h2o's approach journal

[h2o]

i found this site in sep04, and a while back i tried to do my own 'unofficial bootcamp,' which was basically talking to strangers and chicks. i learned from my experiences, but didn't really follow through with it b/c i was still in denial of my afc ways. i see myself as being a keyboard jockey for every post i've made before this one. i am finally true to myself, and i've changed a whole lot. i recently passed through an a-hole phase and repelled a few girls in the process (though i'd rather be repelled than ignored for being non-talkative). i've also experienced the stupidity of djing chicks i'm not attracted to. i'm starting to balance myself better. i also gained some weight, am exercising, reading more (rather than tv), dressing alot better, and socializing a lot more than i ever did, while maintaing alright grades and involvement in school/job.

i'm actually writing a journal b/c for one, it will somewhat force me to follow through. i won't stop posting until i finish. also, hopefully, i can further motivate others (like pugsley motivated me) and i hope i can get some constructive criticism as well.

about me. i'm 20, in college (which is where i'll be doing 95% of
my approaches), i'm a virgin, and here's my pic:
link removed per request

anyway, today was v-day, and i read somewhere (on this forum) that it was the best day to approach chicks. so i thought i'd do my first approach (of 100) today. as i usually do, i did chat up the girls i talk to everyday, but that doesn't count. well, at a late afternoon lunch at the dining hall, i spotted a really cute, i mean hb9 atleast as i walked in (and no, i'm not just saying hb9...she was really way above girls i usually see, with no makeup) sitting by herself. i got my food and purposely sat facing her, a few tables away, and tried to make ec as i ate. she didn't look up once. for some time, which seemed like an eternity as i pondered in my head whether i should approach or not, i sat there. this is where i realize the 3s rule is so important. ec or no ec i thought, fcuk it, i will never get this same opportunity again...on v-day with such a hot chick right in front of me and us two and one other person were the only ones in the entire place. even though i hesitated, i finally decided to go for it, and relaxed myself before standing (like, gave myself an inner, mental pep-talk). anyway, here's how are convo went:

me: hey (then smiled), mind if i sit down with you?
her: sure
me: (sat down) i noticed to you as i was walking in to the dining hall,
and i was interested in getting to know you
her: (smiled, blushed) oh, okay, hi (put her book down - no wonder no ec, she was reading)
me: so, what are you reading?
her: blah blah by jane austen
me: i've heard that name before, does she write romance novels?
her: yeah, basically chick flick type books

the whole time she was giving me a lot of ec and smiling a lot.

me: do you read a lot?
her: sometimes, when i'm eating
me: yeah, i read sometimes too when i come here alone
me: so, what's your name?
her: blah
me: blah, ok, my name is h2o
her: h2b...h2l...oh, h2o, ok, where are you from?

so i tell her about my name. then she tells me she has a cousin with some really cool name (cause she thought mine was interesting). and then we get into talking about where each other are from. for the most part i said little and she talked alot, i mean alot. she basically carried the convo. i just answered her occasional questions and bounced the rest back at her. she did seem interested, but then she has this boyfriend back in her hometown (far from here). i think she could tell that my interest dropped once she mentioned that (middle of our convo). anyway, i didn't even bother asking for her number after
that. i carried on for a few more minutes and then this is how i closed:

her: blah blah blah...
me: (somewhat cut her off) hey, i have to go.
her: huh?
me: i have to go
her: what time is it...let me see (looks at watch), oh, blah, ok.
me: yeah
her: well, it was nice meeting you, maybe i'll see you again on campus
me: yeah, same here, nice meeting, yeah, hopefully i'll see you around...or maybe hopefully i won't see you if you're doing blah since you're not very good at blah
her: (lol)
me: see ya
her: bye (and went back to reading)

i think i really need to work on closing. i find that i've done a similarly
stupid thing when meeting someone else a week ago. i think i need to be more gradual and atleast give a reason as to why i have to leave so abruptly. i honestly had to meet a friend by five, but i never looked at my watch, i just felt it was late.

anyway, that was my first approach. i know what it means when people on this site say that the stuff here will help you get better women. this chick was hot, intelligent, friendly, and approachable. i've met other less attractive girls that would freak out, get nervous, or put up a ***** shield when i approached them. it's not like i got her number or nailed her in any way, but i can see that i should have gone for the number and closed better b/c she's still single in this state. also, this approach made me feel sort of bad that i got unlucky and met a chick with a bf, but at the same time i feel awesome b/c i've never approached such a hot chick, and if i can approach her i can approach any girl.

anyhow, my objective is to do 100 approaches, with my deadline being by june, which is when i'll be turning 21. that's 3.5 months, but i give myself so much time b/c i'm not going to be sarging in my free time, just when i'm out and about on campus...i'll just make sure to take every opportunity that comes my way. that means i'll be approaching atleast once a day...schedule, weather, and other things permitting. and my goal is to go through with all 100 approaches asap (june is just a deadline...i'll probably finish sooner), trying to gain more confidence and
experience with women (hot ones i'm actually attracted to). i know that i'll get numbers in the process, so i won't worry about making that part of the goal and put pressure on myself (though i will improve on closing). also, if you read this, none of my next posts will be nearly as long as this one.

thanks for reading/support/comments. btw, big thanks to pugsley. you set a great precedent for us all to follow...best of luck to you with your gf.

day 1
approaches=1
closes=0

 

[Interpol]

That sounded like an awesome approach...but WHY didn't you ask for the number? It probably would've been a real easy pick-up...I just can't believe you didn't go for it...

 

[JiGGhaMan]

We in the same boat man. 20, virgin, and in college. I goto to UNCC (Charlotte).

Have fun...

 

[Avatar]

Good first approach until the end. You could have easily snagged her # man.

 

[h2o]

yeah, i know. the more i think about it, the more i realize that she was pretty much expecting/wanting me to ask for her number (especially since she told me how her v-day hadn't gone too well). i guess i just wasn't expecting it to go so well...it's like i was expecting failure, so i was lost at that point and just left b/c i didn't want to screw up or something. maybe i will see her again, who knows, but if not, i have to forget about her and move on to the next (even if she was damn hot)...don't want to get stuck thinking about the same girl. and if i don't do more approaches i will, so here's what i did today.

