Having Trouble Applying Kino

[Paprika]

My female lab partner and I are working on a college chemistry experiment. There's some major flirting going on. Everything is good (eg. ****y/funny). But I'm having a hard time applying kino. It just seems like it wouldn't feel "right". It feels awkward.

So I've been doing things like subtly moving into her personal space every now and then. For example, she would be adjusting a knob on an amplifier, and I would reach over her arms to use the computer mouse--little things like that. But my instincts tell me that if I were to at this point caress her arm, for example, she would be turned off. I think it's too soon for that. Does anybody disagree?

Anyone ever feel awkward about kino? What did you do to overcome it?

 

[MIKED777]

build more rapport with her through interests, values, dreams, mirror bl, voice tone, pitch , pace . build up stronger rapport and then you touching her shouler will seem more smoother.


try it it works

 

[eoin2000]

A good way to start off is when you meet her, place your hand lightly on her elbow or the small of her back (combined with a real smile). If you try something more overt, you will probably fluff it due to nervousness and she will not like that at all.

Leaning over her is not really that direct or purposful. Neither is maneuvering yourself into her personal space. Start small, my friend, and it will get easier with time.

To answer your question: Yes, i have felt awkward. Still do, alot of the time. It DOES get easier, though. Maybe the setting isnt really the ideal place for it anyway? Ever ask her to go for a coffee after lab work is over? Ya know, to, eh, discuss the project....and stuff...

 

[Wiesman44]

If you don't initiate kino right from the start of meeting her, or at least a date, or in your case, a class later, it just doesnt have the same effect.

The point in kino is not just for her to feel comfortable around you, but to enjoy your touching, enjoy your presence. By out of the blue starting to initiate kino after being with her for a whole semester, I don't think it'd do any good.

Note: don't carass her arm out of the blue. Girls aren't dumb. They know your intentions. Now if you're in a social setting this is different. I'd reccommend some good kinoing. But this is chemistry lab man.

If you feel awkward doing kino, you're not in the right atmosphere. It should all flow nicely. Chat her up, speak confidently get her laughing, then kino her.

You're doing this: do chemistry experiment, elicit no value, sneak in some kino out of the blue, finish experiment, go home. What do u expect to accomplish ? Do you expect her to like you ?

 

[Reed247]

That is easy

You say "let me show you this" and put your hand behind her back lightly.

Open the door for her, put your hand behind her back touching her softly.

Touch her hair, tell her it is so soft. (touch it like you are examining a fine piece of silk, like an observational comment).

easy to do

 

[Paprika]

Originally posted by Wiesman44
By out of the blue starting to initiate kino after being with her for a whole semester, I don't think it'd do any good.

You're doing this: do chemistry experiment, elicit no value, sneak in some kino out of the blue, finish experiment, go home. What do u expect to accomplish ? Do you expect her to like you ?

I should've mentioned that she and I have only met twice so far to work on the lab together. And I think the lab environment *could* be conducive to kino. I mean, we're all alone, and the last time we met we worked into the night.

I've been trying to elicit her values and what not, but it just feels forced and abrupt. There is a good rapport going on here, but I know I've got to slowly take it farther, otherwise she'll soon lose interest. I'll admit that I still get nervous, even though I've done this type of thing many times before. I was a little more confident going into the lab because she was already showing a very high interest level before we even started.

It just seems like this one should be an easy "win", but my anxiety is keeping me from executing.