Girlfriend kisses other guy on the cheek... (reason to Next her or no?)

[Healer]

Ok last night I let this chick im seeing go out to meet a guy friend of hers who she once had sex with a year ago. She swears they are only friends now. but she told me a story about last night thats kinda iffy. let me know what you think.

She said he was telling her how hes much more mature now and would be really good to her and stuff like that. She claims that he came back too late because she's with me now (not bad). Then at the end of the night they hug, he kisses her on the neck and she kisses him back on the cheek. (tho when I questioned her if she was sure it wasnt on the lips she hesitated and kinda had a sly smile and tone in her voice)

She wants to go see him again tonight at the club, just "as friends".

Now would I be a retard to let her go there with out me? or would I be wasting my time If I bothered to go and disarm this potential ****blocker. Or should I just next her.

 

[DIESEL]

Did you see them kiss?

How long have you been going out?

I am inclined to not flip out over that kind of shyt, as a lot of girls do that to friends... in short, if you didn't see it, you'll have to trust her..so for now, NEXTing would be jumping the gun and over-reacting.. making you look like a chump.

With that in mind, I'd let her go to the club alone (if that was the original plan) ... think of it as a "trust" test, and you'll gain mad bonus points b/c you're not coming off as a jealous, insecure little biotch... keep your concerns to yourself and look for clearer red flags.. if a girl is cheating on you, trust me your gut will definitely start telling you... her behavior post-cheat hook up will clue you in.

What you can do is not call her tomorrow, and let her initiate the next contact - if she digs you, she'll probably call to explain... unless she's a total dumbass or attention ho.. she'll know that this does not look good, at least from your point of view, again this strategy all depends on how long you two have been going out..

good luck and above always be cool.. DJs know there's always another ho to bang.

D

 

[NewMan]

Let her go - what good will it do to tell her you don't want her to go?

If she likes this guy, or wants him back, she'll do it behind your back if she has to.

Diesel is right, if something happens you'll pick up on that, and at least you'll come out the winner.

If he makes moves on her - and she is really done with him, you'll get big bonuses and she'll tell you about it. At that point you can tell her, that you'd be cool with her seeing him if he was repectful of you, but now that is obviously is not, you'd rather she didn't.

Good job on this.

 

[Healer]

Ok we've been seeing eachother for about a month and a half now, and having sex and sleeping over on a regular basis. In fact, this past week I've been sexing her atleast 3 - 5 times daily. She also has said that I've made her come alot and it has been the best and most intense sex she has had in a while..

Big ego boost to me there.

Anyways, I just got off the phone with her again and I told her that If she respects our relationship then she would naturally invite me along to meet her friend. Her responce was, "Does it have to be tonight?".

Another thing is that I know her well enough that she will think I dont care about her If I let her go alone. Does this make her crazy? like an Attention *****?

Oh and she doesnt trust me at all in any way. Like she's always questioning me about if I went to meet this chick at the store in the mall or that chick from the library, and stuff. I give her no reason to question me either. So I think If she cant trust me then can I really trust her?

 

[DIESEL]

Originally posted by Healer
Ok we've been seeing eachother for about a month and a half now, and having sex and sleeping over on a regular basis. In fact, this past week I've been sexing her atleast 3 - 5 times daily. She also has said that I've made her come alot and it has been the best and most intense sex she has had in a while..

Big ego boost to me there.

you haven't been going out long enough for you to flipping out like this... it's kind of AFC.. just let the biotch play herself out.

Anyways, I just got off the phone with her again and I told her that If she respects our relationship then she would naturally invite me along to meet her friend. Her responce was, "Does it have to be tonight?".

Your actions here were bad.... can you get any more supplicating AFC??... "oh please, can I come along, please, please? (what she hears - I'm insecure and kind of lame - and I know I'm not going to have any fun b/c you're going to be all uptight and watching me like a hawk! )

Just let the biotch go... if she's going to cheat on you, she's going to cheat on you... but right now you're condemning her before she has actually done it. Chill out, and like I said let the biotch play herself.

Another thing is that I know her well enough that she will think I dont care about her If I let her go alone. Does this make her crazy? like an Attention *****?