i was tired and sick, and i guess i let a lot of opportunities slide. but for the most part it was like they were too out of reach. like i'd see a hot chick but she was walking on the other side of the street. damn. anyway, around afternoon, i was walking back to my dorm and i spotted what appeared to be an hb6 or 7. she was by herself, and we were walking in opposite directions. i was walking pretty slowly, relaxed, listening to my music. i saw her (though she had sunglasses) i smiled and kept ec while
slowing down and walking toward her. she stopped close to me, and here's how it went:

me: hey (smiling...as i take off my earpiece headphones)
once she gets close i see that she is not even an hb4. she was a ug, but i decided to play it out anyway for my own experience.
her: hey (smiling also...then takes off her sunglasses - and i try to keep smiling...she wasn't much to look at at this point)
me: i just noticed you as i was walking and i was interested in getting to know you
her: well, i have a boyfriend
me: oh yeah? so, when are you getting married?
her: i don't know...
me: so it must not be that serious
her: (sort of laughed) no, it's serious, i'm in a long term relationship
me: okay, well have a nice day
her: ok, bye (as she's walking off)

well, i felt bad to have approached someone i'm not attracted to once she got closer. she seemed okay from far away wearing a tight shirt/pants, but not up close at all. anyway, i pulled through and just had fun with it. i won't count this as an approach though because i'm only going to count ones i do on girls i'm attracted to.

today i did see girls sitting in pairs, but approaching two girls is something i hadn't done before so i chickened out (even though i had some ec with one pair of cute hbs). i'm definitely going to get some more rest and hopefully feel more energized tomorrow to do atleast a few approaches.

hey JiGGhaMan, i go to ncsu, about 2hrs away from you.

day2
approaches=0
closes=0

 

[electron]

I think with the 1stapproach you really had an opportunity there, should have at least gone for the digits after all that!

Dude, is there any chance you will see/run into this girl again? Your window has definitely closed up a little but if you see her again I would still try for it.

 

[h2o]

well, yesterday i was feeling like complete **** because i was sick, and though i may have missed opportunities, i just don't care about **** when i'm sick. last night i slept early, and it seems like i have beat the virus.

anyway, today, at lunch, i spotted two cute blonde hbs sitting at different tables. i chose the hotter of the two, probably a hb8.8, damn she was smokin.' so, i circled their tables, sat by myself a few tables away. the two tvs were on in the dining hall, and it seemed like everyone was glued to 'the price is right,' including the two girls. i sat for a bit and ate some of my sandwich then went up and got another burger. once i got back to my table didn't sit down and just went over to the chick's table and asked "do you mind if i sit here (the seat across from her...in front of the tv - though the tv was farther behind me).

this is how our convo went:

me: hi (smiling)
her: hi (also smiling back)
me: i just noticed you and was interested in getting to know you
her: (bigger smile, showing teeth), okay

there was like a 2 second silence...we just smiled and looked at each other

her: my name is blah
me: ok, blah, my name is h2o
her: h2l...h2r...oh, ok, h2o
me: yeah

for some goddamn reason my initial approaches with hot chicks seem to be going great. and that's probably why i get even more nervous, because i don't expect to get this far so soon...like, wtf?

me: so you like 'the price is right'?
her: yeah, i used to watch it a lot when i was growing up
me: yeah, me too

anyway, we keep talking...and i am slow to relax. at first my hand trembles as i try to drink and pick up my sandwich (and i think she noticed that). i can't fcuking relax. it takes a while
but i finally calmed down. but after that i blushed a lot...though she did too. we made a lot of eye contact and she smiled a whole lot...but i wasn't telling jokes, and i took a lot of time to answer the questions she bounced back at me. like, i asked what she does in her free time or for fun...she had a perfect gpa,
taking more credits than me, working 3 jobs, so doesn't have much time for fun...when she asked what i do in my free time, i stalled...because i guess i don't do much either even though i did somewhat of a neg hit and said she was a boring person for not having fun. i felt bad after that. i think when i felt bad or uncomfortable she could sense it.

anyway, we had a lot in common...same major, year, her brother went to my hs, she went to same hs my sis goes to now. she did give long responses, but i had to carry the convo, and didn't do too well. i think she got bored with me and not too much ec near the end of our convo. she waited for me to finish, and we got up to leave (she initiated that we leave...it wasn't very "manly" of me to let her lead). anyway, we walked out and still talking. then when we got to where we were about to depart i said...

me: i'd like to do this again sometime...like maybe over coffee. like, would you like to join me for coffee sometime next week...
her: (smiled)
me: ...oh, you probably don't have time...i meant, if you have time.
her: uh, okay
me: well, then can i get your phone number?
her: (smiled, blushed), well the phones in our dorms don't work...
me: (cutting her off) ...and your cell is broken too, right?
her: yeah (smiling)

again, like when we met, we just stared at each other and smiled for about 2-3 seconds, and in my mind i was thinking 'goddamn it...' but just said, "ok well see you around," and she just said "bye"

i honestly don't think she was lying about the phone b/c she told me during our convo at lunch that her cell was broken. also, she has a bad relationship with her parents where they don't pay for **** but tuition, so she probably doesn't have enough money for a phone. even the necklace and earrings she was wearing she'd made herself...which looked awesome and i compliment that.

anwway, if she wasn't lying, i can see how i failed to keep the conversation fun. either way, i think i made some mistakes again. i started out so well (except for the being nervous part).

next time i need to go with the expectation that i'll nail her. if i don't i'll fail just because that's the only expectation on my mind. i just think it would be that simple. does anyone have any advice for this?

to anyone who still isn't approaching...even if you don't get the number, you'll love the feeling you get after the approach, it's fcuking awesome.

i may do more approaches today, but just couldn't wait to post this fr.

 

[h2o]

ok, didn't get more approaches in today, but i'll do more tomorrow.

so,

day4
approaches=1
closes=0
total approaches=2
total closes=0

 

[h2o]

3/2/05

last week i had a lot of **** to do for school, etc. the friday night of that week i went to hooters with my friend. it was my first time there, and it wasn't what i'd imagined it to be; i didn't like it much, and especially since our waitress wasn't flirty at all. i asked her to do some hoola-hooping and she just laughed
at me? anyway, screw that...we went to a party afterward. we got there at about 2am...and by that time most of the girls had left, and the guys left were all drunk. i did meet a few girls, but none that i found attractive anyway. problem was that i was pretty much sober the whole time we were there since we got there long after the party had started, and i hadn't drank before. anyway, i'll get some rest before partying this friday.

anyway, i also decided that i won't post as often, and keep my posts to the point. especially since i am doing 100 approaches, i don't want to flood the board with my posts. i also wanted
to mention that i learned that i should shorten my approaches. i started out approaching girls while they're eating, and that takes way too long...i also hadn't been approaching without much eye contact / smiling prior to the approach (any signals or connection). so i've tried to improve on these aspects.

