Gratefulness - the key to happiness and joy

[sorin]

Hello there,

Inspite of all the negativeness induced and promoted by press, tv and people around you, i challenge you to have a different attitude...

The attitude of being grateful... Why?

Gratefulness is a key element in the movie called "The Secret", the movie that was a top seller all over the world.
In that movie we find that out that before we ask for something, and we then believe that we already receive it so that we eventually receive it we must first be gratefluu for what we have.

Also...

”
We all want to be happy.
Gratefulness makes us happy.
It's not happiness that makes us grateful.
Gratefulness is the way to joi because joy is the kind of happiness that does not depend on things that happen.
"

These are the words of a benedict monk named David Steindl-Rast, in an interview wherehe very well explains how to be grateful today and to have a great day. Please watch this video so that you can observe how he will motivate you have a beautiful day, by clicking on this video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Zl9puhwiyw.

I think that a spiritual side in a person's life is an important element and it might be that element that fills you up the most with positive thoughts, with relaxation, that engine that helps you succeed, to work towards your true objective, that of evolving on a personal and profound level.

For the ones of you who are atheists or spiritual without religious practise, please try to see the message and try whether it is efficient, without thinking that if that person is cathloic it may just be a message for religious propaganda, etc.

He also explains in a religious environment, what is the essence of gratefulness. I esspecially liked the part where he says about forgeting the past or the future and just being in the present. Click the video link here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Szcvrf752L0

Truly there are some people that have an inner joy no matter what happens around them and amazingly those people attract positive things into their lives again and again and they find fast solutions because their mind si relaxed and they are grateful for every moment, a thing that takes them even faster to their strong-held dreams.

We all know that our thoughts, whether positive or negative, influence the actions we take and of course the results we have. So, the attitude of cultivating our positive thoughts through gratefulness and positive expectations about the future as well as taking action towards these things is highly recommended.

How did you express your gratefulness today?

 

[bornyesterday]

Associating yourself with 'The Secret' isn't helping you. That movie is a hoax.

Gratefulness is probably a good thing. Don't know much about it but I'm glad it's helping you.
But this is sosuave, so the question is how does gratefulness make you more of a DJ and not more boring then you already are?

edit:
Gratefullness is not THE end of all things which makes everything better. Every quack says he knows the answer and its usually one simple (and often vague) thing, like faith, creativity, positivity or the latest ab cruncher. Lets just stay realistic here.

 

[slaog]

You're right OP. Well said.


Too many times people complain about what they don't have instead of being grateful for what they do have. It's about opening you eyes to the good things in your life instead of focusing on the negative all the time.

Truly there are some people that have an inner joy no matter what happens around them and amazingly those people attract positive things into their lives again and again and they find fast solutions because their mind si relaxed and they are grateful for every moment, a thing that takes them even faster to their strong-held dreams.

Those people never have to learn PUA tactics.

 

[MisterMcGee]

This is a fluff thread. I agree with bornyesterday.

And the reason why you mood affects what happens to you is because certain mindsets and outlooks radically change your behaviour, confidence, productivity, magnetism, awareness, body language, energy, attractiveness, perception, and so forth. The more healthy and positive your mindset, the better you'll do, logically. Not magically.
It has nothing to do with magic, as convenient as that is to believe.

So no, "gratefulness" isn't something you should be concerned about attaining over other things such as "confidence" and "happiness", or even "sexual performance". Saying "gratefulness is the key to happiness and joy" is like saying "being happy makes you happy". Not very fresh or enlightening, my dear. It's nice if this is some resolution you've made for yourself, but as a post or 'tip', this has little practical use.
And this should be in the 'tips' forum.


EDIT:
@ fella below me
I said being in a positive state of mind changes how you go about life and react to things and so forth on a grand scale. It's not "if you're happy, good things will happen to you magically!"
Good things will happen to you because you go about things more confidently and people react to you better and so forth, for example.Just like being confident helps you with women, it helps you get places in life too. So do other good things like 'happiness', 'gratitude', 'perseverance', and so forth. Obviously.

