Girlfriend getting fat/ debate with feminist

[Pandora]

So i was debating a 20 something yr old "feminist" about how its frustrating that some American women have become too lazy to stay fit for their boyfriends. It was in reference to me getting into a fight with my gf about her gaining weight and not working out a lot. The debate turned into her yelling and getting so angry that she left lol. Here are my points and her counterpoints:

1.) Me: The majority of women's value comes from their looks. Women have the burden of looking sexy and men have the burden of being providers and looking sexing.

Her Response: That's just socially constructed and you are shallow

2.) Me: Men and women are neurologically different so we seek different things in a partner.

Her Response: That's a social construct

3.) Me: my GF should hold up her end of the bargain.

Her Response: You are sexist blah blah blah. Her looks should not be a condition that you base your love for her on blah blah blah

You will be surprised how many people parrot this idea that a man should not base his feelings for his gf on how slim she is. This is an absurd notion to me. I feel like the people that believe this fall in one of three camps.

1.) Ugly fat girls. They need to feel better about being unattractive so they turn their vice into a virtue. They devalue being slim.

2.) Guys with fat girl friends. They cant be honest with themselves and admit that their girlfriends are kinda chubby.

3.) People that parrot feminist talking points without thinking about it.

 

[btownbuck2012]

It's like catching a 6 year old with chocolate smeared on his face and him getting upset when you accuse him of stealing from the cookie jar. It's retarded dude. Why do we even engage in these conversations with women anymore?

It's so far removed from anything that is worth saving, I don't even waste my time with it anymore. Let the feminist and other weak minded people of this country reap what they're sewing. If you think things are bad now..

 

[VladPatton]

As a person of value, a person who appreciates time well spent, and a person with general hesitation to get angry, you just don't engage debates with these women. Ever. You leave such moronics alone.

 

[sodbuster]

yeah, I had a debate with a liberal over the weekend. It's been a long time since I've heard," you're stupid, don't talk to me" {third grade?}

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Well, there are just as many guys who think girls (gorgeous supermodel types) should love them for who they are, even though they work part time at micky d's.

they come across an attractive lady who demands some status from her guy and she's a shallow materialistic gold digger.

Others are correct. There's no point in arguing with somebody that believes biological facts are a "social construct." They LOVE to use the word "should."

 

[dasein]

Feminism is a social construct, the differences between the genders are not. The differences between the sexes physiologically and neurologically are far more distinct than the differences in social and cultural experience historically.

 

[Pandora]

All you guys are correct. Its not worth debating anyone that is delusional enough to think that differences between genders are a societal construct. Debating a radical feminist is like debating a religious fundamentalist. Their ideology is a core part of their very identity. They need feminism to give them purpose in life.

I have also noticed that when feminist debate they get overly emotional and start yelling. I love when this happens because they are undermining their argument. They make themselves looks very bad when they debate because most are not able to do so civilly.

 

[Pandora]

Well, there are just as many guys who think girls (gorgeous supermodel types) should love them for who they are, even though they work part time at micky d's.

they come across an attractive lady who demands some status from her guy and she's a shallow materialistic gold digger.

Others are correct. There's no point in arguing with somebody that believes biological facts are a "social construct." They LOVE to use the word "should."

Dude you are so right. I was thinking about that the other day. Its hypocritical for men to get mad when a female is not interested in them becuz they dont meet certain status/success standards. If we are going to say being slim is a requirement for a women, then we have to hold ourselves to certain standards also. I cant blame a supermodel for rejecting me. I understand that i am an average joe right now.

Its actually harder for men because nowadays we have to be successful and good looking. For women its basically good looks.

 

[btownbuck2012]

All you guys are correct. Its not worth debating anyone that is delusional enough to think that differences between genders are a societal construct. Debating a radical feminist is like debating a religious fundamentalist. Their ideology is a core part of their very identity. They need feminism to give them purpose in life.

I have also noticed that when feminist debate they get overly emotional and start yelling. I love when this happens because they are undermining their argument. They make themselves looks very bad when they debate because most are not able to do so civilly.

I don't even mind the fact that they get overly emotional and start yelling, what I DO mind however, is that we're at a point in our society where that type of behavior is not punished.

Anytime I've gotten into a verbal sparing match with someone and I've been in the wrong and the person has called me out on it, I've either a.) looked like a fool and realized it, hence argument over with me having learned a lesson to reflect on my beliefs, facts, opinions thus bettering me as a person. or b.) I keep arguing only to get further embarrassed once I realize that I am in fact incorrect, thus enhancing my experience from scenario a.) i.e. REALLY taking a minute to think about my beliefs, facts, and opinions as to not embarrass myself in the future.