2/21/05

i was eating lunch with my friend in the dining hall and spotted this hb9 (no joke...you guys are going to think i just throw around high hb#s b/c i'm easily impressed or something, but i'm being honest). anyway, on my way out i just went to her table (sitting by herself), and used avatar's line (thanks):

me: hey there, sorry to bother you, but i was on my way out and just wanted to get your name.
her: ok (smiling), my name is blah
me: my name is h2o (extend my hand and shake hers), nice to meet you
her: ...
me: do you have a class later today?
her: yeah, i got one blah blah blah
me: i do too, same time...well, i really have to go, but i'd like to get to know you better, so would you like to go for some coffee some time next week? (smiling at her)
her: (smiling also) ah...
(2 sec silence while we smile at each other)
me: ...if you're single?
her: well, actually, i just started dating someone.
me: ok, that's no problem (getting up)
her: ...i'm sorry, i would go with you if i wasn't...
me: that's okay, have a nice day
her: it was nice meeting you
me: yeah, it was nice meeting you too

i had a feeling she wasn't interested once she didn't ask me how i pronounce my name...since most people do ask that. anyway, np. the other thing i realized after this approach was that now i do have the confidence to approach, i need to work more on establishing good rapport. i can't just go for a number that quick, without a connection. > i need better rapport.

same day, before class i was trying to get change for a five to buy a drink from a vending machine. i asked a black hb7 for change, and she said "let me see..." (looking in her purse), then just walked up to the machine and bought me the soda i wanted. i was a bit baffled/confused...tried to get her name, which i did. i realized also that i'd held the door for her earlier...still a bit weird, though kinda cool. this doesn't count as an approach by any means..probably should subtract 1 from my total number of approaches since i ****ed up this opportunity too by not getting her digits.

3/1/05

after dinner, as i was walking out of the eatery, i spotted a chick sitting back to me. as i walked past, i turned my head to look at her face, and she was okay, maybe an hb6. she half smiled at me
and we made ec (i wasn't smiling though). anyway, i had walked a little farther, then thought i should turn back and approach her. i walked back and said...

me: hey (smiling), you caught my eye as i was walking by and i was wondering if i could get your phone number, and maybe we could go for some coffee sometime?
her: (smiling), i'm sorry i have a boyfriend
me: that's okay (smiling), it was worth a try anyway
her: (smiling) ...i'm sorry
me: np, have a good one...

it did seem like she was waiting for someone anyway.

3/2/05

at dinner my friend left to take a phone call. earlier i'd spotted a cute (or what i thought was a cute chick) sitting with her friend two tables away. her side was to me, so i kept trying to make
ec, and did a few times with her friend (who faced me), but unfortunately i don't think her friend told her i was glancing at them. anyway, when my friend was away, i approached them.

me: hey, do you mind if i sit down for a sec?
her friend: sure
me: how are you guys doing?
them: (very shy)...okay
me: (smiling...relaxed, and turn to the chick i thought was cute...and upon approaching i'd realized she's not even an hb4...) so what year are you?
them: freshman
me: i'm a sophomore...well, anyway (turning to her), i'd like to get to know you...so what do you like to do for fun?
her: ...
me: ...so maybe we can hang out sometime...
her: ...well, i'm pretty busy this week and next week i'm going away
me: (i'd gotten the uninterested vibe from the start)...okay, it was nice meeting you both
them: ...

i just walked back to my table. -

first, i've realized that hotter girls are better for approaching b/c atleast they know what is going on. i don't think these chicks had ever been 'pick-ed up' before. the girl i thought i wanted actually seemed pretty nervous (her friend was more relaxed - though i should've made ec). i now know i am confident. i can approach a two set in a packed dining hall without giving a **** what anyone thinks (and really no one else cares). and that's why i'll count this experience as one approach, b/c it means to me that i've made much progress.

later i told my friend (who's somewhat afc), and we laughed about it. anyway, he said that what i did terrible b/c it's a blow to my reputation if anyone i know is watching. in a way he is right. anyway, he continued to tell me how i should def. make ec, and smile, wait for her to smile back then approach. and then make sure the convo flows, etc. i agree, but, the fact is, if i try to do all my approaches like that, i would probably only get 15 approaches by my june deadline, since 'perfect' situations like that are hard to come by. true, i'll take that advice (which i knew already), and try to not blow it with times that i can actually establish eye contact / smile. but for all other times i will use the 3sec rule b/c if ec doesn't happen, i may never see her again, and i can't live my life always waiting for something to happen; i have to make it happen. also, going by the results of my first approach, it totally disproves the need for ec. btw, i don't have oneitis, but i seriously wish i would run into that one chick again. i totally blew that opportunity. i feel so stupid b/c i miss the times the girl is interested then am persistent when she's not interested and sometimes even when i've lost interest too.

3/3/05

now, i usually don't cuss so damn much. i'm actually more frustrated at myself for blowing another perfect opportunity (probably two...though one is more significant). tonight i met this beautiful iranian girl (damn close to hb9.5) who was definitely interested in me. then what do i do? i ****ing forget to get her ****ing phone number. what the ****. i don't know why i am so ****ing stupid. i don't even mention hanging out or anything, i just leave - and when i was leaving i noticed her looking around...probably wondering where i went. what's more frustrating is watching some other guy go for her phone number (i do know him though, so maybe i can get in touch with her somehow...please...) as i was leaving. that should have been me. she's asked me what my name was. she was interested in me. wtf is my problem. i even caught her eyes checking me out more than once. i just have a tendency to blow the best opportunities. this morning i think i actually ran into that first hot chick i'd approached on vday. i made eye contact, but wasn't sure if it was her or not. no wonder she looked at me like she was dissappointed that i didn't remember her or something. god damn it. what the ****. i should have atleast said something
instead of just standing there. i feel like ****ing crying. i am pathetic. i talk to hb9s and don't get anywhere. i hate this. i ****ing hate this. i don't have oneitis, but it's just that i can't keep on missing **** like this.

sorry for the long post...but it just piled up, and i somewhat had to vent on that last entry.

total approaches=5
total closes=0

btw, i know i haven't done many approaches, but i still feel like i'm def. making progress (in terms of gaining confidence - damn sure i'm not getting phone numbers b/c i'm such a ****ing idiot), and i'm definitely going to keep going until 100.

 

[alphawolfx]

yea bro

keep it up, you'll get there

while you're at it check out bristollair.com

 

[stalluproar]

Most of your initial approaches (except for flat asking her out) seemed pretty smooth. It seems the problem is you are drawing out your conversations a little too long. My suggestion to approach as you are doing. Talk about two things to get some rapport going. Then tell her something like this, "Hey, it was great meeting you. I have to run to get some things done with school. I'll talk to you later. (Then start to turn, stop, turn back) By the way, do you have email? (Let her answer yes, if she says no, ask her if she is undercover or an imposter in the school, because everyone has email) Here write it down. (Have a paper and pen handy). Write your phone number down there too. "

The key to getting her info is being assumptive. Do the opposite of that 4.0 chick with 11 jobs and no life. You suggested to hang out with her (which is good), but you ruined it when you followed it up with if you have time.

You'll get there man!

