Girlfriend ignoring messages / acting distant

[Confusedneedhelp]

UPDATE:

She just texted me. Saying she beyond pissed off, because I called her a B*T*H yesterday for not doing something I said.

Said she is utmost pissed off at me, and tells me "Today is not your night, do not annoy me I will flip the **** out."

"You make my life miserable"

She was at work, 10 min break,so instantly had to leave, quickly says bye and leaves. Although she did pick up my call.

I am still going for the NC. Just wondering, what if she texts me when she gets home, respond or go NC NOW?

 

[Comatozed]

no contact for at least a week. see how she responds

 

[Shivastorm_88]

Your relationship didn't seem very healthy from the way you are describing things, but... Every thought of, oh I don't know... Act like a man and actually have a. Um what's the word I'm looking for.

oh, right... Discussion with her?

No texts, no phones. Face to face. And stop sending 500 texts a day, that's plain creepy.

 

[cola]

Guy, compose yourself. Find another female, spend time with her. Don't go ghost that's terrible generic advice that gets said on reflex on this forum. Instead I advocate distance. No more INITIATING texts. Reply with brevity, concise and to the point no fluff.
Once she senses she's losing you she'll come around. Another guy in the picture it doesn't matter. She'll be back. Trust me
Tone down the texting and **** not just now but the rest of the relationship

 

[Confusedneedhelp]

Your relationship didn't seem very healthy from the way you are describing things, but... Every thought of, oh I don't know... Act like a man and actually have a. Um what's the word I'm looking for.

oh, right... Discussion with her?

No texts, no phones. Face to face. And stop sending 500 texts a day, that's plain creepy.

Well obviously you cant say it wasn't healthy; you can't judge a 3 and a half year relationship based off of several hundred words on a forum. It's been very healthy, we never had NC's longer than 2 days once a year (all initiated by me, and she would always re-initiate contact).

How is 500 txts by me and her, actually talking to each other all lovey dovey, creepy? What the hell? lollll

I know I have to talk to her face to face, and we were gonna meet Tuesday (proposed by her), but on the morning of the meeting she said she rather not meet because she wasn't feeling well and that weather was bad (the weather was COLD, snow/rain/sleet that day). We usually meet for 8-10hours a week, usually put aside a full day for each other.

 

[Confusedneedhelp]

Guy, compose yourself. Find another female, spend time with her. Don't go ghost that's terrible generic advice that gets said on reflex on this forum. Instead I advocate distance. No more INITIATING texts. Reply with brevity, concise and to the point no fluff.
Once she senses she's losing you she'll come around. Another guy in the picture it doesn't matter. She'll be back. Trust me
Tone down the texting and **** not just now but the rest of the relationship

Yeah, by ghost I meant I would stop sending texts first and no more of multi messages. More like a only write when she writes, and stay ghost when she doesn't write.

Got finals, job and other social things to keep me pretty busy meanwhile.

 

[sodbuster]

Sh1t 500 texts a DAY? I have a phucking life. Call me and talk for 10 minutes and we can cover all that in a tenth the time....

IF she doesn't want to talk, fine give her all the space she wants....or more. But then, I'm too old to play games with ANYONE....

 

[Confusedneedhelp]

Sh1t 500 texts a DAY? I have a phucking life. Call me and talk for 10 minutes and we can cover all that in a tenth the time....

IF she doesn't want to talk, fine give her all the space she wants....or more. But then, I'm too old to play games with ANYONE....

500 total.
200 from me , 300+ from her.

That's including small stuff like hey, or spell corrections* etc

 

[redbaron5]

There is nothing that you can do to salvage this. This is what Women do, as the sun rises and sets this is a play that repeats itself over and over. She has emotionally detached from you. there is another guy, personal problems, growing pains, drugs, whatever, does it matter? She is sending you a clear message, listen to her, she has no interest in you anymore. The past you share with her is irrelevant, the women you once knew that loved you/hung on your every word is dead/gone. This is Human nature, learn it, embrace it, and do not fall into the bull**** which is a waste of time for you.

Your next girlfriends name should be ... Ferrari, dressed in red.
Do what you deserve for YOU.
Love yourself, be your best friend.

