Had Recycled Sex with BPD Ex

[drummerdude27]

So after a few months of me going NC after our breakup back in June and frequent attempts on her part trying to get me to talk, I started to slowly talk to her little by little. Even denied to see her a few times. I gave in a few days ago, hung out, and it lead to sex. I really don't know why. Maybe its cause she would threw in the L word when we started communicating and saying how she thinks about me everyday. Either way, I should have known better that it was all bull****.

Funny how she was talking about my replacement(she never did admit she was seeing this person but I found out through a mutual friend), how she hated him. Etc. I know hes currently on tour in a band. I snooped on her social media page and the day after we had sex I see that she posted a pic of him saying "I sure miss this guys company". This chick is even befriending my replacements Ex..Is that crazy or what?

I have been doing good, spinning more than a few plates and had a few sexual encounters with different women. Sure enough though, no talk of anything that went on during our relationship when we hung out. But it lead to sex. With her even saying "I needed that" after we finished. And no text or anything from her since a few nights ago when it happened. I won't lie to say I feel a little bad, not as bad when we first broke up. But eh, Hopefully ill be ok soon.

Anyone been in that situation?
I know I am in for an eye/ear beating from you guys. But I guess I had to live and learn. Sorry to let ya'll down. I am just looking for help.

 

[christoff522]

So after a few months of me going NC after our breakup back in June and frequent attempts on her part trying to get me to talk, I started to slowly talk to her little by little. Even denied to see her a few times. I gave in a few days ago, hung out, and it lead to sex. I really don't know why. Maybe its cause she would threw in the L word when we started communicating and saying how she thinks about me everyday. Either way, I should have known better that it was all bull****.

Funny how she was talking about my replacement(she never did admit she was seeing this person but I found out through a mutual friend), how she hated him. Etc. I know hes currently on tour in a band. I snooped on her social media page and the day after we had sex I see that she posted a pic of him saying "I sure miss this guys company". This chick is even befriending my replacements Ex..Is that crazy or what?

I have been doing good, spinning more than a few plates and had a few sexual encounters with different women. Sure enough though, no talk of anything that went on during our relationship when we hung out. But it lead to sex. With her even saying "I needed that" after we finished. And no text or anything from her since a few nights ago when it happened. I won't lie to say I feel a little bad, not as bad when we first broke up. But eh, Hopefully ill be ok soon.

Anyone been in that situation?
I know I am in for an eye/ear beating from you guys. But I guess I had to live and learn. Sorry to let ya'll down. I am just looking for help.

Anyone who's been with a BPD will completely understand your situation. I do! A few weeks ago mine called me claiming to be raped, I went to white-knight her and lo and behold, she wants the D.
BPDs are not on our plane of existence, she was probably just turned on by you and wanted some, they tend to be quite sexually desperate, and have no self-control. I'm currently in NC with mine, not cos I don't want her b'gina, but cos of the emotional sh*t I just can't deal with.

You will feel bad, you feel like you've let yourself down, you also feel a little violated because you know she didn't do it out of love.

My recommendation is to go 60 days NC. Then if you can even more. Break the spell man.

Oh she isn't talking because of shame..she feels shame for cheating on your replacement.

 

[El Payaso]

The crazy thing about BPD women is that they are usually highly functioning women on the outside. Smart and creative. Sometimes successful professionals. On the inside though, it's a whole 'nother story.

Live and learn, OP. It has happened, it has happened. Nothing you van do about it now except to delete her from your life. Stop following her on social media. You'll only feel worse.

 

[drummerdude27]

Anyone who's been with a BPD will completely understand your situation. I do! A few weeks ago mine called me claiming to be raped, I went to white-knight her and lo and behold, she wants the D.
BPDs are not on our plane of existence, she was probably just turned on by you and wanted some, they tend to be quite sexually desperate, and have no self-control. I'm currently in NC with mine, not cos I don't want her b'gina, but cos of the emotional sh*t I just can't deal with.

