Bonjourno dudes,
This post is mainly addressed at younger guys coming through, like me, who have grown up with texting and instant messaging (facebook, myspace, msn) and are part of that generation that is always talked about as the 'digital generation' about who, numerous statements like 'teenagers now do 30% of their socialising online" are made.
I know you may text your mates and friends who are girls all the time or chat to them online BUT I have come to believe that there is a great deal of power in having as much of your interactions with girls of interest either on the phone or face to face.
After getting her number, you might be tempted to start a texting dialogue with her but I believe that you should ring her to organise your first date (perhaps send a text with your name in it and I've borrowed this example from simple pick up "This is a VIP # store carefully, Sean") as to avoid the 'I don't answer blocked numbers thing'.
In a world where many guys opt out for the easier option of texting, calling can become one of your 'points of difference'. Obviously, it's not going to have her begging you to have sex with her but it does have a number of benefits.
1. It shows confidence, it says I have the confidence to call you rather than simply mash in some keys on my phone and hide behind a keyboard/phone screen) Remember, no one ever thinks keyboard warriors are tough (keep that in mind next time you're commenting on youtube
)
2. A girl I called (We're both 17) said she wasn't use to being called and that having a phone call intimidated/frightened her slightly. I.e. she felt an increased level of alertness and attention than she usually would. In a way she associates talking to me as her emotions being heightened and her arousal levels (as in alertness) are also raised. You want women to FEEL something when they interact with you.
This will sound crazy to older guys but perhaps in our generation there are girls who haven't had guys texting rather than calling and this 'phone call business' is out of the ordinary.
Girls who you have the number of and have been on a date with/you are going to ask out put them on the 'acquaintances' list on facebook and have your chat status as 'Appear offline to Acquaintances' this is a trick I've started to use recently and here are the results.
I put a girl on this acquaintances list
On the fourth date she confronts me about it 'you take so long to text back/you never talk to me on facebook chat like you use to'
I simply said, "I don't enjoy doing these things I find them kind of bland"
The next time I was on facebook I messaged her as a one off and she responed as thus
"thankyou for talking to me on facebook [] but it's actually ok if you don't like it- i was getting used to the silence
it makes it exciting to see you in person"
The absolute key sentence here is IT MAKES IT EXCITING TO SEE YOU IN PERSON. Wow, I've got a girl excited to see me and all I had to do was cut the crappy "How's your day? brb, g2g, lol" inane small talk that comprises digital communication.
Here is how I see it.
Your goal is to be HIGH VALUE
When you are on a date with a girl you have 100% of her attention. Thus, you are the highest value thing in her life when she is with you and therefore, she gives you her attention.
When you texting or chatting online with a girl you have anywhere from 2%-100% of your attention. She can be talking to you and chatting to a friend as well on facebook and also watching cute cat videos on youtube. You have no CONTROL over where her attention is.
Secondly, you want to establish KINO with a girl
Well see that's not a problem ka_mate I'll simply reach through my computer screen to touch her. Oh no, wait that's right you can't. Someone on this site said it and I love it "You can't Fck a number" likewise you can't "Fck an online chat log"
No 3: Text can be easily misinterpreted
Look at the Bible, a book written on the command of God himself (let's assume for the sake of my argument that it was) one of the greatest books of all time written by the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE and yet, we have THOUSANDS of denominations of Catholicism, Judaism and Islam which all interpret these written words differently.
If God himself can't write in a form that cannot be misinterpreted what makes you think that you can?
Suddenly, your playfully busting on her (with which you would normally adopt a playful tone and a wry smile) can be misinterpreted as you being genuinely angry/crazy.
Furthermore, humour doesn't translate well through text. Now, you have to explain jokes and summarise what you have already said simply so that she can comprehend what you are saying. A paragraph explaining why the quip you just made is humorous rather than a reason for her to sue you isn't as sexy as you might think. Without effective humour it is so much harder to be ****y and Funny and the ability to establish original, engaging rapport becomes more difficult. You can no longer comment on experiences you are both sharing as you would if you were at a movie/bar/restaurant/lake. I also find that it is much harder to get a 'flow' going in the conversation as typing is much more taxing than talking and if she is tired or disinterested she will make one word responses which make it near impossible to improve your standings with her.
Bottom line,
Communication just doesn't work as well when it's not face to face.
I'm sure you've been bombarded with statistics of how much communication is non verbal (i.e. it's not the words that are said or typed) you lose all that TONAL communication and BODY LANGUAGE communication when you go online. For example, I have to bold or capitalize important points in this post as to emphasis them as I can't use the tonal change I would normally use.
You lose all of this when you chat online. You might have heard that expression "The more you talk the less people listen" Face to face you can communicate so much more with less words, your words hold weight and are more powerful.
