Girls, military, and infidility

[itishe]

I've always wanted to fight in the IDF (Israeli Defense Forces) and perhaps US Navy or Army after that. While I'm not going to let a girlfriend direct what I want to do in life, I'm a bit concerned if I can even have the relationship after I leave.

I like my girl alot and she is crazy about me (as a side note I also took her virginity which may make her more connect to me since I'm her first). But after seeing stuff in the media, movies such as Jarhead, and even hearing stories from friends a few years older than me who come back from the Marines to notice they are no longer in a relationship.

While I'm sure you never hear about the relationships that work and no cheating occurs, I'm still a bit disturbed by this "percieved" truth. Anyone here have experience in this area or have a friend who went off to serve and had a working relationship?

 

[LostAndConfused]

I think as long as the relationship wasn't ruined from the start, you should be fine for a given time. I've had a couple of friends go off to the military after high school (most went the Army and Marines route) and I heard that two of them were in relationships...dunno about the others.

I know when sam came home everything was alright, his girl was patiently waiting. The other dude came back to a broken relationship as apparantly when he would call her they would have alot of arguments on the phone (kinda hinting at maybe she was cheating on him).

After I saw Jarhead my whole perception on women changed though, because I know alot of that stuff must be true and it really shows how women are...especially when the marines saw that p*rno of the marine's wife fücking some other man.

 

[Leporello]

My older brother served in a psychological support unit in Iraq. He said that about half the soldiers hwo came to him were depressed or upset because their wives or girlfriends back home were chetaing on them or had broken up with them. I myself hooked up more than once with a girl whose boyfriend was in the Navy servign in the Arabian Gulf.

Oh yeah, and if you're going to join the IDF, have fun running over babies and cripples with your tank.

 

[itishe]

My older brother served in a psychological support unit in Iraq. He said that about half the soldiers hwo came to him were depressed or upset because their wives or girlfriends back home were chetaing on them or had broken up with them. I myself hooked up more than once with a girl whose boyfriend was in the Navy servign in the Arabian Gulf.

Oh yeah, and if you're going to join the IDF, have fun running over babies and cripples with your tank.

Yeah bro as opposed to suicide bombing civilians? Give me a break.

Back to my topic.

 

[MooseGod]

Let me tell you right now: Don't change your life plans for a girl. If she's the right one, she's going to want you to do what makes you happy. If not, and she cheats on you, then she's not the one. Easy litmus test.

 

[Obsidian]

wow, wise words Moose

 

[DJ1234]

I have to say the same that Jarhead changed my perception about women and going off to fight in the military. Unless you're married (and even then)...

Not all women are like that, but it really depends on your situation and what kind of girl you have. If the two of your are in a commited LTR, and she seems to have constant good behavior and shows no signs on stopping (or cheating), then it could work.
If she's young and attractive, she might be more tempted to cheat, since she sees all of her friends having fun, hooking up with other guys and she is left alone waiting for a guy who is thousands of miles away and for a long time. Guys are hitting on her left and right..
I'm sure if it were in a situation where it was opposite and the girl was the one away, most guys would be tempted to cheat.

 

[oakraiderz2]

My older brother served in a psychological support unit in Iraq. He said that about half the soldiers hwo came to him were depressed or upset because their wives or girlfriends back home were chetaing on them or had broken up with them. I myself hooked up more than once with a girl whose boyfriend was in the Navy servign in the Arabian Gulf.

Oh yeah, and if you're going to join the IDF, have fun running over babies and cripples with your tank.

Congratulations on being an ethical human being. People like you make the world go around.

 

[meitenesrigas]

Yeah bro as opposed to suicide bombing civilians? Give me a break.

Back to my topic.

Do you want me to post video of what the IDF does to Christian Palestinians? I warn you, I will.

