HB only sees me as a friend after one date, should I?

[fmfan08]

Went on a date with this really nice girl, she was a bit slimmer in her photos but overall great personality. I got all the signs from her like touching, etc but when she dropped me off after the date she gave me the cheek turn when I went to kiss her so expected rejection.

After the date she text me "Got back home fine thanks Yeh it was a fun night, thanks for planning it! xx"

I thought maybe I was overthinking it so the next day I asked her out expecting rejection, of course I did and she said:

"Morning! Sorry for the late reply! Was in town all of yesterday..... I had a really good time on the date but don't think for me it would be anything more then friendship. Your lovely and your a good looking guy, to be honest you remind me so much of my best lad mate from uni! I'd really like it if you wanted to be friends but understand if you don't xx"

I'm also guessing it's because we're too different as well, I don't drive, she does, I live with parents, she doesn't, she has the career she wants, I don't, she travels a lot on holidays, I don't, she goes to festivals/gigs, I don't.

Now I've been wondering whether to be friends with her if it actually meant hanging out with her because she was really good to talk to and reminded me of a girl I was best friends with back in college. We share interests like photography too and I don't want have friends who I go out with who would want to take a camera out, etc.

But I'm also wondering if this could be used to my advantage and she introduces me to girls in her social circle too, etc.

It was only one date and I hold no attachment so I could see it working as a friendship, but would like a second opinion? She sent this a day ago and I've been tossing between agreeing to be friends or just leaving it and forgetting it, maybe down the line reach out and be friends

 

[lizardking82]

Does anyone ever do things out of enjoyment anymore? Like, if you like hanging out with this girl, why would you even think twice of it? She is seemingly quite polite and that alone is a hard thing to find nowadays and furthermore, you guys share things you can talk about. Listen, man, sticking a penis in her is not going to make things "amazing" and "great".

If the only thing you can think of while with her is bangin' her, then you shouldn't be her friend. If you actually enjoy the convo and the person, why not?

 

[AlexKaiser]

Did you come to her because you were attracted to her, or come to her because you were looking to talk to somebody about photography and what not and the fact that you were attracted to her didn't matter? Be honest now.

If its the former, don't settle for less. You'll just drop your self-esteem as you spend time around a girl you WANT to have sex with, but can't because you got nexted. When her new BF rolls up giving her everything you wished you could, you'll be back on this forum reading about oneitis or trying to demystify her actions.

If you think the same thing WON'T happen with her friends, or you can spend time around her when jealous girls are around (that WILL try to sleep with you to get at her) then by all means, enlist her as a friend.

However, if you're going to HER for socials and talking (90% effort 10% payout), and not the other way around, just move on. Friend is a polite way of saying "please don't hate me for not wanting to ride your rod".

 

[AlexKaiser]

Does anyone ever do things out of enjoyment anymore? Like, if you like hanging out with this girl, why would you even think twice of it? She is seemingly quite polite and that alone is a hard thing to find nowadays and furthermore, you guys share things you can talk about. Listen, man, sticking a penis in her is not going to make things "amazing" and "great".

If the only thing you can think of while with her is bangin' her, then you shouldn't be her friend. If you actually enjoy the convo and the person, why not?

He might be putting her on a pedestal her with things he doesn't care all that much about. "Not only is she attractive but X, Y, and Z!" If you took the first thing away he might not even care that X,Y, and Z are there.

 

[dustmuffin]

You have limited free time. Spend it with women that actually want to **** you or doing things for self improvment. Don't give your time and attention away for free.

 

[bigneil]

She used the F word. You must walk away, and you must find a way to improve yourself so the next girl doesn't say this.

 

[greatsnake]

If she's not fulfilling your plans, you next her.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Fvck her friends and send pics of your c0ck inside there pvs..

Then peace out when she's jealous..

GG

 

[SmooveMooves]

She doesn't want to be your friend. She is rejecting you nicely. There is no way you are this socially dense.

I don't drive, she does, I live with parents, she doesn't, she has the career she wants, I don't, she travels a lot on holidays, I don't, she goes to festivals/gigs, I don't.

You sound like the antimale. Why would anyone date you? This is what I dislike about online dating. It allows guys to sit on their ass and get dates they have no buisness getting. In the past men understood they had to bring something to the table in order to be a viable dating option. Now men just put up a few selfies and cross their fingers.


You need to work on yourself before you even think about women. You live with your mom and work a shítty job you don't like. Women are the furthest of your concerns.

 

[Reykhel]

Women communicate covertly and this was simply a covert rejection.

The majority of woman cannot say the word "no", so they'll give you a wrong phone number, they'll make up an excuse, they'll
offer the let's just be friends rejection........the meaning is always in the message.

Let's just be friends not only means that you're not getting any, it usually means that......wait for it....she doesn't want to be friends. It usually
means that you showed up too needy......the fact that you called her up the very next day indicates that you were way too needy....

@SmooveMooves is right. It might sound harsh to you now, but a dose of reality is what you need......

You've been on one date with a girl and you're already weighing up whether you're comparable or not. That's thinking way into
the future. That's female thinking. You as a man need to be thinking, "I wouldn't mind getting into those panties" and that's it....

....have fun, keep it light and funny, create attraction, tease her, ball bust her, fvck her.....learn to enjoy....the moment....

otherwise your whole energy and vibe is coming off way too heavy. Even if you're desperate for a relationship....keep that to yourself........put it waaaay to the back of your mind.......waaay way to the back of your mind............it must be her idea but much later on...

