Good looking + confident = arrogance?

[Zombie]

I've been told by family members, friends, girls, etc. that I'm very good looking. I'm not bragging, honestly. Why I made this post is because I'm pissed off. I'm a very confident person. I actually am not ****y, at ALL. I have great conversational skills, am outgoing, and love to meet new people... but I can tell people perceive that I am ****y by the things they say.

The other day I was in a bar talking to a woman I wasn't even interested in, just casual talk. Maybe for about 5 minutes. Something came up where I said "What, you don't believe me?" And she said "Well, I don't know, a good looking guy like yourself probably bull****s like that and gets away with it."

Maybe a week before that I walked right up to a group of girls in a bar and we talked for a long time. I was the life of the conversation, making jokes, etc. but I got bad vibes from these chicks. Well, it turns out my buddy later asked them what was going on with them and me, and they said I was really hot, but am too ****y and probably a player.

Even casual girls who are just friends have told my male friends that I'm too full of myself. They asked why and they said "Just the way he carries himself. His demeanor."

Fellow DJs, I need your opinions on this. How can I convey to woman that I'm not an arrogant a$$hole who thinks he can get any chick he wants? I know you guys say this mentality helps you with woman, but for me it really seems to be hurting, even when I'm not trying to.

Another thing. About a year ago I told this one girl HB 9 how I felt, that I liked her, wanted to date her only, etc. and she melted. For some reason telling a girl how I feel has actually not hurt me, and has made the relationship (and the sex) more amazing. Even though you guys say regardless woman hate it.

Thanks guys.

 

[Horizon]

A possible drawback of being the prize?..

Well, my thinking on this is that being the prize has a certain drawback - namely, a guy with such demeanor can repel low self-esteem chicks (similar to how AFCs are afraid of hot and sexy women). I've also heard that guys from mASF have a special term for this - "overqualify" or something to the tune.

 

[SynTheUnscathed]

Originally posted by Zombie
I've been told by family members, friends, girls, etc. that I'm very good looking. I'm not bragging, honestly. Why I made this post is because I'm pissed off. I'm a very confident person. I actually am not ****y, at ALL. I have great conversational skills, am outgoing, and love to meet new people... but I can tell people perceive that I am ****y by the things they say.

The other day I was in a bar talking to a woman I wasn't even interested in, just casual talk. Maybe for about 5 minutes. Something came up where I said "What, you don't believe me?" And she said "Well, I don't know, a good looking guy like yourself probably bull****s like that and gets away with it."

Maybe a week before that I walked right up to a group of girls in a bar and we talked for a long time. I was the life of the conversation, making jokes, etc. but I got bad vibes from these chicks. Well, it turns out my buddy later asked them what was going on with them and me, and they said I was really hot, but am too ****y and probably a player.

Even casual girls who are just friends have told my male friends that I'm too full of myself. They asked why and they said "Just the way he carries himself. His demeanor."

Fellow DJs, I need your opinions on this. How can I convey to woman that I'm not an arrogant a$$hole who thinks he can get any chick he wants? I know you guys say this mentality helps you with woman, but for me it really seems to be hurting, even when I'm not trying to.

Another thing. About a year ago I told this one girl HB 9 how I felt, that I liked her, wanted to date her only, etc. and she melted. For some reason telling a girl how I feel has actually not hurt me, and has made the relationship (and the sex) more amazing. Even though you guys say regardless woman hate it.

Thanks guys.

Dude, amen.

I would love an answer to that. Honestly, it feels like I wrote this.

I act the same way, just try to be nice. I am pretty confident but I never feel like I am being ****y. And I get the responses and hear the same things as you.

Answers please.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by Zombie

Another thing. About a year ago I told this one girl HB 9 how I felt, that I liked her, wanted to date her only, etc. and she melted. For some reason telling a girl how I feel has actually not hurt me, and has made the relationship (and the sex) more amazing. Even though you guys say regardless woman hate it.

Thanks guys.

Easy one. If you are confident and in demand already, women love it because you are high status. If you are low status, unconfident, emo, etc, it just comes off as gay.

 

[JayCamx23]

well this is similar to me. ive never been blatantly called ****y or confident or full of myself until a week ago, when my friend said this to me, "people who see you for the first time and dont know you think yur ****y just by the way you walk." now before this ive been told that i walk different than other people. i want to be percieved as confident, not ****y. well, its kind of hard to change the way you walk dont you think? if i change the way i walk, its gonna look forced and obvious. maybe i could lean a little more forward rather than leaning so far back. I think that im just trying to stand and walk upright so much that im actually leaning back and therefore, being percieved as ****y. these people think im ****y just by the way i walk, so this has absolutely nothin to do with my personality. im just gonna have to relax more when walking. if they still think im ****y, o well, fight me.

 

[OfficeSpace]

Wow man.. I have the EXACT SAME problem at school! Everyone tells me I'm so ****y and boastful even though I'm not! Maybe it comes with looks and confidence or something but I'm really getting sick of all this!

I ask them to give me one example of me being ****y or boastful and they can't give me one! And girls think I'm a player for some reason even though I'm not! I myself, like the rest of you would like to get the answer to all of this!

 

[n00bPimp]

Part of being confident is having a little arrogance. It isnt really a matter of looks. They might think you're stuck up because you don't pay much attention to them or use the wrong body language.

 

[oobm]

Girls get impressions of being a player if you are confident and good looking. They will say either you are gay or a player. They just happen to think that way because there are a lot of AFC's out there. So just keep up what you are doing. If you are that good looking, then you won't have to neg hit unless the chick thinks she is better than you. If you are as good looking as you say, then you basically have it made when it comes to girls. You could probably say something really stupid and they will still like you. I think the only girls you will have to neg-hit are models who think they are hot ****.

 

[spitkicker]

Hey man. I've had similar **** happen in the past. You are probably overqualifying yourself, and no1 wants to chase something that they will never get. Focus on showing genuine interest in them and also DISQUALIFYING yourself. When a girl baits you to qualify yourself to her, do the opposite. This is a big one. For example, when girls tell me im jacked ill respond with something like "they're not real, i was actually in the bathroom just now doing pushups to look big, was just trying to impress you. you got me!" but with a smile. this works
I learned this from juggler, when i did phone coaching with him. Its also in his book, u can check it out here - Juggler's Website

 

[spitkicker]

Oh, also, i left out something in my previous post.

So if you guys have your bodylanguage down and your taking up space and giving off, IM A PLAYER vibes, then you might want to add some contrast to your image.

For example, once again, im a big dude and look pretty macho etc, couple this with spread out bl, and i come off a little tooo bold.

So to remedy this, my buddies at Charisma Sciences (there's a link in my post above), suggested i start wearing a little bit of jewlery and some more feminine colors like pink.

I noticeid a positive response to this immeadiatly. Badboy also talks about the power of contrast on his cd's....