VoodooChild
Senior Don Juan
Grand Theft Female: The Guide
Okay, guys, you asked for it (well, a few of you did,) so here it is. VoodooChild's official, improved and expanded guide to Grand Theft Female. In other words, stealing someone's girlfriend.
Before we even get started, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself. First off, why are you interested in stealing someone's girlfriend? If it's because the guy's a douchebag and you want to screw him over, fine. If it's because you want to put your DJ skills to a more demanding test than ordinary pickups, you're welcome here. If it's because the girl really interests you and you'd like to give things a shot with her, but there's A Minor Problem, you're in the right place. If it's because you think she's your soul mate, the one and only girl for you, and you can't stand the thought of her with someone else, please show yourself to the exit at this time. Go ahead, click that little back button on your browser and go find one of the zillions of threads out there on the phenomenon of "Oneitis." Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Still here? Good. Next question: do you have any ethical problems with stealing someone's girl? Many guys do. Fine. But I don't, a lot of other guys don't, and it's for them that I'm writing this. If it bothers you to do this, don't do it.
Are you afraid of rejection? If so, this will be rocky for you. I would steer clear unless you've overcome your dread of being shot down.
What is your goal beyond stealing her? If you are interested in dating this girl, casually, seriously, whatever, fine. If you're just a sadistic bastard who wants to break up a relationship for grins, that works too. Be advised you're going to have some work on your hands to scrape this girl off your back, though. If you want to do it for a one-night stand.... ehh, probably this isn't for you. There are many easier ways of doing this. Plus, if you use these techniques and then dump her after one night, you will have an enemy for life. If that's all right with you, you can do it, but I'd really advise against it.
Finally, is your game tight? It needs to be. You should be having consistent success using DJ techniques on unattached girls before making a run at this.
Okay, if you're still here, on to the nuts and bolts of how to pull it off.
The first step, obviously, is to ask a girl out. Now I gotta warn you, this is where a good 2 to 3 out of every 4 of these attempts will fail. This is the hard part. So anyway, you ask her out, and she says she has a boyfriend. Most guys will bail at this point. You, however, will not. You will respond with something along the lines of this: "Oh, I see. Can I come to the wedding?" She says: "Oh, we're not engaged yet." You say: "Well, then it's not too serious to go get lunch with me sometime." She'll laugh, and hopefully agree. If she doesn't... hey, you've been shot down before, this is no different. If she does, you're on course. Continue normal DJing from there. Think of this as a pick-up attempt that could last several weeks or months, and use the exact same techniques. Unless her boyfriend's a DJ too, you will be on the right track. If he is, you're probably SOL. Sorry. But then, you probably wouldn't have gotten in the door in the first place if he was.
During the course of your extended pick-up attempt, whatever you do, don't talk sh1t on her boyfriend. That'll make you look jealous and insecure, not to mention desperate and needy. Your attempt will come to a crashing halt, and you will take a hard left into The Friend Zone. If you're lucky. Bottom line, don't mention the boyfriend if you don't have to. If he comes up, change the subject. As a general rule, you DON'T want her thinking about him while you're around.
However, if you do things right, the boyfriend will probably eventually come up. Don't worry, I'm going to tell you how to deal with this eventuality too. I know this next bit will be controversial around here. I'm just telling what has worked for me. A little bit of emotional tamponing is not necessarily a bad thing in this situation. Don't let it be a full-time deal, though. But if she starts complaining about stuff the boyfriend's doing, just find little subtle ways to show the difference between AFC (him) and DJ (you.) For example (stealing liberally from another post on here) if she complains that he never sends her flowers (just an example,) pick one from somebody's flower garden or something and tell her, "I was thinking of you when I stole this just now." (Big ****y grin.) If she complains about how jealous he is, talk about how you treat the girls you date, how you let them be free to do what they want and don't expect them to always tell you where they are at all times, that bit. And remember, ****y and funny. Nonstop. Keep it light.
