Having some issues unplugging

[Evan]

So here's the story. I got involved in learning the PUA stuff in my early 20s and got a little success doing it. I was living a ****ty life where I was depressed because I had little to no success in almost anything I did. I was good at sports but not real good at anything else. I failed college and had no dating life.

So I finally broke down to the point where I wanted to change. I'm happy I didn't go the other direction and give up. I went back to school and had success and had a little but of success with women but was still beta as ****. I gained a **** load of weight from drinking and bad diet by the time I graduated. So when I graduated I got an internship in a travel agency and also joined a gym. I lost all my bad weight and had a nice body since my sports days. Women were eye ****ing me everywhere I just had no game since I was not gaming for the longest time.

Then I started growing some balls and made some more changes. I wasn't growing from my job so I quit and got a new job. I also started getting laid and was getting make outs at bars it seemed every time I went. However I was also having trouble with this because I wanted more with them and I lived my mom at the time. I was just bang and dump material. I felt like a women who gets banged and dumped. Anyways I decided enough was enough and started saving money for my own place and was going to put women in the back seat for a while.

My new job was difficult because i had different hours every day and it was physically tiring. It ****ed my sleeping up and my gym hours up. So I would end up skipping gym days sometimes and my diet began to take a toll because I was eating more from doing more physical work. I gained some fat. I still look ok but i definitely don't look as good as I did. Anyways I started reading red pill stuff from Rollo and red pill reddit. And realized so many things of it were true having some experience with women. And i got depressed from it.

I felt why am I putting all this effort into women if they are truly not worth it? I haven't gotten laid in months and no make outs. Because I truly don't care. I started fapping to porn because I was like so what who gives a ****. And eating whatever i wanted. More so I was missing the point of red pill. It's to do all this stuff because you want to. Not because it makes you more attractive.

I have been looking for women to fill my hole for my whole life and now I feel down because of that. How can I stop this behavior and just live The life I want? I want to bang girls and all that but I feel purposeless now and without direction. It feels like getting laid just doesn't do it for me as much as it used to. I don't even enjoy my job anymore because I was doing it to be more social and learn social skills. I was doing it because I knew it was making more more attractive. I have no friends around my new place and all my old friends are everything I don't want to be. I feel very stuck and need some help. Advice?

 

[mangotot]

At least you got some money now. Have you considered since you don't have mrch time p4p?

 

[The_411]

So here's the story. I got involved in learning the PUA stuff in my early 20s and got a little success doing it. I was living a ****ty life where I was depressed because I had little to no success in almost anything I did. I was good at sports but not real good at anything else. I failed college and had no dating life.

So I finally broke down to the point where I wanted to change. I'm happy I didn't go the other direction and give up. I went back to school and had success and had a little but of success with women but was still beta as ****. I gained a **** load of weight from drinking and bad diet by the time I graduated. So when I graduated I got an internship in a travel agency and also joined a gym. I lost all my bad weight and had a nice body since my sports days. Women were eye ****ing me everywhere I just had no game since I was not gaming for the longest time.

Then I started growing some balls and made some more changes. I wasn't growing from my job so I quit and got a new job. I also started getting laid and was getting make outs at bars it seemed every time I went. However I was also having trouble with this because I wanted more with them and I lived my mom at the time. I was just bang and dump material. I felt like a women who gets banged and dumped. Anyways I decided enough was enough and started saving money for my own place and was going to put women in the back seat for a while.

My new job was difficult because i had different hours every day and it was physically tiring. It ****ed my sleeping up and my gym hours up. So I would end up skipping gym days sometimes and my diet began to take a toll because I was eating more from doing more physical work. I gained some fat. I still look ok but i definitely don't look as good as I did. Anyways I started reading red pill stuff from Rollo and red pill reddit. And realized so many things of it were true having some experience with women. And i got depressed from it.

I felt why am I putting all this effort into women if they are truly not worth it? I haven't gotten laid in months and no make outs. Because I truly don't care. I started fapping to porn because I was like so what who gives a ****. And eating whatever i wanted. More so I was missing the point of red pill. It's to do all this stuff because you want to. Not because it makes you more attractive.

I have been looking for women to fill my hole for my whole life and now I feel down because of that. How can I stop this behavior and just live The life I want? I want to bang girls and all that but I feel purposeless now and without direction. It feels like getting laid just doesn't do it for me as much as it used to. I don't even enjoy my job anymore because I was doing it to be more social and learn social skills. I was doing it because I knew it was making more more attractive. I have no friends around my new place and all my old friends are everything I don't want to be. I feel very stuck and need some help. Advice?

