Going to School Sweetheart Dance...Single

[someone800]

Went to Sweetheart Dance...Single (Field Report)

If you take a look at my most recent post, there is a new field report based on my experiences tonight.

Hey,

Tomorrow is my schools Sweetheart dance. I have been deciding if to go or not and I think I am going to go. I was asked to go by this one girl, but she was wanting to go as friends and she's been sick so I don't want to go with her.
Any tips for going solo to a dance like this?
Also, this is kinda unrelated but after school today one of my friends caught me as I walked by him as he was taking to another friend and some aquaintences. He is or used to be my best friend a month ago but because of some of the people he hangs with, I wasn't hanging with him over the last month except for once. Anyways, he asked me why I haven't been hanging with him. I blew the question off, but honestly I have been waiting for him to call me instead of the opposite and that hasn't really happened. On top of that, he's been hanging out with some other friends/aquaintences instead of me. For example he's bringing a friend along to the movies with his date tonight. The thing is though he is one of the only friends I have that's into the going places for stuff like that thing. I feel like I am friends but being left out a lot and it is really angering me. I don't really have any friend now who likes to go out and chill socially. Here it is, Friday night and I don't know what to do because my friend is once again leaving me behind.
What should I do about these things?

Thanks.

 

[redspicyflag]

Holy sh!t

what school you go to?

 

[someone800]

I'm not just going to say. Which do you go to? Send me a PM if you don't want to put it in plain view.

 

[redspicyflag]

I don't care really

Lakewood

 

[someone800]

Eh, we don't go to the same school. We probably just have the dance on the same night.

So, back to the topic, can anyone please answer my questions?

 

[SinJester]

Dunno about the dance. But don't lose your friend. Hang out with him again. Talk to him if you feel like your being left out. Ask to come along. Just don't lose him, that's what a chick would do.

 

[someone800]

Thanks for the replies. Anyways, I went to the dance and here is my field report.

First, me and the friend I was talking about went out to a sit-down dinner place (dressed up) before we went to meet his girlfriend who was going to follow us to the dance. Anyways, something interesting that happened when I was walking out of this restraunt, was that since there was a big bar there, a couple of really hot girls walked out behind me. The thing is, I estimated their age to be between 21-25. Anyways, I was walking alone to my vehicle and I could hear them behind me verbally pushing each other to talk to me. If only they were a few years younger.
Anyways, we got my friends date and went to the dance....what a waste of money. It was totally awkward for me. I felt like I was walking in circles around the dance floor "looking" for a pretty decent girl to dance with. The thing is, most, if not all, of the decent-looking girls there that were single were Freshmen. So, even though I was pushed to go there by my friends, I felt like I was embarrassing myself. Now, the friend I went with did help me out and I got to grind with this pretty nice-looking girl and had a good time doing it but, like a lot of the other single girls, she was a Freshman. All-in-all, it was a pretty strange and awkward experience, I was having doubts about going before and I think I can confirm those doubts.
I'm pissed because these dances are where it is supposed to be easy to pick up girls from my school, but it just doesn't work out. Is there any way, any at all way to pick girls up in the halls or in class or somehow at school? I mean, I guess I got the looks (read: the 21-25 year-old hotties), even with my boyish face, but I know girls are a lot about personality and how a guy moves on them.
Any tips based on my experience tonight?

Thanks.

 

[redspicyflag]

Anyways, we got my friends date and went to the dance....what a waste of money. It was totally awkward for me. I felt like I was walking in circles around the dance floor "looking" for a pretty decent girl to dance with. The thing is, most, if not all, of the decent-looking girls there that were single were Freshmen. So, even though I was pushed to go there by my friends, I felt like I was embarrassing myself. Now, the friend I went with did help me out and I got to grind with this pretty nice-looking girl and had a good time doing it but, like a lot of the other single girls, she was a Freshman. All-in-all, it was a pretty strange and awkward experience, I was having doubts about going before and I think I can confirm those doubts.
I'm pissed because these dances are where it is supposed to be easy to pick up girls from my school, but it just doesn't work out. Is there any way, any at all way to pick girls up in the halls or in class or somehow at school? I mean, I guess I got the looks (read: the 21-25 year-old hotties), even with my boyish face, but I know girls are a lot about personality and how a guy moves on them.
Any tips based on my experience tonight?

Thanks.

