Give me some help...im going insane

[essexmatt]

Help me guys.

Ive been really really close wiv a girl for over 6 months now, last night we had a heated discussion on where things were going, she is happy the way things are, although she likes me a lot. Shes hot!! and i get easily jealous when she talks to other blokes, especially ones she has kissed before.

Well after our little chat, she left to get a taxi home with this bloke she kissed a few months back, i left bout 10 minutes later to find them huggin on the corner, arm in arm. It may well have been just a friendly thing but i felt well hurt by this.

What the hell do you think she wants from me?? Or is it time i moved on and tried to find sumone else for my attentions?

 

[squirrels]

It's time you grew up and stopped being so needy.

 

[Longview]

Originally posted by squirrels
It's time you grew up and stopped being so needy.

Well thats crap advice!!

Why dont you try actaully giving good advice to someone who needs it instead of just being a **** about it all!

 

[Zossima]

Originally posted by essexmatt
Help me guys.

Ive been really really close wiv a girl for over 6 months now, last night we had a heated discussion on where things were going, she is happy the way things are, although she likes me a lot. Shes hot!! and i get easily jealous when she talks to other blokes, especially ones she has kissed before.

Well after our little chat, she left to get a taxi home with this bloke she kissed a few months back, i left bout 10 minutes later to find them huggin on the corner, arm in arm. It may well have been just a friendly thing but i felt well hurt by this.

What the hell do you think she wants from me?? Or is it time i moved on and tried to find sumone else for my attentions?

Things I can glean from your post:

1) She's pulling the LJBF routine on you.

2) She has low IL in you.

3) You're WAY to AFC for her and she's on to you.

4) You're in denial. She's making out with some other guy and you still try to convince yourself it might just be "friendly".

5) What does she want from you? Obviously nothing more than an adoring sycophant to sooth her ego.

6) Should you move on? ..... I think that's quite obvious. You've fallen for someone you haven't got a chance with. Accept it and be a man.

 

[Macca]

Hey Essexmatt,

Thats not very nice of her to hop into a taxi and get touchy feely wiv a guy in front of you! If she is aware of your feelings towards her, then I find her behaviour very disgusting! She shouldn't do that stuff in front of you. I'm sorry if some disagree wiv me on this, but at the end of the day how can you respect someone that obviously has zero respect for you??

My advice is to def her out and avoid her like the plague. If you made a mistake then learn from it! If she likes you then maybe, just maybe she'll coming running. Please read my account of a drama that happened to me last year:

A girl I was sorta involved with decided to flirt around this guy in a club on a night out in front of me. I did the stupid thing and demonstrated my feelings in front of my mates and her by walking out of the club in disgust! The next day she was txting me asking if I was angry at her etc...well, I just ignored her. After about 2 weeks we were back on talking terms again, however, she didn't apologise to me. She made it perfectly clear to me that we weren't in a relationship and she could do what she liked. My response was "Fair enough!".

Anyway, couple weeks later we all went out into the town again and she was with us. Then quite unexpectedly I ended up pulling this real nice girl. But instead of just flirting I took it further by kissing and togueing this girl in front of the other. My god she was fuming, and guess what??? She stormed out of the club!! Even the bird I pulled mentioned to me that she was getting death stares of the other chick, ha ha ha revenge is sweet!!!

Next day I get a call off the original girl, and she's ranting at me saying stuff like "how could I do the stuff that I did in front of her" and also pointed out the fact that " I only flirted with that guy a couple of weeks ago I didn't kiss him!!" etc...etc. I just told her that whatever she does to me I'll do it back to her but twice as bad!! Well she eventually apologised to me and said that what she did to me and what I did to her made us "quits" (equal).

After all this she said that what I did made her realise how much she liked me beacuse she had never felt so jealous in her life. We then embarked on seeing each other on a reguler basis and the rest they say is history!

I'm not saying that this sort of thing works for everyone. Perhaps I was just lucky but jealousy is a great female emotion to play on! They play on ours...so do it back to them!

Good Luck

Macca

P.S. The bird I pulled on the night lived miles out of town, so it was just a one night thing!

