Grr... I'm still an AFC!

[Dabuek]

I go to a preppy private school with around maybe 400 students, and I'm just a bit annoyed. Last year was my first year there, and I've found that the most trouble I have with girls is because they travel in groups, and you can almost never go up and just talk to one without interrupting a conversation with their posse, and any other guys they might be talking to (irritating).

I'm fairly confident... Don't slump my shoulders. I'm not skinny, nor am I fat (I've been working out for two years... so I've known I'm an AFC for a while at least), nor am I ugly. I dress well for the most part, also. My humor could use some tweaking but I get some laughs every now and then.
I've been reading the bootcamp deal, but it takes me a while to find a place to slip in the 10 rejections and if anything it hurts my confidence. I would have never guessed that every time I try I'd get a rejection.

Here's a question for you DJ experts... When you get a girls normal do you normally talk to them a few times first, or do you get it the first time you meet them? Particularily at school?


Scenario 1... I know a girl from a class of mine that is almost overenthusiastic to talk to me. I see her outside of school one day and ask her about getting her number, and she changes the subjects and won't give it to me. So a few days later I go up to her and just say, "Oh yeah, I just wanted to appologize for what I did the other day..." "What are you talking about?" "Oh, asking for your number... *sarcastically with a grin* It was really wrong of me." So I've not tried for her number again, of course. The other day she was doing that overenthusiastic thing and I finally just got annoyed by it and asked her if she was being over enthusiastic about everything, or just making fun of me and she said that she was being over-enthusiastic. Same ol' same ol'... weeks later and she does the same stuff... so I quit caring about that.

Scenario 2... I saw a girl at a concert I knew from school. I've talked to her some in the past, and talked to her in class the other day and she was telling me about the concert, and what she did there and we actually had a short-lived conversation (school always makes sure that all conversations I have are very shortlived). I ask her if she's going to the next concert this saturday... She immediately started talking about how she definately wasn't going (even though I said I was) and that she didn't have the money, yadda yadda yadda... So I said, "Okay, whatever".. Left it at that. Didn't even go for the number since it was the big R before I even started.

I don't know. Give me tips or something...
-- Dabuek
Master AFC

 

[punkrockpylot]

look man, not to flame, but coming to this site doesnt automatically make you a DJ...the boot camp is made to help so you need to definately NEED to get in the rejections and everything, dont try to...JUST DO IT...well, im going to play pool with a couple of friends and some ladies so ill have to finish my advice later, but just remember, this site only gets the ball rolling, it doesnt make you a DJ...

the punkrock DJ

 

[PatrickWasHere]

Yah man it takes time, especially sicne you registered within these last 3 days of December lol. Read the Bible. Learn about eye contact and kino. Learn the ways of makign a girl interested in you, and then gradually turn the knob up so the level of interest rises. Getting numbers from girls you see daily and are just so-so friends with is hard to do... The bible should tell you everything you need to know, and maybe try Warped's compacted bootcamp. Good luck.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

Umm you aren't quite a DJ yet I think,(neither am I) We are rAFC's (recovering afc's)

I suggest you read "Kill that desperation" by Pook in the bible. I could be wrong but based on the second situation it seems like you're coming off a little desperate (I could be wrong)Girl #1 seems like a friend, and I don't get the whole "apologizing sarcastically" thing. Girl #2 seems like a lost cause.

Read that and the HS bible and that should have you set for a good length of time

 

[Dabuek]

Originally posted by PatrickWasHere
Yah man it takes time, especially sicne you registered within these last 3 days of December lol. Read the Bible. Learn about eye contact and kino. Learn the ways of makign a girl interested in you, and then gradually turn the knob up so the level of interest rises. Getting numbers from girls you see daily and are just so-so friends with is hard to do... The bible should tell you everything you need to know, and maybe try Warped's compacted bootcamp. Good luck.

I don't usually post on forums a lot... doesn't mean I've not been reading like mad, bro. Already good with eye contact and half=decent with kino.

