Going out skating after I've been LJBF'ed

[dohta]

Ok...so this girl LJBF'ed me about a year and a half ago and since then I've been working away from my AFC status. I've read in this forum that skating is a pretty good date. Coincidentally this girl puts on her msn name that she just went skating. I ask her to go to another skating rink because they have an event there next friday and she said "yes, but there'll be nothing else friends don't do."

Before the flaming starts, keep in a mind a few things:
1) I KNOW it's not a "date". Honestly I am still a little bit interested in her since she's hot (HB9) but unlike before, I am also seeing other women at the same time instead of putting her on a pedestal. I am not working hard at all to make her fall for me, but if she DOES, that would be good too.
2) I am 20, if that matters.
3) I haven't been skating since 10-12 years ago.

So I am going out with her for three main reasons:
- to approach girls (maybe even score this girl with jealously as a bonus)
- to learn skating so I could take my future dates to rinks
- learn about the area near the rink since it offers events year-round

How would you approach girls in my situation? I usually pick up girls at school or at the mall, so this type of environment is new to me. Is it a good idea to ask female strangers to teach me skating?

Also, how should I treat this girl? Should I cut off all forms of kino to make her want me more? I am pretty sure that if I did not touch her physically in any way that day, she will eventually initiate contact and I was thinking of saying something like "nono... you said no touching, remember?" playfully. That has happened before and she ended up almost jumping on me to cuddle up when I did that. Or should I still try to initiate kino and escalate?

Thanks.

 

[Mental]

Ok...so this girl LJBF'ed me about a year and a half ago and since then I've been working away from my AFC status. I've read in this forum that skating is a pretty good date. Coincidentally this girl puts on her msn name that she just went skating. I ask her to go to another skating rink because they have an event there next friday and she said "yes, but there'll be nothing else friends don't do."

Before the flaming starts, keep in a mind a few things:
1) I KNOW it's not a "date". Honestly I am still a little bit interested in her since she's hot (HB9) but unlike before, I am also seeing other women at the same time instead of putting her on a pedestal. I am not working hard at all to make her fall for me, but if she DOES, that would be good too.
2) I am 20, if that matters.
3) I haven't been skating since 10-12 years ago.

So I am going out with her for three main reasons:
- to approach girls (maybe even score this girl with jealously as a bonus)
- to learn skating so I could take my future dates to rinks
- learn about the area near the rink since it offers events year-round

How would you approach girls in my situation? I usually pick up girls at school or at the mall, so this type of environment is new to me. Is it a good idea to ask female strangers to teach me skating?

Also, how should I treat this girl? Should I cut off all forms of kino to make her want me more? I am pretty sure that if I did not touch her physically in any way that day, she will eventually initiate contact and I was thinking of saying something like "nono... you said no touching, remember?" playfully. That has happened before and she ended up almost jumping on me to cuddle up when I did that. Or should I still try to initiate kino and escalate?

Thanks.

She's a tease. Don't let her be one. She's constantly reminding you of her "friend" thing, and then she's freakin trying to cuddle with you? Man, she's testing you, or she's an attention grabber.

"Ah ah ah, you HAD your chance, remember?!" (Gawd, I would LOVE to say this once in my life.)

I had a "friend" who always did the same thing. Only I never asked her out, nor had any desire to. But she kept reminding me (whyyyyyyyy?!) as friends, and then she'd cuddle, rub her hands through my hair, tickle the back of my neck, blah blah blah.

Eventually, I got more respect, and I left her alone. She had too many issues. Once a year, she pretends to be my best friend, (when she wants something, me thinks) and I just avoid her.

My advice is you leave this girl behind. She's just wanting attention, and she'll play with your head (either one) until she gets it, and then she'll drop you.

If you want to hang out for social proof (there's the problem, isn't it?!), you don't kiss her butt. You treat her like the friend (ah, but I did give you the advice to ditch her, didn't I?!), and you keep flirting with others, like you said. Don't allow the cuddles. Don't allow anything more than friendship. She LJBF'ed you, and you'll do the same. Don't try to make her jealous. Don't impress her. Just be the "Don Juan" natural, and have fun, almost as if you're on your own. Don't get anything for her. She can get it herself.

And then there's "social proof." See, the problem with THAT is, I only have a few attractive female friends (one, really) and realize that I need to get more. Unfortunately, the gorgeous ones all assume I'm interested (not ALWAYS the case) and they TRY to play games. And after they see I'm not letting them play games, and I won't repeatedly chase, they get bored and try to ditch ME. But then, I'm not seen often with attractive women, so there's no perceived worth.

And if you can figure out the solution to THAT problem, you let me know.

