Girlfriend is a little needy

[Lion]

We have decided to agree to disagree....

My Girlfriend is a wonderful person. She loves me very much and I love her very much. We are both 25 and have been together for 3 years.

We share many of the same ideas and values.

We have some differences.

She tells me she wants to settle down, share a place together and eventually get married and have kids.

I am not ready to settle down at least not for a few years.

She has said she is "greedy" wanting more of me.
More commitment, more "I love you", more texts, too see me more often.

I enjoy our time together but I also enjoy time alone. I am quite happy to do things on my own. I am an only child.

She worries about spending time on her own and is very extrovert - she gains confidence and assurance from others.

I am internally confident, and so is she but I don't think she realises how to be confident for the majority of the time.

Her neediness carries potential to push me away. My lack of "neediness" makes her concerned about our future. She wants to feel needed and loved.


We have decided that this means we are not right for each other at present.

What can I do to help her?

Your reply is much appreciated.

 

[Adonis PUA Trainer]

Common problem

 

[todays_news]

well do you love her? if yes, then you have to come to a compromise surely?
25 seems early tbh, but plenty of people do I guess!

My cousin had the same problem, except it was her boyfriend of 3 years that wanted to be settling down. she said she started to see him as a best friend, which meant her interest level must have plummetted.

you need to explain to the woman, in a nice way what you think of the situation, you dont necessarily need to break up. but by the sounds of things you should reassure her that you really do care, but sending texts etc. isn't your way of doing things.

By the sounds of things, you dont seem that fussed about it? Do you already live with her, because that should be used as a test before getting married and having kids? You should be asking yourself the question, of whether or not this important to you enough?

 

[kingsam]

needy girls = not good for you

 

[Kailex]

I really hate to do this Lion... but you've been posting the SAME question about the SAME girl for over a year.

Anyone who is interested, can go ahead to his post history.

I know I did because the story seemed SO FAMILIAR.

Now, don't take this as me ragging on you or me trying to publicly humiliate you. But what does the fact that you've posted the same question about the same girl for at least a YEAR now, lead you to believe you should do?
I had a little time on my hands and I saw that your earliest post about her came at around 18 months into the relationship? At least that's as far back as I had time to go.

Apparently a year ago you had the same issue and stuck through with it.
Granted, you really didn't get many replies from what I could see...

Let me give you my POV:

If she wants to settle and you don't, you have 3 options:

(1) Tell her the truth about how you feel.
(2) Let her go.
(3) Keep leading her on and say nothing.

If you've been posting this stuff for over a year, it means you've either done #1 or #3. But YOU need to make a decision soon, because if you don't... she will. And we all know that we'd much rather be the dumper than the dumpee.

And why do I bring up your posting history?
Because it's important to do so. If you've been asking SoSuave for a year about what you should do, then it means that she has probably had doubts as well for the last year and has talked to family and friends about you and what she should do with the situation.

Personally, 25 is too young to get married... so I'll take your stance on not wanting to get settled down, but to keep her attached to your hip simply because you might not want to be alone, is unfair to her. She has expectations and if you don't meet those soon, she will find someone else who will. And then we'll see you posting a few weeks later... bitter, because she was "amazing" and you two "loved each other so much". And then you'll ask us how to get her back and that you realized she is the "one".

Do you really want to go through with that?

Now my question is why are you asking: How do I help her?
You make it sound like she has some sort of illness... as if she had a "problem"?

So far the only problem I see with her is that she knows what she wants and that her desires and wishes don't match yours. It might be an LTR, but if you two aren't on the same page, it's not worth it.

Stop wasting her time and stop wasting YOUR time (most of all).

You either settle or you don't, but quit playing the middle ground before it can get any worse.

 

[kingsam]

I really hate to do this Lion... but you've been posting the SAME question about the SAME girl for over a year.

Anyone who is interested, can go ahead to his post history.

no worries we will take your word for it!