Alright fellows i think i got played, anyways there is this girl that I have met recently at work don't worry we work in a call center so it doesn't really matter if I stay or not at this job. Well this girl has been giving me the whole interet level giving me hug, everytime I look at her she smiles, a direct eye contact, when she passes my desk she always touches my shoulders, send me emails that hints she likes me, but when I try to ask her to hang out with me she doesn't reply i mean wtf? I mean I even ask her tn# through email do you think by using email to ask a girl out or for tn# ruins the chances with her
got played?
- Thread starter mazda
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TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
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She's probably just attention seeking. She'll do everything it takes short of actually dating you to validate herself as attractive by your attention.
Ignore her. Coldly. See how she likes that.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
yep this is aw example
hey till the end of time "She'll do everything it takes short of actually dating you to validate herself as attractive by your attention"what does these mean? and why do girls do this kind ofs@#$t do you think I should still pursue her? I really feel like I was decieved I mean she gave every hint that she was interested in me I feel really deceived how can I overcome this
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
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I'm not sure where you're from, but this attention seeking attitude is well known in north america. North america breeds these monsters.
What I meant by my statement was that she is not attracted to you. She is attracted to the attention you give her.
This is how it works:
1) She flirts
This is the bait. She gives you a hint that she likes you.
2) She gauges your reaction
You immediately jump on the bait. You response positively to her hints. This lets her know she has good bait. She feels better about herself.
3) You try to persue her further
Her ego gets boosted even more. Now she's feeling even better about herself. She feels attractive.
4) You ask for a date
She somehow declines (i.e, ignoring you). She does this because if you HAVE her, you won't be persuing anymore and she will lose the attention she is craving.
5) The cycle repeats
When she senses you're losing interest because she doesn't go out with you, she'll step up her hints another notch to try and get you to bite on her bait again.
DO NOT PERSUE HER FURTHER. Nothing will come of it. Don't fall into her games. Turn them around on her. COLDLY ignore her. It is the best thing you can do for your self-esteem before she destroys it by making you do tricks for her like some dog.
Move on. Find another girl. She is not worth your time.
dude thanks a lot did some research on the forum and damn the whole signs of interest that AW show i have gotten from her, men I was about to beat myself up this whole weekend but f@$#$K her I swear I would been obsessed on what kind of thing I did wrong that srewed my chances with her. So let say she emails me should I just ignore her? or when she touhes me do i tell please don't touch me any advice on what to do in the future? and I'm from North America
First off, great advice from TillTheEndOfTime. She craves you attention not you, like he said.
In response to your last question, mazda, would you really want a hot girl to stop touching you? I don't mind girls touching me - for one it's great SOCIAL PROOF to other chicks.
I understand why you feel like telling her to stop (you feel she is manipulating you), but instead now that you know her game, accept the touching for what it is (not genuine interest).
You could even play into it yourself and touch her back, although as in this case this is it at work you have to be careful, so some people would say that is not advisable (esp. if she turns psycho at some point and claims sexual harassment). You need a feel for the boundaries.
And as always with attention wh0res (or any girl), never let them know they've gotten to you. So don't ignore her, act pissed etc, however you don't have to make any special effort with her, instead just treat her like anyone else.
In response to your last question, mazda, would you really want a hot girl to stop touching you? I don't mind girls touching me - for one it's great SOCIAL PROOF to other chicks.
I understand why you feel like telling her to stop (you feel she is manipulating you), but instead now that you know her game, accept the touching for what it is (not genuine interest).
You could even play into it yourself and touch her back, although as in this case this is it at work you have to be careful, so some people would say that is not advisable (esp. if she turns psycho at some point and claims sexual harassment). You need a feel for the boundaries.
And as always with attention wh0res (or any girl), never let them know they've gotten to you. So don't ignore her, act pissed etc, however you don't have to make any special effort with her, instead just treat her like anyone else.
great advice dude I really needed to hear that from someone in this forum, a real rude awakening for me that a girl like her would be someone like that I would of never guess. Guess to show that no matter how innocent they look they are just AW. now when I see her I'm just going to act plainly and not to show any neg feelings or emotions or pissed off feelings, but just be cool like and keep my composure
What I would do...
