Giving Attention Vs Ignoring

[ManOMan]

I have read in the tips forum on this

My question is this..there is this girl..who I used to pay alot of attention to
and she eventually started digging me..I called her all the time, Emailed back and forth from work like 10 times a day, sent her little gifts here and there

then I noticed her attention to me was starting to lessen and lessen..

I finally decided to cut her out cold turkey..changed my fone #, stopped emailing/calling her..

and she did the same thing...instead of trying to find out why I stopped talking to her..she gave me the same treatment I gave her

I occassionally get postcards from this woman and letters (maybe like once every 2 months asking How I am? and when we could see each other?)

I normally just send her a thank u email..and thats it..

im confused why this chick decided to ignore me..and writes me..when she could simply email??

and how come me ignoring her isnt working?

It seems I have more luck when I PAY her attention rather than ignoring her?

any help would be appreciated guys

 

[Slickster]

Your ignoring her is working. She's still sending you post cards and letters asking when you can see her. That is some interest anyway. Seeing how you completely cut her off. Hows she supposed to get a hold of you when you changed your #?

Why didn't you ask her out when interest was high? Don't hesitate! You probably scared her off with too much interest.

P.s. A letter is way more personal than an Email. This is a good sign buddy. Ask her out.

 

[ManOMan]

I have dated her a few times and she said she really liked me

but her behavior (less emails/not returning phonecalls) all said different

she gets hot cold too much

so I cut her off, but how long do you have to ignore a woman to finally get her attention back?

Thats why Im confused, I read everywhere that you should give her the gift of missing you, so I did just that

but it seems the more distant I get, the more distant she becomes

but the more attention I pay her, the more she resiprocates, but it comes to a halt when it reaches a certain level, then she withdraws

 

[Slickster]

Give a little then take it away. Always keep her wanting more. You just have to get a feel for when to give and take. She sounds into you. Just don't smother her.

 

[becker]

There's a thread right below (Slickster will know about this one) that pertains to this issue.

Ask drixsa, he apparently LOVES these types of situations where the girl just plays with your head.

Personally, I'd hate to be in your shoes, because I hate those stupid games, she needs to just come clean or don't come at all.

 

[Ronin I]

I have dated her a few times and she said she really liked me

but her behavior (less emails/not returning phonecalls) all said different

Ding, Ding, Ding!!! What prize do we have for him Johnny?

Dude you are right there but your inner AFC is tugging at you.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!!!!

Do not pay any attention to what she SAYS but what she DOES. Draw your conclusions from her behavior. Her behavior is telling she she is not interested.

but the more attention I pay her, the more she resiprocates, but it comes to a halt when it reaches a certain level, then she withdraws

She reciprocates because INITIALLY the ATTENTION feels nice. She likes it. We all like a certain amount of attention and woman absolutely lust for it. But because their is little to no genuine interest in YOU - the good feelings she gets from the ATTENTION evaporate quickly.

As far as the postcards go - they are a WEAK ass attempt to keep you on a string - keep you as some sort of BACKUP until she finds someone else to devote herself to fully.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Good posts above. Just wanted to add something.

I've noticed that when you pull this move (cutting all contact after giving her lots of attention and after realizing it was getting you nowhere), the chick will often pull the same move back on you once she figures out what it is going on.

She will start ignoring you even stronger than you are ignoring her. She will not even say Hi. What she is really doing, is just trying to punish you in an effort to induce you back into giving her attention.

It has worked for her before, of course. The first AFC that tried this on her eventually came running back because he didn't like how she was now ignoring him as well. After all, he really liked her. He was just trying to get her to step up to the plate. But, all she wanted was the attention so his move backfired. He, of course, became her girl friend.

These chicks eventually realize that you are not coming back despite her punishment efforts. A few hints, a few emails trying to induce you back are her next moves. She will eventually give up and move on which is exactly what you should do.