 

[h2o]

finally a close...also, how to deal with swarming ****blocks?

hey thanks alphawolfx, i've bookmarked that site.

thanks to you stalluproar. i do agree that i'm maybe conversing too long, and i'm trying to keep them short. yeah, when i need to stop being hesitant about stuff also...when i'm relaxed i can be pretty smooth and natural. and i know that the more approaches i do the easier it will be for me to simply 'turn on/off' that smoothness and ability to approach any time / any where.

in fact, i would like to say that it has become quite easy for me to flash a genuine smile at any time; this used to be impossible for me to do several months ago.

anyway, back to my approaches and journal...

...3/4/05

i was just walking on campus (which was pretty empty since it was the day before spring break), while listening to my tunes, and talking to my friend on the phone. then i spotted this hb7 walking towards me. i made eye contact, and so did she. i told my friend i'd call him back then walked up to her, and as i smiled so did she.

me: don't i know you from somewhere? (she looked somewhat familiar actually)
her: i don't know...
me: (just smiled)
her: my name is blah
me: my name is h2o...nice to meet you (shook her hand)
me: where are you headed to?
her: blah
(some more fluff talk while both smiling, lots of ec)
me: well, would you like to go for some coffee sometime, because i'd like to get to know you
her: ...sure
me: okay, well let me get your phone number
her: ###
me: ok, thanks, whatcha doing for spring break?
her: blah
me: awesome...have a good break, see ya
her: thanks, bye

nice, 1/6 so far. she seemed to have good IL too, since she made ec first. and was smiling the whole time too. that was so easy.

that's been my last one. i didn't do any approaches over spring break since i spent the whole week at home with my family and didn't go out at all. and, i'm not going to call the chick who's number i got since she probably wouldn't remember me...or would she? (i think i'm getting pretty good at reading IL, and hers didn't seem that high that she'd remember me now)

anyway, i'm going to do more approaches, so don't worry i'm not getting lazy by any means, just getting more efficient.

________________________________________________

following is unrelated to my approaches, but somewhat related to the journal. it is also an excellent read that is very much related to oxide's post "the post that changed my ways" (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=42390)

ok, if you read my last post in this thread, i talked about meeting an hb9.5 but not getting her number. she had high IL because she was attracted to me...at that gathering where i first met her, i was known/recognized by everyone, i was a 'prize' to her...she wanted to get to know me (it seemed at the time).

my assumption turned out to be correct. tonight there was another much larger gathering with everyone from the first gathering and probably a hundred more. once i walked in the room, she spotted me and locked eyes on me - i mean locked...she was freaking staring at me constantly, and occasionally smiling. the problem is that the guys in that organization are ****ing ****blocks. everytime i tried approaching, they would be there and interrupt. i couldn't even say a complete sentence to her.

it pissed me off because i know if i had a chance with her alone it would've been a wrap. these guys didn't understand the same thing explained in oxide's thread, about the push - pull. they were pushing her, forcing her to go with their needs/wants. while everytime i saw her with them she was freaking staring at me constantly. i don't think i've ever even been checked out that much before...her eyes were all over me the whole time.

after trying to approach a few times and getting blocked i just gave up. i was like '**** it' that's why i'm pissed though. there was a point that we (3 guys / 3 girls) were standing in a group and chatting (though i didn't say ****, since their convo was whack and boring)...the chick was there, and though one of the cbs was making her laugh, i just walked off...like wtf? seriously, i know she wants me so **** off man.

anyway, they kept swarming her (that's really how it was...they would all huddle around her and she would keep peeping her head out of the huddle to sneak stares at me). i think she felt the whole fact that i got tired of trying to approach her. but after while she started just minding her own business too and stopped staring, though i was also not caring if she looked or not anymore (so she may have still been doing so i don't know). anyway, a little later one of my friends (who's a girl, about an hb8) shows up, and i naturally have to introduce her to everyone. though it usually is a good thing when a girl who is attracted to you sees that you have other cute friends who are girls, i'm not sure if it helped in this situation. i think it more than likely actually sent the hot chick the message that i'm not interested in her cause i have other cute friends? i don't know, i just don't want her to lose interest just because i couldn't do anything tonight.

sure, i'm going to see her again this friday night at another gathering, but my friend is coming with me (the hb8). also, again, the same ****ing ****blocks will be there, so it will be the same situation. wtf can i do? i want this chick...and it seems like she wants me (hopefully still), but it seems like the odds are against me/us.

one idea i have is that if she is still checking me out this time (since this next gathering is a bit smaller)...maybe i can just take her arm and lead her somewhere quieter and hopefully do something that way...i just hope those a-holes don't follow me like a swarm of bees.

anyway, i think the above does relate to oxide's post, big time. i would appreciate any advice you could give me as to what i could do to get across to her. i know she is interested, but if i don't do anything soon i will either seem gay or weak, and even worse is that i actually am interested also...i just don't want all that trouble. help please?

________________________________________________

total approaches=6
total closes=1 (though like i said, i won't call her...unless anyone thinks i should?)

 

[h2o]

i'm back

ok, so i haven't posted my progress here in a while. i've realized that when i haven't taken care of my health / studies / family, that women are the last priority on my mind, so i just didn't do any approaches for a while. bad decision, but atleast i got my **** back together, and i'm back on track now. i think having failed last month and being faced with certain obstacles have only made my mindset stronger and made me more motivated to change and better myself. so, i'm aiming to do atleast 50 approaches this month.

i did my first approach in quite a while today. a few days ago i'd written a personal journal (on my own computer, that i sometimes go back and read to reflect - rather than take up space on sosuave and pointlessly vent, which i've noticed happens too often here) about feeling like **** the past few weeks, and have decided to make the month of april the best month ever. so, i did an approach as i was leaving lunch. i caught her glance as she was walking behind me as i had accidentally turned around. when she happened to sit at the table behind me i said that i'd noticed her earlier and wanted
to just get her name.

me: i'm on my way out, but i noticed you earlier and wanted to get your name
her: you wanted to get my name?
me: yeah (smiling)
her: (smiled/blushed and looked down, then said) my name is blah
me: haven't heard that one before, that's a pretty name...my name is h2o
her: (tries pronouncing my name right)
- we shake hands -
me: mind if i sit down for a minute to get to know you?
her: sure
me: so ... (sort of at a loss for words...possibly over-analyzing the situation)
..what's your major?
her: blah
- some silence -
me: ok, well i have a class to get to...it was nice meeting you
her: yeah, ok, bye
me: see ya

i guess this approach didn't really flow into rapport as i'd expected it would. also, i realized that she was nervous, with her hands under the table...i've learned this a previous approach that it's a sign that she's not interested. that's cool though, b/c it was probably my fault for not being relaxed and creating the 'akwardness.' i was a bit rusty anyway from not having done any approaches in so long. that's okay though, i'm definitely learning from my mistakes.