You have a lot to work on with regards to your life and your life goals....

remember:
Think short term/present moment with women (for they are fickle and outside your control)
Think long term with regards to your life and your life goals...(for you are with you until the end)

 

[Trump]

I thought maybe I was overthinking it so the next day I asked her out expecting rejection, of course I did and she said:

"Morning! Sorry for the late reply! Was in town all of yesterday..... I had a really good time on the date but don't think for me it would be anything more then friendship. Your lovely and your a good looking guy, to be honest you remind me so much of my best lad mate from uni! I'd really like it if you wanted to be friends but understand if you don't xx"

Can't tell if this is true or not; I don't think any girl would be this detailed in their rejection.

But I'm also wondering if this could be used to my advantage and she introduces me to girls in her social circle too, etc.

Come on bro. A girl who told you to go to hell is going to go out of her way to introduce you to a good looking girl so you can have sex with her? Really, how are you guys able to get dates and then think like this?

It was only one date and I hold no attachment so I could see it working as a friendship, but would like a second opinion? She sent this a day ago and I've been tossing between agreeing to be friends or just leaving it and forgetting it, maybe down the line reach out and be friends

If you want go out with a girl you are attracted to, and talk about your feelings after she gets pounded by a 6'2 rich hockey player, reach out to her.

 

[devilkingx2]

Guide to deciding whether or not to be friends with a girl:

1. does she really want to be friends with you? girls often just say that to someone they never intend to speak with ever again

2. do you actually want to be friends with her/does she actually make a good friend? no point in having a friend who has nothing in common with you, never wants to hang out, wouldn't even lend you a dollar, etc. you also don't want a friend who will forget about you the moment she gets a bf/FB/whatever or otherwise won't treat you well

3. why does she want to be your friend? is she just looking for long walks to a free meal? a beta cuck to vent about her boyfriend during the day so she can fvck him silly at night? someone to hold her bags while she shops because her bf wouldn't be caught dead doing that? etc. or does she genuinely think you're a cool and interesting person who just isn't good looking enough to date but would still be cool to talk to and hang out with?

4. do you only want to be friends with her as part of some vague pipe dream to seduce her down the road?

if you've determined that you wish to be her friend via the above steps, then don't talk to her for a few weeks until you've cleared your head (read: until you've forgotten about her enough for the fire to die down so you can approach her neutrally without becoming obsessed or gaining a oneitis or falling in unrequited love or some ****). during this time if she doesn't even notice see 1, if she suspiciously only seems to want to do things with you that you'd end up paying for that is of no cost to herself see 3(dinner on you, movie tickets on you, etc.)

above all, once she is her friend, treat her like your friend. that means no special treatment, no walking on eggshells, no nothing, she fits in with da boyz or she goes home.

if she has a problem with your dank memes, video game references, sports metaphors, and general perversion, then she isn't going to be a good friend/why did she think you'd make a good friend? (likewise, if she wants free stuff out of your pocket, free attention out of your mind, free time out of your life to do **** you don't care about, then she wanted a mark, not a friend)

 

[devilkingx2]

now for a critique:

Went on a date with this really nice girl, she was a bit slimmer in her photos but overall great personality. I got all the signs from her like touching, etc but when she dropped me off after the date she gave me the cheek turn when I went to kiss her so expected rejection.

low interest, if you don't get the kiss during the first date you go ghost until she messages you, like bigneil recommends.

imo if she does kiss you(or more), that's enough of a sign of interest that you can message her first and ask her out

I thought maybe I was overthinking it so the next day I asked her out expecting rejection, of course I did and she said:

the next day is too soon unless she was just itching to see you again or the activity was time limited or something.

"Morning! Sorry for the late reply! Was in town all of yesterday..... I had a really good time on the date but don't think for me it would be anything more then friendship. Your lovely and your a good looking guy, to be honest you remind me so much of my best lad mate from uni! I'd really like it if you wanted to be friends but understand if you don't xx"

see:

1. does she really want to be friends with you? girls often just say that to someone they never intend to speak with ever again

that's what it sounds like to me. especially since you guys apparently barely know each other, why would she want to be friends with a guy she barely knows?

But I'm also wondering if this could be used to my advantage and she introduces me to girls in her social circle too, etc.

only in the 1 in 100ish chance that she truly intends to be a good friend of yours.

Went on a date with this really nice girl, she was a bit slimmer in her photos but overall great personality. I got all the signs from her like touching, etc

wait a second... did you meet her online?

aren't 90% of online girls desperate and slvtty? the fact that she didn't bang you in the backseat of the car before you even got to the date location can probably be taken as proof that she hates you lmao

 

[devilkingx2]

She doesn't want to be your friend. She is rejecting you nicely. There is no way you are this socially dense.



You sound like the antimale. Why would anyone date you? This is what I dislike about online dating. It allows guys to sit on their ass and get dates they have no buisness getting. In the past men understood they had to bring something to the table in order to be a viable dating option. Now men just put up a few selfies and cross their fingers.


You need to work on yourself before you even think about women. You live with your mom and work a shítty job you don't like. Women are the furthest of your concerns.

to be fair, it's totally possible that he's good looking and charismatic

Come on bro. A girl who told you to go to hell is going to go out of her way to introduce you to a good looking girl so you can have sex with her? Really, how are you guys able to get dates and then think like this?

this is also a pretty good point, if she doesn't want to fvck you herself she probably wouldn't want to subject anyone she actually likes to what she'd perceive as the cruel fate of having to fvck you