Got a number! Need advice

[donjuanapprentice01]

Ok, I went out tonight with a friend. A new bartender was working the place we frequent alot, she seemed interested, always coming over to our pool table to talk, etc... So at the end of the night, I got her number.

Now, this is a HUGE step. I have never gotten a number that easily. I have a confidence issue I'm dealing with now, so this is a big boost.

Ok, so I'm just asking for advice. She said she works Saturday night, that I should go to her bar. My friend, who doesn't read this site and thinks it BS, for whatever reason, but has success with chicks, says I should meet up with her Saturday night. However, I think this may come across as needy, and would think it would be best to call her up on Monday instead.

I have always been AFC with chicks, but this I am determined to change, starting with this one. I'm definitely meeting up with her, but the question I have is, should I go on Saturday night, or just call her on Monday to set up a date?

Thanx

 

[sexysuave]

It's her JOB to be friendly to you. Think about it. I'm not saying this is the case, but she MAY just be trying to score extra custumers and get more TIPS. She is working on the Saturday afterall. I would definitely give her a call instead and try to set up that Monday meeting for a tea or coffee or somethign small like that. I wouldn't necessarily "avoid" going there on Saturday if that's where you plan to go I don't think you should care. Just say hi to her and go on with your business and try to score more numbers. But if I was you, I'd definitely call her on Sunday or Monday instead and try to meet up. This way you'll find out her true intentions.

NOTE: Even if you see her on Saturday, it may not be a good idea to talk to her much, depending on your skill level, since you say you're very AFC. You may kill any interest that she may have in you. The more I think about it, the more I feel the best idea is to call her Sunday or Monday. Good luck.. don't take more then a minute or so on the phone, ask her to hand out. Preferable in the early evening or day time since she doesnt' know you that well. If everything goes good and you want to hang out more, you can just extend it. Good luck.

 

[SamePendo]

Call her, set a date, say you can't go on whatever day she says you should go, make up some different **** for each day she says... but tell her that you are free on ____ day to go out to ____, but you don't want to go to the bar because you don't feel like it. that way you'll find out how really interested she was.

 

[Vampire]

All good advice.

Personally, if you show up on Saturday, I think that you'd be letting her set the pace. That's a hoop she wants you to jump through. Don't do it. Also, don't get drunk and call her, or come crawling back into that bar saturday night all smashed because you couldn't pick up another girl (both things I have done out of drunken desperation, and it never works---to the contrary, it blew up in my face).

As far as her giving you her number solely for financial reasons (more tips), that's not the behavior I've seen from bartenders. Strippers, maybe. Bartenders... not so much.

Also, the thing with seeing a woman while she's at work, is that you are at her mercy. You will look like an idiot if you just hang out at the bar, waiting for a few minutes of her time in between other customers. Hang out with her on YOUR terms. If it doesn't work out, #$*&# it, move on. That's the only way to develop the feel with women. You don't need them.

 

[Tomatoes]

I def dont think she is trying to score customers....she would not give you her number if she saw you as just an extra customer.....That im 99% on as i know quite a few female bartenders and they rarely give their number out but get asked alot.

Dont go on saterday. Being at her work is not going to help you with her. It will be doing as your told and it will be you waiting every 30 seconds in your convo while she serves. This is def you on the back foot.

Call her Sunday and arrange a meet. I wouldnt neccearrly agree with shooting down her first time for a date. At the same time thow. Make it a "date". Not her at work. As for going to that bar. Go if that makes you both feel comfortable but i would suggest YOU suggest where to go. She got time you got place.

This way you will not be seen as controling or as her b1tich.

Ofcorse reject her time if you seriously cant

Keep us informed and i hope to see a good FR at some point in the near future.....Good luck!

 

[westbeach77]

Just reiterating what they said. Whatever you do, don't go on Saturday. Sunday afternoon would be a good time to call and have a quick casual convo about how her weekend went. If you sense interest, ask her if she'd like to hang out with you in the middle of the week sometime. Don't go for drinks though, stay away from bars. I've worked in this industry for a long time and know that the girls get hit on constantly and approached for dates. Getting her # is a good sign though, she obviously has at least some interest.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Originally posted by donjuanapprentice01
Ok, I went out tonight with a friend. A new bartender was working the place we frequent alot, she seemed interested, always coming over to our pool table to talk, etc... So at the end of the night, I got her number.

Now, this is a HUGE step. I have never gotten a number that easily. I have a confidence issue I'm dealing with now, so this is a big boost.

Ok, so I'm just asking for advice. She said she works Saturday night, that I should go to her bar. My friend, who doesn't read this site and thinks it BS, for whatever reason, but has success with chicks, says I should meet up with her Saturday night. However, I think this may come across as needy, and would think it would be best to call her up on Monday instead.

I have always been AFC with chicks, but this I am determined to change, starting with this one. I'm definitely meeting up with her, but the question I have is, should I go on Saturday night, or just call her on Monday to set up a date?

Thanx

If your gonna go anyways then follow your freinds advise.Women want to act like they have a social life(when most really don't) and they'll act pissed if you make them wait.Whenever I wait too long to call a chic she usually acts like she's busy or some**** at first.


You don't want that.It's annoying and discouraging.

Call and show up whenever they say is appropriate.Don't wait.

 

[donjuanapprentice01]

Thanks for the fantastic replies!

As for going on Saturday, if I do go, it's going to be with friends, not just myself. That, I wouldn't do that's for sure. With friends, it won't be too bad. The friend I was with is insisting that I go, but even with friends around, it still could come across as needy. If I do go though, I will keep my distance.

LOL, I learned the HARD way about going out with someone who works in a bar a long time ago. I was really AFC, I would go to the bar when she was working, I would go alone, and I now know how chump that was. So, I ain't making that mistake again.

Another thing I think I did right, was that she tried to set something up while I was there last night (make a date on the spot) but instead I told her I would call.

So yeah, to go or not to go on Saturday night, that is the question. Cuz, I do have other things I could do with other friends.