God I'm dumb!!

[Jon55]

This girl called me today who I've been kinda seeing, we'll call her Kimberly. She was on her break at work, and while we were talking I accidentally called her Katherine. She seemed kinda bothered by it and I was like "wow my bad!". I haven't even talked to a Katherine in years!

I'm half thinking about going over to her work and giving her a little flower or something just saying hey sorry...so what time are you off? Is that pretty afc though? What the crap should I do? I feel like it's a big deal/will make or break whether or not we go any farther.

 

[wjh]

Lol if thats all it takes to cause a problem with her i'd ditch the bit.ch

 

[MotownMack]

I'm half thinking about going over to her work and giving her a little flower or something just saying hey sorry...

I'd say it's particularly AFC in this case, only because you're not even sure she's that upset about yet... your panicking a little here. She how she responds before you apologize anymore.

FYI- whether it's because I am spinning plates, drunk, or having a major brain-fart, I have done this many times. For future reference, be quicker on your feet next time and act like you did it on purpose. I once called a girl my ex's name during sex years ago (which is a reason I generally don't do that anymore, lol), and worse yet, she knew my ex's name and absolutely loathed her.

She was on top, and immediately stopped moving. Thinking fast, I laughed and smacked her on the ass, and acted like I did it to mess with her. And we were off again.

It may sound a little cheesy, but other times where I've done it, the girl would be like "Katherine? WTF?" ... and I'd say something stupid like "Yes, I like Katherine better, it makes you sound like some high society b1tch and I am like the lowly pool boy."

I have yet to admit to doing it accidentally (always act like I am clowning around), and even if they aren't sure if they believe you, it doesn't really give them anywhere to go.

 

[Jon55]

I'd say it's particularly AFC in this case, only because you're not even sure she's that upset about yet... your panicking a little here. She how she responds before you apologize anymore.

FYI- whether it's because I am spinning plates, drunk, or having a major brain-fart, I have done this many times. For future reference, be quicker on your feet next time and act like you did it on purpose. I once called a girl my ex's name during sex years ago (which is a reason I generally don't do that anymore, lol), and worse yet, she knew my ex's name and absolutely loathed her.

She was on top, and immediately stopped moving. Thinking fast, I laughed and smacked her on the ass, and acted like I did it to mess with her. And we were off again.

It may sound a little cheesy, but other times where I've done it, the girl would be like "Katherine? WTF?" ... and I'd say something stupid like "Yes, I like Katherine better, it makes you sound like some high society b1tch and I am like the lowly pool boy."

I have yet to admit to doing it accidentally (always act like I am clowning around), and even if they aren't sure if they believe you, it doesn't really give them anywhere to go.

lol, yeah on the phone I just kind of playfully said "no i didnt call you katherine!" "yeah my bad im sorry". She playfully responded "thats im just gonna go cry now i have to get back to work anyway (shes been at work for like the past 7 hours - long day)". I sent her a text saying "i feel really bad now " and havnt heard back. I kinda did something else dumb like this (not as bad) about a week ago to her and she wasn't so much mad at me as she was disappointed.

Eh, I kinda feel like a douche, but I donno. I have an afc past (and somewhat present) and it tends to speak up every now and then, and I don't know what to do sometimes.

 

[MotownMack]

I sent her a text saying i feel really bad now

And a year ago, being a "nice guy", I might have been inclined to do something like this too.

It's a bad idea, because even if you really do feel bad, the message you've now sent her is "yes, this is a big deal", even though it sounds like she may not have thought that way originally. Let's hope she doesn't start thinking "Hey, maybe I should be more upset"

It doesn't sound like she was that pissed. Trust me on this one, don't address it again unless she brings it up. If she does bring up, laugh it off initially, unless she forces you to address it. If she forces you to address it, I would start to turn it on her a little like the other poster was saying, something to the effect of "Geesh, people do this all the time. I don't even know a Katherine, it meant nothing. If you're going to get this upset over something this meaningless, what other surprises do I have ahead of me?"

Squash it.

 

[ketostix]

lol, yeah on the phone I just kind of playfully said "no i didnt call you katherine!" "yeah my bad im sorry". She playfully responded "thats im just gonna go cry now i have to get back to work anyway (shes been at work for like the past 7 hours - long day)". I sent her a text saying "i feel really bad now " and havnt heard back. I kinda did something else dumb like this (not as bad) about a week ago to her and she wasn't so much mad at me as she was disappointed.