Your efforts will be helped immeasurably if the existing relationship is long distance. If this is the case, the boyfriend doesn't have a daily influence upon her life, so you won't have to worry abou her seeing him every day and feeling guilty for liking another guy. Also, her visits to the boyfriend can be your very bestest friend in the whole wide world. Girls sometimes build up these idealized, wonderful images of their boyfriends that NO MAN can live up to when she doesn't see him for a long time. When she visits him, her illusions will be shattered, she'll see him as he is, and he'll look WORSE than he actually is in her eyes because he doesn't measure up to her image of him. Finally, if her boyfriend lives a long way away, it's harder for him to come after you with a shotgun.
Basically, just hang out with her (SPARINGLY, you don't want to end up in the friend zone,) keep the regular DJ stuff like neghits and the C'n'F going. This next bit is KEY. Keep seeing some other girls. Give the girl you're trying to steal some hints you're interested, but nothing too blatant. Keep her off balance, keep her wondering what you're up to. If she's wondering what you're up to, she's thinking about YOU and not her boyfriend. This is a good thing.
Hopefully, at some point, she'll mention hanging out with you to the long distance boyfriend, causing him to throw a jealous AFC fit. This makes him look like an insecure little boy and you come out smelling like roses.
If all goes well, after a while of this, she will eventually decide she'd be better off with you. Remember, attraction isn't a choice.
A few caveats: this playbook is not, by any means, a sure thing. I can't overemphasize this: keep seeing other girls. It'll stave off the onset of one-itis, which even the most skilled DJs can fall victim to. It'll keep your game sharp, your social proof strong and your challenge level high. Also, seeing other girls is a good idea because this way, you don't put all your eggs in one basket. This is a very good thing, because the conversion rate on "theft" attempts tends to be kind of low. It's at about 50 percent for me, once I get the first date. And that's the REAL hard part. Again, for the approach to secure the first date, just keep it light, don't let on that it's a -DATE-, just make like you just want to chill with her. Again, let her wonder where you stand and what your agenda is. Actually, you should be probably doing that for first dates anyhow.
Above all, this takes time. Be patient, don't get antsy and do something you know is stupid (poems, anyone?) If you date another girl while you're working this who you want to explore something more serious with, absolutely DO IT. Because as I said, the conversion rate can be low.
I can't emphasize this enough: don't directly talk sh1t on her boyfriend. This will NOT help your cause. Actions speak louder than words: SHOW her why she'd be better off with you. Don't SAY anything about it. It's got to seem like her idea. If you tell her she'd be better off with you, forget it. If you show her why you're better than her boyfriend, she'll decide it on her own.
I think some of you may have questions now, and I'll try to address the most likely ones here.
"VoodooChild, is this really worth the effort?" Maybe. Maybe not. It'd be a lot easier to get an unattached girl. In much the same way, it's easier to bench 20 pounds than 200. Guess which one improves you more? Also, if you really think this girl is special and want to give things a shot with her, but she's got a boyfriend, it's worth your while to try. BUT NOT IF YOU HAVE ONE-ITIS, I can't overstress that. If it's something you want, but not something you need, it's worth the effort. If it's something you need, something else you need is a reality check and a swift kick in the arse.
"VoodooChild, if I can get her to dump her BF for another guy, can't some other guy do this to me?" I suppose that's probably true. Live by the sword, die by the sword. However, I doubt my techniques will work against a DJ. I think they're only going to ve effective on AFCs. So bottom line, no, I don't think someone using my guide would be able to steal my girl. Actually, if someone were trying to use my playbook to steal my girl, I'd seriously laugh my @ss off.
"But what about Bros Before Hos, VoodooChild?" Well, if the guy lives several hours away and I've never met him, if he treats the girl like crap, if he's a total chump, or if I just don't like him, he's hardly a "bro" to me. I would never ever EVER do this to a friend, though.
"I'd never steal a taken girl, VoodooChild." Fine. I realize some guys have ethical issues with doing this. I, for one, do not, and I think quite a few guys on this board also do not. I posted this for them. As I said earlier, if doing this bothers you, don't do it. Simple as that.
Anyway, good luck with your thievery. Let me know if you have any questions; I'll be happy to try to help you out. Hope this helps somebody out.
