Has this scenario ever happened to anyone?

[Immortality]

Ok so I'll save you guys some reading time by making fairly brief. I FAILED to listen to some of you on the forums and after suffering a breakup with a girl 3 months ago I broke everything I cherished. She tried to keep me as a friend post breakup which apparently is a sign she was suffering, but I kept thinking I was gonna lose her if I went no contact. Instead of just letting her figure things out I acted like a beta and became a COMPLETE 100% needy individual. As of today I finally let her go. I told her she is free cuz I know she likes another guy and has feelings for him. They met 3 weeks ago, but I had seen her 2 weeks ago and she seemed very happy around me. Now rather than make anymore mistakes I avoided trashing on the new guy at all. The problem is I have EXTREME oneitis. This was my first GF and I was her first BF. She has told me she doesn't 'feel' the same anymore tho. I've basically just accepted defeat, but I wondered if any of you have ever acted clingy, then changed to an alpha and actually won your girl back? I have some regret cuz I feel like I would have won her back if I would have just went NC, but after acting so clingy I think I may have destroyed everything. She seemed a lot happier when she told me about this new guy and I just accepted it so not really sure what that indicates lol. I don't know if that indicates I've been friend zoned or what, but I need some advice on what to do and if you guys have ever been in that Beta/clingy stage and how u turned it around if you did!

 

[VladPatton]

No, you cannot go Alpha after an AFC episode. That is why you have to do things right from the get-go and stick to your guns. In the future, if a girl wants out, never chump out and let her go immediately and don't look back. Make it clear that she will not see you, or hear from you. None of that "let's be friends" bullshıt. Delete all her contact info as well.

Do you really want to know how she blew her new boyfriend in her mom's bathroom during Thanksgiving dinner? Do you wanna know how he plows her in the ass every night? No, you don't. That's for her girlfriends to gossip about. Why keep ties and complicate your life? Spare yourself some heartache, man.

Let her go, find something better, and don't look back. It'll be hard at first, but you will have infinite satisfaction when you pull it off. It'll build a hell of a strong character.

 

[Immortality]

No, you cannot go Alpha after an AFC episode. That is why you have to do things right from the get-go and stick to your guns. In the future, if a girl wants out, never chump out and let her go immediately and don't look back. Make it clear that she will not see you, or hear from you. None of that "let's be friends" bullshıt. Delete all her contact info as well.

Do you really want to know how she blew her new boyfriend in her mom's bathroom during Thanksgiving dinner? Do you wanna know how he plows her in the ass every night? No, you don't. That's for her girlfriends to gossip about. Why keep ties and complicate your life? Spare yourself some heartache, man.

Let her go, find something better, and don't look back. It'll be hard at first, but you will have infinite satisfaction when you pull it off. It'll build a hell of a strong character.

Dang.....that's not what I wanted to hear, but I have to say it's most likely the truth. The funny thing is she just blew me 2 weeks ago prior to them really 'engaging' in anything. I was thinking of possibly using her as a branch to seek out her friends and then when I get one just going ghost. It was the most AFC you could get. I went from actually having her truly deeply care, to her completely wanting to fade me out of her life. I learned with 100% certainty to go absolute NC and never in a million years act like you care. Once they claim it's over, just vanish. Wish I would have listened when I read some posts 3 months ago. It's a shame cuz I still had power then and now I'm left with her as nothing more than a friend. Not even sure she's that TBH.

 

[apprenticedj]

Let me tell you buddy, what Vlad said IS the truth. Listen to his words, he's a wise guy. There's a saying that goes, and I'm paraphrasing, "a girl actually breaks up with you months before she lets you know". What this means is that she started the process of mentally letting you go a long time ago but it took her time to analyze all the angles and work up the courage to tell you.

That's why breakups are harder for guys. When we want to end it we usually act fast. The way women break up really catches us off guard and we go into AFC mode and try "to win her back". But she cannot be won back because she spent too much time deciding already and her mind is made up.