You will feel bad, you feel like you've let yourself down, you also feel a little violated because you know she didn't do it out of love.

My recommendation is to go 60 days NC. Then if you can even more. Break the spell man.

Oh she isn't talking because of shame..she feels shame for cheating on your replacement.

You said you white knighted her. So did you show up and see her and just not have sex? Btw thanks for responding man. I've seen you around here with really good insight into BPD. Still haven't heard a peep from her. But I am actually feeling a bit better today. I am in the best shape of my life due to what she put me through for a year.

 

[drummerdude27]

The crazy thing about BPD women is that they are usually highly functioning women on the outside. Smart and creative. Sometimes successful professionals. On the inside though, it's a whole 'nother story.

Live and learn, OP. It has happened, it has happened. Nothing you van do about it now except to delete her from your life. Stop following her on social media. You'll only feel worse.

Mine was a waif. No real home/job but living with different shady types of people. Has family she could stay with but would only stay for a short time before she was out on the streets again. One thing I will say though is she was a great artist and intelligent. But she always did seem off and couldn't tolerate being in public places at all!

 

[buzzin_frog]

This BPD stuff is a load of crap....checking for BPD symptoms on a web site does not diagnose her as BPD....she needs to be diagnosed by a medical professional to determine if she has BPD....you're not a doctor!!

How desperate are you going back to an ex for meaningless sex?

Everybody talks the same game: "I'm in the best shape of my life spinning several plates."

Bullsh!t.....if you were spinning plates....there would be no reason to go crawl back to an ex for sex.....especially one who treated you like sh!t suspecting her of having BPD...you wouldn't need her having other plates!!

Now you have to start from the beginning all over again!!

 

[Krueg]

It is OVER!!! Sure she slept with you cause her new boyfriend is gone on tour and you were the next willing victim... Once you been dumped or whatever, it is over and no turning back. Time for you to move on, the next girl will be all over you!!

 

[drummerdude27]

This BPD stuff is a load of crap....checking for BPD symptoms on a web site does not diagnose her as BPD....she needs to be diagnosed by a medical professional to determine if she has BPD....you're not a doctor!!

How desperate are you going back to an ex for meaningless sex?

Everybody talks the same game: "I'm in the best shape of my life spinning several plates."

Bullsh!t.....if you were spinning plates....there would be no reason to go crawl back to an ex for sex.....especially one who treated you like sh!t suspecting her of having BPD...you wouldn't need her having other plates!!

Now you have to start from the beginning all over again!!

You didn't see my old thread. SHE IS BPD. She told me herself that she was diagnosed in high school but ignored the psychiatrist and walked out. This was in the honeymoon phase and I didn't pay much attention to it. Big mistake for me.

And bro, I AM spinning plates and in great shape cause I hit the weights hard and ate better. Thing is, you don't know how it is if you haven't dated a BPD before. You'll understand the day if/when you do.

 

[logicallefty]

Thing is, you don't know how it is if you haven't dated a BPD before. You'll understand the day if/when you do.

^^THIS I agree with. Even when you can get non-BPD sex, sometimes the sex from a BPD can be :crazy: I was having sex with my BPD ex until a few days ago, and an old FWB too. Only cut it off with BPD ex after some major disrespect, and, finding out she was making plans to break into my house. Fully done with her now, but it took this cr@p to get there.

 

[dk1990S111]

This BPD stuff is a load of crap....checking for BPD symptoms on a web site does not diagnose her as BPD....she needs to be diagnosed by a medical professional to determine if she has BPD....you're not a doctor!!

BPDs are great at putting on an act for the people around them. A lot of doctors have a hard time diagnosing BPDs because unless the BPD REALLY wants help, they are just going to continue their "normal" act.

Being in a relationship with someone for months or years will obviously bring times when a BPD will let their guard down and show their true colors.