4/2/05

didn't do any approaches today though i really should have done atleast one, because i definitely had the opportunity to. at breakfast in the dining hall, as i was taking up my tray, i dropped my empty cup. as i went to pick it up, i heard a few people clapping behind me, making fun of the fact that i dropped the cup. i turned around, and they were 3 hbs sitting, and one of them, i'd say an hb8 looked at me and smiled. i smiled back but just went back to my table. i should have really approached her and made some c&f comment. what an opportunity ... it makes me feel like an idiot. it's probably because from the moment i had sat down to eat i'd set my eyes on another chick sitting by herself at the table across from us. i was never really able to make eyecontact with her, and saw her checking out a guy that walked passed her table, so i never approached. from this experience and others i have realized that one of my biggest problems is losing opportunities that i have in going after girls that usually are not interested in me. heck, this girl at the other table wasn't even as cute as the one who smiled at me. i don't know why i'm so stupid sometimes. even as i was leaving some other guy walk up from behind and approach that chick and start talking to her. and that's why i really think i lost 2 opportunities today. i spent the rest of the day working on a project.

4/3/05-4/4/05

didn't do any approaches on sunday or monday either - way too busy with my project.

4/5/05

spotted a blonde hb7.5 standing by herself near the bus stop. here's how it went:

me: hey (smiling)
her: hey (sort of shy, but smiled also)
me: i just noticed you standing by yourself and wanted to get to know you
her: (laughed/smiled, looked down and blushed)
me: so what's your name?
her: blah
me: nice to meet you blah, my name is h2o
her: are you usually this forward with women?
me: yeah (didn't expect that question), uh, i've found it's the easiest way to go
me: so what're you waiting around for?
her: the bus...blah blah (how it sucks she has to wait for so long)

(more fluff talk as she became relaxed ... she's same major that i switched from, and was in cali for break, like i was ... so a little something in common ... she also mentioned that when i walked up to her she thought i knew her or something ... i guess it's because i walked up so relaxed and smoothly)

her: (sees her bus) oh, there's my bus ... it was nice meeting you
me: (now walking with her to where it stops), well it was nice meeting you too, how
bout i get your phone number, and we hang out sometime?
her: well i have a boyfriend ... but i'm sure i'll see you around campus
me: yeah that's cool, take it easy

i really like how she asked if i'm 'this forward with women.' i was pretty comfortable the whole time and relaxed, which is why i guess she was willing to open up and just chat - she seemed pretty relaxed too. how would you guys answer a question like that? just curious.

later in the day i saw a f'n hot asian chick walking in my direction...but goddamn it she was on the phone. she was wearing a really short skirt and damn, i shouldv'e done something on that one. man i hate how all these chicks are on the phone when they're alone. though it was also because when she was walking past me another chick, about an hb6, walked by in front of me and smiled. i was so over-analytical of which one to approach that i lost both opportunities.

from now on though, i'm only going to post every 10 approaches.

 

[S0LID]

hey man, you pritty good at the fluff talk side of things. There are other approaches though. Thing is, when your saying to these girls "I noticed you........", she instantly knows your intrested. When you approach with a question or opinion opener you have more of a chance to show how intresting you are when you hit her with a story, then fluff talk, then close. If she asks for your name then this is a sign of intrest. But hey man, i'm just being a keyboard jockey and your doing alot better than me at the moment so keep it up

good luck

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

h20, I just want to say that your posts are awesome. You are doing what most of the guys on this site only dream about.

Whatever happened with the hot Iranian chick?

 

[h2o]

i actually haven't done 10 approaches since i last updated my approach journal, but i thought i'd post anyway since i feel sort of stuck now. if you read Don Giovanni's new tip, One Hundred Girls: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=73391 then you know what i mean by feeling stuck.

as far as the iranian chick goes...we had this sort of spring celebration event. and, for the most part i got a kick of reality from it, or maybe rather a kick of afc-ness back in my system.

they played music there and being that i can't dance very well, i didn't try dancing with her. i just danced on the sidelines with my friend (a girl) who i'd brought along as a guest, as she danced with other guys. i also made the mistake of talking way too much with her at the beginning of the night...acting clingy and ****. i don't know what got into me. the fact is though, i haven't been clubbing, and i think i really need to go to improve that aspect of my game. this event was very much like a club atmosphere, and i didn't feel comfortable much. i did dance a little, but not that much...and not nearly at the level of some of the guys there. for the most part i was in awe at how well some of them danced.

i'm over the girl, as she her interest level seem to hit rock bottom after that night. i don't really care about her much, it just made me realize that simply having a girl be interested in me on certain levels is not enough. i can't capture her attention then let it drop when i'm somewhere where dancing is involved. i need to improve all aspects of my game, not just approaching and confidence. - though those are two aspects i think i've made quite a bit of progress on.
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also, as far as:

Originally posted by S0LID
hey man, you pritty good at the fluff talk side of things. There are other approaches though. Thing is, when your saying to these girls "I noticed you........", she instantly knows your intrested. When you approach with a question or opinion opener you have more of a chance to show how intresting you are when you hit her with a story, then fluff talk, then close. If she asks for your name then this is a sign of intrest. But hey man, i'm just being a keyboard jockey and your doing alot better than me at the moment so keep it up

good luck

goes, i'm gonna try and make more situational comments to start rapport from now on. i guess that's a better way to get the girl comfortable and relaxed rather than just hit on her from the start. though, i personally feel that making the comment of wanting to get to know her is something i'm more comfortable with, though i'll try to reserve such comments for further into rapport. i feel that blatantly admiting my desire to get to know her is more of a challenge and at the same time it's the truth, so i'm more at ease myself too.

 

[h2o]

4/7/05

didn't do any approaches on this day. i saw this hb9, but ended up being a girl i'd approached once before. again she seemed pretty uninterested. i need to remember that the more i push, the more she will pull. so i did one approach but it doesn't count.

