HAHA. Just when you think you've changed...

ThunderMaverick

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We're all late bloomers, it seems. All of us here have been in pretty embarassing situations when it came to being around someone you liked, asking them out, etc. You'd do something or say something to make yourself so nervous, that all of your questions, doubts, and indecissiveness came out of your body in the form of sweat, studders, and shakiness.

I bloomed late. After my 21st birthday, let's just say that that night changed my view of women forever. They wern't the sugar and spice I once knew and saw on the television and in movies. They wern't like what they use to tell me they were like. They wern't all damsels in distress. They wern't maidens to be saved.

They are, however from another planet. :lol:

I started to see women as insecure creatures. Self-conscious. Waiting to be swept off their feet. Agressive.

Voulneralbe. Incredibly voulnerable.

Ok so all that crap about me seeing them in a whole new light is out of the way. I became less afraid. I became more aggressive. I started not to care what they thought. I was just me. I became suductive. Alot of them felt the vibe and we went along with it.

I was new. I got more tail in 1 year than I did my whole life. I realized my potential and made it rise to the surface for everyone to see. I did a 180.


A TOTAL 180! I wasn't who I was before. I was smarter.
BLA BLA BLA!! Let's just say I wasn't who I was before.





But just when you think you've changed, the YO-YO of your attitude comes rolling down the string of doubt. All it takes is a little doubt to just set me off. Wow. Damn I'm insecure. I can't belive it.



I'm in the parking lot of my school. It's 10 pm. My theater rehersal is over. I want to talk to this girl I like. I don't get a chance.

5 minutes later I'm alone in the parking lot with 2 of my close friends, throwing my backpack on the ground and I just broke down. I started crying. *shrugs*


The parking lot...Hm. A false start. Let's start from the beggining of this whole thing. It all started when rehearsal for our school play just started.

I'm in a community college, btw. I'm 22.

There's this girl, one of the actresses. Sometimes I caught her staring at me and such. Maybe she thought I was attractive. I dunno. We talked a little and such and It seemed that she thought I was ok at least.

Now I don't know what situation happened first, but i'll do it in this order:

We're sitting while other people are rehearsing and she asked me to give her a shoulder massage. I did. It was nice.

Then one night I ask if she could take me home after all of the cast went out to a resturant. She said yes, then changed her mind right when we get to the car and asks if I could get a ride with someone else.

"...Questions, Jonathan, questions." What in the hell am I suppose to think about this?! "Does she like me anymore? Is she sick of me already?! Maybe she has to be somewhere? Don't take it personal! Take it personal! She hates you! She has things to do!!"

And on and on. Keep in mind when she said that ALL OF THOSE THOUGHTS WERE IN MY HEAD INBETWEEN THE SPLIT SECOND AFTER SHE SAID THAT AND I RESPONDED WITH:

"Oh that's ok. I'll just walk. My house isn't that far." Then she said she felt bad and drove me home. EH. >_<

We then exchanged IMs and I was off. We've talked a few times on AIM, but nothing serious. I haven't gotten to get into really serious conversations with her. But then she shows signs that she's attracted to me again. She's cute with me sometimes, but she just might be nice. I don't know. The point is is that she's not repelled by me. I can make something work...Somehow.


She broke up with her boyfriend over AIM. He was in the military and they were together for a year and knew each other for 3. I guess it was serious. But she's saying he dumped her over AIM, so I don't know how the hell serious it is.

But I'm doing a film with a couple of friends of mine and they were looking for a few females to cast in it. What a perfect time to talk to my crush and try to get her involved. I told her about it, gave her a script. She read it and was (and still is, i think) interested. But it's been hard to get together with her, because she' busy in the daytime and after rehersal all of her and her girlfriends from the cast go out to eat.

It's really hard to catch her by herself. So tonight we're all trying to get together, but so many people are like "let's go here! here! What are we doing tonight?!" So many talking heads! Agh! It ended in everyone leaving, her meeting with us tommorow, and me and 2 of my friends in a parking lot.

That was just the straw that broke my back. Other things caused this melt-down of mine. Stress with school. Trying to find work. Parents and collection agencies breathing down my neck. I just snapped. That was the final card that was pulled out, and the castle of my patience just toppled. I felt broken. Dammit.