 

[penkitten]

you know things could go in so many different directions.
you could be over there fighting for what you believe in, only to have her go astray while you are gone.
you could be over there fighting and somewhere somehow end up in a place where you fall in love with someone else or at least pretend you do for a day.
you could actually have a relationship that works between the two of you no matter where you are.

look back at your grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles. there a so many ww2 and vietnam stories floating around where things went in so many different ways.

be the best man you can be, be true to yourself, know anything can happen before you go in, and keep yourself alive.

to whomever was replying about how bad the war is... i dont like any wars, but especially this one but it isnt the topic of the post here. right now , we have one guy who wants to enter the military for his own beliefs and we shouldnt question them here. we should give him advice on the relationship he is questioning.

 

[aliasguy]

I'm not sure WHY, but women who cheat on their husbands who are overseas fighting p*ss me off SO bad. I normally don't give a sh*t about cheating wives. So what? Who cares?

But when a man is over in a dangerous place, risking his life, and some little skank (who, admittedly, he never should have married) is cutting it up, spending his blood money, partying, and f*cking around, it just REALLY gets to me.

I NEVER mess with those girls. I can't even look them in the face. They make me SICK.

End of rant.

(Those little WH*RES are the WORST!!! OK, NOW it's the end.)

 

[fuse]

I thought I posted this earlier, but I guess not, not used to vbulletin. I registered on this board just to tell you not to have any expectation of maintaining any LTR in the military. Let me give you some background info about me. I have been in the navy for over 5 years and in that relatively short time I have seen ~20 marriages fall apart (I wish I was exaggerating, it's not something you want to go through!) from being separated and from spouses cheating on each other. There is a reason the divorce rate in military is over 90%. You can only expect people to do things that come naturally to them and I am sorry to say that leaving for +6 months and expecting everything to be okay when you get back or for your flesh and blood spouse not to cheat on you during that time is not natural.

As a matter of fact, I had a buddy recently that found out his wife of 2 and a half years was messing around on him the past 2 years while he was gone and she ended up cleaning out his bank account while he was overseas.

I also don't know what your intentions are about being loyal to GF or wife overseas, but it is worth mentioning that in the military when you are overseas you are horny as balls and women just throw that pu$$y out there. It is just a really bad situation to put yourself in.

 

[KontrollerX]

Jarhead was one of the most depressing movies I've ever watched but Born on the Fourth of July is even worse.

Please young guys don't join the military unless you've fully thought through all of the bad sh!t that can happen to you and have accepted that if it happens to you that you'll be alright since you just want to live the military life so much your love for it will more than make up for whatever negatives happen to you along the way as a result of being a part of it.

I agree with aliasguy 100%.

 

[Leporello]

Congratulations on being an ethical human being. People like you make the world go around.

Don't look at me, she only mentioned this trivial piece of information after we'd been screwing for over a month.

Point is, even people in love are human. A girl who would wait a hundred years for you might cheat in the hundred and first.

 

[Pimp101]

IDF... In Defense oF? Man if you ask me, military life sucks...seriously... I almost joined the Canadian Military awhile back thinking I was going to serve my country and follow in the family line. Until I went over to Germany, Korea and Vietnam, those countries that had previously been the 'bad guys'. I met several Korean soldiers who I hung out with in my spare time, really great guys who liked women and video games and their families just as much as I liked mine. The Military is just a glorified group of murderers trying to sell you a lie.

My Grandfather fought in WW2 as a paratrooper. He lost all his brothers and he told me NEVER EVER enter, he said he regretted it because when he got to the battlefield many of them were just kids like him, not monsters like they had everyone believe. And when he spent some time talking to the prisoners he found that he had quite a bit in common with them.

My Father's cousin entered Vietnam with my father and my father's best friend. His best friend lost 2 brothers that went over so he could leave. Now the best friend spends most of his time in Vietnam trying to give back to the people there. He was accidentally sprayed with agent orange severely fvcking him up for life by the same people he was fighting for. My father was able to get out before the **** really hit the fan and both of them went AWOL and ended up in Spain. Anyway a large number of my family and friend's of the family have been through the military and NONE of them recommend it.

