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going out in groups?

PlatoPacks23

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so ive been doing more night-game lately but going in groups of people I know, but in 3 different types of groups (all 3 mixed groups men andn woman), all 3 groups just tend to stick to themselves! Like even in large venues w lots of people, group I was with just went to a corner by themselves, another group on a diff night did a similar thing.. in these cases I guess it makes sense bc a lot of them were already in relationships.. but for me it feels unproductive to just be drinking and socializing within the group.. when I'm the one who is single and looking to meet people.


are there suggestions for this? I feel like depending on the group, some find it taboo or whatever to go up to random people and talk/hit on them, while others are ok with it, but the common theme is that they aren't really there to meet OTHER people.
 

SW15

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Women tend to go to nightlife venues in groups. It's challenging for a man who goes out solo to be able to permeate these groups initially.

There is also somewhat less of an approaching culture at many bars/nightlife venues these days. Many groups who arrive together stay socializing within the group, especially when a mixed male/female group arrives.

It's likely that you need to find another male who is motivated to meet women at bars and go out to bars with him.

For years, I have lacked males in my life who are willing to go out to bars with me. First, they got into LTRs and got married. Then, within their marriages, they started having babies. Right now, the majority of my social connections locally are males with children under age 5. There's even a thread on my local social connections.


Males in their 30s start to lack companions in their lives who can go out to bars with them. The solution that most 30+ men use for this problem is swiping on one of the Big 3 swipe apps or sending out DMs across their social media platforms. Occasionally, there will be a man who uses non-bar approaching as a solution. Non-bar approaching is an option for solo men because it's more normal to be alone and without a group in the majority of non-bar venues. Often times, the women are also separated from a group. A good example of this is grocery store approaching.
 

BPH

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The friends I frequently go out with are in relationships. I just hang out and talk with them when I don't see anybody I want - and when I do I leave them to go talk to the girl.

If I get blown out, for one reason or another, I just come back to the group and hang out until I see somebody else. There's not much to it.
 

PlatoPacks23

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The friends I frequently go out with are in relationships. I just hang out and talk with them when I don't see anybody I want - and when I do I leave them to go talk to the girl.

If I get blown out, for one reason or another, I just come back to the group and hang out until I see somebody else. There's not much to it.
I see, I went out w some people and seemed to be"judged" for talking to random girls. Some people dont judge I guess it just depends
 

BPH

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I see, I went out w some people and seemed to be"judged" for talking to random girls. Some people dont judge I guess it just depends
Judged by your friends or judged by randoms?

Either way, why do you care? Life is short; do what you want to do.

If your friends are judging you, find new friends. If randoms are judging you, who cares? They're probably not getting laid either.
 

SW15

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If randoms are judging you, who cares? They're probably not getting laid either.
The typical male going out to a bar isn't getting laid off of his bar approaches. You are correct here.

The typical female 21-49 going out to bars can get laid if she wants to get laid. However, often times she's not getting laid due to choosiness or she's getting laid at times but failing to get commitment.
 

PlatoPacks23

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Judged by your friends or judged by randoms?

Either way, why do you care? Life is short; do what you want to do.

If your friends are judging you, find new friends. If randoms are judging you, who cares? They're probably not getting laid either.
judged by people im going out with
 

plumber

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The typical male going out to a bar isn't getting laid off of his bar approaches. You are correct here.

The typical female 21-49 going out to bars can get laid if she wants to get laid. However, often times she's not getting laid due to choosiness or she's getting laid at times but failing to get commitment.
math problem. female gets laid from bar, male does not. how does that work?
 

SW15

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math problem. female gets laid from bar, male does not. how does that work?
It's not a math problem. First off, I said a woman can get laid if she wants to get laid. Many times, a woman opts not to get laid because she doesn't like her options.

Additionally, it's like anything else. The top 10-20% of guys are getting laid consistently. The mid and bottom tier of men struggle to get laid/find relationships.
 

plumber

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It's not a math problem. First off, I said a woman can get laid if she wants to get laid. Many times, a woman opts not to get laid because she doesn't like her options.

Additionally, it's like anything else. The top 10-20% of guys are getting laid consistently. The mid and bottom tier of men struggle to get laid/find relationships.
ok (btw I get it). Are you saying that a top guy goes to the bar every day and gets a different woman while a normal goes every day and gets none. the women are waiting in line for the top guy.
 

SW15

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ok (btw I get it). Are you saying that a top guy goes to the bar every day and gets a different woman while a normal goes every day and gets none. the women are waiting in line for the top guy.
When top tier men go to bars, the probability that they can successfully seduce is much higher.

They are more likely to get IOIs. Even if they don't get IOIs (Millennial & Gen Z women are worse at signaling), their approaches are overall well received.

A top tier man might not get laid every time he goes to a bar, but he's in strong position when he goes out.

When a mid tier man goes out, he is often ignored and/or rejected. When a subpar man goes out, his rejection are often harsher.

Top tier men don't need to go to nightlife venues as much to approach strangers due to their options from swipe apps. Swipe apps create efficiencies for top tier men that nightlife has never been able to achieve. The way women treat top tier men from swipe apps is completely different than how they treat more ordinary men off of swipe apps.

Women will wait in line for a top tier guy as compared to having a wide variety of options with mid tier men in most cases. There are women who will choose a mid tier men, but it is often after not being able to secure commitment from a top tier man or they met through a social circle.

Women are reluctant to choose mid tier men from stranger approaches or tech methods.
 

plumber

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When top tier men go to bars, the probability that they can successfully seduce is much higher.

They are more likely to get IOIs. Even if they don't get IOIs (Millennial & Gen Z women are worse at signaling), their approaches are overall well received.

A top tier man might not get laid every time he goes to a bar, but he's in strong position when he goes out.

When a mid tier man goes out, he is often ignored and/or rejected. When a subpar man goes out, his rejection are often harsher.

Top tier men don't need to go to nightlife venues as much to approach strangers due to their options from swipe apps. Swipe apps create efficiencies for top tier men that nightlife has never been able to achieve. The way women treat top tier men from swipe apps is completely different than how they treat more ordinary men off of swipe apps.

Women will wait in line for a top tier guy as compared to having a wide variety of options with mid tier men in most cases. There are women who will choose a mid tier men, but it is often after not being able to secure commitment from a top tier man or they met through a social circle.

Women are reluctant to choose mid tier men from stranger approaches or tech methods.
ok (i still get it). most men know where they fit, albeit some see themselves lower than reality. i agree with you about bar and social media/swipers. so unless normie is going to join the darts team and play social circle, going to the bar is a bad use of time other than to drink. also bad use of time for swipe... for the same reasons.

no normie will become chad fast enough to get something next week in this situation.

so what should normie do ?
 
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