Girlfriends fake attitude. and other guy.

[choychoy12]

Long story short, Been spending too much time with the girlfriend, seeing her on a consistent basis.. Too much time into her space, not enough time for myself.

Problem ==> girlfriend seems abit fake lately, she still smiles at me all the time, and our sex life is very active.

But her voice tone, and the way she talks seems really fake lately, like she's doing these things reluctantly. And she gives me alot of the normal girly.. "Oh yea" and "right" and "Cool" In a sarcastic tone. Really annoys me.

But Anyway, i think my problem is i've been spending too much time with her.

There's also this other guy in her life. and the two of them continue to get along so well. And this guy does alot for her.

My mate says, it doesn't matter, She's your girlfriend, she's with you.
And she doesnt want to be with the other guy, because she doesn't see a relaitnoship with him, and only see's one with you.

And he tells me I should Just treat the other guy, as one of her gay friends. Like look at it in another perspective, which will get rid of that jealous aura around you.

But the thing is, i already expressed that i didnt like her hanign around this guy, and that it bothered me, the way he flirted with her. She told me that they were just friends.

But she called me the other day, and points out that they've been spending time together and that they've been having a good time.

The way i respond to it is, i change the topic and i talk about other things and i continue on as if nothing happened. I've been abit down lately, probrably because I've been spending too much time with her and not doing much.

I still really like this girl, she's definetly quality, good looking, nice personality, and she's caring at times... but this other guy and fake attitude pisses me off.

Advice guys.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

I am not even reading the rest of it.

Just the first sentence son tells me you are an AFC. REad my thread, The Truth: The End. Then reply to me if you have any questions. You must evolve into a don juan, not imitate one.

 

[PVSSY-EATER]

keep living your life is an AFC, and watch, haha, you might commit suicide! and I wouldnt blame ya!

 

[frivolousz21]

well your screwed

but tell her if its so great with him..then go suck his fycking c8ck.

what a hoe..you let her just meet some guy and becomes friends..wat is wrong with you?

get rid of her..she will come begging back.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

This is yout g/f --DDDDAAMMMNNNN!

She is disrespecting you big time - ditch her!!

You are her b/f but she isn't your g/f!! Run!!

Wake up - THE MATRIX has you!!!

Folllow the Puertorican rabbit!!

This other guy is not the problem - she is the problem!!!!!

 

[PimpNHard]

3 words buddy - DITCH THE B!TCH. What did she do for you that let you know she was interested? I can guess one thing: spend time with you. So what message is she relaying when she's spending time with her "gay" friend? Put it together.

 

[chuchu]

I read only half of it then I was like "wtf", then It gets worse.

First,
Spending too much time = No challenge!

(Did you look at the bible?)

Second,
Who would want their girl to hang out with another guys beside them? And talking about having fun with another guy in front of you is disrespectful.

Third
She was just testing out the water and your respond is "uh......wtf..
let me go ask my friend...well he said its okay". Hell no man! it's not okay. The guy have a ****, you cant just treat him like hes gay! The next thing you know, the gay guy is ****ing your gf.

Choy, why the hell does your gf hanging out with another guy in the first place? Could it be she is getting sick of your azz being an afc to her?

Why dont you do the same, go out have fun, spend times with other girls, flirt with them. Get in the field buddy, turn on your game. Your girl is just another bad approach. Lose her now and feel good about your self or get dump later, your choice man.

 

[DJStudent]

Lol I love how you guys jump to such conclusions so quick. Let me ask you guys a question. IF you for some reason, fall in the same position and NEED some real advice other than ditch her, would you like all the your answers to be like just DITCH HER?

The thing is to learn from all your experienec and not run away from it. I don't think this is a situation where you have to automatically leave her just because of things he did. Yes I do agree on ditching the b!tch to a certern degree but that's always and EASY option to excercise.