 

[WC2]

You just gave us a oxymoron. You said you're moving away from your AFC times, but you're about to attempt one of the worst AFC moves out there. Buddy, if you're still wanting to ask her on a date then you're not moving too fast.

Don't get me wrong I'm here to help, but sometimes (more than not) I feel the guys on here need a reality check. You need to boost yourself into game mode, game some other girls and this girl will no longer be wasting your time posting on an internet message board.

Turn the corner, and don't look back.

 

[Cremasta]

Also, how should I treat this girl? Should I cut off all forms of kino to make her want me more? I am pretty sure that if I did not touch her physically in any way that day, she will eventually initiate contact and I was thinking of saying something like "nono... you said no touching, remember?" playfully. That has happened before and she ended up almost jumping on me to cuddle up when I did that. Or should I still try to initiate kino and escalate?.

If you absolutely must go out with this girl, then treat her EXACTLY like you would one of your male friends (except maybe don't swear as much, that shows a bit of disrespect to her).
Do not be attracted to her.
Make her pay for her own drinks, entry, etc.
If she tries to cuddle you or anything, look at her and just say "what are you doing? get OFF me!"
If you see a hot girl at skating, point her out and talk about her in the same way you would with one of your mates.

If she's a HB9 like you say, use her to make you look good.

Your three reasons for going out with her are all good, except for the jealousy bit... don't even think about it.

 

[Holland]

I think you should go with her. If she's hot, just game her. Who cares that she said you're just friends (you live in your reality, and if she doesn't want to be a part of it she can leave), just keep the teasing up even higher and you're in for a good time. PAYBACK TIME!
Make sure you approach others too and then wait for her to come find you.
I'm not an experienced ice skater so I can't give you that much info on that. Just have fun and you'll be fine.

(BTW, always let her pay for her own stuff, untill you're in a relationship and you want to pay so badly. (but even then, dont overdo it))

 

[dohta]

Ok..just to clarify, I DO NOT buy her stuff anymore. I truly appreciate the advice but you guys think I suck up to this girl, which I don't (I used to, I admit). In fact she once offered to treat me to the movies while I was just leaving my AFC stages but I said no (bad move, yea I know).

Is it a good method of approach to ask a female stranger to teach you skating? It seems to be a good way to initiate kino, but it might put the target on a pedestal?

Thanks.

 

[HoneyHitter]

And then there's "social proof." See, the problem with THAT is, I only have a few attractive female friends (one, really) and realize that I need to get more. Unfortunately, the gorgeous ones all assume I'm interested (not ALWAYS the case) and they TRY to play games. And after they see I'm not letting them play games, and I won't repeatedly chase, they get bored and try to ditch ME. But then, I'm not seen often with attractive women, so there's no perceived worth.

And if you can figure out the solution to THAT problem, you let me know.

Yeah! I have the same problem with MY LJBFs. They either try to c*ckblock me, or they just stop hangin out with me.

How can I LJBF UGs who have a crush on me without keeping them hangin' on a string? I don't want them, but I do want access to their possible HB network.

I can only pivot engaged women and women I work with. And with my increasing DJ attitude, I'm noticing that even these women are starting to feel attraction and becoming harder to LJBF.

 

[dohta]

And then there's "social proof." See, the problem with THAT is, I only have a few attractive female friends (one, really) and realize that I need to get more. Unfortunately, the gorgeous ones all assume I'm interested (not ALWAYS the case) and they TRY to play games. And after they see I'm not letting them play games, and I won't repeatedly chase, they get bored and try to ditch ME. But then, I'm not seen often with attractive women, so there's no perceived worth.

And if you can figure out the solution to THAT problem, you let me know.

Well if you want to keep attractive women as friends for social proof, you could put yourself in their friendszone by acting AFC, like asking to do stuff for her, paying for some of her cheap drinks, etc. But I'm not sure if your social proof girl would go around ranting about your AFC'ness if you actually did that, so it depends on the girl.

 

[WhAcKeD!]

Well I think you already know this, but there is basically no chance of you hooking up with her.

With that said, I wouldn't have asked her out in the first place, but since you did, I'll tell you what I would do. Treat her like shes your best friend, act like you've been around each other for a long time. At no point should you make it seem like you are interested in her on a relationship level. Just have fun with her, treat her like a friend, not like a girlfriend. After the "date" just don't talk to her.

Doing this may work out in your favor, just don't show sexual interest of any kind. This will let her know you have gotten over her and just want to be friends with her, which is a good idea in the first place.

 

[rrrrr]

yeah it sounds like he's saying "there's this girl i have no chance with, and i don't want to game her, but how should i game her." i wouldn't even go there, but like mental said, if you don't you even lose the friend unless you really do have a lot in common.