good friend and his 'friend', my ex

[rbd]

Hey guys,

I went to a town about 2 hours away to stay at my buddy's and friend's houses, shoot guns, motorcycles, fun dude stuff. this buddy of mine, call him Steve, was the guy who dated my ex for a week before I did, and with whom there was a lot of tensions over this girl when we all met eachother. We've since all but forgot about it, became good friends and he was the guy that taught me all about bros over hoes

my old roomie is with me and he is still good friends with my ex, so we stop by her farmhouse so we can ride the 4 wheeler. I was over her by then wanted to swim, ride the 4 wheeler and leave there. Well over there I found Steve's clothes lying on the floor..okay he was probably just changing there the day before to go swimming...then I'm changing and I see a spent condom under the bed...alright that's probable cause, he journal is right there next to it, so I just look at enough info (I HATE to do AFCish crap like that) to learn that he was indeed ****ing her, during the time that he was basically LIVING (sleeping, eating, computer games) at my apartment, to escape his roommate. They didn't date because they didn't want me finding out, and they kept it all from me, him acting like such a good friend. I don't know how I should feel about him.

Easy solution with her: She thinks I'm going to cuss her out, but I was just planning on telling her that I was really happy that she found an awesome match for her, then hang up. I'll have nothing to do with her again. And I'm fine with that. Feel like a weight has been lifted off my sholders, and I believe this is the way of the DJ that I've been striving to get with her.

It's just, I don't know if I want to totally cut this guy off, get rid of him as a friend over this. I want to return his clothes that he gave me and as I'm feeling right now, having connections with them will just bring me down. I think I need to be let free from that.

But I am really happy with how I handed it. She and her friend were at the farmhouse at the time. I was totally calm and plesant to them. I then said goodbye, and we left to go back home. I really don't want to deal with that.

LOL, I mentioned to her in private she might want to remember to clean the condom from under the bed before she leaves. She gave me a nervious smile and laugh and I walked to go back talking to her friend.

So what do you guys think? I don't want to "lay the law down" with either of them, it won't do anything. I just don't want to deal with them anymore. Should I forgive him or loose him?

Thanks!

 

[rbd]

No doubt something like this happens in most people's lives at some point or another. I've thought about it a bit, and I really have no reason to be angry. I told them before they'd make a good couple, so I'll wish them the best if I see them again and keep things terse. They should definately go out instead of this whole having sex and keeping it behind my back deal, since it seems she really wants to date him.

She's definately out of the picture, but I'm not sure about him. I just won't go out of my way to do things with him.

Finally dealing with this stuff the way I should have before. It's may seem hard to "just move on", but you have to look at the alternative and trust your gut.

 

[TheCollector]

Dude forget about them both. The guy lied to you and pretended to be buddy buddy while he was banging her. Forget hanging out with anyone that lies to you like that. He said Bros before Hos but what he was doing was Hos before Bros. Expand your social circle and become friends and date girls with better morals than those two.

 

[rbd]

any more suggestions? One vote for each option of this poll, lol.

I'm iffy about him now...I guess it matters how he reacts to this situation, but I'll say that as far as I'm concerned, he's not my "bro" anymore, maybe somewhat of a friend at best.

 

[Kwah]

Hes full of **** once, he is full of **** always. Find new friends. Or bang his sister

 

[Charm]

I chose to forgive him, but I don't think "forgiveness" and being his friend again should be the same thing.

Forgiving him will help you move past this and on with your own life, but that doesn't mean you need to try and be his friend or even go out of your way to be his friend. My suggestion, forgive and let go, move on with your life and enjoy your time with your other friends who are more honest and sincere with you.

Best of Luck.

 

[thissucks003]

Originally posted by Charm
I chose to forgive him, but I don't think "forgiveness" and being his friend again should be the same thing.

Forgiving him will help you move past this and on with your own life, but that doesn't mean you need to try and be his friend or even go out of your way to be his friend. My suggestion, forgive and let go, move on with your life and enjoy your time with your other friends who are more honest and sincere with you.

Best of Luck.

Good points Charm!

I will only add that if you still try to remain friends with this guy, you will still hold a grudge in someway. It is better to move on and have a great life. I had what I thought was a good friend stab me in the back more than once. I forgave him the first time but it was never the same. And later on I found out he stabbed me in the back again. Move on my friend!

TS

 

[rbd]

Originally posted by thissucks003
Good points Charm!

I will only add that if you still try to remain friends with this guy, you will still hold a grudge in someway. It is better to move on and have a great life. I had what I thought was a good friend stab me in the back more than once. I forgave him the first time but it was never the same. And later on I found out he stabbed me in the back again. Move on my friend!

TS

I hear both of you. You're right that I can't fully forgive him, there will still be some wierdness.

I'm just going to move on and be rather indifferent to him. It sucks that this whole situation happened like this, but as my friend says:

SADAMO: Suck A Dyck And Move On