Girlfriend has had sex with 12 guys before me

[paradox/paradine]

I seriously need help/advice on this topic, first off my now present girlfriend had a crush on me when we first started talking because her and I had took a class together but we didn't talk to each other i the class and we started to talk months after only because her friend sorta knew me and that is how I got to meet her. When we first started talking I admired her for being a strong and fierce female, she stuck out to me as a girl who wouldn't take bull**** from anyone which I liked cause not all females tend to be like that. She admitted to having a crush on me and things picked up from there and we started dating, the first few months of the relationship was fun and exciting because i had previously taken a hiatus off of relationships because of the stress level in my life. I felt safe and not bored around her like i usually get with other girls and she seemed so sweet that i had to tell her that I was promiscuous and was the cheating type before and never serious i all my relationships but with her I was willing to try to not be like that.

So then we would talk about the experiences we had prior upon meeting each other and it shocked me when she told me she had sex with 12 guys because I didn't expect that from her and I had been mostly with virgins before. The first guy she lost her virginity to was when she was 18 and she said the guy treated her with compassion but he was only in the neighbourhood for a couple months and she had sex with him a few days before he left to go back and he promised he would call which he did but the messages she was receiving from him were now becoming less and less and when she told her mom she lost her virginity her mom got furious ad threatened to kick her out of the house cause her mom told her she raised her better than that. The second guy i really hate because he was the one that messed her up and telling her things that if she left her he would hurt her family and no other guy would be able to please her like he did and he asked her to be his girlfriend and she said yes and when other people would ask him if they are an item he would deny, they went out for three years, he was the biggest scum of them all and i shocked me that she stayed so long with him, the third guy was the second guy's cousin and my girlfriend said she got a text from this guy, went to his house and one thing lead to another, they had sex 3 times, the 3rd time being she said he raped him because after they had sex twice she stopped talking to him and one they he showed up where she was in a van with her friend and her friend boyfriend and he showed up and got on top of her and she started to cry then he realized and quickly got off and apologized.

The fourth guy got her pregnant and abandoned her when he messaged him about prompting her to get an abortion, the fifth guy was when she was in a summer program and he told her she would ask her out when the time was right and she said he didn't asked for but she had the mentality to have sex before getting into a relationship to see how it would be like before entering the relationship and she ended things with him because he had a baby with another girl, the sixth, and seventh guys were fb which she didn't want but her friends persuaded her to like them back and she irrationally followed their advice, the eight guy was a friend who she only had sex once and who i don't know much about, the ninth guy also had a kid with another girl and my girlfriend said she didn't want to come between him and his kid, the tenth guy cheated on her and she wanted revenge this is where the eleventh guy comes in because the other guy didn't like him and she started to hang around the guy more and eventually having sex with him, the twelfth guy was because the eleventh guy lied to her about something and she got mad with him and the twelfth guy got her pregnant also with her getting another abortion only this time her parents found out about it cause she told them. Out of the twelve guys six were her boyfriends and four of them told her the same thing about waiting to get in a relationship with her at the right time which never happened and the other two guys were flings. Sorry for the long post

P.S She feels stupid now for allowing herself to be used and not paying proper mind to herself which she says most of it happened because she was rebelling and she is 22 btw, most of the guys happened in a two year time frame and she is the only girl i don't feel pressured into showing her my feelings and we both really love each other and want to be together and i'm 19 btw

P.P.S What bothers me the most is that I didn't expect to here this about her, sure the number bothers me but she didn't seem like the type of girl to falter so easily

 

[jurry]

Deal with it or don't, no need for a non-indented page worth of information for this.

 

[MattTheW]

Didn't read it all.
Rule 1 - never ask how many people she has slept with
Rule 2 - never tell her how many you have slept with

Now that you know, you have to decide if you are going to let it bother you or not.
Personally, I wouldn't have let it come up in conversation, and if I did find out I wouldn't let it bother me. What actual difference does it make, she's still the same person you like

 

[NEPA]

If you can't deal with the truth don't ask man. Honestly though did she tell you all those detail without you asking? Thats ****ed up and just going to give you stuff to imagine in your head. Dumb on both your parts...

People mature and change. My girl has friends who slept with over 30 people at 23 or 24. Regardless one or both of you opened Pandoras box so you either have to deal with it or move on man. Only two options.

 

[Merciless Dj]

I´m no one to give advice as I have almost no experience with women, but I would suspect if she cries about old relationships and portrays herself as a victim, as It seems she must have talked to you a lot about them.

 

[paradox/paradine]

I'm trying to let go but the only way i feel like i can let go is by shutting down my emotions in general and some parts she confessed and some i asked because that was all my mind was wrapped around, she cries because she knew she messed up and that she allowed herself to be used and didn't cater for her well being

 

[logicallefty]

At 19 I can understand where this may be a shocker to you, especially if you were raised to believe that women are all these innocent little flowers who do no wrong.

My ex "wife" cheated on me with 3 men that I confirmed. But as I mentioned in another thread a day or two ago her son is 20. He Hates his mother's guts. He and I are still very close.

