Having another go at online: profile ideas for one with a so-so resume

[Bonhomme]

OK, I've decided to have another go at online dating. Right now my profile is in effect hidden by my age being listed as "99." I have a relatively new business, which is progressing well, but don't make a real lot of money yet, drive a beat-up car, and live in "the hood." Never been married. Looks are OK, but not GQ. Well above average writer, but haven't thought of anything to say that's laugh out loud funny.

Anyway, here's the profile text as it currently stands:

If unique is what you seek, you have come to the right place. I’m a different sort of drummer, an unmarried man who has more interests and passions than my typing finger cares to tick off. I'm often the devil's advocate, tend to be very supportive of the people in my life, am very good with kids and animals, and look for win-win arrangements.

When I'm involved with someone, I'm very, affectionate, sensual, tactile, and passionate. If you don't like sensual touches, massages, and lots and lots of kissing, we would not be a long-term romantic match.

I like my career quite a bit: I rarely have to set an alarm clock, and get to worm my way into crawl spaces and attics, sometimes get on roofs, play with electricity, and meet lots of diverse, interesting people in the process. The flexibility and control of my schedule is cool, too.

Disclaimer: listed age, if not completely obscured (i.e., 99), may or may not be accurate, and may change from time to time. This is to make this as much as possible like meeting in person and widen the "reach" of the profile. Most of the pics are new (July 2006), but 1 or 2 may be from late 2003 - early 2004.

In fact, my best relationships have been with people with whom I'd not have even contacted, much less exchanged an email, in an online dating service such as this. It's more about chemistry, personality, and character, which one can only really get a good sense of by interacting in person. So I'm more interested in the "vibe" of your profile. But if I do match your criteria very well, I'll probably write you anyway. After all, it's bad luck to be superstitious.

If you’re a smart, affectionate, vibrant woman who can dance to a different drumbeat, take a deep breath, try not to get TOO excited, and holler back.

First, I put the sensuality bit in to work up that sort of a mood and get in a bit of dry humor. The age bit was put in because I don't want to just out-and-out lie, and want to enable people to write me, once I get the profile tightened up (I'll change it to something representative of the people I date).

Ideas, comments?

Or is it just a fool's mission for someone like me, who comes across way better in person?

 

[Bible_Belt]

get to worm my way into crawl spaces and attics, sometimes get on roofs, play with electricity,

Cut out that part. Women don't understand, and worms are icky.

 

[Bonhomme]

Are you from the USA? "Worm my way into" is an Americanism that refers to crawling into tight spaces. The intent of the paragraph was a bit of humor, in describing all of these supposedly unpleasant tasks with boyish glee.

 

[Luveno]

If you're using the net to sarge you must:

1. Get excellent pictures of yourself. If you cannot get these because you're not good looking, then get good looking.

2. Do not write paragraphs in your profile. State something ****y and funny. One or two lines MAX. Currently you have the wrong idea. Remember, mysterious men are more attractive than ones who lay everything out on the line.

Face-to-face interaction is what counts. So the net is used for arranging times for this interaction.

I see the net as a catalogue full of girls, which I thumb through occasionally to find one I like. Then I order that one and go pick it up on the arrival date.

 

[DJDamage]

I think you got to make it shorter and to the point. Let her use her imagination rather then give her complex details.

Most chicks I know have a very short attention span and when they go online they will first look at your profile picture and not give a damn about what you say. If you got a good picture and they feel attracted to you then they will read your profile. The better looking you are in the picture the less it matter what you write. In real life sarging your looks tend to mesh with your personality therefore the chicks will judge you AS A WHOLE as a opposed to PICTURE FIRST, THEN PROFILE SECOND.

You wrote as if you want someone to like you as oppose as bringing what you like out and expressing your own passions. A chick would just scan your profile and read "Blah blah blah blah blah" but if you put some words on what you like to do, put a little humor into it, and make it exciting to allow her visualise you and her doing those activites together with you then you got a good profile. Then again if your picture looks like Brad Pitt, you can leave it blank and chicks will still want to hook up with you no matter what.