Ok, so he has identify a few AFC traits and may have more that he hasn't share. That's a good start and we should be HELPFUL in identifying and helping him. Granted he SHOULD of read the bible or constantly update his material with the site but the fact is mistakes have been made and so we should learn from him so we don't suffer ourselves.

Let's go back to the orgins of a DJ. A DJ does not need a woman to complete him. So this girl should not be your full concentration. Meaning if she leaves you in the near future, she's means nothing.

Let's get you back in that mentatility, go back and read the first few post on the bible. Second, we can do some damage control. First think about the whole situaiton. This guy is spending MAJOR time with her, so in the rules of DJism, he is NO CHALLENGE! AFC guys do all this crap thinking that girls will fall in love all the time, and it seems like girls do fall for it, but after like a day without a challenge, they get bored.

Be confident that she NEEDS you to be happy and that this AFC is nothing to compared to you.

Next thing might be counter-intuative but it makes sense after you see it work. Be busy in your life and let other people enter it. Spend less time with her so that she knows that you won't always be there when she wants you to be. Although you're allowing her to spend more time with this dude, the faster you do this, the more bored she will get, and the more she will miss you. Also by allowing people and activitives to enter your life, you allow yourself to be a rare item. When people demand for your time, that's when you know that you're special, and when she sees that she would want it for herself.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Originally posted by choychoy12
But her voice tone, and the way she talks seems really fake lately, like she's doing these things reluctantly. And she gives me alot of the normal girly.. "Oh yea" and "right" and "Cool" In a sarcastic tone. Really annoys me.

did you tell her it annoys you - is she saying it in a disrespectful tone?

There's also this other guy in her life. and the two of them continue to get along so well. And this guy does alot for her.

And he [my friend] tells me I should Just treat the other guy, as one of her gay friends. Like look at it in another perspective, which will get rid of that jealous aura around you.

Bad advice - homo advice

But the thing is, i already expressed that i didnt like her hanign around this guy, and that it bothered me, the way he flirted with her. She told me that they were just friends.

But she called me the other day, and points out that they've been spending time together and that they've been having a good time.

She is rubbing it in your face because she knows she went against your word and you did nothing about it because you like the sex she is giving you and you won't leave!

The way i respond to it is, i change the topic and i talk about other things and i continue on as if nothing happened.

Bad move - the girl disrespected you and you play along?


I still really like this girl, she's definetly quality, good looking, nice personality, and she's caring at times... but this other guy and fake attitude pisses me off.

You like her so much that you don't stand up to her like a man after she disrespected you - you like the pvssy more than your respect and dignity as a man!! Don't be afraid to lose her because you already have!! She is sexing this dude !!

Do some reconnaissance!! He is not the problem - your girl is!!

 

[Reed247]

DUMB A** WAKE UP

IF MY GIRLFRIEND EVEN HINTED SHE WAS SPENDING TIME WITH ANOTHER GUY I WOULD TELL HER "WELL WHY DONT YOU DATE HIM INSTEAD SINCE THATS ALL YOU TALK ABOUT".
AND DITCH HER. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?
MY GF IS A PIECE OF GARBAGE BUT SHE NEVER TALKS ABOUT OTHER GUYS (PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE CHEATS ON ME) BUT THIS GIRL SOUNDS LIKE AN IDIOT AND A CHEATER.

 

[b's nuts]

just leave her. im serious, even if you haven't been being afc, spending to much time with her makes you to available which lowers her IL in you.

This just happened to me and i found my ***** of a x-girl ***** of a girl friend cheated on me with the AFC that was pulling these same moves a few months ago, and when she decided he was no good came back and was ****ing me since.

Well this mother fvcking AFC who happened to be a fake ass b*tch of friend tried rubbing in his x-girl's face about sleeping with my girl. Luckily she was a friend of mine and called me and filled me in. I dumped her on the spot, told her what a peice of fvcking sh*t she was and told her to get the fvck out of my house. The b*tch proceeded to trash my house cuz i wouldn't take her back, and then tried a last desperate attempt of throwing her self at me, to wich i said "that turned out snatch isn't going to save you this time."