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Longview
Well thats crap advice!!

Why dont you try actaully giving good advice to someone who needs it instead of just being a **** about it all!

What advice would YOU give him?

"Oh, be C&F with her and don't call her for a few days and NEXT her and bang ten other women and blah blah blah?"

I told him that he needs to stop being needy. That's exactly what he should do. He's SO afraid of losing her that he NEEDS her undivided affection 24/7...to the point where he starts going INSANE when another guy hugs her. INSANE!

If he's needy, he goes crazy, comes here, and begs for advice. If he's not needy, he acts based on what he feels is the right thing for him, regardless of anyone else. Meaning if she's cheating, he dumps her. If she's not cheating, he doesn't care when she hugs another man.

This may be the crappiest advice ever, but I'll stick with it because I think it'll make him happy.

The way I see it, I'm giving "good advice" to "someone who needs it" and YOU are the one who's "being a D**K about it all."

 

[Longview]

Originally posted by squirrels
What advice would YOU give him?

"Oh, be C&F with her and don't call her for a few days and NEXT her and bang ten other women and blah blah blah?"

I told him that he needs to stop being needy. That's exactly what he should do. He's SO afraid of losing her that he NEEDS her undivided affection 24/7...to the point where he starts going INSANE when another guy hugs her. INSANE!

If he's needy, he goes crazy, comes here, and begs for advice. If he's not needy, he acts based on what he feels is the right thing for him, regardless of anyone else. Meaning if she's cheating, he dumps her. If she's not cheating, he doesn't care when she hugs another man.

This may be the crappiest advice ever, but I'll stick with it because I think it'll make him happy.

The way I see it, I'm giving "good advice" to "someone who needs it" and YOU are the one who's "being a D**K about it all."

I didnt call you a D**K I called you a C**T

 

[NatureGuy]

I agree with Squirrels. You're too needy, and
this is hurting you. Maybe someone has
some advice on how to reduce the
neediness.

 

[Macca]

Originally posted by Longview
I didnt call you a D**K I called you a C**T

LOL...that makes all the difference!!

 

[Big Pappy]

Advice....good advice.....ok.


After reading your post a second time, I must confess that I would have to see the hug in question before I can offer any sound advice.

I would suggest that you not put all of your eggs into one basket. This does not mean cheat on her; this means continue to flirt with other girls.

Questions that ran through my mind as I put myself in your shoes:

Was it cold?
Did she leave you happy or sad?
Did she see you as she was hugging this other guy?
Why were you talking about "the way things were going"? Generally, I avoid these discussions until I'm reaady for them.

How often are you seeing her?
What are the odds of this bloke being out in the street as your girl leaves to catch a taxi? I think you may have left out some details.

 

[jbbrain]

MY advice?

You're not ready for this chick. Even if she wasn't being "schemy" (and you are the only one to discern if she was), your insecurity and jealousy will drive her away forever. This is why it is so important to work on "yourself" and make sure you really have your shyt together before even thinking of getting into an LTR.

Don't waste your or HER time. Bail out.

And come back much stronger than you were before.

 

[Flak88]

Arrrggghhhhh

 

[Eileen]

Originally posted by essexmatt
she is happy the way things are ...

Of course she is. She's getting everything she wants and not having to lift a finger to get it.

Your best bet is to tell that one to hit the bricks. She doesn't respect you.

(Even I don't like women who treat men like that.)

 

[NewMan]

Fvck this chick.

Listen your being like a little b#tch because she's hot - and your into her.

You've got to play this one like you don't give a fvck.

She's just after a good time, so that what you've got to give her.

Your not going to force her into something that she doesn't want - and that will risk you losing her full time.

So, you've got to get off of her case. You've got to flirt and hit on other women. GO out with other women. Have fun, and stop making this chick everything.

In short get a life.

When you get the chance, hang with this girl. Flirt - kiss get touchy feely - but don't make her your only priority.

Your 21 - have fun - stop being so jealous.

You've got lot's of time and girls out there - go have some fun.