It was so different a month ago. A month ago I was making out with some chick I just met at a gathering, feeling like a true DJ...and now here I am...crying in an empty parking lot at my school at 10 o'clock at night.


Just when you think you've gotten past that part of your life you relive it again. What a nightmare.
But most of it is in my mind. That's the insane part.


More questions. So many things swirling in my mind.
I just have to get over my fears I guess. I don't know where to start. The questions. Questions. Questions.

So that's why I'm here. I was hoping to get a second or third or forth..or tenth opinion on this matter. Please guys, help me out here. He are some of my questions:


What would be the best way I can just get to talk to her? One on one. I think that's the one thing I want to do most with her right now. I want to get to know her alot better than I do now.


She's 18. She just got out of a serious relationship, but she showed signs of attraction ( I think) While she still had a boyfriend. We'll they're broke up. Should I still subtly persue it? I mean she is young and jumping into another relationship...I don't want to do that to her. I'm 22, but I defiently know what I want. I just don't want to manipulate someone into...

...I don't know. Advice?

Is this worth anything? Is it worth a fight?
 
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If you are going to get emotional, do it in private andwhen at home. Leave this girl alone - this would be a good DJ challenge for you to break away from your dependency on one girl and to escape the emotional attachment you have from a girl who doesn't like you!

A girl that likes you doesn't bluntly tell you (a man) to get the hell out of her car and get a ride from someone else. I would rather have walked than to keep company with someone that doesn't want me next to them!! Keep your dignity and do not pursue her!!!
 

Genghis Juan

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Every girl is replaceable, regardless of how special or attractive she is. There is always another one waiting for you around the corner. It sounds to me, like you had a case of one-itis. Usually, if you like a girl that you find in a group setting, try to isolate her as fast as you can by setting up a one-on-one date. Divide and conquer, so the ding dong friends and classmates won't interfear with your game.
 

Ol'BlueEyes

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familiar territory

When she asked you for the massage, you should've hit her with something like,
"I only give massages to women I date."
Sounds to me like she was subtly testing you...hence her coldness with the ride home and so forth.

Speaking of which, I don't know how many times I've been tested by an HB, failed, than five minutes after the fact came up with the perfect line.
I wish I could come up with comebacks on the spot. Comes with experience, I guess.
 

Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

ThunderMaverick

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So, I should just disengage?

Yeah. I shouldn't care.


What's funny though is that a week ago I was with a friend and he told me to persue it. I didn't want to.

So we did a coin toss. Head's, I leave it alone (which I originally wanted to) and tails, I'd persue her.

I got tails. It's not one-itis. It's tails.

Guh.

Fuck the coin toss then...
 

ToP DoN

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onetis

man bro...no girl is worth all that trouble...let it be and forget about her
 

gav

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Re: familiar territory

Originally posted by Ol'BlueEyes

Speaking of which, I don't know how many times I've been tested by an HB, failed, than five minutes after the fact came up with the perfect line.
I wish I could come up with comebacks on the spot. Comes with experience, I guess.
exactly! just recently, i got asked "how many naked women have u seen then?" i was like eh? what kind of question's that so i just said lots, how about u. then i realised, hold on, her interest level was up, pick on that and say "don't u want to know"

thundermaverick - oneitis - u've put this girl on a golden pedestal; get her off it. u said in the past because women are insecure, u don't care about their opinions. It seems to me that u care about hers. pursue other women like u used to;

well done on the change in the first place btw. i hate putting a lot of effort in just to end up where i started
 

ThunderMaverick

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Gav, It's so freakin' funny man. It was so different before! I mean, these girls were cute, but I wasn't really interested. I was so comfortable around them I didn't sweat anything at all. I was normal. I could say anything! They came at me!!!


It's strange. When I'm myself around girls I don't persue, I get them. But when I want someone...

....I don't know what to say!


Damn, my mind was blank.
 

ThunderMaverick

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Ok.

So I have one week left

6 hours everyday with her.

What do I do? Do I just ignore her? Just BS her whenever I see her. I want to drop the whole persuing thing, but I don't want to be a rude ass about it.

Advice?
 

Tryin to Grow a Chin

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There is no girl so special that another can't make you forget her. You need more women.
 

Ice Cold

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You're a moron, but I like your writing style.

ASD man. What she did to you in the parking lot was ASD.