Well

you came to the dance

with an awkward framework

It was a self confirming thing

since you came there expecting it

and fulfilled it

The best tip I've got for ya

is to be in a fun mindset

Since that's what girls are mainly looking for

Just have fun

 

[Enryu]

you were going to a dance without confidence,fun or social proof
that evening you couldnt even hit on a girl if she had a sign:" i want someone800"
Dont forget you do need to have fun and because most ppl dont have fun alone they go with friends

which leads me to another topic: your friend

You want him to hang out only with you?Why are you not hanging out with him? He really wants to make new friends with those friends but he also wants to stay friends with you! You cant expect everything to be like you want it.
He made the first step he asked you why you are not hanging out with him anymore and he invited you in some way to hang out with him more.

So first thing you are going to do on Monday(uhm or the next school day) go and hang out with your friend and his new friends and make friends with them because if you do not you are going to lose him too.
If you dont like the new friends he made then tell him dont wait for him to call you!

If hes going to diss you search for new friends
Just like cold approaching women cold approach guys without the whole sexual things! Or better yet you are in the USA go and find friends in one of your extra curricular activities...
You have none? Then move your lazy ass of the computer and join some! Meet new ppl, say hi to everyone, get known to everyone, etc.
If you are legit to drink alcohol ( Germany rules ) then go to a pub drink some alc and talk to some ppl its the easiest way to make new friends!

Sometimes i really think there should be more friend guides here because ppl believe that they will get everything by waiting

 

[GaryUranga]

I used to get angry at my friends for not includign me, I recentyl have been "gaming" my social groups, thing is if you dont have any other friends to hangout with then youre lekely to be at the bottom of the list when it comes to the only ones you do hangout with, offer them value, go over with a full glass not an empty glass expecting to be filled cause when someone who just liek clings to a group its annoying, and yeah go out socializign the crap out everyone

 

[someone800]

Thanks for the replies. But anyways, as far as being socially confident, I guess some of that is true, but the thing is though, when I would see some of my friends/acquaintances, I would act like I was having a good time and be social. Also, when my friend had me grind with that cute freshman, I was mentioning to her aren't you a....and then I was like, "Ah, whatever, lets just dance" and we danced. Also, during the next song she was grinding with one of her girl friends and my friend pointed that out, and I hopped right in. :rockon:
There just didn't seem many opportunities to be at that dance besides freshmen and I guess that had an effect on my not doing that great there.

Also, with my friend, thanks for the tips. One of you mentioned to hang out with him and his new friends. Well, why most of them are nice, there is this one, kinda "leader" guy who is a total *******. Pretty much, I use to want to be "accepted" by him, but after reading stuff from this amazing site, I am just thinking "fvck him." The thing is, he is like always around places. He is in one of my classes and around a lot of my friends. I have been ignoring him a lot, but every now and then, he'll show his "dominance" over me by doing something a bully in middle school would do. This is like the only main person in my way.

Tips?

Thanks.

 

[GaryUranga]

what exactly is this guy doing

 

[Enryu]

talk to your friends bout it
or find new friends
work out get some abs and kick him in the ass
learn to kick some ass
learn boxing
learn martial arts
have a drink with him ( alcoholic of course )
check if he has a cute sister/mom/cousin

do one of the above or something else
but never ever beg to be his friend
you are a dj not some needy guy

 

[someone800]

what exactly is this guy doing

Basically beating down on my self-esteem with the whole can't get girls thing. I mean this guy is a genuine *******. I don't know what to do about him cause he is friends with some of my other friends. On top of that, I can't challenge him or fight him or anything because I don't fight. I don't see the point plus I don't want to get caught since at my school their are extremely strict about that stuff. Also, I am physically weak compared to him.

 

[GaryUranga]

ok I see a problem here, somehow the way this guy acts has got the crazy idea in you mind that hes better than you, think about this, if this guy was some 10yr old loser nerd and super skinny acting the same way toawrds you how would you act..

also "I dont fight" , I havent been in a fight for ages but I wouldnt doubt for a second if a guy was tryign to bully me to destroy his face, and Im not saying you should do this but you gotta step up for youself man, seriously dont tolerate that crap, if it gets physical defend youself if its just words, ignore him, but in a way that you imply superiority just act liek he was some annoying lil kid, or dont be afraid to respond just keep your cool.

if that doesnt work call me up and I'll beat the living crap outa him