I didn't call this 'theory' fluff, I called this feel-good thread fluff. I could replace the word "gratefulness" with "confidence" or any other 'positive trait' and it's the same as a lot of other copy+paste mindset threads that repeat the same point: "Be an awesome guy"

And "the secret" has NOTHING to do with "the law of attraction". Have you read the secret? It's about cosmic magic. About you magically becoming rich as long as you imagine you'll be rich.
The way it works in real life is, if you really want to be rich, you'll likely start working toward it by changing your mindset, becoming more productive, making new work contacts, becoming more confident, and so forth.
Logically, you may become wealthy as a result. That's common sense.
It's certainly not something you should say others have trouble understanding. It's not complicated, it's common sense - that is why this is a fluff thread and why people disregard things like 'the secret' and people who talk to much fluff when simply all they're trying to say is "be happy and life will be good!"

I understand your point. I just don't think people should keep writing paragraphs upon paragraphs of such a basic concept, and tell us that we simply don't 'understand' your reasonings when we provide our input.

 

[slaog]

This is a fluff thread. I agree with bornyesterday.

And the reason why you mood affects what happens to you is because certain mindsets and outlooks radically change your behaviour, confidence, productivity, magnetism, awareness, body language, energy, attractiveness, perception, and so forth. The more healthy and positive your mindset, the better you'll do, logically. Not magically.
It has nothing to do with magic, as convenient as that is to believe.

So no, "gratefulness" isn't something you should be concerned about attaining over other things such as "confidence" and "happiness", or even "sexual performance". Saying "gratefulness is the key to happiness and joy" is like saying "being happy makes you happy". Not very fresh or enlightening, my dear. It's nice if this is some resolution you've made for yourself, but as a post or 'tip', this has little practical use.
And this should be in the 'tips' forum.

I don't know if gratitude is the key to happiness but it's a good place to start. Many scientists would disagree with you calling it fluff.


I think when the OP mentioned 'the secret' or 'law of attraction' it brings out a negative reaction from some people. It's because either they don't understand the science behind it or they just don't agree.


All I'd say is unless somebody has all the answers to the universe don't be saying it doesn't work because you don't know if it works or not!

 

[bornyesterday]

I don't want to start a discussion here, but I cant resist to respond.

I don't know if gratitude is the key to happiness but it's a good place to start. Many scientists would disagree with you calling it fluff.

Using the terms "many scientists say/agree/disagree" to mobilize authority as a backup for your opinion is a cheap (and unscientific) rhetorical trick. "Many." That word doesnt say anything either. How many? 10, 100, more then 50%? "Scientists." Which scientists? Psychologists, astronomers, molecular biologists, archeologists? And which part of that group?
In short you are not making sense when you use words like that. It's not helping you.

"Gratitude is not fluff." Apart from what scientists may or may not say about the relationship between gratitude and fluff, that's not mistermcgee's point. You are totally sidetracked.

I think when the OP mentioned 'the secret' or 'law of attraction' it brings out a negative reaction from some people. It's because either they don't understand the science behind it or they just don't agree.

The movie "The Secret" is an esthetic failure and its philosophy is questionable at best. But it's open for discussion I'll grant you that. More important is what you say about the law of attraction. I don't disagree with the law (how can anyone be "negative" about that?), I disagree with how it is used in the 'The Secret'. That law is blatantly misused. First they erroneously translate that particular law of physics in easily understandable common language. Then they pull its' poorly translated physical mechanic into the metaphysical (or paranormal) world without giving it a second thought. Not living up to logic and the law of physics is pretty common for spiritual and religious thinking so I dont mind that to much. But what I do mind is they don't make the distinction between the physical and the metaphysical realm when they apply their 'law of attraction'. As if the same laws apply in the physical and in the metaphysical world, as if they're the same thing! They pretend a scientific basis while it is all conjecture. Science can by definition not touch upon the metaphysical.
What they do is lie and deceit. It's quackery.

All I'd say is unless somebody has all the answers to the universe don't be saying it doesn't work because you don't know if it works or not!