He did some math in his head one day, thought back long and hard to his childhood. He said with a reasonable degree of certainy that he feels that his mother slept with about 900 men. And those are the ones he could account for. Just thinking about man after man after man coming and going in his life from the time he was 2 or 3 to 19 when he told his mother how much of a wh0re he thought she was, and hasn't talk to her sense then.

900 d!cks before mine... Hmm.. Yeah... Of course I had no idea about that at the time I stuck mine in there.. Nothing I can do now.

 

[Zarky]

Rule 1 - never ask how many people she has slept with
Rule 2 - never tell her how many you have slept with

This. Funny thing is, no woman over the age of 30 will even broach this topic :crazy:

 

[NEPA]

She didn't just mess up. She messed up over, and over and over, and over, etc,....


Now, you will get some men on here saying "You are a serial cheater, slept with a lot of girls, you can't judge, etc,...). Don't listen to that bull$hit. Let HER worry about what she is getting. YOU worry about what YOU are getting.

And to be perfectly honest, you aren't getting anything worth sacrificing your other sexual options for. My advice? Walk away from this train-wreck.

This is true. She has been averaging roughly 4 guys a year. My girl has been with 3 guys prior (I don't ask but thats what I get) since shes 16 now going on 25. No one wants to think about other guys screwing their girl. Truth is we all like sex. It's natural. The only problem is when girls use it as a self esteem booster and realize that it isn't helping, they find a guy to latch onto and treat like ****, a sucker per se. If your sensing that get out. 12 guys in 4 years is def going to take a toll on her emotions and her ability to feel brah. I have a buddy who dated a girl and she cheated on him with 5-6 dudes behind his back in like a 2 years period and he kept taking her back. <----Don't be that dude. Also don't expect to find a virgin over the age of 18, they are out there but rare.

 

[paradox/paradine]

She is not trying to use it as a self esteem booster, she was in a rough phase of her if where she didn't have anyone to talk to and trust so in sense she was rebelling, her exes messed her up bad and i have been a guy in a long time she has been able to trust which is why she told me all of this

 

[Bible_Belt]

The next time you fvck her, bend her over, beat her ass, and call her a wh0re. If you can't do that, then you're not ready for this girl.

 

[NEPA]

She is not trying to use it as a self esteem booster, she was in a rough phase of her if where she didn't have anyone to talk to and trust so in sense she was rebelling, her exes messed her up bad and i have been a guy in a long time she has been able to trust which is why she told me all of this

If you are using sex because exes messed you up and you were in a bad place in life that sounds like a self esteem booster or some sort of psych issue. It's cool she confides in you but maybe make this a FWB instead of anything serious. I can see this being a pretty stressful relationship for both of you.

 

[NEPA]

The next time you fvck her, bend her over, beat her ass, and call her a wh0re. If you can't do that, then you're not ready for this girl.

:rockon: I do this to all the girls. Especially the good ones. Lol

 

[NEPA]

Missed the 2 year span part and the two abortions. Dude are you nuts?

 

[paradox/paradine]

Missed the 2 year span part and the two abortions. Dude are you nuts?

it's pretty much been a stress yes because i've only know this for a month or two and yes it has been on my mind for a month or two, the thing is about the abortions, like i said one guy bailed and that was because the condom broke, the next guy i know, he is worthless but she didn't know how the guy acted and when she told him about it he begged her for her to be back with him, the thing is i won't discriminate about abortions because of the way the world is heading and no i'm not mad more along the lines of disappointed, the second guy who begged her to be back with him is one of her exes

 

[NEPA]

it's pretty much been a stress yes because i've only know this for a month or two and yes it has been on my mind for a month or two, the thing is about the abortions, like i said one guy bailed and that was because the condom broke, the next guy i know, he is worthless but she didn't know him and when she told her about it he begged her for her to be back with her, the thing is i won't discriminate about abortions because of the way the world is heading and no i'm not mad more along the lines of disappointed

So she let dudes hit it raw. I hope you had her get checked before you hit it even if your not hitting it raw. Two abortions in less than two years man says a lot. There is birth control. Sounds like you need to move on dude.

 

[paradox/paradine]

The next time you fvck her, bend her over, beat her ass, and call her a wh0re. If you can't do that, then you're not ready for this girl.

What do you mean i won't ready for her if i can't do those stuff?

 

[paradox/paradine]

So she let dudes hit it raw. I hope you had her get checked before you hit it even if your not hitting it raw. Two abortions in less than two years man says a lot. There is birth control. Sounds like you need to move on dude.

the second one was raw yes and the first one like i said the condom broke and yes she is tested, she got a check up few weeks back and nothing showed up and i take a test monthly and i'm clean

 

[NEPA]

What do you mean i won't ready for her if i can't do those stuff?

Lol. Maybe you should work on your grammar game a little man. It means if you can't do that to her, the broad is to wild for you.

 

[paradox/paradine]

You are doing an awful lot of rationalizing here paradox.


First off, how do you know her story of events is the TRUE version? You think she is going to say she was a b1tch or a h0r? Of course not.

Secondly, she fvked a guy but didn't know him? What does this tell you?

Lastly, if you really think she is the victim here, how many other girls do you know at 18 have had two abortions and fvked 12 guys? If it's not very many, then I think you know where exactly the issue lies here. With her.

her first was when she was 21 and same for her second, she didn't **** any guy she didn't knew