If you want to serve your country become a cop, a teacher, a fireman, a farmer or just a father..

And if you REALLY feel the need to join, become a doctor or paramedic.

QTF. I could never understand how people can be against murder and then join the military. How can one kill his brothers and sisters just for being born in another part of the world? I lived in Israel for a few years when I was younger. Thank god my mum moved us out of there or I'd be forced to shoot people right now. I know someone will bring up the point that you're defending your country but really, the military just makes you a thug for the government. If every person did their part and refused to fight there wouldn't be any wars. World peace starts with you, me and every individual alive. I'm doing my part.

 

[Luveno]

To the OP:

Never let a woman get in the way of how you want to live your life.

However, are you really sure you want to be a military man? What are your reasons? It's extremely demanding, and the recruiters never show you the hell that you can(and if you're doing IDF, will) experience.

If you're doing it for pride, be it personal or national or religious, I'd strongly reconsider. Find a more concrete reason.

I know that, personally, my government would have to pay me one billion dollars yearly to even pick up a rifle. For the work that military people do, they get very little recognition and pay.

If you truly want to serve your country and change the world, go into business.

 

[bbestar]

You guys in the military deserve the best. Go to the Philippines, Thailand, Korea and find yourself and loving wife raised the old fashion way.

 

[itishe]

That's really sad what I'm hearing. What kind of world do we live in where a woman who tells you she loves you ends up banging your neighbors while you're out fighting and putting your life on the line?

My mind is no way 100% set on what I wish to do coming up after highschool, but if the girl cheats on you then I guess she wasn't worth your time to begin with then right?

 

[comic_relief]

It matters on the person, sure there is certain people that will cheat, but there is also a lot of people that won't cheat.

My one gal pal that I always hang out with at my local church is in a three year relationship with a guy that has been in a relationship for two and a half of them.

I have also known another guy that had a girlfriend that did cheat. It all matters on the person that you are with.

comic_relief

 

[meitenesrigas]

IDF... In Defense oF? Man if you ask me, military life sucks...seriously... I almost joined the Canadian Military awhile back thinking I was going to serve my country and follow in the family line. Until I went over to Germany, Korea and Vietnam, those countries that had previously been the 'bad guys'. I met several Korean soldiers who I hung out with in my spare time, really great guys who liked women and video games and their families just as much as I liked mine. The Military is just a glorified group of murderers trying to sell you a lie.

My Grandfather fought in WW2 as a paratrooper. He lost all his brothers and he told me NEVER EVER enter, he said he regretted it because when he got to the battlefield many of them were just kids like him, not monsters like they had everyone believe. And when he spent some time talking to the prisoners he found that he had quite a bit in common with them.

My Father's cousin entered Vietnam with my father and my father's best friend. His best friend lost 2 brothers that went over so he could leave. Now the best friend spends most of his time in Vietnam trying to give back to the people there. He was accidentally sprayed with agent orange severely fvcking him up for life by the same people he was fighting for. My father was able to get out before the **** really hit the fan and both of them went AWOL and ended up in Spain. Anyway a large number of my family and friend's of the family have been through the military and NONE of them recommend it.

If you want to serve your country become a cop, a teacher, a fireman, a farmer or just a father..

And if you REALLY feel the need to join, become a doctor or paramedic.

Brilliant post. I will add to it. You want to help your country? Travel outside of it and treat those that you meet with respect and dignity. War is simply a way for the elites to gain more power over the boring dolts that they rule over. My favorite is how people in the military are defending their country's way of life. Look, Germany lost every war they fought in the 20th Century. The Japanese were nuked not once but twice! The last time I checked the standard of living in Japan and Germany was at about the same level as America and Britain and the Germans are still eating sauerkraut while the Japense are still drinking saki.