Get out now if she doesn't want to satisfy you. I had told her i didn't want her hanging with my guy friend, we even had arguements about it but in the end she convinced me they were only friends, and i decided i didn't want to be jealous - which ate me up inside until i told her to open up her wallet and took the cash she had on her towards the 70 dollars she owed me.

That isn't jealousy your feeling, its gut instinct telling you somethings wrong, but we decided to label it and not listen to it because we no longer have to rely on our instincts to survive.

I know im not a jealous person unless there is cause. Don't lie to yourself and don't sell your self short. Get rid of her, i wish i had mine the first time i broke up with her, but now ive been played.

save your self and skip the bull sh*t i just went through.

 

[Avsguy01]

I really think this all depends on the the true situation. If the girl has delibertely been spending time with this other guy, while maybe, lets say, youve had plans made with her already and she goes off and spends time with this guy and turns around and rubs it in your face then i would let her know that you arent down with that. Its a definate form of disrespect. Then what you do is turn around and look away and have her crawl back if she really loves you and wants to be with you. If the situation isnt quite that bad then chill man. Some of you guys on here are being real AFC *****es. If your girl has friends she can hang out with them. Yes, even if they are guys. Theres been a few times that ive been busy and my girl went and hung out with some of her guy friends after she told me that she was doing that which i okayed, then she would tell me all about the time she had. In that case it wasnt disrespectful. Trust and confidence is the sure way to keep a girl. Without that you look like an insecure floor mat.

 

[JT47319]

Just because a girl doesn't want a "relationship" with a guy doesn't mean she doesn't want to fu.ck him.

It's a HUGE AFC myth that girls need to be "in love" or other claptrap in order to "be" with a guy. Girls love having cuddle and hook up buddies.

Don't know if that's the case in your situation, but it sounds like your self-esteem and confidence is tied up in her approval. Get over it.

 

[flyinshark]

Let's see this in a different light. I think it's not the girl's fault. Mr. choychoy12 said he has been spending way too much time with his girl. In return, she lost interest, because he seemed too needy and dependent on her. So it's choychoy12's fault first!

Maybe now she is kissing the other guy, but maybe not. My point is that this should be an alarm for choychoy12, and he should take action. Not by dumping his girl. But by seeing her less often. Two, three times a week should be sufficient. Not more. Then, she'll want him more and stop spending time with the other dude. She'll make more time for choychoy12 and their relationship could keep going in a healthy way.

Why dump so fast, accusing the girl immediately? Can't a guy recognize and admit that HE was wrong? When we make mistakes (spending too much time with gf), we should learn from them and try to improve our game. It's a test for choychoy12. He should try to get his girl back, and show how great a DJ he is.

Dumping right away is like running away as soon as the problem arises. I see that as AFC and cowardish. Don't get me wrong, if you have proof that your girl has been cheating or she does something inexcusable, then i totally agree with dumping the hor.

flyinshark

 

[b's nuts]

Originally posted by flyinshark

Dumping right away is like running away as soon as the problem arises. I see that as AFC and cowardish.

He told us she has a fake and flakey attitude, that right there should be enough to get rid of her. I can't stand fake people, and the only reason someone acts fake is trying to impress to hard or decieve. She obviously isn't trying to impress.

Pac always says it best:
"I can't stand fake ass b*tches, lyin ass niggas and ya punk ass snitches."

 

[Trance]

Dont dump her (for now).

U let things get to a point where u seem weak, but there's still hope!
1st thing: She CANT be spending a lot of time with another guy and THROWING in your face that she has a great time with him!! This is 500% disrespect!!
Next time she mentions this, be firm, not agressive but FIRM:
"U are still hanging out with this guy? You think its normal spending so much time with a guy when you are in a relation? What the hell do you want from this?!"

