Giving compliments?

[wavejams007]

I didn't really know where to place this post. One thing that just occurred to me. While being an AFC and doing AFC-ish things is to be frowned upon, what is the complete and total harm in paying someone , and especially a girl, a compliment? I mean, not a huge, disgustingly romantic compliment or anything, but a little while ago, I got called a ***** just for paying pen kitten a compliment. Now, I am not insulted in the least by the namecalling, but it raised a point.

What is wrong with making someone feel good?

 

[undesputable]

It isnt bad, is just that guys overdo it. You got the majority of the male population giving compliments and kissing hot girls asses that they get tired of it. In my opinion if you dont compliment a lot or anything. Giving a nice compliment on ocassions to a girl you know and if you mean it is good, sometimes it might have no effect at all, but it will most likley wont ever be bad.

 

[wavejams007]

thank you for responding. I was starting to worry that this site was starting to be full of give-no-compliments-be-heartless people.

 

[penkitten]

i give compliments to people .
i dont think there is anything wrong with it.
i appreciated your compliment, made me feel good.
alot of times i post a reply to something here and feel like because i am a female no one takes me serious.
was a nice change of pace to feel like at least someone is listening.

 

[WhitePimp]

I think the most important thing about a compliment is to actually MEAN it. If a girl I'm with smells really good, I will tell her she smells good. If I like what she did with her hair that day, I will tell her I like it. When you start blindly giving compliments just to give one, they lose meaning and it's unnecessary

 

[DJDamage]

I think the most important thing about a compliment is to actually MEAN it. If a girl I'm with smells really good, I will tell her she smells good. If I like what she did with her hair that day, I will tell her I like it. When you start blindly giving compliments just to give one, they lose meaning and it's unnecessary

Reminds me of this joke: A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with the co- worker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "He's a midget."

 

[wavejams007]

Originally posted by DJDamage
Reminds me of this joke: A man walks up to a woman in his office and tells her that her hair smells nice. The woman immediately goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit and explains why. The supervisor is puzzled by this time and says, "What's wrong with the co- worker telling you your hair smells nice?" The woman replies, "He's a midget."

LoL.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by wavejams007
I didn't really know where to place this post. One thing that just occurred to me. While being an AFC and doing AFC-ish things is to be frowned upon, what is the complete and total harm in paying someone , and especially a girl, a compliment? I mean, not a huge, disgustingly romantic compliment or anything, but a little while ago, I got called a ***** just for paying pen kitten a compliment. Now, I am not insulted in the least by the namecalling, but it raised a point.

What is wrong with making someone feel good?

There's nothing wrong with complimenting penkitten. She deserves it and is worthy of it. Complimenting in general is also okay if you keep a couple of things in mind.

Don't overdo. It's okay to compliment someone often, but make sure you don't get to a point where you compliment someone so much that your compliments don't even seem to mean anything because they are so frequent. Also, if you compliment someone for everything that they do, you can eventually come off as insincere. Further, it's possible to go "over the top". In other words, there's a difference between saying, "I think you have wise things to say" and "I wish I could marry you". Going over the top can often make you look either insincere or pathetic.

Watch your motivation. Some people compliment someone simply because they want to point out something that the other person does well. For example, penkitten gives good advice and she's also good at many other things. Complimenting that is acceptable. There are other instances where someone will compliment a person because they want to manipulate that person into doing something ("butter them up"). How many times has someone given you a compliment like "I think you're soooo smart" or "You're like the nicest person in the whole world", causing you to say suspiciously, "What do you want?" Giving someone a compliment merely as an up-front bribe because you want them to do something for you isn't really a compliment at all.

The AFC Factor. If you see a beautiful girl, and you tell her, "You are so beautiful," what is your motivation? If that girl is your wife or girlfriend, your motivation might just be to boost her confidence and let her know you appreciate her and her beauty. However, if it's just some stranger you don't know, your motivation is probably an attempt to get her to like you. The act of complimenting a girl in an effort to get her to like you is AFC.

Keep those things in mind and you should be just fine.

 

[Luveno]

Give a compliment when it is due.

For instance, if someone does something nice for you, compliment them on it.

If someone does something that is worth merit, compliment them.

If you get your ass handed to you in tennis, compliment your opponent.

However, beauty is not an accomplishment, a good deed, or an achievement. It's art that God made. Next time you see a beautiful woman, compliment God.