Guys that neglect their partners/wife’s sexually?

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

I was one of these men. I'd often go 4-6 weeks between sex sessions with my wife and sometimes
as much as 2-3 months. I slept in a separate bed and when we did do it, it was because she had
paid my room a visit and hopped onto my D. I think there were a few reasons. I've never been
a sexual man, I hate being naked and I find the whole thing very difficult to navigate. I don't know
how to flirt or escalate at all and I'm so 'meh' about sex that honestly I can't be bothered to attempt
to learn how to improve this. It was always a chore that I was glad was over and done with, I don't feel
sexy so I don't act sexy. To me it's as pointless as dancing and with just as many opportunities to embarrass
myself in attempting it. I'm pretty crap in bed, I'm in too much of a state of anxiousness to enjoy the moment
and to put a cherry on top I absolutely HATE being touched by others. Yay autism.

The quiet, demure, shy, feminine student I got with at the start had become a driven, successful girl boss.
An actual one, not just one of these chicks that claims to be one. She is a consultant actuary, with a First
degree in business and economics. Tall and attractive. £250k salary but she had to be in control of everything
and was incapable of being wrong about anything. She is extraordinarily clever but you just couldn't tell her
anything, even about stuff she knew NOTHING about. Some would probably say she outgrew me. She also
always proclaimed herself to be a feminist. Got sick to death hearing about that I can tell you.

Then, she became a very, very good poledancer.

It started as a hobby and within 5 years she was teaching at her club/school and I had built her a self
contained purpose built pole dance studio in our garden because I was sick of her being out training
or teaching 3-5 evenings a week, (Which she actually was by the way. You have to train a LOT to maintain
strength and flexibility and she was competition level good) the studio was so that she could train at
home and not have to keep going out all the time. She just did both. I saw even less of her, when
she was at home she'd be out in her studio. Pole dancing also saw the introduction of social media into
her life. It was "Just to keep in touch with the girls at pole because that's how they arrange stuff..." but
as you'd imagine it wasn't long before her phone was welded to her hand and she was posting scantily
clad pics on her profile. Both of which I found a complete turn off. Thirdly, her physique changed, she
became very physically strong and her arms and shoulders had stopped looking feminine, again another
turn off. I tried to warn her before it got that far that muscly chicks don't do it for me when she started
pole and even pointed out a few in her class with the kind of body that turns me right off. Knowing my
ex wife I knew that she would go at her new hobby like it was the most important thing ever and she'd
have a physique like a scaffolder in no time. She went ahead and did it anyway of course.

Long story short, I stopped feeling like the male in the relationship, I'm not nearly as driven as she is,
I remain uninterested in being a huge success in some way, I was just happy to have our little property
business to run, a wife and a dog. Threw nearly 20 years into that relationship. On my own now as many
know and am steaming towards 4 years of celibacy. I haven't been on so much as a date since splitting
with my wife. Believe it or not, despite everything I really loved her, splitting then divorcing really hurt.
My marriage taught me that I'm far too broken to inflict myself on another female, they have wants and
needs that (usually) revolve around touch and intimacy and I'm not comfortable with either. Its why I've
taken myself off the market, it's unlikely I'll find a woman who is happy with just companionship and
conversation so I've stopped looking.

Terrible condition blackbird, you have my full solidarity since we both share the desire to be left in peace.

I too suggest you to check your hormones however, not necessarily for your sex desire but for your overall health.

Good luck from a fellow mentally unhinged man.

 

[Murk]

I recommend you to check your test levels, go to tbe Dr and have the Total Testosterone and the Free Testosterone checked

I gave 5 vials of blood like 2 weeks ago to get it checked. My friend who is a nurse did it, they gave me results for everything except the Test, SHGB, estradiol, prolactin- basically the good stuff you have to pay for. One of the doctors screwed us over.

I will be going back soon to redo it, I thought I might have low T also.

@lost_blackbird you need to start working out with weights to feel strong and sexy, you will see improvements in your mood for sure. What you describe sounds like me in my teens/very early 20s. No autism, I don’t know how that effect things, but feeling and looking strong done wonders for me mentally.

