Having girls as friends is bad?

[Babnik]

I don't understand why it is considered that you are her girlfriend if you are not screwing her...

I have many girls that are my friends. No sexual tension between us.
Thing is...if you know girls, you find more girls through them and THAT gets you laid.


Like, is it truly something out of ordinary or truly AFC to have a girl as a FRIEND?

I never had a girl being BEST friend and have her tell me about her problems, but just to go out and have fun - I sure do!

 

[Cod3r]

I've had AFC female friends and REAL female friends...

My afc friend became a one-itis who I had to end up deleting from my life, my current REAL female friend we talk about everything. We share talks about our relationships, our lives, we're great friends...

The key to having REAL female friends, no sexual tension between either of you.


-Cod3r

 

[Le Parisien]

"Having girls as friends is bad?"

This is a typical case of taking things to far, very pervasive on sosuave...

Babnik you are right to ask these questions, because, well... "why can't I have friends who just happen to be females?"



However, there's a clear distinction that we should always bear in mind:

- It's normal to have genuine friends who just happen to be girls. It's really helpful to understand certain things about women, or people in general, because they make up half of the world population, and they don't always see things the way we do. Last but not the least: most likely they also know many other girls who may be hot that they can introduce to you.

- Now we also have the textbook AFC situation, when an AFC pursues some girl/woman, and she turns him down. In order to hope for "another chance", the AFC settles for being "friends" while he hangs around in constant pain and frustration.


Nevertheless, we all know too well that many times there's this grey area, it's not always clear cut. Are we really friends or maybe I'm hoping for more... Here are a few of my personal tests to assess the situation.

- If she is/was single, will/would you change the way you see her. If it's "yes", then you need to watch out. If it's "I will ask her out", then you are not friends, you want her!

- If she's not single, do you resent the boyfriend/husband/etc...? Are you jealous? If it's "yes", then you know what it means. Otherwise you have nothing to worry about...for now...

- Would you do things that you won't for your other good male buddies. If it's a definite "yes", then it's a clear case of AFC hanging around hoping for more.

 

[Babnik]

"Having girls as friends is bad?"

This is a typical case of taking things to far, very pervasive on sosuave...

Babnik you are right to ask these questions, because, well... "why can't I have friends who just happen to be females?"



However, there's a clear distinction that we should always bear in mind:

- It's normal to have genuine friends who just happen to be girls. It's really helpful to understand certain things about women, or people in general, because they make up half of the world population, and they don't always see things the way we do. Last but not the least: most likely they also know many other girls who may be hot that they can introduce to you.

- Now we also have the textbook AFC situation, when an AFC pursues some girl/woman, and she turns him down. In order to hope for "another chance", the AFC settles for being "friends" while he hangs around in constant pain and frustration.


Nevertheless, we all know too well that many times there's this grey area, it's not always clear cut. Are we really friends or maybe I'm hoping for more... Here are a few of my personal tests to assess the situation.

- If she is/was single, will/would you change the way you see her. If it's "yes", then you need to watch out. If it's "I will ask her out", then you are not friends, you want her!

- If she's not single, do you resent the boyfriend/husband/etc...? Are you jealous? If it's "yes", then you know what it means. Otherwise you have nothing to worry about...for now...

- Would you do things that you won't for your other good male buddies. If it's a definite "yes", then it's a clear case of AFC hanging around hoping for more.

Two of these girls I wanted to f*ck and I went for it ASAP but they gave excuses and LJBF with me.

At that time, my feelings for them disappeared. I don't pursue them now, I have other girls, but regardless I go out with them and have fun.
We have common interests, but no sexual vibe anymore.

I do not FALL for a girl unless I know she is going to respond in the same manner. I find out immediately and if not - its cool with me.

I call them like once in 2 weeks to go out with me and my friends.
I don't feel like I am their GIRLFRIEND though...

 

[Nasman]

I don't understand why it is considered that you are her girlfriend if you are not screwing her...

I have many girls that are my friends. No sexual tension between us.
Thing is...if you know girls, you find more girls through them and THAT gets you laid.


Like, is it truly something out of ordinary or truly AFC to have a girl as a FRIEND?

I never had a girl being BEST friend and have her tell me about her problems, but just to go out and have fun - I sure do!

Yes that is an advantage for having female friends. You can meet girls through them. But many of these girls that are your friends will hate on u if there friends want to fvck you.

I fvcked 3 of my x fvck buddies girlfriends and at first she was cool with it... But then a couple of her other friends wanted to fvck me and then she start hating on me....

Very rarely can I be just friends with a girl. Reason is I usually fvck them. I don't just stay friends with girls. I usually find men are more interesting and I get along with them better.

I rarely stay friends with a woman I have fvcked in the past..... I notice a lot of guys that stay friends with woman really want to fvck them.... THis is AFC behavior to the fullest.

 

[Yapper]

Who wants to be friends with a girl? EUGH!