So nobody is entitled to an opinion or preference? 100% certainty is unattainable. Even in science. Do you think scientists are happy with the law of gravity? It's descriptive, we know that the law works, but nobody knows how it works. That's frustratingly incomplete, but it doesn't mean we can't make use of the rich information that the law does give us.
You have to filter knowledge. Some of it is better then the other. I do that, you do that, everyone does that. Otherwise we wouldnt be here. Survival (and hapiness) is impossible otherwise.
So I (and MisterMcGee) decide not to take the OP, and certainly not 'The Secret', to seriously.

edit: spelling

 

[slaog]

EDIT:
@ fella below me
I said being in a positive state of mind changes how you go about life and react to things and so forth on a grand scale. It's not "if you're happy, good things will happen to you magically!"
Good things will happen to you because you go about things more confidently and people react to you better and so forth, for example.Just like being confident helps you with women, it helps you get places in life too. So do other good things like 'happiness', 'gratitude', 'perseverance', and so forth. Obviously.

I didn't call this 'theory' fluff, I called this feel-good thread fluff. I could replace the word "gratefulness" with "confidence" or any other 'positive trait' and it's the same as a lot of other copy+paste mindset threads that repeat the same point: "Be an awesome guy"


And "the secret" has NOTHING to do with "the law of attraction". Have you read the secret? It's about cosmic magic. About you magically becoming rich as long as you imagine you'll be rich.
The way it works in real life is, if you really want to be rich, you'll likely start working toward it by changing your mindset, becoming more productive, making new work contacts, becoming more confident, and so forth.
Logically, you may become wealthy as a result. That's common sense.It's certainly not something you should say others have trouble understanding. It's not complicated, it's common sense - that is why this is a fluff thread and why people disregard things like 'the secret' and people who talk to much fluff when simply all they're trying to say is "be happy and life will be good!"

I understand your point. I just don't think people should keep writing paragraphs upon paragraphs of such a basic concept, and tell us that we simply don't 'understand' your reasonings when we provide our input.

The secret is a law of attraction book. It's a basic introduction to the law of attraction. I've read it and I liked it however it is very vague. Some people misunderstood it because it said all you have to do is make a wish and you'll receive anything.


You see the way it works differently then I do. Thats why I say people misunderstand it. You say if you want to be rich you'll work towards it etc etc by changing your mindset etc. I agree with all that.


However, you're leaving out something. Everybody really wants to be rich. Everybody wants lots of women chasing them etc. Why doesn't it happen for everybody. Why don't everybody work towards getting rich. The wealthy people and the people who are heading in that direction all dream about it and believe they will be rich. They imagine it.


This is where the LOA comes in. It's an energy and by thinking about things you want more and more it creates more of the energy and eventually becomes reality. This is why some people are "lucky". This is how I see it and this is the reality of the world. Atoms are just pure energy so nothing is really physical.

 

[slaog]

I don't want to start a discussion here, but I cant resist to respond.



Using the terms "many scientists say/agree/disagree" to mobilize authority as a backup for your opinion is a cheap (and unscientific) rhetorical trick. "Many." That word doesnt say anything either. How many? 10, 100, more then 50%? "Scientists." Which scientists? Psychologists, astronomers, molecular biologists, archeologists? And which part of that group?
In short you are not making sense when you use words like that. It's not helping you.

"Gratitude is not fluff." Apart from what scientists may or may not say about the relationship between gratitude and fluff, that's not mistermcgee's point. You are totally sidetracked.



The movie "The Secret" is an esthetic failure and its philosophy is questionable at best. But it's open for discussion I'll grant you that. More important is what you say about the law of attraction. I don't disagree with the law (how can anyone be "negative" about that?), I disagree with how it is used in the 'The Secret'. That law is blatantly misused. First they erroneously translate that particular law of physics in easily understandable common language. Then they pull its' poorly translated physical mechanic into the metaphysical (or paranormal) world without giving it a second thought. Not living up to logic and the law of physics is pretty common for spiritual and religious thinking so I dont mind that to much. But what I do mind is they don't make the distinction between the physical and the metaphysical realm when they apply their 'law of attraction'. As if the same laws apply in the physical and in the metaphysical world, as if they're the same thing! They pretend a scientific basis while it is all conjecture. Science can by definition not touch upon the metaphysical.
What they do is lie and deceit. It's quackery.



