Have been LJBF, feel humilliated, gona make deep changes

[ToBeTheBest]

Been a year since my last LTR. Been out with some girls, but never got really interested in any.

Finally i met a girl who is incredible, the most beautifull eyes, smile, personality, looks, i just love everything about her.

We have been going out for month and a half, things were going good, she went with me to some birthday parties as my date, we went out to movies, to my place, etc. But when i tryed to get more physical with her, she would avoid kisses, touching, stuff like that.
I eventually messed up, and started acting needy, like i was going out with her and saying to myself "tonight i'm not gona try kiss her even once so that i mess up with her mund", but i couldnt help myself cause i felt a big passionate urge..

We did kiss and stuff a couple of ocasion, but her big message is LJBF.
I feel really humilliated by this.
This weekend its her birthday, i'm gona go out with her and it will be the last time for me, i'll cut contact to barelly 0.

My point here is that after so long, when i finally met a girl i really wanted to be with (one that i really enjoy her company, not like the other i make sex with and after its done i just wanna get the hell out to do other stuff), i couldnt play my cards right and i'm losing the girl.

I dont want this to happen ever again. I will read the bible, i will aproach every girl i see, i will practice every move, and be the biggest motherf**** with girls until i learn the game.
So that when i meet again a girl i fall in love with, i wont lose her..

 

[Don Wha]

You are putting this girl on a pedestal. Seems like you got the girl by being suave and Don Juan like. Then you turned into a complete AFC. You need to put your oneitus in check because its obviously ruined you in this situation. Regardless of how hot/beautiful/nice/cool a girl is, you need to keep your head on straight and make sure you play your cards right.

Finally i met a girl who is incredible, the most beautifull eyes, smile, personality, looks, i just love everything about her.

From the beginning you already set yourself up for failure. You LOVED everything about her!? C'mon man, stop being a girl and being so emotional. When the emotions take over, you'll lose your cool and your actions will reflect your emotions.

At least you have a sense of what you did wrong. Just make sure you learned from it and continue to improve yourself. Like you said, read the DJ bible. It covers all the basics and you'll see what you did wrong.

There are plenty of girls out there. Make sure you dont fall in love with them the second you meet them.

-Don Wha in the making

 

[GetOveIT]

A couple of years ago, i was in this kind of thing like "shes perfect, shes kind etc etc", the problem with perfect people is... THERE INST ONE!
Either you're throwing the girl into a pedestral and ignoring the flaws or she is hiding the flaws and being nice to you and one day she will snap and break your heart.
Just Next the girl and move on... there are more fish in the water than you can handle, go for it.

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Good for you for wanting to make something good out of this!

I think this thread, currently in Don Juan Tips, is right up your alley right now: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173075

 

[Iceberg]

This weekend its her birthday, i'm gona go out with her and it will be the last time for me, i'll cut contact to barelly 0.

Don't go out with her. Her purpose in your life was to be a girl you dated. She ended that. Now she serves no purpose in your life.

You can't make a hammer into a spoon. Stop trying to make a potential girlfriend into a friend.


At least for now.

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

If you do go out, make SURE (in your own head) that it is a 'friends' thing and you've ruled out any other possibility. I did this recently by telling the girl some crazy story I would NEVER tell someone I'm interested in. It helped close the book on it in my own mind.

From there you can keep her as a female-friend (if she is indeed cool), which will help in the long term (IMO).

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle.

The girl didn't friendzone you, you friendzoned yourself by putting this girl so high up like she's a goddess.

Just let this girl go an don't put future women so high up above you.

Case closed.

 

[Mr.Freestyler19]

wat does LJBF mean??

 

[thecurtainfalls]

let's just be friends.

or, lemon juice butt-fvck

 

[Mr.Freestyler19]

let's just be friends.

or, lemon juice butt-fvck

lol

 

[ToBeTheBest]

YoU guys missed a part of what i said.
I dated a couple of girls this year and i never got interested in any in a more than physical level. This one was the only one. That's why im pissed that the one i want i failed to game her right

 

[Don Wha]

YoU guys missed a part of what i said.
I dated a couple of girls this year and i never got interested in any in a more than physical level. This one was the only one. That's why im pissed that the one i want i failed to game her right

No I got that part. Just because you were dating other girls before does not mean you cannot have a case of oneitus or putting this girl on the pedelstal still.

You need to be dating other girls WHILE you're seeing girls that you have high interest in at the same time. That's why you hear around this part of the woods that spinning plates is important. It makes you put less emphasis and importance on one girl. Because when you do that, that's when you screw up and look too available and too desperate.

-Don Wha in the making

 

[Lord Sidious]

Chances of you reverse this situation are much too low. So next her. By the way, don´t go to her birthday. Valorize and respect yourself, bro.

 

[Jariel]

A lot of the time it's not something you did or didn't do, it's just the girl's prerogative. One of the big mistakes guys make with seduction is believing they can control a woman's mind and then blaming themselves when things don't work out.

Don't take it personally. Some women are only attracted to certain types of guys or maybe she's already got her mind on someone else. It's not what you want to hear I'm sure, but we have to accept that some things are out of our hands and just let go.

 

[starplayer]

No I got that part. Just because you were dating other girls before does not mean you cannot have a case of oneitus or putting this girl on the pedelstal still.

You need to be dating other girls WHILE you're seeing girls that you have high interest in at the same time. That's why you hear around this part of the woods that spinning plates is important. It makes you put less emphasis and importance on one girl. Because when you do that, that's when you screw up and look too available and too desperate.

-Don Wha in the making

Yep. Nailed it.


OP, this is a textbook case of oneitis, no matter how much you deny it.

There is no alternative to spinning plates if you want to have an abundance mentality. And you need to have an abundance mentality if you want to stop yourself from slipping into AFC behaviors.

To get that ONE girl you must have the option of MANY girls. Always spin plates.