 

[Raikojo17]

there r advantages to having girls as friends, like being introduce to there hot friends and getting girls attention,etc. but i personally dont really meet hot girls just to be friends with them. if it doesnt work out and we stay friends, then that's cool, but i dont walk up to a girl and talk to her just to be her friend. guys are the people i meet just to be friends because i can relate to them more, and because im not gay and go around hitting on guys,lol. guys are more fun to be friends with anyway, u can do guy stuff that u dare not do infront of a girl.

 

[Cod3r]

Genuine female friends and male freinds are same thing... wats difference ??

I would back up my female friend same as a male friend. I talk about my LTR with my male friends same as I do with my female friend. I drink and talk about 'hot pvssy' around my female friends same as my male friends... No sexual feelings on either side (i think she might feel a TAD for me tho) but right now she has bf and I have gf and niether of us are mad or disappointed..

I do NOT believe you can be friends with someone u r attracted to, dosen't work


-Cod3r

 

[Raikojo17]

Genuine female friends and male freinds are same thing... wats difference ??

-Cod3r

you can relate to male friends more, since they are males too. you dont have to deal with your males friends' period craps and all that junk. plus you feel a more brotherly connection to male friends. if you feel a deeper friendship connection with a female, then that probably means that you like her.

 

[Mental]

I don't understand why it is considered that you are her girlfriend if you are not screwing her...

I have many girls that are my friends. No sexual tension between us.
Thing is...if you know girls, you find more girls through them and THAT gets you laid.


Like, is it truly something out of ordinary or truly AFC to have a girl as a FRIEND?

I never had a girl being BEST friend and have her tell me about her problems, but just to go out and have fun - I sure do!

I've got a female friend who's married. She's one of my (honest to goodness) best friends.

I've got another whom I'm being stuck getting into a friendship with, but she's beautiful, and has a great outlook on life, so, I guess it's not a complete loss (hey, I now (sort of) have some social proof, not that this was the intent, and I'm not going out with her as a selfish benefit to me... its just a nice plus) Of course, if she were interested, I'd probably do my best to get a date with her.

I've got some that I'm on friendly terms with, who are in their late 30's (so no interest there), but they play games from time to time, so I've let them go.

I've got a few others whom I sort of avoid, since they're messed up.

It IS possible to have no sexual interest in a woman, while having a interest in their lives. And it might even be healthy, depending on where you all are mentally and emotionally speaking.

 

[leeman67]

there r advantages to having girls as friends, like being introduce to there hot friends and getting girls attention,etc. but i personally dont really meet hot girls just to be friends with them. if it doesnt work out and we stay friends, then that's cool, but i dont walk up to a girl and talk to her just to be her friend. guys are the people i meet just to be friends because i can relate to them more, and because im not gay and go around hitting on guys,lol. guys are more fun to be friends with anyway, u can do guy stuff that u dare not do infront of a girl.

I have a long time girl friend that I would like to be more with. She does have other friends, but I have never had her to try and set me up with any of them. So what does this mean??

 

[Thomas94305]

Advice on this board is all over the place.. just because someone else posts something, doesn't mean you should follow it.

I'm seeking females as friends. If someone here has a problem with that, then that person needs to work on respect. I get a lot out of female friends.. there's the friendship, an end in itself. And, they are a valuable asset to DJ skills.

There's one gal I've known for about 4 years. A common friend encouraged me to date her, but I didn't. She just seemed to be too much a home body for me. BUT, this woman just spins my thinking around about hot women. This woman is *VERY* attractive, and I've told her so. But, she is very shy and nervous. She gets some dates, but not a lot due to this. When I see a hottie that I think is too aloof or "whatever" to approach, I think of my hot friend. It reframes the situation to.. "ya never know .. maybe I'm the only male attention she'll get lately.."

I share an office with another woman. I've asked her about why women won't call or put much effort into things when you start dating.. even if they end up later on never leaving you alone. She told me about the game women play so that they don't seem "too easy".

Guys.. make your own choices.. but friends like these give me fresh perspectives that I won't get from Mystery, or DeAngelo..etc.

 

[Scrumtulescence]

There is nothing wrong with having females for friends. For christ's sake, that's not opinion, that's fact. Just make sure you don't have an uncontrollable attraction towards them....ie you wouldn't give a damn and wouldn't feel jealous if she told you about the guy whose d1ck she just sucked....and you're alright. There are benefits to having female friends, and believe it or not, some women are actually cool, enjoyable people on a non-sexual level.

 

[BlackJackal]

Chris Rock talked about this subject and made it funny as hell.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxWWi8prOO4
Men dont have platonic friends, they just have women they haven't f***ed yet.

 

[Le Parisien]

I have a long time girl friend that I would like to be more with. She does have other friends, but I have never had her to try and set me up with any of them. So what does this mean??

This is what explains all...

You have a textbook case of AFC being "friends" because he can't get what he really wants...