TillTheEndOfTime, JJMcLure, good advice... but...
mazda: The most simple thing to do, which wont leave u wondering "what if" is to just go up to her, in a serious manner, and ask her whats up with all the hints and emails etc, and then when u ask her is she wants to go on a date she ignores u... look her in the eye's, show her that u are not going to play along with her games, tell her that if she wants to play mind games, that ur not the person to do it with. Then hear what she has to say... My bet is that she will probably give u some lame excuse why she never replied to you when u asked her to go out somewhere, but then you must say to her that you think she is talking bullsh!t, and that she mustn’t try take you for a fool, cause you don’t have time for her stupid games. then go on to say to her, bluntly, "So what is it you want from me? cause if u want, I’ll read you some of the emails u sent me, and you tell me if that’s not hinting something" ... then say "so... what IS it u want? because if its just my friendship, then why are you trying to lead me on?" ... you see what I mean? u are putting her in her pace, right there and then, I do this, and it works perfectly, and girls actually like this in a guy, it shows he is confident.
Anyways.... good luck, hope you sort things out soon man...
Laterz...
TillTheEndOfTime, JJMcLure, good advice... but...
mazda: The most simple thing to do, which wont leave u wondering "what if" is to just go up to her, in a serious manner, and ask her whats up with all the hints and emails etc, and then when u ask her is she wants to go on a date she ignores u... look her in the eye's, show her that u are not going to play along with her games, tell her that if she wants to play mind games, that ur not the person to do it with. Then hear what she has to say... My bet is that she will probably give u some lame excuse why she never replied to you when u asked her to go out somewhere, but then you must say to her that you think she is talking bullsh!t, and that she mustn’t try take you for a fool, cause you don’t have time for her stupid games. then go on to say to her, bluntly, "So what is it you want from me? cause if u want, I’ll read you some of the emails u sent me, and you tell me if that’s not hinting something" ... then say "so... what IS it u want? because if its just my friendship, then why are you trying to lead me on?" ... you see what I mean? u are putting her in her pace, right there and then, I do this, and it works perfectly, and girls actually like this in a guy, it shows he is confident.
Anyways.... good luck, hope you sort things out soon man...
Laterz...
Plain & Simple
Senior Don Juan
couldn't had said it better myself
well in case of emails i once told her why on her breaks she doesn't stop by my desk and say hi to me. So I told her next time she passes by she better give me a hug and a massage and she gives me the hug. from that moment she always passes by and gives me hug and always touching my shoulder on a circular motion. But you know what I will start ignoring her not on an emotional way but in a confident way saying to the girl I'm not playing your game so f#$#k off
Just a thought...
a) Ignore her and nothing will happen and u create a stupid vibe between the 2 of u filled with confusion
or
b) You take 2 minutes of your time setting things straight with her and then the 2 of you will walk away fro eachother knowing the situaion and where u guys stand, and she will also cut out the bs.
I would go with option "b", and i have been going with option "b" my whole life, and IMO, it works far better than option "a"... but everyone to his own i guess
Laterz...
Because ignoring her wont help... u are just closing that window of opportunity, what is a better ting to do:
a) Ignore her and nothing will happen and u create a stupid vibe between the 2 of u filled with confusion
or
b) You take 2 minutes of your time setting things straight with her and then the 2 of you will walk away fro eachother knowing the situaion and where u guys stand, and she will also cut out the bs.
I would go with option "b", and i have been going with option "b" my whole life, and IMO, it works far better than option "a"... but everyone to his own i guess
Laterz...
I'd be more inclined to take option A.
Leaving her wondering will only see her start playing her games again only for you to be the one in control which will lead her to ask you outside of work sometime.
Cut contact and let her sweat.. Girls don't want a guy sweating on them, its supposed to be the other way around and thats how they like it. Don't come out with the heart to heart stuff, its not what she wants to hear and if you do, you's will end up as friends forever more if anything.
Leaving her wondering will only see her start playing her games again only for you to be the one in control which will lead her to ask you outside of work sometime.
Cut contact and let her sweat.. Girls don't want a guy sweating on them, its supposed to be the other way around and thats how they like it. Don't come out with the heart to heart stuff, its not what she wants to hear and if you do, you's will end up as friends forever more if anything.