4/8/05

after eating lunch, i'd begun to jog, when i spotted a cute chick. i slowed to walking pace, and as she came closer i made eye contact. she looked down. i took this as her acknowledging me but may have been shy. she was walking pretty fast (it was raining). i was able to stop her though, here's what went down:

me: excuse me...(as she was almost past me)
her: (stopped and turned around)...yea?
me: (paused, smiled, took a full 2 seconds to check her out...it was raining, her hair was wet, and she was about an hb8 with the wet hair and tight shirt, i think it made her an hb8.5)...well, uh, i don't like letting opportunities pass me by, and i'd like to get to know you.
her: (smiled, blushed and looked down) what's your name?
(from this point on i was again a bit taken by surprise that she basically asked all the questions and carried the convo ... again i was surprised that i had succeeded and that it was so damn easy)
me: h2o
her: ? ...h2o?
me: yeah, what's your name?
her: blah
(some fluff talk ... )
her: so, uh, let me give you...my...screenname (as she reaches into her purse, gets
a paper and pen and writes it for me)
me: where are you off too?
her: my friend has a birthday party tonight ... blah blah blah (keeps talking opens up pretty relaxed as she writes her sn)
me: ok, well i'll get in touch with you... have fun at the party
her: ok, it was nice meeting you (smiles, waves bye)
me: it was nice meeting you too

damn, if i wasn't so shocked that approaching can be so easy sometimes, i would have asked her for her phone number. but in a way, i also think getting her sn is still okay since i can become friends with her, and i'm looking for some new friends anyway. for those who this approach journal may be helpful too...approaches can be damn easy if you notice the girl has the slightest bit of interest. read some more posts about body language...they can be very helpful.

4/13/05

ok, so i chatted with that chick last night online; i'd ask her questions, and she kept on flipping them and saying "what about you?" at the end she said sorry for "cutting the coversation short." i get the feeling she's not taking me seriously, like when i approached her she didn't say "awww" but the expression was on her face. i think the only way i can get chicks to not think i'm just cute and be like "aww" is to workout and gain some more weight. i've gained quite a bit since i found this site, but i'm still pretty thin. i'm 5'9" and went from 123 to 144 in oct04-dec04, and now am around 139. i'd been laying off the weights due to an injury, but i'm going to hit the gym from now on. i doubt that having a muscular body will result in more "aww"s. i think that's what separates the boys from the men. i deleted her off my aim ist after that convo.

i felt a bit stupid after this because she probably wasn't interested to begin with and just quickly asked me questions and gave me her sn to get it over with. actually, when i think about it, her asking me the questions makes me feel like she was screening me to see if it was okay for me to 'enter' her world. i guess i failed by letting her even do that. i just stood back and let her dominate. i learned from this though.

sometimes i think to myself why i don't have a gf. there are probably tons of girls out there i could hit it off with but i just am so damn picky. in fact, the majority of my approaches have been on blondes. i've been approaching too many chicks that are out of my league (according to gunwitch's method) and ignoring those that probably are in my league.

3 approaches so far for april. damn i'm slow. and way too picky, i need to approach more and not be so picky.

so, here are my goals. maybe it will encourage me to do more approaches, or more often.


/*my goals:
1. to become comfortable talking to any attractive woman i spot...still working on this because i do hesitate and decide against approaching sometimes when there are too many people
around...i want girls to feel attracted to my presence, or atleast be more relaxed/comfortable around me, like the feeling of having known me when we just meet*/

4/14/05

did an approach today. spotted an hb7 sitting and reading. here's how it went:

me: hey (smiling)
her: hey (slight smile)
me: i noticed you sitting by yourself and i hate letting opportunities pass me by so i was wondering if i could get to know you..? (immediately i regretted having formed a question out of this)
her: okay (big smile)
me: (smile...and sat down next to her)...what's that you're reading? (i also hesitated a bit and somewhat looked for her approval of me sitting down - another bad move...i guess that even though i wasn't really nervous, that this made her nervous probably)
her: psychology
me: yeah i took that last semester, psy200 right?
her: yeah...
me: who do you have?
her: blah
me: i had blahblah...it's a nice class...so, what's your name?
her: blah
me: blah? my name is h2o
her: (tries pronounciation...i correct her, gets it right...)
me: so what do you like to do for fun?
her: mmm...i don't know (both of us smiling at this pt...though i think she was because she was nervous ...i also noticed her fidgeting a little...though when i notice this stuff i
don't make it obvious that i noticed)
me: well, would you like to go for some coffee sometime?
her: (smiling...) ah...we can...?
me: ok, well, why don't i get your phone number and i'll give you a call.
her: okay...wait, i just got a call, i've been waiting for this call for a while, as she pulls out her phone
me: oh, you've been waiting for it? i see...
her: yeah, sorry
me: okay, later (and just walked off)

yeah, i'm an idiot. i can't just walk up and ask her on a date with no ****ing rapport. didn't hear her phone ring, even if it was on vibrate i didn't hear it vibrate...she even picked up and said 'hey wassup' ...if she was faking she must have really wanted to avoid the situation...i must have completely freaked her out especially since i approached with no eyecontact. i was pretty relaxed the whole time, and she seemed to show IL but was probably just being nice...atleast she was really nice about it and really good at faking it...though i figured it out.

4/25/05

well, haven't done approaches in a while. though an interesting thing happened to me today. i was waiting for the elevator in the library and some chick comes to wait for the elevator also, but funny thing is she comes and stands right next to me, less than one foot away. ...she initiates conversation by mentioning something about the elevator being slow. i made some fluff talk about the stuff she was carrying. she starts to head towards the stairs as the elevator arrives. i tell her it's here, she turns around and asks if there is anyone else on it...i say yeah. she says, "never mind i'll just take the stairs, i hate to be the one going up only a floor or two when there's a bunch of people." i say, "are you sure?" and as i get on, i see the 2nd floor button lit "...hey, there's someone going to the 2nd floor." i notice an hb9 to my left who giggles and makes ec. i say "yeah, she was going to the 3rd floor..." she laughs again...trying to hold in a big laugh i'd say. she giggles again when two people walk off onto the 2nd floor, and i smile at her. when i walk off to the 6th floor she and her friend (hb5) burst out laughing...i hear her friend say "way to insult people you don't even know," i'm assuming referring to me. i know they were laughing at me, but still with more time i think i could have number closed the hb9 to my left.

i had two great opportunities to number close two hot chicks. the one waiting with me outside the elevator...she was definitely standing closer than normal to me for a reason. most girls don't usually stand THAT close when they don't know me and then initiate conversation. then that really cute chick on the elevator was responding well to me too. i guess this is where the inexperience with closing quickly on approaches really hurts. i'm usually pretty slow at approaches...even started out doing approaches during lunch and sit with the girl for a long amount of time. i need to really learn to pick up the pace and be able to close more quickly. elevators are great btw...you just have to be really good though.

i especially was thrown off a bit since i've been in the library studying all day...being internally focused and all doesn't especially help when you see a hot chick and have less than a minute of time to talk, make rapport, #close.

btw, someone posted a fr about #closing at a library recently. he's right about there being a ton of hot hbs in the library this time of year.
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after school ends in may, i have about a week or two before summer school courses start, and i'm going to make a short trip to charlotte, which is 2hrs away. there, i'm going to attempt the One Hundred Girls, deal that Don Giovanni advised. until then i'll continue to try and do more approaches.