With feminists, and the feminist way of thinking, this doesn't happen. Feminists are given a pass, thus distorting the natural order of things. Watch the following video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulLJiLH659E

Notice how once the feminist gets put in her place, the anchor stops the interview, not even allowing the feminist to realize or reflect on how badly she got owned, thus preventing future reflection and introspection. Looking like and idiot or getting "owned" is a character building experience. Women today, and feminists as a whole, aren't punished for acting like morons, i.e. spouting nonsense, thus the moronic behavior continues, and Rome continues to burn.

Ever try to call a woman out on some b.s. in a public setting? It's usually the men who go "Whoa! take it easy there buddy!" All the while the woman stands there with this little grin on her face. It's ridiculous. It's a free for all out there. I live in NYC and see this crap on the daily, ESPECIALLY at work. That's the scary part. If you really want to see what a mega beta looks like, step into a corporate office building.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Here's a very interesting read on the history of the "social construct" idea. Note, it's not helpful in arguing against nutjob feminists (since nothing is) but it's an interesting treatise nonetheless.

Sex v. Gender. Understanding Political Correctness

Social construction theory is the beating heart of political correctness. Its many spin-off movements cannot be understood without a solid grasp of the concept. Otherwise, it becomes impossible to make sense of the political world surrounding us. Consider the subcategory of political correctness known as gender feminism.

 

[chuck-101]

Honestly bro, it's her body and her life. Even if you out a ring on her finger she is entitled to do as she pleases.

Be careful. One day you might end up getting seduced by super model who demands you make a six figure salary, keep toned abs, and grow two inches on your pecker.

Maybe break up and find someone who meets your qualifications and will maintain them.

 

[LiveFreeX]

What you should have said.

You: My girlfriend needs to lose weight or I'm gonna dump her... I wish I could find a girl like you who takes care of herself.

Her: Ohhhh ^.^ Thank you. ('this guy is so nice, I bet his gf is a mean fat *****')

You: You know, its just so hard to find someone who cares enough about relationships to want to save them.

Her: You're right! You need to find someone who respects you. ('I could take care of him better than her, stupid blob')

You: You totally understand me, I need to meet a girl who is stronger than that, lets hangout sometime.

Her: Ok, you're cute, here's my number. ('I'll show that stupid fatty what it means to be a REAL woman')

You: Ok but don't tell my girlfriend.

Her: Hehehe, ok. I won't tell old fatty pants. ('Wait till she finds out who has got her man')

You: Oh you're so bad!

Her: I know right!?! ('we totally vibe, he gets me, we are meant to be, I HATE HER')


Your problem from the start is that you didn't build any rapport or connection. You can't come at people from an aggressive angle and get them to agree with you unless you intend to use physical force (impossible here). Ellicit her sympathies, put her in your shoes and speak to her like she wants to be spoken to. The key to winning the fight against feminism is to make them FEEL like women again. Women don't think like men, its not natural for them. You've got to put your argument in a context they can understand.

 

[Moy_1974]

Ask them about the following:

1. Would they date short guys? Watch and laugh as they then claim that 'needing a protector' is somehow relevant in this modern society in which 'strong, independent women' don't need no man is just natural selection and Darwinism at work - and is in no way a social construct. Cavewomen wore stilettos, don't you know?

2. Look at their taste in men. Ask them why they won't date the George Costanza lookalike.

3. Watch their face when you say to them that it's not just about looks. If somebody doesn't want to take care of themself then they have no right to expect me to take care of them.

 

[Yewki]

What you should have said.

You: My girlfriend needs to lose weight or I'm gonna dump her... I wish I could find a girl like you who takes care of herself.

Her: Ohhhh ^.^ Thank you. ('this guy is so nice, I bet his gf is a mean fat *****')

I don't see this working at all. The "My girlfriend needs to lose weight or I'm gonna dump her" part would have fired off alarm bells in her head and it would have overshadowed the compliment. Her reaction may have been worse actually, the compliment kind of comes off as a sleazy pick up attempt and adds insult to injury. It's like saying, "I hate my fat girlfriend... now you on the other hand, what's your number?"

 

[LiveFreeX]

Yewki: I worked with 20 something year old girls, my job was to chat with them and make them feel good about themselves, this is from experience. You can say anything you like to women as long as you direct the conversation to be about other's flaws and how she is wonderful and 'special' and not like all the others (who are b1tches). You should also never admit you are against WOMEN which is how the OP opened the conversation.

