Grateful of some advice with this one

[George]

Hi guys I am going to put this as simply as possible, be grateful of some advice. I have never really had a proper relationship before and have only ever dated, so thus have played the games etc which has always seemed to work. Anyway, I met this girl and she had just come out of a relationship (of 3.5 years) so I 'stood on the sidelines' to make sure that she was ready and played the games and she was keen. Anyway three months in and we had noticed that we were trying to make it too perfect and then started being real. In the first three months i saw her once or twice a week and it was really casual, and we got to know each other but in little bits. Anyway, the last two months I have started seeing her a lot more (sometimes two/three days in a row). This week because I have been off work I have seen her every night for five nights and I also spent new years eve and today with her. NOTE: last week I told her I love her and she reciprocated. And last night she said she loves me and 'just wants to love me'. I am reknowned for over analysing things but today she was just quiet and although she was going to stay with me tonight she said she doesnt want the relationship to 'get to a stage where we live in each others pockets (this is because she went awol in her last relationship)', everyone needs 'me time' though.

Oh I had been confused before and had distanced myself before and she recognised this and said to me she wouldnt say she is crazy about me and she loves me if she didnt mean it... and that she doesnt talk bull****.

I was wondering if anyone can shed some light here, I think I maybe overanalysing and everything is fine, but after seeing her for about five days on the run the last day she goes quiet. She has said in the past that relationships in general need people to miss each other.

Grateful of any help guys thanks

 

[horaholic]

she wouldnt say she is crazy about me and she loves me if she didnt mean it... and that she doesnt talk bull****.

First thing you need to learn here is to NEVER believe shyt like that coming from a females mouth. Every guy in the world has been told that crap. She may or may not mean it, but assume she's full of shyt, cuz all women are, even the ones that are 'special,' and 'love you.'

Secondly, it sounds like you are being too available, and she's starting to see you as clingy, or needy, and she will not EVER tell you this directly, it is something you need to recognize on your own, cuz she will either dump you or cheat on you, if she feels, you are 'trapping' her, or whatever chick-lingo she wants to use. You need to spend time away from her. You are a man, and you do whatever you want, whenever you want , and in between those times you can hang out with her, but she CANNOT be the focus of your life. Read the DJ Bible at the bottom of the page, and you will understand better.

"She has said in the past that relationships in general need people to miss each other." This is one of the RARE occasions where you should really believe her.


It sounds like you are nipping this in the bud, which is good. I think you're intuitions are good, and you know somethings wrong, and I can almost guarantee you that you are just spending too much time together. Back off, and hang out with your buddies more, even if she says she loves how much time you spend together. Dont believe it, cuz she doesnt know what she wants, but deep down, her primal instincts know that an alpha male will not be around so much, so be alpha, or she will find one.

BTW, what do you mean 'awol' in her last relationship? You dont mean she cheated, do you? Also, you need to post you age in your profile, or this thread will be locked.

 

[sodbuster]

Never say I love you first. She may have just said it because you did[as a way of avoiding confrontation][just like getting a phone # when you ask,but they never answer.] NEVER spend so much time with a woman,unless you are married[probably not even then]. She may THINK she wants more time together,may complain about it, but "familiarity breeds contempt" Burn that Idea into your brain-it applies to any woman anyhwere.