Got an e-mail from the ex love of my life.

[schaff]

Okay a little background information. Went out for a year and was the only girl I really connected with in my entire dating history. I don't really think of her that much anymore and would consider myself over her and have had a couple of meaningful relationships since and a few not so Anyway we broke up when she moved away to Uni over a year ago (she didn't wanna do the long distance thing which I was kinda pissed off at but oh well) but have seen each other since on occasions and slept together a couple of times (probably a bit AFC since she was the one who called it off but I was more in the frame of mind she is a good lay). Anyway I get an e-mail from her today (I e-mailed a reply to a previous message of hers bout 2 months ago). Sorry its a bit long but I'd like you to look over the reply I have and analyse whether its suitable to send. I want to come across as still caring but moved on.

Her E-mail

Hey Sexy. I no , i'm crap! it took me so long to actually come to the lib to read my emails so i've only just read it!!!

anyhoo, how're things with u in sunny clacton? I'm staying in lesta all summer, in a flat, but cos rach is in france all summer and ben's in spain, it's just me...excellent!!!

if u can't get a good job in clacton u cud think about comin up here for a bit, just as mates tho...up 2 u.

im really snowed under with work at the mo, and im doin everythin but! never mind, how's ur course goin?

I hope ur still wanting to do something with music, it wud be a waste if u didn't, u hav lots of talent (that was a bit too nice for me i feel!)

i haven't got anythin much to say, apart from i miss u and i'm homesick!

mite get to see u soon, lots of love... xxx

p.s there's a lot more i want to say about us, but u've it heard it
before, if ur with someone or seein someone, i hope they make u happy xxx

My Reply

Wow that was wierd, I just logged on to my e-mail the minute it came through. I had to go through my sent messages to find out what I wrote to you last, was quite a while ago. I'm good thanks by the way (a little stressed with work though). Anyway I'll take a little time out from my busy schedule to send ya a brief description of whats going on in my strange little world of the at the moment

Sunny Clacton is same as always I guess. I went to the Pier for the first time in ages the other day, played Mini-Golf and kicked Smileys arse. Oh yeah I rule

Being snowed under with work seems to be the general theme with everyone at the moment. I gotta get all my assignments in for the 22nd ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!! I'll get it all done but I get so stressed sometimes. Looks like I won't be going out for the next 2 weeks. Its cool though cause I'm going to download festival on the 29th May so that's my reward for working hard (dear god its a first I tell ya). Line-up is f*ckin ace (yeah my language hasn't gotten any better).

Absolute nightmare though, I've got a sh*tty exam on my birthday. Luckily I'm gonna be finished by the afternoon so I'm gonna go up London with a few people to see Deftones in Brixton. Should be good.

Basically I'm gonna take any work I can which is outside over the summer. My Dad said he might be able to get me working for his bricklayer mate which will be cool.

Yeah that complementing bit of the message was strangely distant from your usual collection of insults Funny you should meant the music thing we (we being Shona) decided to spend all our gig earnings on recording a mini album/ep type thing. We're going in the studio for a week in July. We have like £600 so we are getting done on the cheap but it'll give us something to look back on the last couple of year with. We'll send it about a little bit as well see what comes of it I guess but cause I'm going Uni now its kinda f*cked up future gigging. I wanna get my Sound Engineering degree though and I'm sure as hell not sticking around here to do it.

Other than that its the same old Schaff (I don't change much). Watching films, playing guitar with anyone who'll let me jam with them and drinking (surprise, surprise ).

Don't be too homesick Soj, to be honest there ain't much different going on. Same old sh*t. No doubt I'll get to see you one point in the near future.

Till that time, take care sexy 1.

p.s. Miss you too and if you do come down at one point don't think I won't wanna see ya cause I would. I just get the impression that was you think through some of the txts you've sent me. If you get all lonely in ya flat on ya own give us a call and say hello, I'll be happy to talk to you. Really not sure about the whole me coming up to see you though, its not the company its just the situation would not be very comfortable for me staying in the same place and all.

p.p.s check your e-mail more and talk to you soon.

 

[numlock]

i have a few things to say....and just like when you get an essay or term paper edited by someone, don't take other people's suggestions to heart. go with whatever you feel is best. but here's my opinion

First of all, i get the feeling that you're not reading too deeply into her emails in general. That's great! It's really difficult to comprehend exactly what the person is trying to say if you can't analyze their tone of voice and body language. Emails aren't very useful because they let the imagination of the reader run wild while he misinterprets what the author had intended to convey. So don't take all this "Hey Sexy" and "xxx" stuff to heart.