Cheer up. it's nothing major.
 

ThunderMaverick

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Waitaminute waitaminute.

d00ds, she didn't just dump me out of her car driving away from the resturant. We all (about 6 of us) were walking to the parking lot and she asked if I could get a ride with someone else.

Yah!!!!111oneone She was just tired, that's all! Yeah. That's it.


....

...shoot me.


Ok, she's done. For good!


BTW what's ASD?

I'm kinda new the the DJ Forum ebonics.
 

Ice Cold

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Most of the cars can only fit in 5 people, expecially if it's not some super large thing...

So friggin what? She asked not to get in the car...

So what? You should've walked away saying: "that's ok then. I don't live that far anyways"

But you want to be accepted and belong so much, that it caused you a nervous breakdown.


No matter how cool you are, you're not gonna be accepted in all groups of people. So just chill it off and act like nothing happened.


PS: I am not really clear as to what happened to the girl... Non linear storytellers usually confuse me.

1) You give her a massage...
2) She says she's gonna give you a ride...
3) On the parking lot there's 6 people and she asks that you get a ride from someone else
4) You have a nervous breakdown
5) She feels bad and still drives you home :D

PPS: ASD is the anti slut defence.

Basically it happens when the girl likes you and would have sex with you, but the societal principles are holding her back. For example if you push on for sex too strong, make her look easy or break the "good girl" image in any way in front of her friends.

Cheers. Take prozak :D
 

tactic

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It'd be great to give her a massage.
 

Do not be too easy. If you are too easy to get, she will not want you. If you are too easy to keep, she will lose interest in you. If you are too easy to control, she will not respect you.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

ThunderMaverick

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Ugh, you know what it is?

It's totally on me. I mean she totally shows signs that she might be interested. She's not repelled. I'm just insecure. It feels like I'm stepping on glass barefooted; I'm just ACTING so careful not to push her away; I don't want to cut myself.

It's st00pind because I become so damn meticulous. It's like "ok, genius, you know the formula. Act cool. Act differnt. Act like you don't want it.

Don't drool over her.

Don't show weakness

Always be positive.

Always be confidence.

Don't be emotional. If you are, she will be too.

Neg hits.

Eye contact.

Shoulders up. Head out. Don't cross your arms. Pace your emotions with her. Don't be around her when she's in a bad mood DON'T feed hercomplimentsDON'TactdespirateDON'TcallherDON'Tbringupselfemotionalconversationsdon'tdon'tdon'tdon'tdon'tdon'tdon'tdon't

Don't smoke beer. Don't drink marijuana. Don't squeeze the sharman. Don't look at me. Don't you do it, I have nowhere to go. Don't mix beer and NyQuil, EVER! Don't feed the magwies after 12 midnight. Don't sleep on a full stomachHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!!

SO MANY RULES TO THIS REDICULOUS GAME OF DATING! OR EVEN TALKING TO A FEMALE!

*sigh* It's frustrating. But we don't make the rules, the females do, right? If I want to be some dame's "dreamboat" I have to play the game. All a big game.

I do film projects with a couple of friends of mine and she still wants to act a part. She gave me a big hug today and she was her usual flirty self. I just freeze up. I FREEZE! If I keep it up, she will see that I'm a nut and will really truly be repelled.

I just gotta "Straighten up, bitch" like Robert DeNiro said to Bridget Fonda in Jackie Brown.

And for the record, I DID say "that's ok, I don't live that far. I'll walk." And I actually DID start walking away when she said that.

Then she said she felt bad. Then I protested that it was ok. We went back and forth for a few seconds. Then she took me home.

"It's no surprise to me I am my own worst enemy."

Wooh. How true.
 

Ol'BlueEyes

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calm down, man

Dude, the rules aren't absolute. You'll find that they don't work all the time, with every HB that comes down the pike.
What the rules do, is keep you from acting wussy and supplicating to a woman.
Your problem is you're hung up on this girl. Think of it as a fishing metaphor: your line is out, and she's a huge trophy fish that keeps nibbling on the bait...nibbling, nibbling, until the bait is no longer there. She's had her meal. Meanwhile you're on the shore wondering why you haven't caught this fish in two hours.
You should be out with OTHER girls.

Does every little tease, flirt and hug from her seem like a slow form of torture? IGNORE HER.
 
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