Food for thought
This post is mainly addressed at younger guys coming through, like me, who have grown up with texting and instant messaging (facebook, myspace, msn) and are part of that generation that is always talked about as the 'digital generation' about who, numerous statements like 'teenagers now do 30% of their socialising online" are made.
I know you may text your mates and friends who are girls all the time or chat to them online BUT I have come to believe that there is a great deal of power in having as much of your interactions with girls of interest either on the phone or face to face.
After getting her number, you might be tempted to start a texting dialogue with her but I believe that you should ring her to organise your first date (perhaps send a text with your name in it and I've borrowed this example from simple pick up "This is a VIP # store carefully, Sean") as to avoid the 'I don't answer blocked numbers thing'.
In a world where many guys opt out for the easier option of texting, calling can become one of your 'points of difference'. Obviously, it's not going to have her begging you to have sex with her but it does have a number of benefits.
1. It shows confidence, it says I have the confidence to call you rather than simply mash in some keys on my phone and hide behind a keyboard/phone screen) Remember, no one ever thinks keyboard warriors are tough (keep that in mind next time you're commenting on youtube
)2. A girl I called (We're both 17) said she wasn't use to being called and that having a phone call intimidated/frightened her slightly. I.e. she felt an increased level of alertness and attention than she usually would. In a way she associates talking to me as her emotions being heightened and her arousal levels (as in alertness) are also raised. You want women to FEEL something when they interact with you.
This will sound crazy to older guys but perhaps in our generation there are girls who haven't had guys texting rather than calling and this 'phone call business' is out of the ordinary.
Girls who you have the number of and have been on a date with/you are going to ask out put them on the 'acquaintances' list on facebook and have your chat status as 'Appear offline to Acquaintances' this is a trick I've started to use recently and here are the results.
I put a girl on this acquaintances list
On the fourth date she confronts me about it 'you take so long to text back/you never talk to me on facebook chat like you use to'
I simply said, "I don't enjoy doing these things I find them kind of bland"
The next time I was on facebook I messaged her as a one off and she responed as thus
"thankyou for talking to me on facebook [
] but it's actually ok if you don't like it- i was getting used to the silenceit makes it exciting to see you in person"
The absolute key sentence here is IT MAKES IT EXCITING TO SEE YOU IN PERSON. Wow, I've got a girl excited to see me and all I had to do was cut the crappy "How's your day? brb, g2g, lol" inane small talk that comprises digital communication.
Here is how I see it.
Your goal is to be HIGH VALUE
When you are on a date with a girl you have 100% of her attention. Thus, you are the highest value thing in her life when she is with you and therefore, she gives you her attention.
When you texting or chatting online with a girl you have anywhere from 2%-100% of your attention. She can be talking to you and chatting to a friend as well on facebook and also watching cute cat videos on youtube. You have no CONTROL over where her attention is.
Secondly, you want to establish KINO with a girl
Well see that's not a problem ka_mate I'll simply reach through my computer screen to touch her. Oh no, wait that's right you can't. Someone on this site said it and I love it "You can't Fck a number" likewise you can't "Fck an online chat log"
No 3: Text can be easily misinterpreted
Look at the Bible, a book written on the command of God himself (let's assume for the sake of my argument that it was) one of the greatest books of all time written by the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE and yet, we have THOUSANDS of denominations of Catholicism, Judaism and Islam which all interpret these written words differently.
If God himself can't write in a form that cannot be misinterpreted what makes you think that you can?
Suddenly, your playfully busting on her (with which you would normally adopt a playful tone and a wry smile) can be misinterpreted as you being genuinely angry/crazy.
Furthermore, humour doesn't translate well through text. Now, you have to explain jokes and summarise what you have already said simply so that she can comprehend what you are saying. A paragraph explaining why the quip you just made is humorous rather than a reason for her to sue you isn't as sexy as you might think. Without effective humour it is so much harder to be ****y and Funny and the ability to establish original, engaging rapport becomes more difficult. You can no longer comment on experiences you are both sharing as you would if you were at a movie/bar/restaurant/lake. I also find that it is much harder to get a 'flow' going in the conversation as typing is much more taxing than talking and if she is tired or disinterested she will make one word responses which make it near impossible to improve your standings with her.
Bottom line,
Communication just doesn't work as well when it's not face to face.
I'm sure you've been bombarded with statistics of how much communication is non verbal (i.e. it's not the words that are said or typed) you lose all that TONAL communication and BODY LANGUAGE communication when you go online. For example, I have to bold or capitalize important points in this post as to emphasis them as I can't use the tonal change I would normally use.
You lose all of this when you chat online. You might have heard that expression "The more you talk the less people listen" Face to face you can communicate so much more with less words, your words hold weight and are more powerful.
Food for thought
