman]

" I don't know what this demonstrates, but all I know is that there's something wrong with this picture. I should just swoop in and take this girl away. I also met her parents, and they were very nice. I think I can get along well with the dad because we have the same interests. I can also sweet talk the mom."


Am I missing something here? You are already planning your wedding with this girl and your future in-laws..when you havent had 1 date with her?

Why do you place so great of weight on looks? Why?

Ill Tell you

Because you think women and men think the same way as you do.

Men are visual

Women are emotional

Sure women would like the complete package ina guy (looks, money, sensitivity, confidence)

But "The whole package" is like 1 in a million..and women realize this

So they comprimise

 

[Sojourner]

Girls up to the age of 25 or so have many options (bargaining chips). Their youth, good looks and lack of baggage attract most males. Being in demand, these girls would go for good looking males to have fun with (sow their wild oats just like guys do).

As females grow older, their looks fade and they put on the weight. Their biological clock ticks louder. They are now more interested in getting married, settling down, making babies, seeing their kids grow up and procreate, and finally retiring to their Golden Years and die.

Young women are into good looking guys. Older women look for guys with substance; a good looking dude is an added bonus. Priorities change with a woman's age.

 

[becker]

Starman, I understand what you're saying, and I'm trying not to say that looks are everything, but it's just so weird how sometimes you see some people together who just don't seem that attractive as a couple. Usually, it's the good looking girl with an ugly guy in my experience. I think that despite all the talk about how girls are attracted emotionally, looks play some role. I think that what they have working against them is that all girls have some level of insecurity. That's the wild card.

The guy here graduated from college and he started working for a consulting firm, and was laid off because the corporation (which was pretty well known) was not doing well financially. He owns a condo, so perhaps he's not totally dirt poor. Anyways, this girl is 25, and seems like she's a little bit immature sometimes socially, but at the same time very responsible. It must be understood that this girl makes that girl who got dumped on the Bachelor last night look butt ugly, while the guy looks and sort of acts like a loser. I've also gotten to meet some husbands of girls I know (they're relatively young, but married) and boy, talk about settling for seemingly sloppy seconds. These girls are totally gorgeous and they're with some pretty mediocre looking guys.

I guess what this might show is that anyone out there who might feel intimidated next time you see a good looking woman, don't hesitate to just go up to her and start chatting. As long as you keep in mind that they're probably a little insecure, and then try to play on that insecurity a little to shift things in your favor, you'll do fine.

Oh, and as for planning my wedding with this girl, I'm certainly not doing that, and I didn't mean to even imply that. My point was that it's a great strategy to get closer to a girl sometimes by getting her parents to like you. However, the caveat here is to make sure that the girl and her mom are very close. Getting closer to the parents also gives you a good reason to stop by unexpectedly and it's only a bonus if you have something in common with the father or even the mother since it will bring them on your side by giving them something to talk to their daughter about when the subject of "you" ever comes up between the parents and the daughter. If you play your cards right, they will help the daughter associate good things with you. This works better if you are viewed as sort of a "friend" of the family, but not like the girl's best friend. Try not to get attached to the girl either, just play the whole "I am innocent and not into girls or commitments" game. Worked wonders for George Clooney.

Furthermore, this also might even help a person get a girl with a BF if the girl is in a bad relationship or something and is on the verge of breakup and you know it. This will help push them over the edge. If the girl is close with her mom, the mom might know some of the bad things the boy has done, but you're the other guy in the girl's life, who they might compare the BF to, and if they only have good things to associate with you, then it makes the BF seem even less attractive.

Anyways, just a little theory I've been experimenting with to see what will happen.

 

[BGMan]

Originally posted by becker
I guess what this might show is that anyone out there who might feel intimidated next time you see a good looking woman, don't hesitate to just go up to her and start chatting.

Exactly. It is for this exact reason I pursue women I find attractive, and NEVER consider if she's "out of my league". That excuse is nothing but a cop-out or sour-grapes attitude that AFCs have.

BGMan

 

[Starman]

" Oh, and as for planning my wedding with this girl, I'm certainly not doing that, and I didn't mean to even imply that. My point was that it's a great strategy to get closer to a girl sometimes by getting her parents to like you."

hehe..My take was .. based on the DJ philosophy..the parents wont like you..and that makes the girl like you even more (romeo/juliet complex)

but this is all in the early stages of romance..if you are in the relationship deep enough..you should definitely work the parents

 

[mahon83050]

BG man brought up a good point. Sometimes when I think a chick is "out of my league" I think of all the below-average looking guys I have seen with above average looking women. No, this is not seen once in a blue moon, but more often that one would think. I hardly ever, ever see an above average looking guy with a below-average looking woman..very rarely do I see it.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by Starman
" Oh, and as for planning my wedding with this girl, I'm certainly not doing that, and I didn't mean to even imply that. My point was that it's a great strategy to get closer to a girl sometimes by getting her parents to like you."

hehe..My take was .. based on the DJ philosophy..the parents wont like you..and that makes the girl like you even more (romeo/juliet complex)

but this is all in the early stages of romance..if you are in the relationship deep enough..you should definitely work the parents

That's definitely the other angle that I've considered, but the problem with that is that it's that much tougher to get the girl if the parents don't like you, to the point that even after you get her, you'll still have to go through some crap with the parents. It always seems better to make more friends than enemies. Just do it in a way that you can please both sides. Then you're set. I find that sometimes the hardest part to getting to know a girl outside of some school or bar context is actually being around her enough so that she will start to like you. You can only get so far on phone conversations. To me, I have an easier time when I'm face-to-face with a girl.

BTW, did anyone catch the finale to Mr. Personality? The girl chose the AFC silver mask millionaire guy over the more DJ-like hypnosis player. Hard to determine what to make of this, but I think that the other guy just played the game too seriously and got worked. Boy, that girl has an amazing body.