Eh, I kinda feel like a douche, but I donno. I have an afc past (and somewhat present) and it tends to speak up every now and then, and I don't know what to do sometimes.

These are perfect examples of being AFC. You shouldn't have apologized once but apologizing later in a text was bad and feeling like douche is even worse.

 

[lordson]

you're a douche because you sent her that messafe "i feel bad now"

that just sounds way too needy and weak

she probably wasn't too bothered about it, and now she's got it in her head that you want her more than she wants you

dont bring it up again

 

[ketostix]

And a year ago, being a "nice guy", I might have been inclined to do something like this too.

It's a bad idea, because even if you really do feel bad, the message you've now sent her is "yes, this is a big deal", even though it sounds like she may not have thought that way originally. Let's hope she doesn't start thinking "Hey, maybe I should be more upset"

It doesn't sound like she was that pissed. Trust me on this one, don't address it again unless she brings it up. If she does bring up, laugh it off initially, unless she forces you to address it. If she forces you to address it, I would start to turn it on her a little like the other poster was saying, something to the effect of "Geesh, people do this all the time. I don't even know a Katherine, it meant nothing. If you're going to get this upset over something this meaningless, what other surprises do I have ahead of me?"

Squash it.

:yes:. You're basically telling her that you are a wuss and she owns you IMO. Keep things light and funny and if she doesn't have a sense of humor then let her know you're not too happy about that.

 

[Nighthawk]

You are completely dependent on a woman's approval. Once you realised your mistake you could have said - 'hey dumbass why didn't you tell me your name's not Katherine?' or 'Well you look like a Katherine to me, so please change your name.'

The middle ground - 'Oh, I'm rubbish with names, aren't you? (everyone is, common bond) People should be forced to wear nametags (laugh).

Just see the funny side of things and stop worrying. STOP WORRYING!

 

[Jon55]

Whoa lol ok I got it. No more apologizing. Part of me felt like the text was a bit much anyway. Thanks again guys. You know the old "angel" and "devil that sit on your shoulders telling you what you should do? Well for me it's an "afc" and a "dj". I'm listening to the dj a lot more now, but still come across those moments when I don't know which one is right.

EDIT: God, looking at it again after reading your comments, it really does seem like I'm making it a big deal. Now I'm repulsed by myself. Yikes!

 

[MotownMack]

I'm listening to the dj a lot more now, but still come across those moments when I don't know which one is right.

It's a continual process, don't beat yourself up over it. We all learn from our failures and mistakes. Just file this one away and move on.

 

[Poonani Maker]

Dude, if you had just stopped at getting her name wrong then it would've been a 'qualifying' move for you, but nooo you had to think that messing up her name was a bad thing. You didn't even know that you'd done the right thing.

Next time, tell her that, you know 7 other Kimberlys and that you're gonna call her Kimberly #5. This is just playful banter, and it will work to your favor if you play it right.

 

[MotownMack]

Dude, if you had just stopped at getting her name wrong then it would've been a 'qualifying' move for you, but nooooooooooooooooooo you had to think that messing up her name was a bad thing. You didn't even know that you'd done the right thing.

Next time, tell her that, you know 7 other Kimberlys and that you're gonna call her Kimberly #5. This is just playful banter, and it will work to your favor if you play it right.

Lmfao.. brilliant. That's even better than my suggestion.

 

[Effington]

I find it amusing that you think this is a big deal. You don't need to anything for her.

 

[MooseGod]

If she's freaked about you calling her the wrong name I'd hate to see her reaction if you let a big loud one slip during sex...

 

[Moofahsa]

This is the most lame thread I have ever read on this forum.

 

[DonGorgon]

Tell her you have other close female friends as she does male friends...

 

[Faded Image]

If she's your girlfriend then apologizing is okay.

If she's some girl you're gaming, no need to apologize. In your case, it's to late because you've already apologized twice.

Best thing to do is forget it ever happened.

 

[MacAvoy]

She was on top, and immediately stopped moving. Thinking fast, I laughed and smacked her on the ass, and acted like I did it to mess with her. And we were off again.

Nice recovery. I might have to add this to my mind fvck arsenal.