Giving up on Game & getting into an arranged marriage or stick to the bitter end?

[DoofusDonutDude]

So, a weird question to ask on a forum such as this though, but here it goes because it needs a "broader perspective"

The country where i come from (India) there is this way that a lot of guys get laid eventually -- by getting married via the arranged method .

Its why Indian men in general suck at dating internationally as well but do well financially, there are no forever "incels" here - you got the cash, you can get a decent looking girl via arranged marriage. No games required. Kind of like The Big Bang Theory shows with Raj.

Short summary-- someone someone your folks know tell you about someone telling them about a family who's looking for a groom etc, you meet the girl and her family , man-girl kind of get to know each other for a few months and then you get hitched.

There side-effect is most folks are hitched by 30s here, which shrinks the dating pool a little.

While a lot of folks may think you only get the bad looking babes this way, its not necessarily true- I've seen HB8 HB7 HB9 women string along boyfriends for years and then marrying some dude their parents arranged them after dumping their ass. These kind of women generally require you to either have good money, good height or good looks.

Family has been hunting my ass to get married for a while now and i don't want to. Where's the fun in that?

I've hung out with a natural bloke with body counts in the double digits and learned some stuff from studying him as well.

I'm just learning the ropes of the game. I've fixed up my appearance, i'm lifting weights, i am more social ...but the fear of failure haunts me.

It's a bit of the situation where you can win small or you can win big (with the risk of losing big)? What would you say..to do?

P.S. No i'm not a ***** incapable of making my decisions. It's just all my friends are blinded by the societal model of getting married by your 30s and are used to the easy fallback option- for many its the first option of getting a woman via arranged system asking them-- they don't understand the desire to..game. That's why i need some non-Indian dude's opinions..

 

[SW15]

The upside of an arranged marriage is avoiding being a forever alone incel. In the United States, there are more and more men who are sexless. About 30-40% of 18-29 year old males now aren't having any sex in a given 12 month period. That's substantial. Sexlessness rates for men 30+ are even still high. Avoiding the worst outcome is a compelling case for arranged marriages.

 

[DoofusDonutDude]

The upside of an arranged marriage is avoiding being a forever alone incel. In the United States, there are more and more men who are sexless. About 30-40% of 18-29 year old males now aren't having any sex in a given 12 month period. That's substantial. Sexlessness rates for men 30+ are even still high. Avoiding the worst outcome is a compelling case for arranged marriages.

Lol. Where i come from- most men are sexless by the 30s unless they are married early (as early from 24 to 27 which is moderately common).

Avoiding the worse outcome - isn't that almost like failing ? Why win at what you don't want.. why not play to win?

Another luxury of the arranged system- you can get arranged at any age provided you have money- just the quality of chicks will obviously take a hit..so yeah..no incel anyhow.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I understand why so many want to emigrate, seems like a very oppressive culture.

 

[Scaramouche]

I understand why so many want to emigrate, seems like a very oppressive culture.

Hi Pierce,
India is a very poor Nation,the logic behind the arranged Marriage system is financial,as is their wish to move to Western Countries....When I return from Eastern Lands,the first things I notice are the scowling Woman,in many this becomes almost permanent and they develop downward lines from the corners of their mouths...In India everyone seems to smile at you.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I’ve worked for decades with Desi’s my best friend is Punjabi, I love the people but much of their docile nature has been perpetuated by imperialism and an iron grip from rulers.

It has a very strong matriarchal society, many women are confused between wanting a traditional Indian man and wanting to flex their effinism. They often raise their boys to be weaklings.

p.s. this is my observation and does not necessarily represent the beliefs of other site management or the owner.

 

[SW15]

It has a very strong matriarchal society, many women are confused between wanting a traditional Indian man and wanting to flex their effinism. They often raise their boys to be weaklings.

When Indian women get to Western nations, they become very feminist and careerist.

 

[DoofusDonutDude]

I’ve worked for decades with Desi’s my best friend is Punjabi, I love the people but much of their docile nature has been perpetuated by imperialism and an iron grip from rulers.