Yes, attention ho, emotionally manipulative, and kind of immature to boot. All the more reason not to tag along.

Just don't call her til she calls you. Period.

D

 

[simplyme]

A kiss on the cheek is nothing. It is just friendship. I do that all the time and it means nothing and I never saw someone misunderstanding that.
You do not care about her because you are not jealous?? I cannot imagine her thinking that.

 

[Healer]

Ok well I took your advice. We talked on the phone again and I said that I was being retarded and I just want her to go out tonight and have fun, and that Im gonna go out with the guys.

Right away she was like, "Why, did you find another date? is that why your ok with me going with out you."

I was like, "NO. thats not it, I just realized I should fvcking grow up and show some trust."

She, "Well you cant do this, first you tell me one thing then you tell me another, and now you've got another date so you want to be the big man and tell me its ok to go alone, fcuk that."

Im, "No fcuking way, I was gonna call up the boys and hit the bar. I just letting you know that I trust you to go out and have a good time without me."

She was all, "No, you found another date and you dont need me tonight. Im going to come and pick you up after work."

Im like, "How could you tell." (I did nothing like call another girl up yet, was going to tho)

Shes all, "I know you, thats how you work. I dont like these games, when are you going to mature, blah blah blah." (I tune her out)

Me, "Well Go and have fun with your friend to night and Ill talk to you tomorrow."

Her, "No, I dont want to anymore, Im coming to pick you up. Lets go out to a different club together."


WHOLLY FCUK.. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF!!!!
Why have I gone totally AFC as soon as I talk with this chick. Is it cause she boosts my ego so high?

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Bottom Line Factor: If a chick wants to cheat on you their aint jack **** you can do to stop her so don't even try.

 

[Canadianpimpology]

-Attention ho.
-Potential cheater.
-No trust in you.

Conclusion: drop her. You've been with her a month and a half man, and from what I see, it's a mostly sexual relationship.

OR

Decline her request, and go out with your boys or have them come over. Make her trust you. Don't flip out in the end if she's cheatin on you.

 

[JustDoItAlways]

She's all set to go out and fvck the Ex / guy friend and leave you alone at home and then suddenly its just you and her at a different club.

Its amazing how jealousy and fear of loss is such a HUGE motivational factor for women.

Take note.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by Healer
Ok well I took your advice. We talked on the phone again and I said that I was being retarded and I just want her to go out tonight and have fun, and that Im gonna go out with the guys.

Right away she was like, "Why, did you find another date? is that why your ok with me going with out you."

I was like, "NO. thats not it, I just realized I should fvcking grow up and show some trust."

She, "Well you cant do this, first you tell me one thing then you tell me another, and now you've got another date so you want to be the big man and tell me its ok to go alone, fcuk that."

Im, "No fcuking way, I was gonna call up the boys and hit the bar. I just letting you know that I trust you to go out and have a good time without me."

She was all, "No, you found another date and you dont need me tonight. Im going to come and pick you up after work."

Im like, "How could you tell." (I did nothing like call another girl up yet, was going to tho)

Shes all, "I know you, thats how you work. I dont like these games, when are you going to mature, blah blah blah." (I tune her out)

Me, "Well Go and have fun with your friend to night and Ill talk to you tomorrow."

Her, "No, I dont want to anymore, Im coming to pick you up. Lets go out to a different club together."


WHOLLY FCUK.. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF!!!!
Why have I gone totally AFC as soon as I talk with this chick. Is it cause she boosts my ego so high?

Don't quit now! You've got her sweating. I'd milk this for all it's worth!

Just don't push it TOO far...she might be LOOKING for a reason to cheat.

 

[technickel]

Wow, lots of drama dude.
I don't know about you, but I can't handle that much drama.
Take some time and ask yourself if all the arguing and immaturity are really worth it. It sounds to me like you would have had a better time hanging out with whatever other girl you were going to call. Think about it.

Situation 1 you go out with her:
-Dinner was nice, but she is suspicious you are checking out 5 of the girls in the restraunt and questions you on why you left such a big tip for the waitress.
-You go to the club/bar. You bump into an old girl friend you haven't talked to in a while so you decide to talk with her. Your girl will probably try and spill her drink on this old friend. There will be a scene.
Bottomline:
You're going to ride out the night not having fun, then have sex, go to sleep and wake up wishing you were back at home because she's already awake and getting ready to cut off your jimmy.