Okay, guys, you asked for it (well, a few of you did,) so here it is. VoodooChild's official, improved and expanded guide to Grand Theft Female. In other words, stealing someone's girlfriend.
Before we even get started, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself. First off, why are you interested in stealing someone's girlfriend? If it's because the guy's a douchebag and you want to screw him over, fine. If it's because you want to put your DJ skills to a more demanding test than ordinary pickups, you're welcome here. If it's because the girl really interests you and you'd like to give things a shot with her, but there's A Minor Problem, you're in the right place. If it's because you think she's your soul mate, the one and only girl for you, and you can't stand the thought of her with someone else, please show yourself to the exit at this time. Go ahead, click that little back button on your browser and go find one of the zillions of threads out there on the phenomenon of "Oneitis." Don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Still here? Good. Next question: do you have any ethical problems with stealing someone's girl? Many guys do. Fine. But I don't, a lot of other guys don't, and it's for them that I'm writing this. If it bothers you to do this, don't do it.
Are you afraid of rejection? If so, this will be rocky for you. I would steer clear unless you've overcome your dread of being shot down.
What is your goal beyond stealing her? If you are interested in dating this girl, casually, seriously, whatever, fine. If you're just a sadistic bastard who wants to break up a relationship for grins, that works too. Be advised you're going to have some work on your hands to scrape this girl off your back, though. If you want to do it for a one-night stand.... ehh, probably this isn't for you. There are many easier ways of doing this. Plus, if you use these techniques and then dump her after one night, you will have an enemy for life. If that's all right with you, you can do it, but I'd really advise against it.
Finally, is your game tight? It needs to be. You should be having consistent success using DJ techniques on unattached girls before making a run at this.
Okay, if you're still here, on to the nuts and bolts of how to pull it off.
The first step, obviously, is to ask a girl out. Now I gotta warn you, this is where a good 2 to 3 out of every 4 of these attempts will fail. This is the hard part. So anyway, you ask her out, and she says she has a boyfriend. Most guys will bail at this point. You, however, will not. You will respond with something along the lines of this: "Oh, I see. Can I come to the wedding?" She says: "Oh, we're not engaged yet." You say: "Well, then it's not too serious to go get lunch with me sometime." She'll laugh, and hopefully agree. If she doesn't... hey, you've been shot down before, this is no different. If she does, you're on course. Continue normal DJing from there. Think of this as a pick-up attempt that could last several weeks or months, and use the exact same techniques. Unless her boyfriend's a DJ too, you will be on the right track. If he is, you're probably SOL. Sorry. But then, you probably wouldn't have gotten in the door in the first place if he was.
During the course of your extended pick-up attempt, whatever you do, don't talk sh1t on her boyfriend. That'll make you look jealous and insecure, not to mention desperate and needy. Your attempt will come to a crashing halt, and you will take a hard left into The Friend Zone. If you're lucky. Bottom line, don't mention the boyfriend if you don't have to. If he comes up, change the subject. As a general rule, you DON'T want her thinking about him while you're around.
However, if you do things right, the boyfriend will probably eventually come up. Don't worry, I'm going to tell you how to deal with this eventuality too. I know this next bit will be controversial around here. I'm just telling what has worked for me. A little bit of emotional tamponing is not necessarily a bad thing in this situation. Don't let it be a full-time deal, though. But if she starts complaining about stuff the boyfriend's doing, just find little subtle ways to show the difference between AFC (him) and DJ (you.) For example (stealing liberally from another post on here) if she complains that he never sends her flowers (just an example,) pick one from somebody's flower garden or something and tell her, "I was thinking of you when I stole this just now." (Big ****y grin.) If she complains about how jealous he is, talk about how you treat the girls you date, how you let them be free to do what they want and don't expect them to always tell you where they are at all times, that bit. And remember, ****y and funny. Nonstop. Keep it light.
