Hard to get a read on this girl

jobluek

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I've known this girl for about 2 years, and when I first met her I was interested in her because she was pretty cute. I invited her out a couple times but she always seemed to give a bogus excuse, like she was suddenly sick or that she took a nap and slept through a party; all signs pointed towards typical blow off excuses. So I stopped calling her. Our mutual friends (other girls) said the same thing about her; that she flakes out on her plans all the time. She had even invited me out a couple times and then decided she didn't want to go at the last minute.

A few months go by without any contact until I got a facebook invite to a party of hers, so decided what the hell, I haven't seen her in awhile, why not. She's very excited to see me and explains that she lost her phone a few months ago and couldn't call me (this was confirmed as truth), and we have a fun night of drunken debauchery, including us closing down a late-night bar on a weekday (cheers for unemployment!). We do some dirty dancing and some quality flirting, but nothing happens.

She seems to be an unusual case, and one of the hardest people to read. Ever since I’ve known her, she’s always said she has never wanted a boyfriend; she’s always been single by choice. She openly admits to random hookups, probably 2-3 times a year, claiming that she likes sex, but not with people she knows. She also claims a case of depression; I at least could sense very low self-esteem. There seems to be some sort of incident in her past because she also volunteers at a rape crisis hotline.

Somehow word got back to her that one of our mutual acquaintances wanted to date her. At first she said she’d “give it a shot,” which I found odd because she’d never wanted to date anyone, but everyone convinced her that this dude was no good. (Details are unnecessary) Word got back to dude that we were out at the bars and he was going to meet us, and she asked me if he came to the bar, if I would make out with her in front of him to make sure he knows she’s not interested. I give her a weird face and don’t respond, but luckily someone told him that we were leaving and not to come, so it didn’t matter.

Anyway, she called me tonight asking me out for drinks again, and I said I could meet her after my class ended, which would be around 930ish. Then at like 9pm she says she’s tired, and then at about 10pm she called me and asked if I wanted to meet her out, she was with friends at a restaurant. I said no, so she says we’ll go out on Thursday or Saturday (trying to reschedule was a good sign, in my opinion), but I still felt it kind of bogus.

The part I'm having trouble reading on her is simply, what is her problem? It's hard to see the motivation behind her actions. Statistically speaking, she's apparently flaked out less on me than with her girlfriends, but the fact that it seems like a general disrespect to everyone makes me question what makes her tick. She also seems to be a little naive when it comes to dealing with guys. She didn't understand why texting all night to the guy she wasn't interested in was sending a mixed message.

The post isn't to see if she's into me or not, I know my responsibility is to just make a move or be her gay friend, it's simply to figure out, what the heck is wrong with her. Is she too damaged to deal with?

Any thoughts are appreciated!
 

Billy_Badass

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(trying to reschedule was a good sign, in my opinion)
The wise man is wary of the chronic rescheduler. Make plans with her one more time, and if she bails, there is your answer. She will MAKE time if she wants you.
 

TheDoctor

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She could just be a free-spirited FLAKE! I know girls (and guys) who do what they want when they want without thinking too much into PLANS. If they make a date/plan then don't feel like going, they won't suck it up and go out of respect for the other party, they will do what they want when they want. Tough girls to date. She could be doing drugs too (just a suggestion).

Also bear in mind that high interest level will (most often) dictate breaking or not breaking plans with you. Think of it this way, if you were totally into a chick and wanted to go out with her, of course you will show up on time, ready to go. If you aren't so much into the girl, then you have more of a predisposition to bail on her without worring too much about it.
 
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