If she flakes, start going out with other girls too, dont even need to mention this to her, just be busy (having fun with friends, and girls too), and consequently having less time for her, and making her realize and open the game with you.

 

[choychoy12]

Hey guys thanks for the advice.

Yes i totally agree i think dumping her is an easy way out which isn't what i'm going to take.

I do realize that i've been spending too much time with her which was the problem.

We've had problems before and at one point i was ready to dump her, at the time she said she didn't want to break up.

Everything went well after that, she was with me more than ever.

This is where I identify the problem. I got too comfortable with everything going well.
I started getting into automatic pilot mode, like seeing her too much, not working on myself, just cruising along and riding it. I'd say falling into deep emotionally.

Once the disrepect started happening, like she started hanging with this other guy, behind my back, i let it pass a few times.

But now I've realized that it was my fault to begin with, but I'm also at the point where I'm not going to take anymore disrespect and if it continues to happen, I'm just going to dump her.

What i realized was, I kept limiting myself into thinking that there werent any other girls out there. And that she was top quality. But what i realized was when I was also seeing other girls there was no evidence of afc ness or neediness. And during that time she liked me more than ever.

I think I've made this post abit one sided. made it seem like she's lost interest.
SO to fix things up there were times when I was with her, and told her i didnt like what she was doing with this other guy. And she told me, that I was the only one for her, and that she'd never do anythign with him.

He is pretty unattractive. And he gets really repetitive...
I cant do anything to tell her to stop hanging around the guy, because he tries to make friends with me, and we've hung out a few times, but it still pisses me off! When she spends time with him and calls and messages him instead of me.

All i have to do is get over the fact that there friends. And limit myself from seeing her soo much.

What do you guys think?

 

[tmpgstx]

It's up to YOU to fix things? This should tell you right there that her interest level isn't on par.

She IS spending alot of time, and YOU think he is unattractive or did she say this (or did she say it to make you feel better)?

Bottom line Dawg, she's spending as much or more time with another guy - even giving him precedence over yourself. Not good. Start rethinking your strategy here from appeasement to concessions.

 

[Rockadeimis]

------------------------
He is pretty unattractive. And he gets really repetitive...
I cant do anything to tell her to stop hanging around the guy, because he tries to make friends with me, and we've hung out a few times, but it still pisses me off! When she spends time with him and calls and messages him instead of me.

All i have to do is get over the fact that there friends. And limit myself from seeing her soo much.

What do you guys think?
-------------------------

I think some people have to learn the hard way. And his attractiveness isn't important...what's important is her attention and interest in someone other than you.

 

[flyinshark]

Dudes, a woman's interest level cannot and will not skyrocket on its own! Adjusting your game in order to make her IL go up is not such an awful thing to do.

I agree you shouldn't change for a woman when you are in a short term relationship. But this is a LTR! In a long term relationship both partners have to make compromises and go a bit out of their own way in order to please the other one. Otherwise they are selfish and irrealistic in thinking that their woman will keep their IL high without any sort of effort from their part.

There is no magical recipee to keep a woman interested. We may have certain strategies in order to achieve that (such as being a challenge, not calling so often, etc), but if we notice that a particular strategy doesn't work, it makes sense that we have to change it or adjust it in order to achieve our goal and keep our woman (if we are really into her and want to stay with her).

choychoy12, see her less often and normally she will make more time for u and less for the other guy. However, if u see that things get worse, tell her that she should go out with the other guy if she likes spending so much time with him. Make her understand that you are willing to let her go (break up with her), and notice her reaction

Eight times outta 10 the woman becomes desperate and wants to stay with you, cries, tells you she loves you, and so on. Basically, good stuff for you. Don't believe all of it though, since it's probably not all true, but i can bet that her IL will be way higher than it was. Afterwards, it's up to you to keep her IL high by applying what u have learned from this thread.

Those are MY thoughts. Listen to what other people tell you though, as there's truth in many of the other posts.