So nobody is entitled to an opinion or preference? 100% certainty is unattainable. Even in science. Do you think scientists are happy with the law of gravity? It's descriptive, we know that the law works, but nobody knows how it works. That's frustratingly incomplete, but it doesn't mean we can't make use of the rich information that the law does give us.
You have to filter knowledge. Some of it is better then the other. I do that, you do that, everyone does that. Otherwise we wouldnt be here. Survival (and hapiness) is impossible otherwise.
So I (and MisterMcGee) decide not to take the OP, and certainly not 'The Secret', to seriously.

edit: spelling

You are welcome to your opinions but like I said nobody can say for sure if it's false. I think most people would not agree with me but thats OK. If you said the world was round hundreds of years ago you could have been hanged by some people who thought they had the answers.For those people it looked flat from where they were standing.


By the way as I said in the other post I don't think the secret was too clear with it's message. It was still a good book.

 

[MisterMcGee]

"The secret is a law of attraction book."
No it isn't. It's sensationalized pseudo self-help (as offensive as that sounds, that's as accurate of a description I can give. Think "Michael Moore").
It's not written as an unbiased piece of educated and scientific or philosophical insight. It's written to tell certain types of people (mostly middle-aged middle-class folks) what they want to hear, and that's all.
I'm done in this thread though. Discussing "the secret" proves, at least to me, that this is indeed a fluff thread. The day I dumb down my methods of self-discipline and goal-achieving to the level of "make a wish" is the day I seek a whole new type of self-help. The useful kind, of course.

 

[oakraiderz2]

"The secret is a law of attraction book."
No it isn't. It's sensationalized pseudo self-help (as offensive as that sounds, that's as accurate of a description I can give. Think "Michael Moore").
It's not written as an unbiased piece of educated and scientific or philosophical insight. It's written to tell certain types of people (mostly middle-aged middle-class folks) what they want to hear, and that's all.
I'm done in this thread though. Discussing "the secret" proves, at least to me, that this is indeed a fluff thread. The day I dumb down my methods of self-discipline and goal-achieving to the level of "make a wish" is the day I seek a whole new type of self-help. The useful kind, of course.

Theres nothing special about the secret. Its all psychology thats overlooked or novel to a lot of people. All it really is saying to do is think positive, set goals, visualize the goals you wish to achieve and self fufilling prophecies. Nothing special about any of that. People just dont understand the majority of it because theyve never heard of it.

 

[MisterMcGee]

'The Secret' places responsibility on the Cosmos for listening to your wishes and hopes and thus materializing the things that you so dearly want. Don't defend or knock the secret unless you've studied it at least a bit.
Generally it's known as a 'self-help book about being optimistic and creating goals'. This is definitely what the 'moral' of the book is, so to speak, but ignoring the actual BOOK itself and just using its 'message' about optimism as a reference is silly to do. It's like referring to Nazism when explaining successful governmental leadership... whilst ignoring the actual details that makes Nazism what it is.

The 'The Secret' itself is not something people here should use as applicable source material for practical personal growth and improvement.
If you are going to ignore what makes 'The Secret' what it is, and instead simply strip it of all its wonder and simply say "its about being optimistic!", then don't bring the book up at all. By ignoring the actual book, you may as well use any hollywood film that uses the "Hero's Journey" plotline as a reference.
I'm not being sarcastic - you can go anywhere and find something that will give you a positive frame of mind and pump up your testosterone. No need to resort to pseudoscience and sensationalist texts just because you may feel a 'non-fiction' source of any kind is more credible.

 

[bornyesterday]

You are welcome to your opinions

Thank you. So are you.

but like I said nobody can say for sure if it's false.

True. And that's one of the problems I have with it.

If you said the world was round hundreds of years ago you could have been hanged by some people who thought they had the answers.For those people it looked flat from where they were standing.

Hate to be nitpicking but people already knew the earth was round since well before Christ. It was independently observed and measured in ancient Egypt and ancient Greece. In Greece they even calculated the size of the earth with astonishing accuracy. Before the middle ages the roundness of the earth was already a well established dogma for the educated people. In the time of Galileo Galilei, which is 400 years ago, it was at risk of death to say the earth revolved around the sun.