Read Francisco d'Anconia stuff as well:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=74253&highlight=online

 

[Lucas718]

To me it comes across like you're trying way too hard to get a date. You don't need to be so direct by saying "I'm this...", "I'm that...". Try saying the same things in a more indirect way... like saying your job allows you to spend a lot of time outdoors instead of a cramped office cubicle. Leave some things to the imagination. A woman reading your profile now pretty much knows all there is to know about you... so why would she need to contact you? You've already told her everything.

 

[Bonhomme]

Thanks for the suggestions. My original thought was to simply keep my age at "99" and contact people, rather than having them contact me. An old profile text I used before (see below) may work better for having them write me.

I took dozens of pics, and have picked out the best of them. They're not bad, but not good enough to get hot women on looks alone. If I knew how, I could post a link. Unfortunately they all look way better full-screen then as thumbnails (which is how people see them first). One is of me playing the drums.

So I think the pics are more-or-less neutral. But I don't want to put false pics up so the gals bail when they meet me. I met one gal whose main pic I swear was 10 years old. She looked way different.

Remember too, I'm not looking for women of average or less intelligence. I couldn't deal with them, and they couldn't deal with me. The demographic is also 30ish and above. These women expect some substance, not just fluff.

Anyway, here's the other text I have used (headline in bold):

Seeking sexy, sensual smartass ...

... for sublime romance. If you're looking for a "regular guy," hit Ctrl Alt Delete. I'm unconventional, unmarried, romantic, very affectionate, and physically fit, and think way "outside the box." I also have a quirky sense of humor, an interesting, fun business, cool shoes, and a taste for the unique and extraordinary. I enjoy playing, dancing, and listening to a wide variety of music (love to check out new & interesting sounds), and get into diverse indoor and outdoor activities, such as: jamming some tunes; a sunny afternoon at the lake; a good, intense workout; a night on the town checking out an art opening and a concert; a romantic dinner; and what not. Especially what not.

My match must be bright, sensual, and not too dogmatic. Some definite positives include a sharp wit, unique style, artistic and/or musical leanings, a warm smile, soft skin, tolerance of the occasional typo, and enough off-centeredness to keep things interesting, but the kind of chemistry you can't describe in words is essential.

Discalimer: age listed may or may not be accurate. I don't wear a tag with my age on it in day-to-day life, after all. Pics are mostly new (July 2006).

I could cut out the list of activities, but it does give one a chance to visualize some things, as per DJDamage's suggestions.

 

[Lucas718]

The second one is much better, although I think I'd drop the age disclaimer.

 

[Bonhomme]

I don't want to flat-out lie about it, and intend to change the listed age from time to time. So even if I did have no integrity, some would notice the variation anyway, and I might be booted out. With the disclaimer, no problemo.

 

[Latinoman]

This thread is another reason why I advice my female friends/family NEVER to seek men in the internet.

Anyway,

OK, I've decided to have another go at online dating. Right now my profile is in effect hidden by my age being listed as "99." I have a relatively new business, which is progressing well, but don't make a real lot of money yet, drive a beat-up car, and live in "the hood." Never been married. Looks are OK, but not GQ. Well above average writer, but haven't thought of anything to say that's laugh out loud funny.

The question is…what is your target audience?

There three types of women that go to internet adds:

1- Women already in relationships that want to cheat
2- Women that are looking for relationships and for whatever reason (none positive – although that don’t make them bad either) want to seek it in the internet
3- Women that simply want to phuck

So, once again…what group is your target?

Now, I won’t tell you what to write, because that is not going to help you become a better self. We are not (and should not) be here to help any man “get laid”. We should be here to help men better themselves.

I strongly believe that under the current circumstances, you are better going out there and showing yourself to the crowd. Living in the “hood” and driving a beat-up car means nothing once a woman sees your personality in PERSON (you know, attraction?) However, writing all that stuff…as soon as that woman contacts you and start asking you questions…trust me…you will be disqualified by group #2. You might have some success with group #3 and possibly group #1.

Note: I cannot comment on your add yet.

 

[Latinoman]

How old are you?

 

[Bonhomme]

Latinoman, did you read the first ad or the 2nd one (post #7, which is the one that is live on the site)?