In my dialogue, the first part shocks the girl, usually gets her a little on the defensive but she is paying attention, the second disarms her completely. The shock doesn't come from anything she wasn't thinking already, the shock comes from finding out that you have the balls to be honest, genuine and more importantly MASCULINE. You are adding that you are a man and you have boundaries, women respect that in men. Women also want to talk sh1t about each other, its the female brain... and by saying what everyone is already thinking and framing it on your girlfriend, you are giving women an 'out'. Usually I teach multiple women (about 3 or 4) during a class, you never want to attack one or shift the focus to one, you want to talk about something or someone that can't possibly hear them or hold judgment over them. Allow them to be passive/aggressive because its unnatural for a woman to be actively aggressive... they are all b1tchy and they all love it. If you enter into a conversation constantly attacking the other, you are going to get nothing but defense, let them be on the offensive. Instead of saying ALL girls, you need to say MY girl, that way you aren't attacking WOMEN in general and are allowing them the ability to attack your girl as well. Women love to gossip and make things personal and they will look forward to speaking with you if you participate in their b1tch fests.

As an example:

Her: "Ugh, I don't like her"

You: "Really, why?"

Her "Oh, she's just such a slut!"

You "No way, I always thought she was such a good girl!!! You are a good girl right? Are you sure?"

Her "Of course I am, I would never do that, yeah she is always talking about this rich guy, she's a homewrecker and a gold digger!"

You "Gold diggers suck, that's terrible for her to go out with a married guy but how do you know the guy is married? "

Women will go on and on... and all you have to do is listen and ask questions. After they've divulged all their secrets to you, not only will they trust you, they will trust that you are not going to ratt them out and they will be more open to your opinions. Be her friend first, build rapport and then get her to 'dish' on your targets. The correct approach would have been for the OP to take on the feminist by posing his 'girlfriend' as all the negative embodiments and flaws of a proper woman. All women, even feminists, if they like you, want to be YOUR perfect woman and after they finish attacking your 'girlfriend' they'll probably take some time to reflect on how they can change themselves to fit you better.

I once had this one 'Westernized *****' in my school that would always openly attack me during English corner (school meetings) and my methods. During one of my small classes, she got uppity and the other girls struck her down and called her out for being fat and depressed. Then they started in about her fvcking one of the other teachers until she was red in the face and about to cry... that stupid broad never spoke up again. The claws came out... that's Asian women though.

1.) Me: The majority of women's value comes from their looks. Women have the burden of looking sexy and men have the burden of being providers and looking sexing.

Her Response: That's just socially constructed and you are shallow

2.) Me: Men and women are neurologically different so we seek different things in a partner.

Her Response: That's a social construct

3.) Me: my GF should hold up her end of the bargain.

Her Response: You are sexist blah blah blah. Her looks should not be a condition that you base your love for her on blah blah blah

Pandora's problem was that he made BLANKET statements covering all women. Of course girls are going to react negavitvely. I hate when b1tches say "ALL MEN are dogs, ALL MEN cheat, ALL MEN are lazy".. I get into it too. By statement 3, the women already hated Pandora. Instead of making a statement, next time pose a question: Should my GF hold up her end of the bargain? Bet the answer would have been completely different.

Think about how a woman would have reacted if you posed it this way:

Do the majority of women's value come from their looks? Do women have the burden of looking sexy and men have the burden of being providers and looking sexy? Is that wrong? What do you think?

Are men and women neurologically different? Do we seek different things in a partner?

Should my girlfriend hold up her end of the bargain?

If you pose a question, you are asking for HER opinion, not telling her what to think. Women love giving their opinion and they love talking, you need to make her love giving her opinion TO YOU.

 

[Pandora]

Yewki:. All women, even feminists, if they like you, want to be YOUR perfect woman and after they finish attacking your 'girlfriend' they'll probably take some time to reflect on how they can change themselves to fit you better.




Pandora's problem was that he made BLANKET statements covering all women. Of course girls are going to react negavitvely. I hate when b1tches say "ALL MEN are dogs, ALL MEN cheat, ALL MEN are lazy".. I get into it too. By statement 3, the women already hated Pandora. Instead of making a statement, next time pose a question: Should my GF hold up her end of the bargain? Bet the answer would have been completely different.

Think about how a woman would have reacted if you posed it this way:

Do the majority of women's value come from their looks? Do women have the burden of looking sexy and men have the burden of being providers and looking sexy? Is that wrong? What do you think?

Are men and women neurologically different? Do we seek different things in a partner?

Should my girlfriend hold up her end of the bargain?

If you pose a question, you are asking for HER opinion, not telling her what to think. Women love giving their opinion and they love talking, you need to make her love giving her opinion TO YOU.

yeh man i feel ya. I should have been more tactful. With women you have to hide the truth in flattery. Its interesting that you think that radical feminist really just want to be wanted. Ima ponder on that.