You have to cut her out of your life COMPLETELY. It's going to hurt like hell but you'll be better for it. Trust us, nearly every guy was brought here after having their heart stepped on. Keep your head up my friend.

 

[Henuff]

Ugh man sorry to hear. I did the same **** as you and I hate myself for it. Now I know wtf to do in this situation. I wish I can prove to her that I'm not a beta faggot that she remembers me as. She was also my first gf and lover. I wanted to move mountains to get her but all that ended up happening was proving how desperate and beta I am. This is a real wake up call for people like us. Really cant wait to start the journey and better my self.

 

[Immortality]

Ugh man sorry to hear. I did the same **** as you and I hate myself for it. Now I know wtf to do in this situation. I wish I can prove to her that I'm not a beta faggot that she remembers me as. She was also my first gf and lover. I wanted to move mountains to get her but all that ended up happening was proving how desperate and beta I am. This is a real wake up call for people like us. Really cant wait to start the journey and better my self.

I know how u feel. I just want another shot, but not with her. I've basically been such a Beta I don't even want to get back together with her, but I'm still hurting over what happened. I just wanna find some1 else and move the heck on . Sad thing is I feel so lost W/O my GF, but went 20 years without one lol. I feel like I actually might have had "The One" cuz I was her first everything as well. It just sucks losing all that, but I have not been screwed over as bad as a few other ppl and what they posted today. Gotta just try to pick myself up and move on, but the stress physically hurts my condition so it's actually really hard!

 

[Henuff]

I know how u feel. I just want another shot, but not with her. I've basically been such a Beta I don't even want to get back together with her, but I'm still hurting over what happened. I just wanna find some1 else and move the heck on . Sad thing is I feel so lost W/O my GF, but went 20 years without one lol. I feel like I actually might have had "The One" cuz I was her first everything as well. It just sucks losing all that, but I have not been screwed over as bad as a few other ppl and what they posted today. Gotta just try to pick myself up and move on, but the stress physically hurts my condition so it's actually really hard!

Yeah dood same here. Its been about a month or so for me. But if its fresh it hurts. Make sure you the DJ bible, that **** set me straight. It made me feel a lot better and how irrational women really are. Its funny I don't blame her if its in her genes, but rather I blame myself for letting my guard down and getting too comfortable in the relationship (sorta). I thought she was the one as well but I'm sure you learned that there is no THE ONE but yourself. Also read the DJ Bootcamp and tear that **** up once your grieving is over.

 

[om1xr]

You guys need to understand that the most powerful thing a man can have is the ability to move on from anything that don't benefit him or hurt him with zero fvcks given. when you get to that state you will be able to dump anything that make you suffer or give a headache or a heartache, not just women but i mean anything even a bad job or a bad habit or friend....etc.

but to be able to have this mindset or skill is something you gain from experiences and from having many options. and options in life give you a real power. having options is not something easy but it's like money when you have 0$ it will be hard to make your first 1$..1000$....1000000$ but once you get plenty of money you will get more and more with so much easiness. it's the same with with plates, social circles and plates..etc.

so the main point is to be able to move on from a bad relationship or any bad thing in life you must have options or some other pleasure resources. and with options it will be hard to find yourself in situations like this.

 

[Immortality]

You guys need to understand that the most powerful thing a man can have is the ability to move on from anything that don't benefit him or hurt him with zero fvcks given. when you get to that state you will be able to dump anything that make you suffer or give a headache or a heartache, not just women but i mean anything even a bad job or a bad habit or friend....etc.

but to be able to have this mindset or skill is something you gain from experiences and from having many options. and options in life give you a real power. having options is not something easy but it's like money when you have 0$ it will be hard to make your first 1$..1000$....1000000$ but once you get plenty of money you will get more and more with so much easiness. it's the same with with plates, social circles and plates..etc.

so the main point is to be able to move on from a bad relationship or any bad thing in life you must have options or some other pleasure resources. and with options it will be hard to find yourself in situations like this.