Just do it...
mazda... just confront her, and get the truth out, and make sure she cuts out the bullsh!t, if she IS interested, then good, meet up and "spread the love", if not, then at least she will cut out the mind games and her bs.
With MY way, u GET an answer, and u KNOW what to do about the situation, where if u just ignore her, it will just delay the inevitable.... CONFRONT HER!
Laterz...
You might be right, but that would depend on the woman as an individual.... she might react by finding out whats going on and do something like ask him whats up and/or speak to him, where he will then tell her what I suggested he tell her now already, or, she could just give up and/or get the hint/idea that he doesn’t want anything to do with her, and she will leave him alone, closing that window of opportunity.
mazda... just confront her, and get the truth out, and make sure she cuts out the bullsh!t, if she IS interested, then good, meet up and "spread the love", if not, then at least she will cut out the mind games and her bs.
With MY way, u GET an answer, and u KNOW what to do about the situation, where if u just ignore her, it will just delay the inevitable.... CONFRONT HER!
Laterz...
Same thing happened to me at work and is still happening ..
All I do now is ignore her and watch the ho3 to do anything to get my attentiong ... she wore a dress with bells I am not ****ing joking with bells ( ching ching ching) and always walks by me and stares. There are 2 routes to go out but she always takes the one where I am sitting .... :crackup: . If you are like me with I dont give a zhit attitude then I suggest you ignore but if it's getting on your nervous follow ~ªêQµïTª$~ method !
CHING CHING CHING :crackup:
Id strongly suggest against going up and giving her a "what happened??" speech. You'll only lose all your dignity and control over the situation. I'd never acknowledge the situation.
In fact I went through something like this recently with an attention w***e who was sending signals and shakin that ass for me only to flake when I went to seal the deal. She flaked one day when I tried to build rapport, so I ignored her and she starting flirting again, appearing out of nowhere and playing interceptor. So I went for the #. Chick flaked again..."Oh I don't give out my number." I was pissed that I gave her the satisfaction but completely ignored the ***** after that and lo and behold here she comes waggin that ass again. But she failed the test and won't get further attention.
I think it's impossible for us to spot an AW from jump, they have to show their pattern for hot and cold behavior. We all get nervous or have a bad day so I may give a girl 2, possibly even 3 chances, but the 3rd test will leave no doubt where IM coming from and if she aint on board she gets the stamp of disapproval and no further contact. I guess the key is clearing the mind and not HOPING. Just guage interest based on her consistency and more than 2 serious red flags removes her from the running.
So I highly suggest you retain your power and cut connects.
In fact I went through something like this recently with an attention w***e who was sending signals and shakin that ass for me only to flake when I went to seal the deal. She flaked one day when I tried to build rapport, so I ignored her and she starting flirting again, appearing out of nowhere and playing interceptor. So I went for the #. Chick flaked again..."Oh I don't give out my number." I was pissed that I gave her the satisfaction but completely ignored the ***** after that and lo and behold here she comes waggin that ass again. But she failed the test and won't get further attention.
I think it's impossible for us to spot an AW from jump, they have to show their pattern for hot and cold behavior. We all get nervous or have a bad day so I may give a girl 2, possibly even 3 chances, but the 3rd test will leave no doubt where IM coming from and if she aint on board she gets the stamp of disapproval and no further contact. I guess the key is clearing the mind and not HOPING. Just guage interest based on her consistency and more than 2 serious red flags removes her from the running.
So I highly suggest you retain your power and cut connects.
oh shi$#T that is the same thing I'm going through now if we are keeping red flags I think I'm on my second one already. First was I ask for ther tn#, then she mentioned something about an event that we have here in Diego once a year and how I should take her and she is not suppose to take me( I was being c +F with her teasing she should take me) I ask her if she wanted to go didn't even get a respond wtf on both of these. I mean she was giving every hint possible she always touching me in my shoulder, gave me a hug one day when i told her why she didn't stop by on her break, and almost every day now she is always touching my shoulder, wtf! anyways what should I do now for ex. today I was ignoring her you know giving her a nod here or two but I know she wants me notice her when she passes by me I still want to hit it but a really good chance that she is an AW from what everyone is saying here. So do I keep ignoring her and what should I do on the third try. Sorry about the long reply bro
