Going out by yourself (Solo)

[spiegel549]

I don't have any plates spinning at the moment but I would like to get on that ASAP.

I am a very social guy, good looking, been living in L.A. for 2 years now. Love to dance, love to have social drinks and meet new people.

Once Thursday hits I get the "I wanna go out and meet some women" bug. So I call a few of my boys. (they are busy) call a few female friends (yes friends) they are busy.

So now I face the option. Sit at home and crank it at the wall, or dress up nice and head out SOLO.

Anyone go out solo often? Any tips on places to go to? Places to avoid when going solo?

 

[cfdagola]

I don't have any plates spinning at the moment but I would like to get on that ASAP.

I am a very social guy, good looking, been living in L.A. for 2 years now. Love to dance, love to have social drinks and meet new people.

Once Thursday hits I get the "I wanna go out and meet some women" bug. So I call a few of my boys. (they are busy) call a few female friends (yes friends) they are busy.

So now I face the option. Sit at home and crank it at the wall, or dress up nice and head out SOLO.

Anyone go out solo often? Any tips on places to go to? Places to avoid when going solo?

I've actually done this. Although its rare that i do. i gotta be feeling it.

Personally when i go out solo. i go out on the fact that i just want to get out and do something and be in a social environment.

When you're solo especially if you go to a bar its hard to strike up conversations with women especially if they see that you're solo. it's kinda creepy at least in the public sense of things. so i usually wait until women are within my proximity. like they're standing behind me waiting to get a drink or they're sitting next to me having a drink.

I usually strike up conversations with much success and more times than not they usually strike up conversations with me. "where's your friends.." etc.

I don't tend to discriminate who i talk to though. so sometimes other men start up conversations with me. "did you see the game?!" and i roll with it. I'm the kind of guy that can go into a bar alone. and because of my social aptitude make a lot of what i call temporary friends.

ALthough i've personally never had success with solo drinking. I've got phone numbers but they never amounted to anything.

 

[goundra]

I only go to martial arts classes and shooting ranges. I did ok, back in the day, dating women that I met in those places. We had interests in common, and mostly, women go to such places to meet guys like me. they know that what they meet in bars, etc, are drunks.

 

[PapiChulo]

I don't like riding solo in bars or clubs. Everyone seems to think you have an agenda and are looking for company. Even for a good-looking well dressed guys it is awkward. This is not to say that you can't have an adventure of some sort when you are out alone....Some bazaar things and encounters happen to me when I am solo.

 

[Mike32ct]

When you're solo especially if you go to a bar its hard to strike up conversations with women especially if they see that you're solo. it's kinda creepy at least in the public sense of things. so i usually wait until women are within my proximity. like they're standing behind me waiting to get a drink or they're sitting next to me having a drink.

I usually strike up conversations with much success and more times than not they usually strike up conversations with me. "where's your friends..".

I've done my fair share of going out solo. As mentioned above, try to talk to people near you. DON'T walk around club repeatedly looking for girls like J A WS the shark circling a boat lol.

Walking around too much just advertises that you are alone. It's far better to find a spot and socialize with people around you.

Th only thing I dread is the "Are you here alone or with friends?" question. I still don't have a good solid reply to that one. I've told the truth with mixed results and lied my a$s off with mixed results lol.

The advantages of going alone are flexibility to come, go, leave, or stay on your terms. Your buddy won't drag to a place you hate or make you leave because he's having a bad night. Most importantly, you don't have to worry about competing with your wing. Even if you never actually compete with him directly, girls are ALWAYS comparing your looks with that of your wing. An ugly wing makes you both ugly. A hot wing will make girls approach YOU... to find out your buddy's name and if he's single lol. If you must wing, pick an equal or just slightly better.

 

[Mike32ct]

The other advice I can give is if you go solo, stick to nicer venues because they are safer. If a place has lots of fights, it's silly to go there alone. (Actually there's no reason to go there period.)

I only went to places I felt very safe at. The game is tough enough without having to watch your back.

It is a bit of a balancing act. Too upscale will be snobby and pretentious. Too trashy is dangerous. Ultimately pick a place you feel really comfortable at and can enjoy even if you don't hook up that night. Becoming a regular and getting to know the staff doesn't hurt either.

 

[cfdagola]

The other advice I can give is if you go solo, stick to nicer venues because they are safer. If a place has lots of fights, it's silly to go there alone. (Actually there's no reason to go there period.)

I only went to places I felt very safe at. The game is tough enough without having to watch your back.

It is a bit of a balancing act. Too upscale will be snobby and pretentious. Too trashy is dangerous. Ultimately pick a place you feel really comfortable at and can enjoy even if you don't hook up that night. Becoming a regular and getting to know the staff doesn't hurt either.

when i do this. and again i seldom do.

i usually stick to local bars. where i have a little bit of social proof from the bartender who knows me personally. or well enough to stick around and have a conversation with me before moving off to help people.

i would never drive 30 minutes to downtown and roll up into a night club solo. however bars down there are so crowded that rolling solo would be easy enough considering you can just say my friends are somewhere in here. i can't seem to find them.