Trust me, people know when you are not genuinely "friends", people know it when you maintain a "friendship" for a personal agenda. Especially women, they can smell miles away when you try to be "friends" in order to get into her pants.

Why she doesn't introduce you to her other friends, so many reasons are possible.

- She's stringing you along. Since she knows that you want to be "friends" to be with her, why introduce you to other girls and lose the attention.

- She doesn't think very highly of you. How can you blame her, you hang around like a puppy dog hoping for that "maybe"... It's a turnoff for women. She's not gonna introduce some loser to her friends.

- The very reason why you are in such situation might largely due to the fact that she's an attention wh*re and did everything possible to encourage you into such a situation...

- Maybe even herself tries to avoid you, because she feels it's a little creepy that you try so hard to be "friends" while she knows too well what you are really after.

In short: you displayed lower value/status by trying to be "friends" instead of being a true friend, and maybe she's too bored/repulsed, or maybe she's an attention wh*re.

Either way, it doesn't really matter. Know what's wrong and change your attitude/behavior. Good luck!

 

[havybastard]

rule 1) if you only have female friends, there is something intrinsically wrong with you. I have never met a guy who is a weird ****, who has had a good group of guy mates.


with me, i have some chicks that are friends, but there is a mutual slight attraction. If they were uggers i wouldnt give a **** about them

 

[typical]

Girls offer me nothing in a friendship, they cant help you with any of your life problems, or anything, they only offer a "fun day or night out when your bored".

Like really think about what I just said, if your living your life, trying to get somewhere achieve anything, you dont really have time to sit around and BS with your guy mates let alone some chick.

I dont have time to sit around talking about crap with a girl, dont see the point to it, yes I talk with my gf alot but thats different. Guy mates are sweet your killing time and they dont go off in a tangent and ask you lame a$$ questions aye.

I see no benifits to having girl mates. Yea they offer a insight as to how girls work but thats it, nothing more, most of them suck at doing any thing close to having fun.

They dont wanna go hire out a racetrack and drive their cars to the limit. They dont wanna go offroad in their big 4x4's cause it'll get "dirty".
They dont wanna go bar hopping and get trashed.
They dont wanna go skydiving/bunjy jumping.
They dont wanna sit in a garage and play pool and jam with guitars and drums.
They dont wanna cruise around on a sunny saturday listening to music and just going for a chill drive.

Like in all honestly guys chicks dont know the meaning of fun at all, they just wanna sit there and look preety and b!tch about how everything sucks.

Of course you and your guy mates are down for doing fun things like that, and chicks will go along with you for the ride, cause thats what they want they want to have fun but are too scared to do it themselves, they need someone to hold their hand and take them along for the ride .......... but make sure her hair doesnt get messed up cause it cost 200 to get it done right.

I hope you see what I mean. And for those who say what about when you want to sit down and chillout and talk or rest, dont you want a girl mate to chat with, nah not really talk about what ? Her issues in life that she doesnt have the guts to face or resolve ?

Yea I do have a couple of girl mates who are down for anything day or night, but guess what boys, they are down for anything cause they "like" me and are being AFC and trying to hook up with me. They know I'm not the type to sit here all day long and talk about crap, I'll be cruising in my car or jamming with my mates or something, dont have time to talk about problems or crap. Why talki about problems and crap when you can spen that time fixing those problems aye.

Wake the hell up guys and realise your life isnt meant for sitting around idle making friends with girls, its about going out there doing what you want to do when you want to. You get enough things going on in your life and you'll be sweet, I still havnt reached that point but I'm nearing it, maybe in the next few years or so.

 

[Leporello]

I see no benifits to having girl mates. Yea they offer a insight as to how girls work but thats it, nothing more, most of them suck at doing any thing close to having fun.

They dont wanna go hire out a racetrack and drive their cars to the limit. They dont wanna go offroad in their big 4x4's cause it'll get "dirty".
They dont wanna go bar hopping and get trashed.
They dont wanna go skydiving/bunjy jumping.
They dont wanna sit in a garage and play pool and jam with guitars and drums.
They dont wanna cruise around on a sunny saturday listening to music and just going for a chill drive.

None of those things sound fun to me.

and girls tend to not be so insufferable and dumb.

This is one the biggest problems here.. alot of you guys don't even like girls! If you don't like girls as people, is there really that much advantage to dating one over jacking off?

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I think that unless a girl is repulsively ugly (or at the very least has a bad chemistry or you honestly, positively, and absolutely do not want her as you feel no spark, excitement or energy of attraction) or has already stated she has a boyfriend or is married then it's bad to have a single attractive female friend because you'll feel there is a potential, and if you dont feel a potential, you'll feel ripped off when you find out she gave herself to someone else she was REALLY attracted to and bursts the bubble of illusion.

 

[avrilishot]

I dont think its a bad idea you learn more things about girls then..then they can always hook you up wth one of there hot friends..if they have any hot friends.