I'm not really sure what you are trying to say with that example btw. Are you suggesting you are being stoned here but later you will be proven right? That's very un-DJ of you.

 

[slaog]

I'm not really sure what you are trying to say with that example btw. Are you suggesting you are being stoned here but later you will be proven right? That's very un-DJ of you.

Nope. I'm saying that some people were certain the earth was flat and they took great offence to people who said the world was round.


I'm not complaining about those who have different opinions or me being stoned. Like I said, I'm sure most people would disagree with me and take your side in this argument. Am I concerned if others disagree with me? Not in the least. I'm sure we all agree that changing your mindset for the better will make you change your life for the better.

 

[sorin]

hello again everyone,

@bornyesterday,

The Secret is not a hoax, it is real. The law of attraction is very real.
If you have negative thoughts, you attract negative feelings which attract negative people and situations. To be more objective, if we focus on what's negative, that's what we only perceive as being important and that's what our inner voice will keep talking to us about and make us feel like.

On the other hand, seeing positive things and wisdom and what we can learn from things can really help us evolve and develop as human beings.

It's not a myth, it's pure psychology.

If we focus on fear, it develops. If we try to get relaxed before approaching, we will get even more fear.
If we approach even though we are afraid, the fear disappears.

@slaog,

yes, you got my message

@MisterMcGee,

I didn't say it's magic, i said it's effective .

 

[bornyesterday]

Yes the secret is a fraud.
Some things they write/talk about do work in real life, certainly. But thats because when they are correct they make use of theories of psychology and self-help. So the things that do work are nothing new or special. Like mistermcgee already mentioned. It's old news in a new suit. It's all the bla bla they mesh in with it thats disturbing and misleading.

Just forget about The Secret. You've got something for yourself that works for you, own it. You dont need The Secret to make it more real.
I dont want to argue about a book/movie that I dont care about.

 

[MisterMcGee]

@MisterMcGee,

I didn't say it's magic, i said it's effective .

I didn't say whatever YOU said was magic of a fraud, I said THE SECRET was a fraud. Stop pretending your theory and THE SECRET's theory are the same thing; you're just using THE SECRET as social proof in this situation, as some sort of crutch or alibi. You've got no idea what THE SECRET is actually about, nor how it masks its message/theory. HOW the book is written and HOW its theory is communicated is WHAT makes the book what it is. You cannot use the fvcking book as your 'proof' just because it's about "being positive" when that's what ALL self-help books are about.

Your theory is fine. It works for you and others because it's common sense, so you've pretty much got a foolproof system going on. It's like telling someone to be happy, and as a result they'll be happy. I've got no problem with that. Just don't think for a second I wasted time debating your theory, I simply debated against your use of THE SECRET as a cited source.

Comprehend what I'm talking about, and be in a place to debate. If you haven't read THE SECRET nor know what it is about, don't debate. If you don't know that I see your theory and THE SECRET as two separate things, don't debate. You are literally a broken record by saying things like "THE SECRET is an unbiased, academic, and scientific look at the laws of attraction" because that is 100% incorrect; if you truly think that, then say so right now so I can stop bothering writing these posts to you.

In the future, don't use other people's self-help works as the spines of your own self-help articles. The teachings of THE SECRET are not yours, nor should you cite them if you don't understand them. If you think THE SECRET is about scientific laws of attraction, then you are poorly mistaken.

I don't care that you are incorrect in your comprehension of THE SECRET as a book, I just highly recommend getting out of the habit of using works you don't fully understand as cited sources when you don't fully understand or comprehend them in their entirety; doing so makes your whole argument or theory seem misguided. Don't use THE SECRET as a haven of 'laws of attraction' knowledge, because it's not that. It's a self-help book that sells an interesting wish-and-thou-shalt-receive idea whose theme is "the mysterious and all powerful cosmos" - this is what makes it stand out from other more grounded self-help books, and the popularity that rose from that is likely the biggest reason why you think it's a reputable source of information when trying to sound unbiased.

The Secret is not a hoax, it is real. The law of attraction is very real.