 

[spax]

lol at 500 messages a day. beyond beta. ultimate AFC

 

[Skyline]

Some of her messages are :

"I'm tired, just got off! Give me time"
"Give me some space please!"
"I am tired, don't fkin disturb me".
"I gotta sleep, stop fking texting me"

She never used the f word in 3 years.[/COLOR]

What is she telling you? To give her space, so do it. Whether or not she's actually cheating or if someone is giving her "advice" is beyond anyone but you won't know until you give her space. It's generic and simple but going Ghost is your best option right now, ghost means to only initiate when SHE initiates.

Oh yeah, no more of that 200+ texting... After like 3 texts tell her that you're busy and that you will talk to her later. Try and limit yourself to like 10 texts a day. This girl is has already showed an abnormal amount of interest so reciprocating that interest right back doesn't seem like a good idea. Women generally like the chase but yours seems to like it a lot...

 

[GS750]

take the advice here. she pulls back 10 feet, you pull back a mile.

 

[nismo-4]

take the advice here. she pulls back 10 feet, you pull back a mile.

She'll come around if there's interest. Likely this princess is in another castle. Call "going ghost" generic advice, but it's the best thing for you to do OP. If there is a better guy she has her eyes on, don't chase. Unless you want to be demoted to beta orbiter.

I'd erase and replace if I found myself in this situation. You should always have extra numbers in your phone. I do. Always.

A woman breaks up mentally way before initiating the breakup with you.

Case closed.

 

[GS750]

Yeah pretty much. If you sense an impending breakup...dump her ass FIRST. Hamster nuke.

 

[.Bing.]

Get out of this before she gets rid of you, her actions show it will happen soon.

 

[Poop1337]

Snap out of this beta "she's the girl I'm going to marry" mindset. It's over you had 3 long years most of us only ever get a good 1 year if even that. Fact is you get married to a girl they can change on you just like this. You've always got to have the single mans mindset. Don't give her some big speech about how you're taking a break. You were so silly to send 16 messages unreplied to some one I don't care if that person is your mother it's crazy. Be cold to her, keep having sex with her if the sex is available, but you gotta start looking for other girls. Go NC if she's not having sex with you anymore. She might be cheating or just thinking about dumping you.

 

[zorg198]

Brother.

From what i am reading i can tell you this is the same thing happend to me with my ex girlfrind! we stopped having sex , she ignored my text , i started to get clingy and send a lot of text , she told me talking to me is misrable. same pattern. when a girlfriend start to curse you she lost her respect for you!!! if you don't understand this you are blind because your love for her. go distant, give her space, change the normal things you do! stay busy , there is another guy !

if you will continue like this she's gone.

Joe.

 

[MtnMan]

You've gotten good advice thus far. Personally, I would dump her right now. She is essentially dumping you in a common backhanded, pansy-@ss female way.

Here is what she is doing:
-going distant from you
-abruptly changing the way she treats you
-continuing to ignore you
-waiting for you to flip out so she can get mad at you and the break up is your fault

You might be able to salvage a last hurrah from her if you go ghost on her, but I think the writing is on the wall.

Take this chance to meet new women and sharpen your game. She is disrespecting you and playing you for a fool right now.

 

[dasein]

Disagree with going ghost, that's what you do 3-6 months in when you have no years of time invested to at least inquire into. As long as you two have been together, and as much time as you have invested, sit down face to face and ask her what's up. Ask her -directly- if there is someone else, and ask her directly to explain the change in contact pattern. Keep this talk short, under an hour, don't bring it up again, don't let it drag into days of drama which they feed on and it sucks you dry,then make your decision. Never show anger, pout, or any of the other things that GIRLS do unless she does something demonstratively wrong. Not returning your texts or not texting until midday is not demonstratively wrong.

For all you know this girl is just growing out of 500 texts a day. Everyone who is maturing will eventually, it's not adult behavior. People with things to do in life don't do that.

Next goround cut all texts until there is an exclusive relationship in place, then very very sparingly. Be proactive on the phone, be the one who calls, give them 5 minutes then out. Never get into "good morning, good night" contact routines. Texts are for kids with no life. Don't be that any more. There is always something better to do with your time than be planted to a phone in insipid back and forth tethering behavior. Spend the time exercising, doing an outdoor thing, learning a trade or skill, language, anything other than being a phone pod like the herd of sheeple. Good luck.

 

[Dreesy]

This thing seems like it's doomed from the start - building a relationship on such co-dependent, constant conversation.

When you communicate so often with someone, you create a dependance, and when that communication stops (even if it's just for an hour or two), what ends up happening is a SEPARATION ANXIETY response. Similar what will happen if you communicate with your mother every day after you move out.