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Good response to "you're moving too fast"

JonnyD123

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Not in the relationship aspect, but in the "escalation to sex" aspect. We were about 3 drinks in when she pulled it on me while topless and panties on after a hot make out sesh. I tried the take away method, which almost never fails, but after re initiating twice more, I realized it wasn't happening. I figured her anti-sl*t defense was kicking in. Tried hitting her up a couple days later, can't even get her to hang out now. This is coming from a girl who's most pictures on Instagram are half naked selfies. Could just be a narcissistic tease. Thoughts?
 

dustmuffin

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Not in the relationship aspect, but in the "escalation to sex" aspect. We were about 3 drinks in when she pulled it on me while topless and panties on after a hot make out sesh. I tried the take away method, which almost never fails, but after re initiating twice more, I realized it wasn't happening. I figured her anti-sl*t defense was kicking in. Tried hitting her up a couple days later, can't even get her to hang out now. This is coming from a girl who's most pictures on Instagram are half naked selfies. Could just be a narcissistic tease. Thoughts?
I have no clue. I would have done the same thing as you. But.....I think the next time this happens to me I'm going to say your right we are moving to fast. Collect her clothes throw them at her and kick her a ss out the door. Then see what happens.....It's just an experiment I would like to try......Some advise I would give you for your situation is that I would wait a week and then try to set up another date.
 

wifehunter

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You're trying to hard. Frame, she's testing your frame. How much self control do you have? She wants to know, before giving it up. Best response is to go fishing or something. Like shooting?
 

Atom Smasher

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I think that failure in escalation is often the result of not softening up the target enough beforehand. The jump is too abrupt for her.

I will usually soften the target by doing things like walking through every doorway and stairway right next to her, crowding her and forcing her to squeeze through together with me. Of course I blame her and ask, teasingly, "Why don't you let me pass through? A classy lady would let me pass through." The more astute of you will realize that I'm planting a phrase that I want her to reference later: "Let me pass through." The combination of the boldness, the audacity and the physical closeness will tend to thrill her, and will leave her much more open to escalation later. I will also gently push them into trees, posts, etc. (as if there was no room for us to go past the obstacle together), telling her she should be more careful, but not to worry as I'll protect her. She begins to associate your bodies touching with fun and pleasure.

These are also good opportunities to jokingly imply she is a bit clumsy and needs my help ("I have so much work to do with you and so little time").

I find that subtly setting the stage as early as possible with "innocent" and fun touching makes them very open to physical escalation later.

I always get them into a state where they're dying to escalate with me because I do the preparation beforehand. Of course the logistics sometimes prevent this, but it's always a good thing to keep in mind for when time and space are in your favor.
 

The Duke

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You can't use rational thinking to figure out an irrational person who relies on "feelings" to make decisions about what she does and doesn't do! It really doesn't matter as to why she didn't proceed.

Don't make a big deal about it, withdraw attention & give her a few days. She'll think she is losing you because she didn't follow thru! And next time if you create enough foreplay, she'll likely follow thru.
 

JonnyD123

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Agree & Amplify. "You're right, we are. Let's slow it down a little. I like a little mystery."

Or if you're feeling bold, "You're right. I'd better get going. I'll call you soon." Then leave.
This is 100% exactly what I did. Found out the underlying factor, she's "seeing" someone. Apparently he's "saving himself" for marriage according to her lol. I told her "that's too bad," and she responded with "I know." This broad... At least I feel better knowing it wasn't entirely me because my game was pretty tight.
 
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