 

[h2o]

ok, so i've been reading some of 2ndTour's tips from a while back...big thanks to djbr for bumping them. these are gold. if you haven't checked them out, please do so. i was stuck for a while, and this is exactly what i need to hear. i'd consider myself middle of the road now, since i'm getting used to approaching, but not getting enough numbers yet.

anyway, i've decided to forget about all the approaches i did before this point. in addition to 2ndTour's tips, i've recently visited Eternal's site and read one or two motivational posts there with regards to fear of approaching. i've adopted a completely new attitude on approaches, and i do them solely for the purpose of facing my fear. in otherwords, i do them for ME. that way, it doesn't matter one bit what actually goes on in the interaction itself. i do make notes of what i may have done good/bad, and will post details so as to get feedback. i'll try to improve on my closing rate, but in the back of my mind, I AM DOING THIS FOR ME...be selfish about it.

i actually think i've gotten over the fear of approaching in general, but now i find obstacles when i'm out with friends and somewhat hesitate when i'm not alone. i also need to go to clubs and get some experience in those environments. although i need to work on improving my closing rate, if i follow 2ndTour's tips at the same time and just do tons more approaches, i'm bound to be successful.

one more thing...i only started doing approaches a little while ago. i can't imagine how much i would have improved my game had i started doing this last year. it's no wonder members like SuperGigaloDJ, Mr. MysteryII, and others (whom i can't specifically think of right now) emphasize cold approaches so damned much. it is the ultimate way to improve your game. start doing them and you will believe it. i certainly know damned well too, since my uncle met his wife through a cold approach years ago in a restaurant.

applying these new thoughts for just one day made me do more daring approaches than before. don't get me wrong, reading is no 'magic pill,' you do have to get out there and do it. i've created a small notepad file on my desktop in which i've pasted 2ndTour's tips and a few other short approach tips (ones that are based on mindset...not lines and techniques...inner mindset is more important than anything), and i will read the file every morning. may even print it out and keep it in my pocket/wallet.
____________________________________________________________________________________________

4/29/05

Approach#1

walking out of building, i noticed 2 hb blondes sitting on the ground smoking. 1 hb8, the other a hb8.5. i'd never approached 2 before, but remembering who i was really doing it for, i went forth with it.

i smoothly approached, made ec, smiled to hb8 on the right. the other was on the phone with a friend...so not exactly a real 2 set, but oh well.

me: hey
her: hey
me: i see you two sitting here on the ground smoking every morning...what's the deal with that?
her: well, it's nice and warm next to the vent
(it was actually warm as i got closer)
me: yeah, seemed like to had like a little ritual or something
her: lol

i proceed to ask her name. she tells me, and tells me her friend's name (who is still on the phone, but makes brief ec with me). i tell her my name. she says it's interesting; i tell her my nationality. anyway, i proceed with fluff talk about heading back to my dorm to sleep, she starts talking about her exams. turns she has a similar class as me (but a lower level) and has exam on same day. (i didn't sit next to her...just stood over her and chatted...i was about to sit down, but decided against it). i was like "how about i get your phone number and we go for some coffee sometime?" she was like ...ah, and looked at her purse..."ah, i don't know, i have a boyfriend, and he'd probably shoot me if i started hanging around with another guy...maybe if you had asked to study together..." i smiled...would've thought of something c&f, but i hadn't slept the night before, so i just smiled and said "that's cool...yeah, well we could study together..." and she said..."do you need help? well...nah, you're a level above me, so you know more than me." i was about to offer to help her study, but decided against it. she smiled and said, "but i'll definitely see you on wednesday for the exam..." i just said "okay, well, good luck on your exam...yeah, see ya"

i didn't have an ounce of fear before or after this approach, so i don't know if it really accomplished anything for me...but i'll count it. taking SOLID's advice, i went with a more situational opener (i'll use it if i can...but with street approaches it is more difficult), and it went well. i don't think she was lying about the bf, but either way, oh well, whatever.

points=3/10

Approach#2

this time i was just walking to go eat and spotted a chick somewhat far a away walking in my direction, so i headed towards her. said "hey" she was looking down as she walked but looked up to look at me. i smiled and continued with "i couldn't help but notice you as i was walking, and i was wondering if i could get to know you." i don't know why i said that...once i said it i regretted it, and felt like it was a stupid line to start out with. she was giving me ec and smiled when i said it and looked down for a sec. but she was pretty confident for the most part, and i think she could feel that i wasn't too relaxed. she said "well, i'm heading to class" and i said "yeah, well i was heading to go eat actually" we look at each other for about a second, and i say "well how about i get your number and we go for some coffee sometime?" she must have been single, because she thought about it, somewhat smiled, and said, "no, i don't think so" and just continued on her way.

i feel like this approach was a bit weak, and the fact that i regretted my own lines didn't help. i was barely nervous, but just because i felt that she was in a rush, and i was trying to keep her. afterwards i realized my mistakes:

-didn't even ask her name...?
-no rapport
-no ec ... sort of forced her to look at me by just saying "hey"
-my tone of voice was really bland and i sounded exhausted, as i was at the time anyway
(need to remind myself of that post about the "split personalities")

she was about an hb7.5, but actually taller than me. well, who cares, onto the next approaches. this approach compared to my first one is a great comparison of "situational" vs. "direct" opening. however, the first approach the target was sitting down, and the second was moving, so like i said, it's tough to make a situational comment when you're both heading in different directions.

points=1/10

looking back on this day, it was the first day that i've done more than one approach in a day, not just approaches, but 2 number close attempts. and i actually attempted a 2 set, even though one turned out to be on the phone. may not seem like much, but for me this is progress, and it's only the first day with this attitude. honestly, i think it was terrible that my very first approach in this journal was so good, because it made me focus too much about getting the girls, and my subsequent approaches reflected that. i should be focused on doing this for myself and only for myself. happiness and satisfaction shouldn't be based on someone else or let anyone else's actions control my happiness/satisfaction...that's why i thought i was stuck...