I totally agree about more easily being better in person, but I'm having a go at this is because most of the unattched, reasonably hot women I'm meeting in the course of my usual social activities are practically kids. Very few prospects as of late.

Target demographic is late 20s through mid 40s, but open for flings or encounters outside that range. Target audience is any of the above, except those who are actually married and and not separated or breaking it off.

 

[Bonhomme]

I like it, Espi. Pure straightforwardness. Of course, I don't see things the same way, so much of it would be different coming from me.

 

[Latinoman]

Latinoman, did you read the first ad or the 2nd one (post #7, which is the one that is live on the site)?

I totally agree about more easily being better in person, but I'm having a go at this is because most of the unattched, reasonably hot women I'm meeting in the course of my usual social activities are practically kids. Very few prospects as of late.

Target demographic is late 20s through mid 40s, but open for flings or encounters outside that range. Target audience is any of the above, except those who are actually married and and not separated or breaking it off.

Okay,

Before I left my house (I was still living with my ex- until I found a place to stay and the kids were a little older), I did some serious research and "tests" with the online thing.
I did the research, because I didn’t want to see anyone while I was still living there. I still stand by my views on the Internet sarging…it is a tool used when we are facing some serious hurdles with dating in real life.

I never went to “dating” sites. Didn’t want to waste my $ for that.
What I did was go to a message board similar to this one, but that dealt with certain hobbies (e.g. sports, fitness, etc.). I noticed lot of women were posting there. Some under the pretense of looking for advice. I was a little arseholish and did not kiss their butts (believe it or not…many found that attractive). Then a few weeks/months later, I became charming. And openly offered to show my “bad boy” face. To my surprised, I got several PMs asking to see how I look like. When they did…

I also went to a “Yafro” place…which is a place where you can post pictures, etc. And pick up “friends” (invite them to your site). Needless to say, I had about 70-80 of them (before they constraint the amount) of which about 90% were VERY GOOD LOOKING women.

I was extremely successful in both places. Noting that neither place was designed for “hook up” purposes. But, I noticed that women found me intriguing and several exchanged or provided their personal emails and telephone numbers. MANY were married or with boyfriends and obviously were looking for an affair with somebody like me. Others were single. The vast majority wanted to meet. I decided to meet NONE. Quite honestly, I don’t have too meet women from the Internet. I’m not that desperate yet…but recognize that someday I can and probably will. So, wanted to make sure I developed that skill on-line, just in case.

The ones that showed the strongest interest were the ones that were able to see my pictures. Several even shared naked pictures of them (amateur, etc.). They were legit (I even asked one to write something in a piece of paper before she took the picture – to determine authenticity – and she complied! LOL ).

So… GOOD pictures are EXTREMELY important. You can add “silly” pictures later. And of course, if you are in great shape, you might be able to add some without a shirt under some stupid pretext. But do NOT post naked pictures.

What kind of pictures got their attentions?

In my case,

1-A face picture
2-Pictures without a shirt . I had one showing my stomach/chest area and me commenting something like, “I still have a long way to go” (Note: I was muscular and fit with what was clearly a well define abs). So, the reaction was very good. I had another showing my muscular back too.
3-I had pictures of me making some faces (I am funny and manage to make them laugh), but not like a clown. More like a “bad boy” with a “kids side”.

But the important one is that the first one was a very good picture of me smiling. After that, the others were additions. I am also very good flirting and have great charm. I’m cucky…but funny too. And I am very masculine, but NOT misogynist.

 

[Bonhomme]

Yeah, the "push-pull" makes sense. What kind of a pic did you have, Espi?

Are you really good-looking, Espi? Well-built? Or fairly average?

I'm on the athletic side of trim -- not as good as stocky or really buff, but a helluva lot better than stick-skinny, like I used to be.

I know good pics are very, very important, but my expectations are scaled to match. I don't expect to attract supermodels, just reasonably cute, reasonably fit women.

***********

Good post, Latinoman. I could apply the same approach to political or philosohical boards, which play to my strengths. Practically speaking, the main issue is that such boards are hardly regional...