Giving in to peoples reality

[Packers2010]

lately my sister has been being a real B*t*H to me. she has been swearing at me, and just going off at me at every chance she gets.

the thing is, every time SHE yells at me. I yell at her back and it gets me no where. i keep buying into HER frame instead of keeping my own. you can so tell i do it because i get so frustrated when it happens sometimes i am lost for words.

my question would be, how would you stop this?

 

[JohnChops]

Move along and brush it off your shoulder. in one ear and out the other oh and smile.and.laugh at her.

 

[MisterSisterFister]

The problem with us as human beings is we fall into patterns.. Instead of approaching it differently you do the same thing over and over expecting different results but that never happens so you need to change your approach...

So you notice that what your doing is not working. Yelling back is not working that is good. Try different approaches such as-

"I love you too sister" *give her a huge bear hug and kiss her on the forehead* Just smother her with affection that will pull the rug from underneath her now at first she will yell more but thats when the hug and smothering comes in...

Or you could do the exact same thing I said except for yelling it at her with some swear words

"I f**king love you bi**"*smothering her again*

Or when she is putting you down just keep agreeing with her...

"yeah yeah huh never noticed that....huh..I guess thats something I need to think about"

Basically there are alot of ways to attack this but it has to be something she is not expecting. She expects you to yell back and when you do YOU turn into the bad guy in her mind and then it is all of the sudden ok in her mind...So when you detach yourself from these "words" or "meanings" then you truly begin to understand.

 

[Cremasta]

I'm guessing you may have an iPhone or something similar.

When she starts going off her nut, just take it out and start recording.
"Please keep going, I'm just making sure I don't miss any of your constructive criticism!"

You could probably start a blog...

 

[MisterD]

Passive aggressive is my game. People that have to yell and scream are not in positions of control. Just stay in control. When people yell at me I still talk as if we're having a regular conversation. I just play it cool and make them look silly for getting emotional.

 

[JohnnyStorm]

I've been reading, "When I say No, I feel guilty", basically a book on how to assert yourself and what the author suggests is when you're offended or mocked, agree with the general truth in the statement.
i.e. if someone says, "Packers2010, you're such an ignorant prick"
Just say, "You could be right, sometimes I am pretty ignorant" and just keep on doing this until with their follow up statements until they eventually run out of patience.

An interesting strategy anyway!

 

[Packers2010]

thanks for the help guys.. I know EXACTLY what i am going to say next time.. one of my fav lines from my my fav movie..

" well... that's just like... your opinion man"

 

[MisterSisterFister]

hmmmm....yeaaaaaa.....that sounds retarded....Mayber I am reading it wrong?


ha ha