Ya it's the oneitis that bugs me and the the regret of not just leaving like a champ. It actually hurts my head thinking about it and the stress aint good for my health.

 

[JoeMarron]

Yeah, act as if she never existed. You WILL regret any attempt to get her back. I was in a similar situation with my first. It wasn't even a relationship but I caught feelings, turned her off, realized the error of my ways and cut contact with her, became a huge pvssy and went back on my decision, turned her off even more, finally cut her off for good, tears, pain, regret, disgust...you get the idea, it's not pretty. Don't try to turn this sh!t around. You will be a billion times better off starting fresh with a new chick. Ironically when you finally do move on she may come snooping around again. That's when you can show off your more awesome self and your hotter chick and make her forever mourn "the one that got away."

 

[VladPatton]

Just be cool, man. Own your decision and don't go back to her, trust me, and we can all vouch for this: there is no shortage of girls out there. All of us here lost chicks. Fück it all, life goes on.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Take some time off from women and work on yourself, jesus get it together

 

[Streetbob]

Yep.
The time immediately after the break up is crucial. You must get it right.
Never speak to them again....delete their contacts! pick yourself up and move in another direction.

The plus point of all of this is that in time, they will come back sniffing around.

S

 

[Immortality]

Yeah, act as if she never existed. You WILL regret any attempt to get her back. I was in a similar situation with my first. It wasn't even a relationship but I caught feelings, turned her off, realized the error of my ways and cut contact with her, became a huge pvssy and went back on my decision, turned her off even more, finally cut her off for good, tears, pain, regret, disgust...you get the idea, it's not pretty. Don't try to turn this sh!t around. You will be a billion times better off starting fresh with a new chick. Ironically when you finally do move on she may come snooping around again. That's when you can show off your more awesome self and your hotter chick and make her forever mourn "the one that got away."

Ya I really F-ed it up badly. I told her post breakup we could never be friends and she was crying and grieving over the fact that we couldn't be friends. She instantly tried to rebound, but once she found out I would never talk to her again (bluff), she actually friend zoned him. Unfortunately she asked me for some space to see if she wanted to be together with me and rather than give her space I became a SUPER hardcore AFC and stalked her. She actually detached every single feeling she had for me over the course of those 3 months. I thought by giving her an ultimatum and throwing out my 'bluff' she would be forced into deciding thus giving me the power cuz she would think I would walk away. In an essence it worked, but I became sooooo clingy and needy that it repelled her off to the point she no longer even wants to be friends. It's almost as if she initiated NC with me, that is how bad it is! I went from being her #1 to someone she wants OUT of her life. She met that other guy 2 weeks ago and he had no problem replacing my spot.........Really hurts knowing all I had to do was just let her wallow on her decision and actually see if she mourned me, but I felt that bcuz on the day we broke up I acted like a D-bag she would never remember the good times and thus think of all the negatives. She became insanely jealous post break up too and tried to hide it until one day she flamed me for being friends with a girl who she thought liked me!!!! All of this occurred in February and just 3 weeks ago I seen her and we had a blast! Now 3 weeks later it seems as tho she COMPLETELY erased me from her life. It's a lot of regret to deal with and it's been really rough to handle. The only thing I can seem to do is lift weights as the emotional trauma really is hard to deal with. I acted aloof due to the medication I was on and basically in our final month together lost her.

 

[JoeMarron]

