Having Standards And Not Being So Desperate That You'll Date Anybody

[Dark Horse]

So I think one problem for me is that I have a tendency to be desperate for a relationship that I'm willing to ignore red flags or major incompatibilities. Being a 27 year old virgin with no girlfriend doesn't help my case and it's a big reason why I am so desperate and perhaps have an anxious attachment style.

For instance, I met up with this girl several times and acted desperate and needy for her attention despite having major incompatibilities. Here is a list of red flags she possessed.

- She described herself as crazy and even the person setting us up warned me that she was crazy.
- Smokes while I don't smoke.
- Frequent marijuana use and doesn't surprise me if she does other hard drugs, since she mentioned being in a club which advocates for legal drug use. I don't do drugs of any kind.
- Likes going out a lot and getting "wasted". I rarely go to bars and have never been major drunk in my life.
- Flat out admits to me during our meetup that she likes to go to bars and make out with random strangers, flash them, and smoke in the bathroom.
- Didn't dress up for our meetup
- Looking for something more casual and short-term while i'm looking for a relationship.


I should have stopped pursuing her after our first meetup; but I chased her for about a month while she kept giving me low interest signals. Why? Because I was fearful and desperate because of my romantic inexperience. She probably lost all respect for me after I pushed too hard, and I made myself appear lower value in her eyes. Because when I saw her again in real life, she didn't even acknowledge my existence while she was out hitting on other guys. I blocked her after that and will vow to never contact her ever again or try to pursue her in real life. On the bright side, at least I only wasted a month of my time with her.

What have I learned from this? It's important to have some standards and understand that not everyone is going to be right for you, even if you're a 27 year old virgin who sucks with women like I am. I'd prefer to find a girl who has the same interests and values that I do, and doesn't do drugs and her idea of "fun" isn't getting f'd up on drugs and alcohol every weekend.

Perhaps having higher standards and not being so desperate will make myself appear higher value and women will ultimately respect me more. I don't know.

 

[Willie Naylor]

What have I learned from this? It's important to have some standards and understand that not everyone is going to be right for you, even if you're a 27 year old virgin who sucks with women like I am. I'd prefer to find a girl who has the same interests and values that I do, and doesn't do drugs and her idea of "fun" isn't getting f'd up on drugs and alcohol every weekend.

How many hours per week do you spend playing video games and/or eating Corn Pops?

 

[Dark Horse]

How many hours per week do you spend playing video games and/or eating Corn Pops?

When I was younger, I used to play a lot of video games but actually, I don't play them quite as often anymore.

I am involved with several different organizations that are related to my interests. I also like to play soccer and workout as well.

I think for me, my biggest problem is my height (can't be fixed), my naturally introverted and quiet personality (can be somewhat fixed) and poor social skills (can be somewhat fixed). Also I'm desperate and don't take rejection very well.

Assuming my height was the same, maybe if I had better social skills and I wasn't so desperate (which is going to be hard for me) maybe I would of had success in my early twenties. But for one reason or another, every woman iv'e gone out with has never worked out, which shows me that there's something about me that is turning women off.

 

[2Rocky]

Work on making friends male and female. This will help your rapport with women. Go to a class or seminar or something.

You need to work on connecting emotionally with people. It is going to take more work than the group here is qualified to offer...

Dating on the Autism Spectrum: Neurotypical Partners - 94303

A neurodivergent affirming therapist shares tips on connecting with your partner when dating on the autism spectrum. Read on to learn more.

opendoorstherapy.com

 

[biggoal]

Work on making friends male and female. This will help your rapport with women. Go to a class or seminar or something.

You need to work on connecting emotionally with people. It is going to take more work than the group here is qualified to offer...

Dating on the Autism Spectrum: Neurotypical Partners - 94303

A neurodivergent affirming therapist shares tips on connecting with your partner when dating on the autism spectrum. Read on to learn more.

opendoorstherapy.com

Reminds me of high school. There was this HB 8.5 chick. She was pretty normal, except she was really shy and didn't socialize much. She honestly hardly hung out with anyone. She had female ADD which is kinda rare and troubles doing well in classes and was in a couple of the EH classes for some subjects, but the way she dressed was preppy but hardly talked to anyone and many thought she might have female autisim. I mean literally being HB 8.5 and one of the better looking girls in the entire high school and she didn't talk to many guys or girls and didn't date anyone. Not saying autistic but for sure had some minor issues. Not talking that type where they can't go to college or have a white collar job, but more reserved when socializing and avoiding people.

Someone like her should have been flooded with attention from guys but guys didn't like talking to her because they were put off by her.

 

[2Rocky]

Reminds me of high school. There was this HB 8.5 chick. She was pretty normal, except she was really shy and didn't socialize much. She honestly hardly hung out with anyone. She had female ADD which is kinda rare and troubles doing well in classes and was in a couple of the EH classes for some subjects, but the way she dressed was preppy but hardly talked to anyone and many thought she might have female autisim. I mean literally being HB 8.5 and one of the better looking girls in the entire high school and she didn't talk to many guys or girls and didn't date anyone. Not saying autistic but for sure had some minor issues. Not talking that type where they can't go to college or have a white collar job, but more reserved when socializing and avoiding people.

Someone like her should have been flooded with attention from guys but guys didn't like talking to her because they were put off by her.

The same advice goes for you bud....