 

[The Duke]

Normal.

Although I think there are legitimate critiques of Caleb Jones (Blackdragon/Alpha Male 2.0), I think his Thrill of the Hunt vs. Pleasure of Sex model makes sense. A lot of SoSuave forum members are Thrill of the Hunt men. I am a Pleasure of Sex man.

Thrill of the Hunt Men vs. Pleasure of Sex Men - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones This is such a big topic that it will likely be the first of several posts I make about this. This will clear up a lot of confusion you may have regarding conflicting advice in the seduction realm. Few men are aware that...

alphamale20.com

Even for Pleasure of Sex men, monogamy can run its course. However, Pleasure of Sex men prefer longer interactions due to a dislike of hunting.

Thanks for sharing the link, I never thought of it like that. You can definitely see the two types on this forum.

 

[The Duke]

I hear you and agree on the female wants and needs. What I struggle with is the emotional maintenance of a woman. It turns me off having to be so devoted to managing the emotional state of another human being that I didn’t even create. Frankly, I hate it.

And sometimes I ask myself why does man do this? It always starts out great, but then becomes unbalanced and unfair. We tolerate all of this just for regular pu$$y?

 

[EyeBRollin]

And sometimes I ask myself why does man do this? It always starts out great, but then becomes unbalanced and unfair. We tolerate all of this just for regular pu$$y?

I know right. Women are childlike as soon as they get a man. She now expects him to be 100% responsible for her emotions. It’s maddening. Bvtch, it’s called SELF-esteem. SELF-worth. SELF confidence.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Normal.

Although I think there are legitimate critiques of Caleb Jones (Blackdragon/Alpha Male 2.0), I think his Thrill of the Hunt vs. Pleasure of Sex model makes sense. A lot of SoSuave forum members are Thrill of the Hunt men. I am a Pleasure of Sex man.

Thrill of the Hunt Men vs. Pleasure of Sex Men - Alpha Male 2.0

-By Caleb Jones This is such a big topic that it will likely be the first of several posts I make about this. This will clear up a lot of confusion you may have regarding conflicting advice in the seduction realm. Few men are aware that...

alphamale20.com

Even for Pleasure of Sex men, monogamy can run its course. However, Pleasure of Sex men prefer longer interactions due to a dislike of hunting.

Great link. It should be mandatory read for all sosuave members, especially for OLD haters.

 

[Bokanovsky]

So I’ve been browsing r/deadbedrooms and I noticed there’s a lot of women complaining about their men not wanting sex. What type of situations/women cause this to happen because I thought men were the ones that always wanted sex. I’m just curious about this subject matter. I guess I will hear that the girl is ugly, but is this ugly girl dating a Chad or something lol.

Try going to the same restaurant every day and eating the same meal. See how that feels, especially if the meal gets progressively less appetizing over the years because the restaurant starts using less fresh ingredients.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

the wives got fat

Exactly.
Fat and lazy.

Plus for some it just boring to drill down the same hole I suppose. There is nothing more exciting to drill there for..
We guys are not by nature designed for monogamy which is a female strategy I would argue. When we give a women access to exclusivity through a LTR we go against our own sexual strategy to mating with as many women as humanly possible.

While for females that is her goal; to secure that she is the only beneficial receiver of your resources and that no other women has access to her man so she can create a secure future for her and her offspring...

 

[pipeman84]

Hey guys, let's exclude the cases where the woman gets either physically (ie fat, slob) or mentally/emotionally (nag, very low self esteem etc) unattractive. How do you get tired of the same woman, yet you don't get tired of the same hand? (which already has an advance of 15+ years over that woman, meaning you started masturbating age 13, yet you meet a woman age 30 and by 33 you're already tired of her?) I don't get that.

 

[Barrister]

Men are not naturally wired to just be with the same woman over and over for years on end. It takes a conscious effort to accept this. And even when you do, it isn't easy to resist advances.

