Got her number, mixed signals now!

[baurman]

At first I thought she'd be interested in me but she's been boring me through text so I don't even want to text her because she doesn't start conversations, it's just answering to my texts. I'm more of a physical person. I connect with people in person or on the phone way better than text. I called her last night and she didn't answer, and she never called me back..... No biggie. But then, today, she shows up at my job with her friends. I'm a server. so I served them, I cracked jokes to her friends, made them laugh. I could see her checking me out in my peripheral vision. She also touched my hand when I gave her a fork, when she took it out of my hand she grabbed my hand and this is a big IOI. No other customer touches my hand when I hand them something. I never mentioned anything about the phone call or anything we just talked normally. The other host was talking to her and she said she never had a boyfriend before cause she's very "picky" and I come across as a ****y/funny type of guy but maybe she mistakens that and thinks I'm being conceited.

How do I break her walls down and get her to trust me and let me take her out? It's not like she denied me, but it seems like she's avoiding it now. She never initiates any call/text or shows any interest now that we have each others number's.
I've already asked her when I got her number "We should hang out sometime" and she was saying "we should!" and she was happy about it. The only problem is she is boring over the phone and through text. I can't seem to get past her guard, and the closest I've ever gotten to doing it was in Person. That's why I feel like it's critical that I take her out soon so I can make her laugh in person. But I'm having trouble getting to that point. Because she's so boring on the phone, would it be better to just call her one last time and just ask her "What are you doing Friday night?" Nothing? Great Lets go to the carnival together." or what would be the best way to do this in my situation? Cause I'm close to just giving up on her already.

 

[Ace_Magnamus]

the texts you wrote to her were boring

I already told you what to say on the phone to ask her out

your thread doesn't sound real. i think you are a troll or either dumb.

you said she came to you work

you served her

she touches your hand

talks to a host saying she never had a bf

she doesn't call/text you

she said she wants to chill

then you dont ask her out when you get her on the phone after I told you what to say

sorry man but your thread doesn't sound real to me

 

[baurman]

why would i ask for advice for something fake? yes she came to my work.
i served her because i'm a server at a restaurant. she touched my hand when I handed her a fork. no customer ever touches my hand when i hand them things. she was talking to the hostess while i was there and she asked her if she had a boyfriend in which shes said "i've never had a boyfriend. I'm picky"
she doesn't call/text me first. i always initiated contact first. probably because she is really shy and has a huge wall up.

 

[Jariel]

One thing to remember. If a girl is interested in you, she will make it easy for you to ask her out. If you're getting barriers, mixed signals or you feel like you're chasing her, then she is probably not interested in anything more than flirting.

A lot of women flirt to make themselves feel good, or because they like a guy and want his attention, but it doesn't always mean they want to date you.

Back off and see if she comes to you. If not, then her interest is probably not high enough for you to date her.

 

[baurman]

what if she is really shy so she's afraid to make moves like calling? I understand if she's never had a boyfriend before. But I'm a well groomed clean cut kinda guy so maybe she is intimidated that I am interested in her. thats why I'm wondering if there are any techniques on how to break down her guard and try to get her to open up a bit more? I can't deny the IOI's she's been giving me. From locking eyes with her many times, laughing at my jokes, etc.

 

[HariPoter13]

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jariel again.

Damn. Anyway, your posts are extremely helpful Jariel. I especially like your "How to handle being dumped, stood up or rejected" thread. Thank you

 

[bilboteabaggins]

One thing to remember. If a girl is interested in you, she will make it easy for you to ask her out. If you're getting barriers, mixed signals or you feel like you're chasing her, then she is probably not interested in anything more than flirting.

A lot of women flirt to make themselves feel good, or because they like a guy and want his attention, but it doesn't always mean they want to date you.

Back off and see if she comes to you. If not, then her interest is probably not high enough for you to date her.

I know 2 girls that this advice would have lost them to someone else, both of them were very hot but were nice, shy and had a bit of old fashioned in them, would not ask out guys or seek/chase them...ever, no contact meant you fvcked yourself up and can kiss that poon goodbye because they wouldn't come to you or initiate anything, I know this because I did just that and was told later that one of them was crazy about me, the easiest way to tell with these rare types is if in person they get that sparkle in their eye when they see you

not to knock the poster, this is good advice and he always posts good stuff, just saying sometimes things don't apply as they normally do

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

i know a couple old fashioned girls like that. it's true. some girls expect the guys to do all the initiating.

 

[baurman]

See that's how I feel with this girl. I feel like she is one of those rare types and I have no idea how to act upon it. I want to make the moves but I don't want to do it too much and come across and being too needy/clingy. But on the other hand, if I don't show her much attention by not calling her, she'll think I just lost interest. The thing that gets me is when I do see her, we lock eyes and she just gives me that seductive look. That's why my gut is telling me she is interested in me.

 

[HappyHarryHardon]

girl im seeing does that when we are together. it's like paradise. but i gotta initiate most times. don't sweat it man, just contact her once a week in the middle of the week to arrange something for the weekend. that's all you need to do.

 

[themiltman]

Do you have any other plates your spinning? I am in a similar situation. I work with a girl and i got her number, and she sent me mixed messages, but the thing is i dont chase chicks i replace chicks. The question now is do you want to pursue someone that has lukewarm interest at best? Or do you want to find a new chick thats gonna go out of her way to respond to your text and phone calls? Good luck i hope things work out for you.

 

[Jeffst1980]

One thing to remember. If a girl is interested in you, she will make it easy for you to ask her out. If you're getting barriers, mixed signals or you feel like you're chasing her, then she is probably not interested in anything more than flirting.

A lot of women flirt to make themselves feel good, or because they like a guy and want his attention, but it doesn't always mean they want to date you.

Back off and see if she comes to you. If not, then her interest is probably not high enough for you to date her.

This.

Remember- just because a girl is ATTRACTED to you doesn't necessarily mean she's "interested." It's weird but true; people don't necessarily go after what they WANT if it's out of their comfort zone. The fact that she's never had a BF means this is out of her comfort zone.

I would wait this out. Stop contacting her, and let the withdrawal of your attention work its magic.

 

[HariPoter13]

I can't believe im posting the same post in a thread, but fuck it.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Jeffst1980 again.

A girl gives obvious signs that she's interested but later flakes. She must be an AW, right? Nope. She's just a pussy, afraid to go after the things she wants.

Jeff, you managed to explain what I couldn't fathom for a long time. Kudos to you for that.