Another thing you might want to consider is shortening the length of your reply. Perhaps make it about the same length as hers, a *tad* bit longer if you like. I think the more you write, the more attached you seem (anyone else have an opinion on this?). If you ramble on too much it makes it seem like you have nobody to talk to and you're spilling out all the stuff you've bottled up since the last time you chatted with her.

She says she wants to say more about your relationship but that you two have discussed it already. Does she want to get back together or something?

Perhaps modify this line:
"Other than that its the same old Schaff (I don't change much)."
Consider what impact this will have....you're essentially saying "I haven't changed since you left".......but do you want to get across the message that you *have* changed? and that she's missing out on this new change?

Also keep in mind women seem to read into emails a lot less....they don't over analyze things like guys do, so the above may not be necessary. depends on the girl i suppose

"If you get all lonely in ya flat on ya own give us a call and say hello, I'll be happy to talk to you"
Perhaps take out the part about "i'll be happy to talk to you". it makes it sound like you're doing her a favour.

"Really not sure about the whole me coming up to see you though, its not the company its just the situation would not be very comfortable for me staying in the same place and all."

You might want to re-word this...sorta sounds like you have a problem. try to come across as more manly, confident, and defiant. how you achieve this is up to you.

it's funny how i've said that you shouldn't read into emails too much......maybe i've done just that. hehehe oh well
good luck

 

[RKTek]

Schaff, I'm going to respond to certain sections of her email. I'll type all in caps to make it easier to see. Some consider ALL CAPS to be 'shouting', but in this case, it's not. I'll be speaking in a calm voice. Okay?


I'm staying in lesta all summer, in a flat, but cos rach is in france all summer and ben's in spain, it's just me...excellent!!!

MY REGULAR BOYFRIENDS ARE GONE AND I'M LONELY WITHOUT THEM. IT'S THE ONLY REASON I'M WRITING TO YOU.

if u can't get a good job in clacton u cud think about comin up here for a bit, just as mates tho...up 2 u.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO, YOU COULD FEED MY EGO BY COMING ALL THE WAY OVER HERE, AND FOR NO LOVE OR KINDNESS IN RETURN FROM ME.

im really snowed under with work at the mo, and im doin everythin but! never mind, how's ur course goin?

I'M LETTING YOU KNOW RIGHT NOW THAT IF YOU COME HERE (FEED MY EGO) I WON'T SPEND TIME WITH YOU.

(that was a bit too nice for me i feel!) YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR ME

i miss u and i'm homesick! I'M BORED

mite get to see u soon, lots of love... xxx

p.s there's a lot more i want to say about us, but u've it heard it
before,

I'M STILL ME, AND YOU'RE STILL YOU SO THE REASONS WE BROKE UP STILL APPLY.

if ur with someone or seein someone, i hope they make u happy

I KNOW I CAN'T.

YOUR REPLY WAS MILDLY WUSSY AND WERE IT ME, I WOULDN'T HAVE REPLIED, RATHER LET HER WRITE AT LEAST ONE MORE TIME BEFORE RESPONDING.

LET HER GO.

 

[numlock]

RKTek, nicely done

 

[schaff]

lol thats pretty much how analysed the e-mail.

Like I said in the first post I'm over this girl and I have too many female prospects to warrant giving her another go even if she wanted to (the next one could be around the corner and I'd be wasting my time with someone who couldn't be bothered the first time round). Just interested in what other people thought of the e-mail + my suggested reply.

The main aim I have for this girl is to draw a clear line but still remain friendly. I don't wanna blow her off completely cause she helped me through a particularly dark period in my life and for that I respect her a lot.

Thank Numlock for the editing suggestion and I've rewording it slightly.

 

[ismo]

I totally agree with RKTek

forget this girl schaff, even it is hard..

 

[drZaius09]

Once again, RKTek is right on the ball.

This girl has nothing to offer you. Trash the reply and erase her from your conscious mind forever. (i.e., DON'T send a response)

 

[Luscious]

I think it has been explained properly.

Buddy - don't be a tool. Don't get played and used. Give her the snub - and don't go back. Leave the past where it belongs - in the past.

And your reply was way the hell too long. Make it equal length or SHORTER than her email, always.

 

[BGMan]

Re: Re: Got an e-mail from the ex love of my life.

Originally posted by RKTek
if u can't get a good job in clacton u cud think about comin up here for a bit, JUST AS MATES THO...up 2 u.

There's her LJBF right there! How much more evidence do you need?

BGMan