 

[Dabuek]

Originally posted by Microphone Fiend
Umm you aren't quite a DJ yet I think,(neither am I) We are rAFC's (recovering afc's)

I suggest you read "Kill that desperation" by Pook in the bible. I could be wrong but based on the second situation it seems like you're coming off a little desperate (I could be wrong)Girl #1 seems like a friend, and I don't get the whole "apologizing sarcastically" thing. Girl #2 seems like a lost cause.

Read that and the HS bible and that should have you set for a good length of time

Already read kill that desperation...
*shrugs*
It's just not piecing togethor for me I guess. If I don't approach girls I can very easily not end up talking to them at all, and it seems like I come off desperate if I approach them at all? So it's kind of out of whack in the first place. I don't know about the apologizing sarcastic thing... Probably not the DJ thing as much as me just wanting to see what she'd say -- or if she'd even acknowledge that I was trying to get her number. She's really NOT a friend.

 

[Canadianpimpology]

I don't think you need to learn eye contact. I don't think you need to master kino. Right now, what you are lacking is confidence. I know it's basic, but you are just lacking basic confidence. Also, to have more success you need more approaches. And about your preppy private school...I think that's a BS excuse. Talk to them in class then or even better...make friends with their posse. And you totally blew Scenario #1. That was horrible man. You'll learn a lot from this site. Just keep trying and you'll get there.

 

[SnatchJP]

Dude, I feel your pain. I also go to a preppy 400 student school (In fact, that 400 is 6th through 12th grade, so for me it's almost worse)

The way I worked things out was to meet and practice on girls outside of school. You're starting decently, you've made mistakes, all of us on this board have stories about our mistakes too, don't let it bother you. If you do all your practice on girls at school, word will get around fast and your rep could hurt you.

So find some things to do that put you in contact with girls your age outside of school. A job, sports, acting, or other art form could be good. If you're religious, look for youth group events. (Heck, I don't beleive in God and I still go to those things just because I've made so many friends at them and there are so many good opprotunities for practice there.)

You're gonna make mistakes, so be ready and know how to learn from them. Once you're moderately comfortable with developing rapport with girls, take your game to school, and enjoy! (Don't wait too long to perfect your technique; if you take four years, your technique my be good, but you'll never have used it!)

 

[punkrockpylot]

again man, it doesnt matter how much you read...you could read everything posted on this site and sit on your arse and not be a DJ, but then again, if you read one article and get the one thing down...youll have taken that first step...its a lot to take in, read a little at a time and master what you read...

confidence is your key at the moment...i didnt check the alias of whoever posted that, but they were right on target...good luck with that...confidence is hard to build and it takes time...just relax and work at it...

and the private school thing really is a load of bull man...when i first started out at this site, less than 150 people at my school of 1200 actually knew who i was...now im pretty damn popular, and though i dont get many girls from my school, i have plenty of girls at other schools and in other areas...building rapport is tough and it sometimes takes going somewhere where people dont think they know you because of those you hang out with...go out other places besides school and practice with these girls...you will be starting wiht a clean slate...and most of all...good luck...

edits: scenario #1 - man you are in the friends zone and it doesnt look like your coming out...next her...

scenario #2 - you missed your chance durin the convo between concerts...next her...try some different ones man...and read up on how to turn off ***** shields this will be a good weapon for your arsonal against the clique girls...

the punkrock DJ

 

[Dabuek]

Originally posted by punkrockpylot
edits: scenario #1 - man you are in the friends zone and it doesnt look like your coming out...next her...

scenario #2 - you missed your chance durin the convo between concerts...next her...try some different ones man...and read up on how to turn off ***** shields this will be a good weapon for your arsonal against the clique girls...

the punkrock DJ

The asterisks and acronyms kill me! I have no idea what a ***** shield is.

I already gave up and next'ed both of them... Scenario 1 I may have been in the friend zone, but hell, I wouldn't call her a friend. I don't know her that well so I'm stumped as to how I ended up there.

All of the stuff on the site is kind of overwhelming... I can read it all, but most of it doesn't bleed through. My biggest thing is I just don't feel comfortable DJing when tons of people are always looking at me. A lot of learning all of this is also just learning to not hate women! I've been rejected for so long over the years I've developed a pretty profound hatred of women, and it takes me focusing and realizing the fact that I am a sexual creature, and am straight to realize that I can't just say "screw them all to hell!"