THE SECRET =/= LAWS OF ATTRACTION
Stop fvcking saying this. THE SECRET is a book about the cosmos and how it reads cosmic radiation waves of positive thoughts coming from earth, and sends positive cosmic energy back to Earth and into your life. Yes, it's about laws of attraction and being happy and being successful, but so are tons of other self-help books. You can't use them all all-encompassing sources because they have their own little quirks.

It's like using Scientology as an example of religion as a whole. Don't do it, especially if your only excuse to use it is because "scientists believe the soul exist. Therefore, Scientology, which says humans have souls, is scientific and dependable as an academic source."

Just because THE SECRET is about LAWS OF ATTRACTION doesn't make it the same as other books about the same thing. It's the same with all non-fiction books - an American History book teaching WWII is not the same as a German History book teaching WWII (and don't bother debating this with me).
You DO NOT cite books as sources simply because you agree with the shelves they are sorted in at the bookstore. You cannot say "Oh, this book touches upon the laws of attraction? I'll use it as a source then."
You cite books (or any other source of information or data) because you understand what is said within its pages and you find that it connects with your thesis.
When others tell you that it doesn't relate to your thesis at all and that you're mistaken, you take that into account. You don't ignore our educated criticism, especially by showing us you don't know about THE SECRET as a book -you only know it as "a book that says stuff about laws of attraction."


EDIT: to your post below me
Thanks for not reading this entire post or addressing my arguments against you, only to have you say the same thing again. My arguments are here. Take them or leave them.
I don't care if other people talk about "visualizing what you want." Yes, it works, because it changes your mindset. THE SECRET is not about mindset, it's about some cosmic godlike power granting you your wishes through "positivity airwaves". Using it as your article's scientific spine is a poor choice and you should accept that criticism because I can tell you it is definitely accurate.

If your belief system is backed up by sensationalist theories rather than scientific or philosophical theories, then you've already lost the battle of appearing credible (especially when you dress them up as your article's factual foundation). And don't use a source and claim it's scientific proof when you admit you don't care at all about the details and simply used it as a source because it worked for you.

My advice: if you want to sell your seduction classes and whatnot, you don't need to put so much effort into trying to sound credible and academic by using sources that aren't in-line with the subject matter you are dealing with. It's counter productive.

 

[sorin]

I have read the book and I have seen the movie called The Secret.

I have quoted it because I understand the subtlety of the law of attraction.

I have used visualisation of my objectives, and believing thay will happen and many good things have happened to me, spontaneously, out of a sudden and when I saw those opportunities arise I took action instantly to make them happen.

The Secret is inspired by Abraham Hicks, the women that is a medium and hears the voice of Abraham that tells her about this information. I don't care for the source, and for that bull****, I just care for it's effectiveness in my life.

Napoleon Hill also talked about the same Visualization and Belief you have received what you visualised, in his Think and Grow Rich book... and many others...

 

[bornyesterday]

thank you for missing/ignoring the point that was made above

 

[slaog]

EDIT: to your post below me
Thanks for not reading this entire post or addressing my arguments against you, only to have you say the same thing again. My arguments are here. Take them or leave them.
I don't care if other people talk about "visualizing what you want." Yes, it works, because it changes your mindset. THE SECRET is not about mindset, it's about some cosmic godlike power granting you your wishes through "positivity airwaves". Using it as your article's scientific spine is a poor choice and you should accept that criticism because I can tell you it is definitely accurate.

If your belief system is backed up by sensationalist theories rather than scientific or philosophical theories, then you've already lost the battle of appearing credible (especially when you dress them up as your article's factual foundation). And don't use a source and claim it's scientific proof when you admit you don't care at all about the details and simply used it as a source because it worked for you.

My advice: if you want to sell your seduction classes and whatnot, you don't need to put so much effort into trying to sound credible and academic by using sources that aren't in-line with the subject matter you are dealing with. It's counter productive.

Heres a video explaining it more scientifically. I believe it goes deeper then mindset. For example mindset doesn't explain why some people get lucky.


Heres an interesting video (part 1) about it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSk51Lp-vHU

 

[bornyesterday]

Yeah I recommend The Love Guru. Its also about a spiritual travel. At the end the main charachter finds out its all about attitude (not the same as mindset, deeper) and elephants. I learned so much. No science required.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmv1Ai2P7uQ&feature=related