I have been in situations with multiple past LTRs where my LTR was clearly better looking, but along comes a woman who clearly just wants it from me and is very flirtatious and obvious in her advances. Even though she isn't as attractive, there is an innate desire to have sex with the new woman and be more physically turned on by it than the more physically attractive woman you have been with for years. I didn't cheat in these instances, but I can say it wasn't easy.

 

[EyeBRollin]

We guys are not by nature designed for monogamy which is a female strategy I would argue. When we give a women access to exclusivity through a LTR we go against our own sexual strategy to mating with as many women as humanly possible.

No need to even argue; your analysis is 100% fact. Sexual monogamy only benefits the female mating strategy.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Men are not naturally wired to just be with the same woman over and over for years on end. It takes a conscious effort to accept this. And even when you do, it isn't easy to resist advances.

Frankly, I don’t know why men even accept it. Why should we?

Women by now should accept that men will fvck other poon from time to time; it is in our nature. The fact that so many women dump their cheating boyfriends / husbands only to seek out another man that will also cheat shows how delusional they are.

 

[In2theGame]

In some cases, like other posters have already said, the Wives/Girlfriend got Fat but that is definitely not the majority of cases. Men cheat on their attractive Girlfriends and Wives all the time.

Why do you think some Women (and Men) freak out when they find out the other Woman was chubby or slightly less attractive than the GF or Wife? Its because the Boyfriend or Husband got tired of fvcking the same pvssy.

That other Woman who may be less attractive than the main Woman, she was a new piece of ass.

 

[In2theGame]

The fact that so many women dump their cheating boyfriends / husbands only to seek out another man that will also cheat shows how delusional they are.

100% This.

This is also why they then go for Men who have low sexual appeal so they can ensure as much as possible that he has no chance at cheating but then her sexual desire for him dwindles down and she cheats on him lol

 

[EyeBRollin]

100% This.

This is also why they then go for Men who have low sexual appeal so they can ensure as much as possible that he has no chance at cheating but then her sexual desire for him dwindles down and she on him lol

Other societies historically have understood this dynamic. Higher caliber men never have just one woman.

Modern women cannot accept natures choice:
A) powerful / higher caliber man with options
B) average to lower status man with no options

They instead choose options:

C) for “Can’t happen” - Build up man B into A
D) for “delusion.” - Find a “loyal A”

(Ironically, if C even happens that guy is even more likely to cheat !)

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Yeah, I see women I would like to screw out in public, but the thought of starting a new relationship and hiding it just turns me off it completely lol.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Yeah, I see women I would like to screw out in public, but the thought of starting a new relationship and hiding it just turns me off it completely lol.

Who said anything about a relationship?

 

[In2theGame]

Other societies historically have understood this dynamic. Higher caliber men never have just one woman.

Modern women cannot accept natures choice:
A) powerful / higher caliber man with options
B) average to lower status man with no options

They instead choose options:

C) for “Can’t happen” - Build up man B into A
D) for “delusion.” - Find a “loyal A”

(Ironically, if C even happens that guy is even more likely to cheat !)

Spot On!

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Who said anything about a relationship?

not all of us are supermen and can just eye spot a woman and fvck within a hour.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Men are not naturally wired to just be with the same woman over and over for years on end. It takes a conscious effort to accept this. And even when you do, it isn't easy to resist advances.

Can that many men accept it ? i can't think of many that can it takes a tremendous amount of honesty and introspection

I think if we surveyed a mass of long term relationships and questioned them individually i think we would find an alarmingly high number that were in fact completely sexless especially over the age of 35 that have already been in 10+ year deals with a couple of kids

Some of course will put on a brave front and say " our sex life is still like ti was when we were in our 20's " but truly this will be a cope

Cheating , fetishes , orgies , swinging , cucking all of this didn't just pop out of thin air

It's societies silent scream for sexual liberation

But at the same time society and the economy also heavily relies on the "family unit" without it a lot falls to sh1t

I think the rabbit hole goes very very deep

But at 30 i've already slept with enough women and been in enough relationships to know that long term sex with anyone does become stale