P.S... don't depress me! I'm almost to second semester and this is my senior year... I was homeschooled until the 11th grade (Not much of a chance to work on DJ'ing skills at home... Anyone want to know my oppinion on homeschooling? SCREW HOMESCHOOLING.)

I really didn't understand what you meant by scenario 2... You mean I missed my chance when we were talking about how I saw her at the last concert, etc.?

P.P.S.: What's with this site and over censoring everything? geez...

 

[punkrockpylot]

Originally posted by Dabuek
The asterisks and acronyms kill me! I have no idea what a ***** shield is.

I already gave up and next'ed both of them... Scenario 1 I may have been in the friend zone, but hell, I wouldn't call her a friend. I don't know her that well so I'm stumped as to how I ended up there.

All of the stuff on the site is kind of overwhelming... I can read it all, but most of it doesn't bleed through. My biggest thing is I just don't feel comfortable DJing when tons of people are always looking at me. A lot of learning all of this is also just learning to not hate women! I've been rejected for so long over the years I've developed a pretty profound hatred of women, and it takes me focusing and realizing the fact that I am a sexual creature, and am straight to realize that I can't just say "screw them all to hell!"

P.S... don't depress me! I'm almost to second semester and this is my senior year... I was homeschooled until the 11th grade (Not much of a chance to work on DJ'ing skills at home... Anyone want to know my oppinion on homeschooling? SCREW HOMESCHOOLING.)

I really didn't understand what you meant by scenario 2... You mean I missed my chance when we were talking about how I saw her at the last concert, etc.?

P.P.S.: What's with this site and over censoring everything? geez...

man, first of all, DJing is all about being in the spotlight with women, when you walk into a room, they should all be looking to you...and weve all been rejected many times, its what drives us to our success...

i am also almost second semester of my senior year, and my parents never let me leave the house till this year when i got my license (a year and a half after i shouldve had it) so we are in the same boat...the only thing is, you are afraid to leave behind your AFC days...it seems to me that not only do you have a fear of rejection, but also of success, i dont know if youd have any idea of what to do if you were to succeed...

and scenario 2...you shouldve asked her to go WITH you and paid for her instead of going..."oh you cant go" (this is where the AFC in you really came out...when an obstacle came up...you didnt even approach the idea of overcoming it...you just gave up...

you have to be persistent (not too persistent) and confident and in control...you should slowly work up to this and youll be fine...

the punkrock DJ

 

[oprahjimfrey]

neither scenario sounds very good. I think you need to forget about them and keep looking for other chix. btw, I go to a small school kind of close to urs (about 180 per grade). Yes, its tough as hell finding hot chicks, especially since there are only like 2-3 and they are major biatches

 

[Cloud-uk]

Heh heh, you sound like the kinda guy that wants everything right here right now- a very good trait in my opinion.

Only problem is that it can be hard to keep a big thing going- I'm speaking from experience here.

You can read all the stuff here a hundred times and not get it. What you have to do is get out there and try anything! getting rejected 100000000000 times is better for you than getting accepted once by some slut. Incidentally, both are better than not asking at all.

It does take a long time to become a Don Juan, "being a Don Juan is like being in love, no one can tell you you're in love- you just know" and that wont happen for a while. WHich is good- its the journey that's the fun part.

If you don't feel like you're improving try and hit a certain area of yourself that you're not 100% thrilled with, and work on it hard. If you begin to slow down with it, concentrate on another aspect. Just keep yourself motivated.

I never did the whole rejection thing. I don't know why...I think I found the DJ boot camp a bit late...either way I just couldn't be bothered. If you're a RAFC who's just starting to actually do some field work, they sound like a great idea.

Keep at it man, and keep posting your questions. Try not to post about specific girls, but more on what your general situation is and how you can solve it in the future: it'll help you realise no girl is worth losing sleep over.

Hope things improve real quick for ya

 

[GodOfThunder]

Every time you "TRY", you get rejected? Losers try. Winners go home and **** the Prom queen. I hereby order you to read everything by Pook in the Bible. Embrace the gospel my friend.