It has a very strong matriarchal society, many women are confused between wanting a traditional Indian man and wanting to flex their effinism. They often raise their boys to be weaklings.

p.s. this is my observation and does not necessarily represent the beliefs of other site management or the owner.

Au contraire my friend. It is very patriarchal - the matriarchal thing is strong where the women wear the pants in the relationships- regardless of that they do have a significant voice in the family. I guess the closest i've heard of it in the west is jewish families and the roles mothers play in it..

Regardless, yes, in some aspects it is oppressive.

Punjabis aren't docile. That's like the Texas of India.

 

[The Duke]

OP, I have 2 Indian friends. One turned down his family suggestion for an arranged marriage for several years. He dated a few white girls. Women loved him. He was tall, confident, charming, outgoing, and funny. Not your typical Indian guy living in America. He eventually married a younger Indian girl that he met thru mutual friends in his early 30's. He was ready to do the family thing.

My other Indian buddy had his family set him up with 3 Indian girls. He didn't like the pressure his family out on him. They would have him fly home and stay for 3wks to meet these girls. He hated it. He finally caved and picked one. I don't think he is that happy with his wife. He had too much fun partying with me, lol. Truth be known he didn't have the dating skills to succeed, but he was perfectly capable.

My other buddy was Armenian and had an arranged marriage that ended in divorce. He has banged tons of girls over the years. He was willing to learn how to game women and keep elevating himself.

Being a single guy dating random women rolling thru life has its positives but it isn't without negatives. It eventually gets old too.

It's what you want. Do you have what it takes to get girls on a regular basis? Do you care if you run the risk of disappointing your family?

As you mentioned I've also seen plenty of 20 something Indian girls bang a few dudes then get into some sudden arranged marriage.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Au contraire my friend. It is very patriarchal - the matriarchal thing is strong where the women wear the pants in the relationships- regardless of that they do have a significant voice in the family. I guess the closest i've heard of it in the west is jewish families and the roles mothers play in it..

Regardless, yes, in some aspects it is oppressive.

Punjabis aren't docile. That's like the Texas of India.

Kerala…

 

[DoofusDonutDude]

OP, I have 2 Indian friends. One turned down his family suggestion for an arranged marriage for several years. He dated a few white girls. Women loved him. He was tall, confident, charming, outgoing, and funny. Not your typical Indian guy living in America. He eventually married a younger Indian girl that he met thru mutual friends in his early 30's. He was ready to do the family thing.

My other Indian buddy had his family set him up with 3 Indian girls. He didn't like the pressure his family out on him. They would have him fly home and stay for 3wks to meet these girls. He hated it. He finally caved and picked one. I don't think he is that happy with his wife. He had too much fun partying with me, lol. Truth be known he didn't have the dating skills to succeed, but he was perfectly capable.

My other buddy was Armenian and had an arranged marriage that ended in divorce. He has banged tons of girls over the years. He was willing to learn how to game women and keep elevating himself.

Being a single guy dating random women rolling thru life has its positives but it isn't without negatives. It eventually gets old too.

It's what you want. Do you have what it takes to get girls on a regular basis? Do you care if you run the risk of disappointing your family?

As you mentioned I've also seen plenty of 20 something Indian girls bang a few dudes then get into some sudden arranged marriage.

Huh. That's nice to hear about the first friend of yours. The second one..feels sad.

Yes, i am working on the skills to get girls on a regular basis. The thing that works in my favor is i am doing well financially, physically fit, (working to get to 10-12% bf), not scared of girls in general, intelligent and i am willing to put in the work and have pretty decent amount of balls. Also am in touch with a natural friend who's been slaying for a long time..I am not tall , but that doesn't matter.

Understand your point about rolling though life as a single dude, my goal isn't to be some fckboy, but to be a player capable of being a fckboy, capable of getting ONS and laid whenever but choosing to exercise it rarely if at all. It's not a validation thing, its more of a desire thing - can i get what i desire in this area of life if i put in the work for it?

Goal is not to bang a 100 different women 3-4 times, but want to do 3-4 very high quality women 100s of times, eventually settling down with one high quality women.

 

[DoofusDonutDude]

Kerala…

Makes sense now.