 

[NewAndImproved]

I'm definitely comfortable going to a few local bars in my area alone. I'm already good friends with the doorman at one place (got him laid lol) and know a few of the bartenders, too. I wouldn't go to a big club or a new venue by myself, though. Usually if someone asks I just "say my boy ditched me for his girl... I thought it was bros before ****" or something like that.

 

[Scars]

From my experience, it's always best to go solo unless you have a good wingman or a buddy who know's what he's doing. I've been pretty successful solo, but I've been even more successful with a wingman. It must be the fact that girls tend to trust you more when you come with somebody else. So maybe pay more attention to rapport. All I can say is, yes, it can be done. Don't let going out a lone stop you from getting pvssy.

-Scars

 

[thevilittletroll]

I actually have better success when i go out solo. it forces me to talk to people since i have nobody with me. dont believe any of this crap about people thinking you are alone will give you lower value. the reality is no one cares, and nobody really knows. if you are a social person, and you are keeping the conversation fun, it wont matter. i've never been asked by a girl i was gaming if i was alone. sometimes i get asked where my friends are cause they want to meet them cause i'm so much fun. i'll say lets go make some new friends, then open a new set with her.

the other thing that you can do is what's called short setting. go into a bar and run a simple opinion opener to several sets, hook them at go to the next set. do this a bunch of times, so when you do open a girl you want you can introduce her some other sets you've opened earlier. it will appear to women that are watching you that you know lots of people and have an extremely high social value. this actually adds to your game. when i'm with a wingman i feel like i'm responsible for entertaining him and not taking as much advantage of gaming chicks like i should.

 

[Solomon]

Solo is my name and approaching is my game! The crazy stuff always happens when I go out solo brah

 

[Bokanovsky]

I think it's a sad reflection on our society that going out alone is considered "creepy" or weird. Things would actually be so much more interesting if more people had the balls to get out of their comfort zone, go out alone and meet new people. Instead, most go out with their cliques and socialize with the same people every weekend.

 

[Stagger Lee]

There's some excellent replies in this thread. I almost always went out solo and to the bars/clubs in the downtown entertainment district. No doubt being solo will take a big hit on your social proof and isn't idea, but I look at it this way: solo>bad wing>not going out at all.

Most wings are bad wings in my experience. I think it's best if the wing is on the same level as you and is a true friend.

 

[Burroughs]

I think it's a sad reflection on our society that going out alone is considered "creepy" or weird. Things would actually be so much more interesting if more people had the balls to get out of their comfort zone, go out alone and meet new people. Instead, most go out with their cliques and socialize with the same people every weekend.

You are absolutely right but in socializing:

it takes two to tango

You can go out all you like, but if you alone, and you have no social proof fame or friends with bartender....you will look like a 'creeper'

thats just how chicks and white knights are these days which amounts to 99% of the people you will know.

See the way girls look at it 'if you have to go outside your comfort zone..' you are an inherent loser....girls have 100s of facebook friends and lots of orbiters so if you are out alone that REPRESENTS A GIRLS BIGGEST FEAR OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN TO HER

girls are never alone in 2012.....they don't have the inner strength to be alone.

and if as a man you are alone.....women will resent you and call you a creeper.

why?

because even the shallowest hairdresser or starbucks worker chick believes SHE IS INHERENTLY BETTER THAN ANY MAN

....this is the world we live in 2012

 

[spiegel549]

It is sad that a guy going out solo is labeled a "creeper."

Last night no one was around so I said **** it I am dressing up and heading out. Went to a new bar I never went to, within 15 minutes this guy started a convo with me and turned out he was with a huge groups of people and he invited me join. I met a **** ton of cute broads last night, danced with all of them, and left with a number from one that I enjoyed chatting with.

Not once did someone ask who I was with, or if I was alone.

I feel if you are dressed up real nice, you styled your hair, you take care of your body (keep in shape) and you are confident in your own body. So long as your a social individual you aren't going to come off as a creep.

Just don't be sitting in the corner sipping your drink and not talk to anyone lol..Even if you have to start by talking with a dude who cares?

Imagine if I just stayed home and did nothing..F that from now on.

 

[VladPatton]

I don't like going out alone, myself. If it works for you, by all means, rock out with your c0ck out. I personally feel like a creeper, off, and just weird. As if a cloud of patheticism is hanging over me. Burroughs is spot on.

I don't have any wingman friends or any of that bullshyt, I just go out with people that I actually like to sit around and shoot the shyt with. If anything happens, so be it. A month ago we ended up talking to 2 chicks from Paris out of the blue. Great, otherwise, I have things to preoccupy me until the next hang out.

It's all about what works for you and what sparks your mojo.