You know when you lose something and search frantically looking for it and you don't find it and ultimately you give up for the day and become less concerned and move on and then a few days later your mom/dad/friend/whomever calls you out of the blue and tells you that they found the missing item?

That's what is happening with you. You're frantically searching for women, and your subconscious is giving off an aura of neediness to any women you approach.

Do what you want to do. You'll find if you are doing something you like and is fulfilling that women will gravitate to you. You'll be much happier and that will in turn will radiate. (I know sounds like fem babble but it's true)

So to get there you need to sit down and make some goals and be honest with yourself. The goals should have tangible steps to achieve. You also need short, intermediate, and long term goals.

Then actualize on a daily basis what it would be like to get to where you want to be. The more you think about succeeding the more likely it is you will succeed.

Doubt is nasty SOB. It will be there at all times. Having steps in place will help curb doubt but you're still going to question and you'll be anxious and concerned if you are doing the right thing.

Take stock on your day and actually think about your actions of that day and ask yourself what you could have done instead of what you did or what activities did you do that did not advance/improve you in anyway. Note that everyone needs a bit self time to screw around and take a break.

Create an exit strategy for your job. Figure out how you can extricate yourself and what you are willing to accept should you leave your job.

 

[Krueg]

Go to the DJ Bible, Read posts by Pook & Anti-Dump.

Your Welcome!

 

[Evan]

Thanks guys. Appreciate your time and help.

@mangotot

You are correct my time is limited. I work out and go to work. Don't have a set schedule like I used to working weekdays at a 9-5 job but I also hated sitting behind a desk all day. I like that I'm out and talking to people all day. It gets me past my comfort zone every day and I'm more comfortable socially which was my goal doing this. But yea my time is limited. I do go out sometimes when my schedule allows it. And I don't want this job forever. I will look for something after my year is up in this apartment.

@the411

Thanks for your long reply. I appreciate your advice. You are spot on too. I just need to think long and hard about what I want. I'm going to be in this job at least until next august because that's how long I have this apartment for. I signed a contract. Coincidentally I started feeling this way after I moved in. Maybe it's the sense of responsibility I'm resisting. Before I think I was having success with women because I truly didn't care. I moved into an apartment expecting I was going to be a ladies man but I was missing that true element of my game that was great. A true case of not giving a **** about where things went. That's why I think for me I just need to get back into a full blow plan of what I'm going to do with myself.

Take the action steps needed to making my life better. I do know that I want to travel. I know that I want to see more of the world. I also wouldn't mind going back to school and getting a better job. I can also have a better focus on my health. So those are things right away I can gear my focus on and away from women. I think women will just have to find a way into my life and not me trying to find a way into theirs. Before I was focused on my life and women but more so my life and I think when I moved into my apartment I was more focused on women. I think your post inspired me to think this. Thank you.

@krueg

Yea I see there is a lot of stuff to read on this site that I haven't gone through all of it. While I'm interested in reading it, I also have read and learned a lot about game in my past. It probably won't be too much different than what I have learned before. Although I'm also not dumb enough to disregard it. I am always down to learn more or a rehash. Like I said earlier my time is limited and I think my time would be better spent on trying to make my life better than about women at this point. Plus game isn't very complicated to me. In fact better to keep it simple.

1. Meet a mutual attracted women.
2. Don't **** it up by talking so much.
3. Have a sexual frame and show it.
4. Escalate and take care of logistics.
5. Don't overcompensate after ****ing or before meeting for date if you can't close the deal right away.
6. Always have options besides her.

And I was having great success. My issue was more along the lines of are they worth my time that is so precious? I think my time is better suited to improving my life and having more options in life. Possibly being a happy single man. And having meeting women taking a back seat in my life.

 

[Mike32ct]

Doing everything to attract women will make a lot of men miserable.

Not every guy wants the high-powered job.

Not every guy wants to spend hours at the gym.

Not every guy wants to spend hours at bars, clubs, parties or building social circles.

I'm all for self-improvement, but you need to do what YOU want to do. Your happiness is more important than any puzzy.

I'm not saying stay at home, eat potato chips, and play video games because it feels good. But only get involved in (constructive) endeavors that that will make you happy in the end.

 

[Krueg]

Pook and Anti-Dumps post arent about being some player or PUA.. Pook is more of the inspirational writer thats helps you in all areas, Anti-Dump is more about finding the right woman for you to save you all the B.S. and heart ache.. I would highly recommend reading their material!