Situation 2 you go out with some other girl:
-You could catch up on old times
- You might get some play with someone you haven't had in a while
-You'll be more relaxed
-She probably won't embarras you like this other chick
-You're just going to have a lot better time

Your choice.

 

[Big Boi]

hmm...

she plannin on ****in him tonite...sorry..."does it have to be tonite" haha...do what u want, but she gon **** him

 

[Big Boi]

hmm...

oh nevamind u got her on ur nuts now...tru tru

 

[myfriendblu]

How old are you?

How old is the girl?

I need some more info....How does she rate on the 1-10 scale....Is her ex an AFC? DJ? Is she an attention whor e? etc...etc...

 

[CLOONEY]

DUDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, wake up and smell the roses,she is an attention *****. Seriously, he kisses her on the neck, what the hell!! Seriously, man and then she says "does it have to be tonight" u go with her to meet him. She wants his attention, and just maybe something will happen. I dont care who tells u to follow what rules. Tell her she is not seeing this dude, if she loves u enough she will stop. Man or just dump her a*s, she seems more trouble than good.

Good luck and make sure u tell us the updates, good or bad.....

 

[Cremasta]

Healer, why the hell are you beating yourself up about your last conversation???

I would say you couldn't have done better if you tried, looks to me as if you found out which buttons to push beautifully. She was set to go out with the other guy and by the end of the convo you were almost fighting to keep her away! Played her like a fiddle...

Unless of course you were really were looking forward to going out with your mates...

 

[anakin]

Wow - what a thread, good advice guys.

Do you have an update?? Did she try (and/or succeed) in picking you up last night?? IMO, from the phone call, under NO circumstances should you have gone with her after telling her to have a good night ... whatever, keep your phone switched off having made clear "have fun and have a good night". And DIESEL's advice was spot on esp. since you've only been out for 6 weeks.

It's funny how she's trying to turn the tables on YOU and blaming YOU for suddenly not coming ...lol... what a way to take attention away from her side of things!! I mean, one minute she doesn't want you along ... and then she changes her tune and really WANTS you to come?? Attention wh0re sounds right...she want's to see the two of you together and play her little games.

Dude, I really hope you never went last night. Once you make a decision like that not to go out - you stand by it. When you are communicating with her, try to have more of a backbone. You are the man. That doesn't mean screaming, but being assertive, getting your point across and that's it. End of discussion. This'll be a good learning experience for you ... make sure you follow the advice (without dumping her yet.. you can learn a lot) but this girl isn't LTR material.

Also, from what she said on the phone re: 'her confidence in picking you up tonight and you can just cancel your plans for the night'... it leads me to think that you have been too much of the nice guy in this relationship and she is wearing the trousers. You have to work on that aspect ... she has the control and she is feeding off your high interest in the way she appears to be making decisions for you. Let her do what SHE wants bro, but you do what YOU want!

Looking forward to hearing an update,

anakin.

P.S. CLOONEY - how are ya?? I have to disagree with what you say - 6 weeks is kinda early. If she's going to cheat, let her - the sooner the better! If Healer tries to be too clingy, she will ultimately despise him...and if he tells her "you are not seeing this dude" he is coming off as very clingy at this stage of the relationship.

 

[dionysius_d]

Are you emotionally attached to her, or is she just another girl and sex ??

Personally I could not be with a girl who sees the need to go out with an ex (who she's had sex with!!!).. why does she need to?

Just remember, when you have sex with someone, you leave an imprint on them.. there will always be something there.

If you are just having a casual relationship then its no problem.. however, by your tone, you are attached to her..

in that case, I would save my time and energy for someone else.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

ok, I've not read the whole of this thread, and I'm ignoring the fact that this guy is an ex and so on..

in my experience though a kiss on the cheek means absoloutely nothing, pretty much every girl I've ever known as a friend I've kissed on the cheek multiple times, its what girls do.. its the typical way we say goodbye at the end of a night out.. don't get so stressed about it..