 

[h2o]

got another number

ok, i didn't do any approaches yesterday, but i did miss a lot of opportunities. mainly because i hadn't slept the night before and was just running on caffeine. i did get a lot of looks and got checkout out once or twice but didn't take any of it.

of course, i felt bad about not having done ****, so i really put forth an effort today. i started out just smiling and saying hi to girls while making ec.

i made ec/smiled and greeted 3hbs. the first wasn't really an hb, but the second was pretty hot, and the third was cute too. all three were receptive, but none stopped...street approaches are tough!

approach#1_
then, on my way to lunch i saw some chick by herself, but passed from the side, so i didn't really see her face, but she seemed alright from the back. i passed and approached from around.

i will no longer go into so much damn detail about what is said and whatnot, since i will be doing a lot more approaches, and quite frankly i don't think anyone will read if it is that long (i did 3 approaches today).

anyway, she was about an hb6. i started with the old "couldn't help but notice you" direct line...i usually blurt this out when i'm a bit nervous and it went ok. we exchanged names. i asked what she was sitting around for...some fluff talk.

me: so, let me give you a call, would you like to go for some coffee sometime?
her: uh...actually, i'm married
me: ... wow, you look much younger!
her: (blushes)...thanks, sorry
me: that's okay, good luck with your blah blah

damn, first married chick i'd approached. she really did look a lot younger.

approach#2_
walking out of my dorm, there were 3 girls laying/sitting in the lawn area. 2 were in bikinis tanning, and the 3rd, their friend, was clothed, sitting down. i sort of passed by and smiling at one chick in a bikini who smiled back ...an hb7 (the other was prob. an hb8.5, and the one sitting an hb7.5). i had passed by, but turned around and went to approach from behind. bad idea, but i thought what the heck, it's for me, not them.

i approached the girl who was not in a bikini.

me: (to all 3 chicks), are y'all done with exams for the day?
them: nah...
chick i was closest to, and intended to approach: i have one at 6
me: oh, me too, is that for blah class?
her: yeah (half smiled...seemed forced)

the rest of the convo was dry. she would only say something if i asked her a question. looked down for the most part, legs crossed. the girl who i initially smiled at (the hb7 in the bikini) asked me a question, but i answered and didn't pay much attention to her...i should have, since i could have probably gotten her number. so anyway, i knew it would be a rejection with this other chick, and asked anyway. ...bingo.

approach#3_
after my exam, walking out on campus, i saw an hb8.5 walking parallel to me, sort of in front of me, on my left. i said, "hey" and she turned around, all wide-eyed and ****. hahaha, it was the chick that was checking me out in the elevator yesterday, in the library.

god damn, this was the easiest pick up ever. i knew from yesterday that she wanted me. so here's how it went:

me: hey, i think i saw you on the elevator yesterday
her: oh, yeah (huge smile and lots of ec, as i smiled)

proceeded with some fluff talk as to why she was in the library...she just had an exam, we had one on the same subject...so we were walking together, and this chick is getting nervous. everytime she looks at me she smiles huge and makes tons of ec, then huddles with her friend and whispers "omg"

hahaha, i think she was pretty surprised to run into me a second time. anyway, her friend hb7 smiled at me (as if to non-verbally say that her friend is single, and i should continue to pick her up...sort of gave me a green light and didn't ****block at all).

me: what's your name?
her: blah...what's your name?
me: so are you single?
her: yeah (huge smile again...her friend also peeked from the side and smiled)
me: so, would you like to go for some coffee sometime?
her: yeah
me: so what's your phone number?
her: blah...
me:...why don't you just punch it in my phone? (hand her the phone)
her: okay (and did so)
me: okay, cool, well i'll ttyl then

i absolutely nailed this one. i'm def. glad i did approaches prior to this one. i was a bit rusty at first but got better as the day went on. heck, there were a ton of people around too, and i didn't care one bit.

cold approaches are awesome.

so far, here's my totals. i'm going to neglect the 'point-system' i was trying and just go by approaches, because i really don't get that point system very much. i think number of approaches works just fine.

total approaches: 5 (+ 9 from before = 14)
number closes: 1 (+ 1 from before = 2)

but i'm going to keep it at 1/5 because this new mindset of doing these for myself is a lot better, and shouldn't be thrown in with the other approaches i did. also, i'm making a goal to attempt to approach 10 girls before i call each number that i get. that way i'll never get desperate.

 

[h2o]

wassup, i thought about it, and doing 10 approaches before i call each # may be a bit much, especially since i'm getting more #s.

today got about 5hrs of sleep from 6am-11am, and was only awake due to taking frequent doses of caffeine. and even though i was going to spend 80% of my day in the library, i still took every single opportunity to approach.

approach (this doesn't count as an approach since i wasn't attracted and didn't attempt a number close)_
saw a not-so-attractive, but friendly-looking girl with arm in a sling. walked over and asked what she did, joked about it, then said bye. i didn't go for a number close b/c i didn't find her one bit attractive. she was receptive though and smiled, ec and all.

for street approaches, i'm having trouble getting girls to actually stop...when we're walking in opposite directions. anyway, i just try making ec, smiling, and greeting them. i also usually slow down a bit, and hope they also slow to a stop.

here's a few of these i tried:

-1hb7 in the library, with lots of make-up; i smiled, said "hey, how are ya." she gave me a 'who-the-****-are-you' look. and we just passed each other.
-1hb8 i'd seen a few times around but never approached. i smiled, said "hey," and she smiled back with ec.
-2 set, 1hb7 and 1hb8; i smiled, said "hey, how are y'all?" they smiled back and timidly said "good...thx" as we passed each other by.

the good part about doing these is that if i do ever see them stopped somewhere, i have a better chance when i actually do go for rapport and a number close.

approach#6 (forgot to re-number my approaches yesterday, oh well)_
walking to the library at night...it was pretty dark outside. i spot this blonde chick sitting back towards me, reading under a lighted bench. she was wearing a skirt, so i noticed she had nice legs. i approached.

me: ...aren't you in my blah class? (as i make ec)
her: ...no, i don't think so...

she's about an hb8. well, i'm in so, i proceed to ask what she's reading / doing here...she opens right up and tells me all about her exams, and we chat some. i tell her i feel like i know her already...she says the same thing to me. i ask her name and then ask if she'd like to go for some coffee...and she says "what's your name?" (i answer, and help her with the pronoucniation). then she says "yeah, let me give you my number..." i pull out my phone, and as i punch it in, it leads to more rapport...she works as a waitress at a strip club.

as i leave she says "sorry for boring you with my *****ing blah blah" and i just said "nah, that's cool" i know, i know, i should've busted on her for that. anyway, she encourage me to call her.

well, i feel like THE MAN now. that's 2 numbers back to back, and with this new approach mindset, it's 2/6 (though technically 3/15). not bad at all.

i know i'm not awesome at this yet, but some advice to other guys doing cold approaches: aside from the ec/smile/greet, try to build some rapport before you even ask her name. because, i get the feeling that then you have a reason for asking her name...if you ask right off the bat it can be awkward and she will feel 'why is this guy asking me my name?' if rapport comes first, it all flows better.

another quick tip that i've experienced is that once you feel GOOD, all these tips about body language, ec, smiling, etc don't mean ****. it all comes naturally. last two approaches i nailed, and that's because i felt GREAT about myself, and didn't even think about anything but 'damn that's a nice ass,' or as in Pook's words "ooh la la." just feel good about yourself and everything else will just follow...just keep approaching EVERY DAY...you can't go wrong that way.

here's an update pic of me: link removed per request
(yeah, i know, nothing really 'updated' except my goatee is a bit fuller now, and yeah, i really need to get a tan)

comments and advice are welcome btw...