H.S. screwed me up...

[Lesson]

I just need to vent.

I started coming to SoSuave this summer(June 2004) and I made very good improvements in my confidence, social skills and "Don Juaning". During the summer, I was talking and flirting with girls I normally wouldnt have talked to 3 months prior, and I was overall just a happy, confident kid.

Well I went into my senior year of H.S. with all this momentum, and it basically came to a screetching halt. Now for those that don't know my H.S. social scene, let me fill you in. My area is very wealthy and jewish(no im not a biggot,) a lot of the kids in my school have mothers and fathers who are doctors, lawyers, etc. Basically all the HB's hang out together along with their inner circle of guy friends who are basically the "****s" of the school. Now, I am by no means "unpopular", I am well known throughout the school, I interact with a variety of people but I can't "crack" the in crowd, nor do i want to, and it has really hampered my progress because thats 95% of my social interaction. Basically, I don't drink, I don't smoke weed and don't do coke(the new "in" thing in the school, sad really) and I don't plan to. Since Im not into the party scene I automatically get labeled as someone the HB's don't see as "social proof". Anyway so, Im making no attempt to get with the stuckup very rich girls, and can really care less about them... but my social status in the school has brought down my confidence to the point where I've lost my momentum and desire to DJ(I stopped visiting the site and DJing) and basically now, Im back to where I was before I ever came here.

So Im in my Senior year, which is suppose to be one of the "best years of your life" and Im being a tool. Im taking **** from people who I normally would call out, and just being a ***** in my approach on life. I've been kind of depressed lately and Im tired of it. Changes need to be made.

Has Anyone had this problem?

Sucks huh.

 

[JSH]

Why dont u drink? Not to get drunk, but for fun and enjoyment. It will not **** you up.

 

[Wiesman44]

same thing happened to me when I was in high school. There's nothing wrong with you, its whats wrong with them. Basically your saying that in order to get social proof, you have to drink, do coke, and party with everyone else. Well man, if thats the way to get social proof, getting laid is NOT worth it. Stay away from that ****, wait til your in college where the girls have their heads on straighter, and then practice your game there.

Seems to me like you just got a bunch of snobs at your school. And don't listen to JSH. There's no reason for you to have to drink until you get to college. You'll be doing plenty of drinking there.

 

[AFK Protector]

Keep your beliefs and morals. don't give in.

When **** gets hard for me, I just think, "I won't see that asswipe again until he's scrubbing my toilet in 20 years."

 

[Smooth as Anything]

Do you go to my school?

 

[Mr. Debonaire]

Originally posted by Wiesman44
wait til your in college where the girls have their heads on straighter

haha

hahahaha

hhaha

you ever been there bud?

 

[Mack Bishop]

become a coke dealer. problem solved.

 

[wcknightjr]

The most important thing is don't feel sorry for yourself! There is no "circle" of girls that won't let you in! This is only a self-imposed boundary that feeds off your lack of confidence. Is there litterally a wall keeping you from doing what you want? An armed guard? Mean junkyard dogs? Okay, then you have to change yourself in order to get what you want, if indeed you really want it. It usually is as simple as a change in confidence...

 

[McKindley]

These girls sound like they'd be more hassle than they'd be worth. Just forget about them. Young girls still think drinking and smoking pot is cool. Whatever, but coke, that's crossing the line. Don't mess with girlsl like that, because they'll probably go nowhere in life. Girls like that are a headache.

Go out and meet some more normal girls from some other schools. Hook yourself up with a crowd from another school. You have a clean slate with kids like that. You can be who you want to be with kids who don't know any better.

Try it out. It'll be much better for you. (oh yea, and its not that hard to do. All you have to do is meet ONE person from the crowd at another school. hang out with those kids, and if you're cool, you're in)

 

[Garbury]

I got really depressed too my senior and junior years in highschool and here's how i combatted these problems.

-I tried the drinking and weed and pills and that crap, it didn't make me happy. When you are depressed getting messed up only makes you more depressed later on, wait until you are happy with life then enjoy Capn' Mo!

-To get the social proof and respect, what i did was hit the weight room. Building a massive body builds confidence that people will notice. It feels so good to hear people say "holy sh** you got huge!", or have girls flirt with you due to a new physique.

-Try self-improvement such as lifting and you will feel better about your self. Set goals and as you meet those goals your confidence will soar.

 

[Heizen]

Originally posted by Lesson
Basically, I don't drink, I don't smoke weed and don't do coke(the new "in" thing in the school, sad really) and I don't plan to. Since Im not into the party scene I automatically get labeled as someone the HB's don't see as "social proof". Anyway so, Im making no attempt to get with the stuckup very rich girls, and can really care less about them... but my social status in the school has brought down my confidence to the point where I've lost my momentum and desire to DJ(I stopped visiting the site and DJing) and basically now, Im back to where I was before I ever came here.

Don't compromise what you think is right. If you don't want to drink, DON'T.

I don't drink, don't use drugs, and I have multiple girlfriends and girls around me. Drugs have very little to do with most social interactions and 99% of people who ask if you do things and you say "Nah, I don't smoke" They will be cool about it. If they arn't **** em.

You can be social proof and not do anyting like drinking or weed. I am proof of that; but you need to work at it. Workout, take care of yourself, and have confidence.

Every now and then I get down in situations like that, get nervous, wonder why I am doing this, and then I think: "Bull****, I cam from nothing to where I am now, I practicly OWN these people"
Whether or not it is true doesn't matter. You think that and you will have more confidence.

However I find school to be a hard place to be my DJ self, for me at least. I rely on sharpening skills in pickup situations; Parties from other schools, picking girls up at the mall, ect. Try some of those (Especially malls or other cold approach 'I don't care if I crash and burn' places and you will begin to feel your DJ self come back.

By the way, you cannot lose the will to dj. Being a DJ is a MINDSET. Either you have it or you don't. You are somewhere inbetween.