Your efforts will be helped immeasurably if the existing relationship is long distance. If this is the case, the boyfriend doesn't have a daily influence upon her life, so you won't have to worry abou her seeing him every day and feeling guilty for liking another guy. Also, her visits to the boyfriend can be your very bestest friend in the whole wide world. Girls sometimes build up these idealized, wonderful images of their boyfriends that NO MAN can live up to when she doesn't see him for a long time. When she visits him, her illusions will be shattered, she'll see him as he is, and he'll look WORSE than he actually is in her eyes because he doesn't measure up to her image of him. Finally, if her boyfriend lives a long way away, it's harder for him to come after you with a shotgun.
Basically, just hang out with her (SPARINGLY, you don't want to end up in the friend zone,) keep the regular DJ stuff like neghits and the C'n'F going. This next bit is KEY. Keep seeing some other girls. Give the girl you're trying to steal some hints you're interested, but nothing too blatant. Keep her off balance, keep her wondering what you're up to. If she's wondering what you're up to, she's thinking about YOU and not her boyfriend. This is a good thing.
Hopefully, at some point, she'll mention hanging out with you to the long distance boyfriend, causing him to throw a jealous AFC fit. This makes him look like an insecure little boy and you come out smelling like roses.
If all goes well, after a while of this, she will eventually decide she'd be better off with you. Remember, attraction isn't a choice.
A few caveats: this playbook is not, by any means, a sure thing. I can't overemphasize this: keep seeing other girls. It'll stave off the onset of one-itis, which even the most skilled DJs can fall victim to. It'll keep your game sharp, your social proof strong and your challenge level high. Also, seeing other girls is a good idea because this way, you don't put all your eggs in one basket. This is a very good thing, because the conversion rate on "theft" attempts tends to be kind of low. It's at about 50 percent for me, once I get the first date. And that's the REAL hard part. Again, for the approach to secure the first date, just keep it light, don't let on that it's a -DATE-, just make like you just want to chill with her. Again, let her wonder where you stand and what your agenda is. Actually, you should be probably doing that for first dates anyhow.
Above all, this takes time. Be patient, don't get antsy and do something you know is stupid (poems, anyone?) If you date another girl while you're working this who you want to explore something more serious with, absolutely DO IT. Because as I said, the conversion rate can be low.
I can't emphasize this enough: don't directly talk sh1t on her boyfriend. This will NOT help your cause. Actions speak louder than words: SHOW her why she'd be better off with you. Don't SAY anything about it. It's got to seem like her idea. If you tell her she'd be better off with you, forget it. If you show her why you're better than her boyfriend, she'll decide it on her own.
I think some of you may have questions now, and I'll try to address the most likely ones here.
"VoodooChild, is this really worth the effort?" Maybe. Maybe not. It'd be a lot easier to get an unattached girl. In much the same way, it's easier to bench 20 pounds than 200. Guess which one improves you more? Also, if you really think this girl is special and want to give things a shot with her, but she's got a boyfriend, it's worth your while to try. BUT NOT IF YOU HAVE ONE-ITIS, I can't overstress that. If it's something you want, but not something you need, it's worth the effort. If it's something you need, something else you need is a reality check and a swift kick in the arse.
"VoodooChild, if I can get her to dump her BF for another guy, can't some other guy do this to me?" I suppose that's probably true. Live by the sword, die by the sword. However, I doubt my techniques will work against a DJ. I think they're only going to ve effective on AFCs. So bottom line, no, I don't think someone using my guide would be able to steal my girl. Actually, if someone were trying to use my playbook to steal my girl, I'd seriously laugh my @ss off.
"But what about Bros Before Hos, VoodooChild?" Well, if the guy lives several hours away and I've never met him, if he treats the girl like crap, if he's a total chump, or if I just don't like him, he's hardly a "bro" to me. I would never ever EVER do this to a friend, though.
"I'd never steal a taken girl, VoodooChild." Fine. I realize some guys have ethical issues with doing this. I, for one, do not, and I think quite a few guys on this board also do not. I posted this for them. As I said earlier, if doing this bothers you, don't do it. Simple as that.
Anyway, good luck with your thievery. Let me know if you have any questions; I'll be happy to try to help you out. Hope this helps somebody out.
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