Girls don't text me first

IBreatheSpears

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A lot of text game examples and tactics like dread game etc. rely on the girl texting first, but girls, even those who seem interested, and even those who've had sex with me, rarely text me first. Girlfriends I've had did text me first, but not girls I've merely dated, even those I slept with or who seemed particularly interested.

I have some theories for why this is:
1. I'm not creating enough attraction
2. I sub-communicate that I don't like texting (I may have explicitly stated it once or twice too, but I can't remember)
3. By chance or a witch's curse, I've exclusively dated girls who don't like texting

Let's assume it's the first. What should I do?
 

No.Danny

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Assume it's #3 and rejoice in jo .
Texting kills attraction faster than anything.
 

Dhoulmagus

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If they are putting out and meeting you at a reasonable manner than I wouldn't care
 

TheCWord

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Dhoulmagus said:
If they are putting out and meeting you at a reasonable manner than I wouldn't care
This is a common drum that gets beat here. Depends what OP wants. Fck buddies? Then he's set. If he wants something more than that with these girls, he's in trouble because they have low interest.

Girls with high interest can't wait to text you. They have to restrain themselves from doing so. They think of stupid reasons to reach out to you.

Again, if all you want is a girl to smash and these women are saying yes to all your dates, then you have an ideal situation. But if you want to know if any of these girls really like you, then soft next them. Go NC until they reach out to you. If they don't, then they only see you as a fck buddy (there are worse things to be).

Anecdotal: I was seeing a girl for like 6 months. God damn she was amazing - as Usher would put it, lady in the streets but a freak in the bed. Any time I texted her to go out, she said yes. We'd have fun dates, bang all night, I'd c*m on her face, we'd wake up in the morning and walk around the market or whatever and she'd hold my hand and act all girlfriendy.

Thing was, she NEVER texted first and NEVER initiated plans. Yet, we were going out for 6 months. I posted on SoSuave about it as it was occuring. I decided to soft next. Two weeks went by - including christmas and new years with not even a merry xmas text - and nothing. I broke NC to invite her out again, as if nothing happened, and guess what? She came over right away and picked up right where we left off.

At the time, I was also seeing another girl who was starting to pressure me into a relationship. I couldn't give her a straight answer until I knew where things stood with my main girl. So the next time main girl was over, I told her that after this amount of time I kinda like to know where things are going, so I asked her what she thought. She said she had no interest in a relationship. Said she was too selfish for one. Okay, no problem, I didn't text her again. She didn't text me. That was that. Sucks to walk away from some of the best sex of my life (edit: top 3, at least), but I like my girls to be crazy about me. This girl came over and fcked me whenever I wanted, but me disappearing from her life had no effect on her whatsoever. I don't care to invest time with a girl like that.
 

handle

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TheCWord said:
Girls with high interest can't wait to text you. They have to restrain themselves from doing so. They think of stupid reasons to reach out to you.
Just gonna toss this out there: I've had girls tell me (after several months or a year even) that tried hard to play it cool and not text so much because I don't text a lot and they didn't want to seem needy. Even though they wanted to be texting constantly.

I'm not saying that what this guy says isn't true, but I am saying try to read the situation. Like, for example, maybe you don't text often but when you do she seems all on-board to have a full-on conversation with you.



Anyway, also a general comment about texting: I know it's become a standard part of how people interact but sometimes it's nice to just call. I avoid texting.
 

Masculinity

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The reasons why these women are not texting you and former girlfriends of yours did is because of investment. Your girlfriend is significantly more invested than you than a new plate you just met. As a result, she knows who you are and who you aren't. She knows your character, personality, humor, and heck, even how attractive you are in general. A woman who doesn't know you, on the other hand, is barely working at feeling comfortable around you.

I think you're trying to run without first taking baby steps and learning to walk.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I don't worry about it. Used to expect to get a text from a girl if she was interested after a date, but that doesn't phase me anymore either, as I've found a lot won't even do this, instead waiting to see if you initiate again, as if they are afraid you are going to reject them if they show interest and you don't reciprocate.

I usually just wait 3 days or so and then reinitiate texting as if nothing had happened. No "I really enjoyed hanging out with you" or anything like that...
I just initiate again and a few texts in tell them we should meet up this week sometime. Most of the time they seem happy to meet up again, so I don't put much stock in their lack of texts, especially after a date.

In fact, I have had several who will usually initiate texting with me, but post date will not text until they hear from me first, then will begin initiating texts again...just don't worry about it...all that matters is if they go out with you and bang you...
 
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