Ya I really F-ed it up badly. I told her post breakup we could never be friends and she was crying and grieving over the fact that we couldn't be friends. She instantly tried to rebound, but once she found out I would never talk to her again (bluff), she actually friend zoned him. Unfortunately she asked me for some space to see if she wanted to be together with me and rather than give her space I became a SUPER hardcore AFC and stalked her. She actually detached every single feeling she had for me over the course of those 3 months. I thought by giving her an ultimatum and throwing out my 'bluff' she would be forced into deciding thus giving me the power cuz she would think I would walk away. In an essence it worked, but I became sooooo clingy and needy that it repelled her off to the point she no longer even wants to be friends. It's almost as if she initiated NC with me, that is how bad it is! I went from being her #1 to someone she wants OUT of her life. She met that other guy 2 weeks ago and he had no problem replacing my spot.........Really hurts knowing all I had to do was just let her wallow on her decision and actually see if she mourned me, but I felt that bcuz on the day we broke up I acted like a D-bag she would never remember the good times and thus think of all the negatives. She became insanely jealous post break up too and tried to hide it until one day she flamed me for being friends with a girl who she thought liked me!!!! All of this occurred in February and just 3 weeks ago I seen her and we had a blast! Now 3 weeks later it seems as tho she COMPLETELY erased me from her life. It's a lot of regret to deal with and it's been really rough to handle. The only thing I can seem to do is lift weights as the emotional trauma really is hard to deal with. I acted aloof due to the medication I was on and basically in our final month together lost her.

You're going to be filled with regret and you're going to feel like sh!t for awhile. It sucks because it's natural for us to want to try anything to fix the situation. You have to accept that there's nothing you can do but move on and learn from your mistakes. Don't dwell on it, keep exercising and staying in shape, stay away from alcohol or other drugs that'll make you do something stupid, cry into your pillow at night if you need to. Just keep yourself busy and keep her out of your mind. If you're feeling weak and want to contact her post what you want to say here so we can call you a pvssy and set you straight. Good luck to you.

 

[Immortality]

I've been on this site a long time and have read MANY posts like yours, and one theme that so many of these posters share is a covert and rather manipulative way of somehow getting one of us to provide you a secret way of getting your girl back.

The way I see it, there's only ONE direction you can go now: FORWARD--which, to me, means ceasing all contact with your ex; accepting that you lost the ex for good; and (perhaps most importantly) spinning plates.

Right now, you're still in NEUTRAL. You want to be an "alpha" yet still get the girl back. In other words, you want to have your cake and eat it too.

In my opinion, you STILL haven't accepted reality--your girl is likely lost for good. The sooner you can accept this reality and move FORWARD, the better off you'll be. There are so many women out there. Get "out there" and start meeting other women. Meet them in clubs. Go online. Approach them in shopping malls.

Spinning plates IMO is key right now.

I've already come to reality that this girl is lost, but I wouldn't say for good. I don't have any "hope" of rekindling things, but she is only gone because I acted the way I did. I made ALL the wrong moves and let her 'feelings' die over time. I should have just went NC and let her live with regret, but instead I thought I was doing all the right things. I know this girl all to well. I have no intentions of getting back together, but a F-buddy would be nice. I'm CLEAR out of the equation. I'm so far gone it's not even funny...........However, she met some new guy who she will prolly date within the next few weeks or months. Once that breaks I can imagine my absence will stir up curiosity and she will hmu. Like I said tho, I have no intentions of getting her back as a GF. She ran me thru the ringer these past 3 months. As soon as she broke it off with me she contacted some guy she used to talk to a few months before we got together. After I started talking to her again she cut him off. I'll just be the guy to catch her in the future and do what I need to do to get it in lol. The relationship is DEAD tho. I'm not even allowed to see her by orders of her mom so it is truly hopeless. However, I do have trouble moving on and that was the first girl I ever really loved (first one I dated too). She even gave me the "lets be friends" speech and I declined. It was the only reason she didn't date the other guy cuz she still wanted to be my friend and still had feelings for me. I ruined all of that by acting sooooo clingy and needy. I doubt she has any feelings for me now after I numbed all of them lol. So me leaving and going NC will do nothing but allow me to recover and her to go do what she wants with her soon to be new man..........There will be no "missing me" cuz I lost that chance.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

No, you cannot go Alpha after an AFC episode. That is why you have to do things right from the get-go and stick to your guns.

Wrong.

You can most definitely go Alpha after an AFC episode. How? Pull a Great Gatsby Effect. Go NC and stay NC until you got yourself under control, you're spinning multiple plates elsewhere and you got good things going for you. Then casually return to your prospect who you had a AFC episode with.

Check this video to see how it works.